welcome to my cluttered corner - where i publicly search for meaning in life experiences that probably didn't need this much analysis.
what don't i think about without the urge to dissect the psychology behind it? nothing. i take apart adulthood like it's LEGO and somehow still don't have the answers.
i’m self-aware but lost. i'm opinionated but unsure. i'm also ADHD AF. i'm all things in between as i fumble through everything, and nothing at all. is this a mistake? maybe. but it's mine to make. if you're fumbling through life too, welcome in :")
cool adult status: not activated, and no, i'm not referring to my passion for a really sharp knife and natural detergents.
at 29, i know there're obviously things that won't stay the same, but i never expected myself to be so religious about getting 8 hours of sleep (no negotiation) and no desire to take shots on a night out. which honestly.... is slightly concerning for someone has always thought of herself as the adventurous & chaotic one.
does growing up automatically take away parts of you that you thought would make you "fun"?
tuning in as i discuss fumbling to define if i have accidentally become.... old & boring, and decoding how to grow up without losing the parts of myself that i still really love.
timestamps:
0:00 - 0:59: intro
1:00 - 2:04: the old woman that i am....that i'm not accepting
2:05 - 05:07: where my definition of “fun” came from
05:08 - 07:30: reasons why my "fun" doesn't feel that fun anymore
07:31 - 11:53: the guilt of "betraying" my younger self
11:54 - 16:42: looking beyond the surface
16:43 - 17:45: outro and a quick question for you 👀
16 Sept 2026
fumbling to ADHD (a 6-month post-diagnosis update)
my first follow up on my journey to understanding my ADHD (and man what a plot twist it has been....)
6 months ago, i found out & got diagnosed with ADHD completely out of a random conversation. after years of thinking i was just lazy, inconsistent, too emotional, or simply not trying hard enough, the diagnosis was one heck of an explanation for why my brain was doing the most.
I was desperate to get the diagnosis, thinking I would finally have an answer for all my problems. it turned out that... getting answers doesn't mean you suddenly have everything figured out (shocking, i know).
tune in as i fumble through learning to be kinder to myself, finding a sense of belonging in a community i never knew i was part of, and questioning some of the things i thought i knew about my future.
timestamps:
0:00 - 04:13: intro + background to my diagnosis
04:14 - 11:50: 1st realization: newfound self-compassion
11:51 - 18:27: 2nd realization: sense of belonging vs sense of self
18:28 - 23:11: 3rd: re-evaluating my values and needs
23:12 - 24:52: outro and all love x
25 Aug 2026
fumbling to love my people from half the world away
an emotional share on how i fumble to love (when has it not been emotional when it comes to family & friends).
after 7 years of being away from home, i thought i have figured out a system to keep myself updated with my family - weekly calls, messages, memes, yearly visits. very efficient. very organized….
until i realized, systems don't work when there're emotions involved.
tune in as i fumble through loving people from half a world away, and figuring out how to hold onto home while building a life of my own.
0:00 - 01:17: intro + quick follow up from "fumbling to have fun...correctly"
01:18 - 05:02: there're plans... just no guarantees
05:03 - 09:37: no catching up systems could prepare me for how much home changed
09:38 - 14:44: the significance of the mundance moments
14:45 - 17:12: standards and requirements i'm setting for myself
17:13 - 18:16: outro and all love x
transcript: https://www.patreon.com/ChloeHoang_Nguyen/posts/ep-15-fumbling-167602909
10 Aug 2026
fumbling to be ready for marriage by 30
have you ever felt like - one day you have all the time in the world because you're only in your 20s with like 70 more years to go in this life; the next day you realize you're 2-freaking-9 and probably need to start thinking about building a marriage and actually being an adult?
yeah.....same. well, in this episode, i'm looking into all the reasons where the pressure might be coming from, why i'm so not feeling ready, and all the hard questions i'm so not ready to answer, and you might not as well.
0:00 - 0:55: intro
0:56 - 4:11: the timeline i thought i escaped
4:12 - 6:29: the source of pressure of it all
6:30 - 11:07: the golden question: what would make me feel ready?
11:08 - 13:47: ah, i guess there're more to it
13:48 - 15:05: outro
transcript: https://www.patreon.com/ChloeHoang_Nguyen/posts/ep-14-fumbling-166327388?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link
27 Jul 2026
fumbling to have fun….correctly
my fellow overthinkers, who else other than us would feels the need to have fun…. correctly, esp during these beautiful summer days?
in this episode, we’re unpacking just that! from Toronto seasonal scarcity, to the pressure to make every moment counts, to now how living intentionally turning out to be…optimizing fun!
0:00 - 4:25 how getting sick made me realize i have a weird relationship with fun
4:26 - 6:24: why summer somehow became something i had to get "right"
6:25 - 9:03: when did i start treating life like a project?
9:04 - 12:03: what might have to do with it ....
12:04 - 12:54 : outro & podcast updates
transcript: https://www.patreon.com/ChloeHoang_Nguyen/posts/ep-13-fumbling-165006630?pr=true
14 Jul 2026
fumbling to date outside of my parents' expectations
"once a headache, always a headache" is what my parents probably thought about me when i first introduced my current boyfriend to them. there's absolutely nothing wrong with him, he's just black....and muslim!
in this episode, we 1st unpack why that combination is probably every Vietnamese parent's nightmare; diving into how history, colorism and religion shaped those expectations; and seeing the unfolding of what started out as "trying to understand my parents" slowly sparked questions i never knew i had.
0:00 - 3:14: intro to the serious relationship my parents least expected from me
3:15 - 9:00: a quick hit of a Viet history lesson, and the stories we inherited from races & religions
9:01 - 14:57: my beliefs, real-life experience & confronting confusion
14:58 - 19:03: questions i didn't know i had, or were running away from
19:04 - 19:45: outro & what's next
transcript: https://www.patreon.com/ChloeHoang_Nguyen/posts/episode-12-to-of-163749991
23 Jun 2026
fumbling to be a girl's girl
one time someone called me not a girl's girl, unfollowed me on Instagram, and honestly? it broke my brain a little.
this is definitely not an easy one to create (which girl wants to be called not a girl's girl?! none). but we're all about fumbling through life on the Internet over here! let me tell you the story of how this happened to me, how i learned (and still learning) to define what this means to me by using Love Island relationship dynamics as my academic source material <3. this is my take (for now) on female friendships, accountability and what it means to be a girl's girl.
chapters:
00:00: intro - why we're talking about this today!!
02:03: the Love Island season 8 debate
03:31: the story behind it all
05:47: questions & confusion
07:22: the Love Island season 6 friendship lessons
08:56: redefining what a girl's girl means to me
09:55: applying back to the situation
12:43: outro & what's next
transcript: https://www.patreon.com/ChloeHoang_Nguyen/posts/episode-11-to-be-161796552?pr=true
5 Jun 2026
fumbling to realized....i'm ADHD!
is this the real life? is this just fantasy? guys, she's ADHD AF. how did we even get here?!?!
in my wildest dream, i would never assumed that i'm ADHD, and somehow, that's exactly what i was diagnosed with 2 months ago.
tuned in as i walk you through the reasons
why this feels absolutely like a foreign concept to me as a Vietnamese girl living in a Western country
how it perfectly explained everything i did in life
and how i've initially been dealing with acceptance.
transcript: https://www.patreon.com/posts/ep-10-fumbling-160272859/edit
26 Jan 2026
fumbling to be bored - & the surprising benefits of forcing urself to
as mentioned in my previous podcast, this will be my last long form eps before i moved into a more spontaneous, shorter form.
in this eps, i wanted to share how much i enjoyed my 2 month social media detox and my realization of why it's excessively crucial to just be ....... bored.
14 Jan 2026
fumbling to make this podcast (lol)
there's no description for this one people. JUST LISTEN TO IT IT'S LITERALLY 4 MINUTES
22 Oct 2025
fumbling through therapy (as you should)
oh hi? little old me is back back back again!! ☺️ in today's episode, i'd love to reflect on how much i suck as a person.
KIDDING, i fully meant reflecting on my 4 years of situationships with therapy (you know what, let's call it therapy-tionships....), and the lessons that came with this (somehow still seemingly controversial) journey.
audibly bonding with me if you also need fixing, and are looking for a clinical psychological solution like i was 💆🏻♀️
6 Jun 2025
fumbling to recognize (none-)boyfriend materials
didn't the title make you feel personally attacked enough? (yes it did).
tune in to audibly trauma-bond with me on my journey of finding the ✨man of my multiple dreams✨
16 Apr 2025
fumbling to face THE quarter life crisis (heartfelt birthday shares)
WORLD! i'm getting old :") 🎂 and what is a better way to celebrate this than to reflect on the extremely "seem to be" made-up concept that we're all obsessed with - quarter life crisis?
*in my old & crazy woman voice* hit play! hit play already!!
19 Mar 2025
fumbling to recognize the media influence on my dating life
i’m backkkkk after a month of struggling to publish - definitely felt that “new year, new me” energy ghosting me 💔. BUT, it’s never too late to sit around and gossip about relationships! ever stopped to wonder just how much your fave on-screen couples are secretly scripting your love life? tune in with me to unpack the damage. ☕️
5 Mar 2025
fumbling to stay CONSISTENTLY GOOD (when i've been consistently lazy...)
woohooo!! first episode of 2025 - HAPPY NEW YEAR confusing besties 🎉🍾 i see your "new year new me" energy shining through. BUT.... are you sure you can maintain that energy until February? 👀
if not, maybe this eps is the answer you've been longing for that real change 🤍
sources mentioned in the episode:
1. 12 week year: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58586934-the-12-week-year
2. SMART: https://www.bitesizelearning.co.uk/resources/smart-goals-meaning-examples
24 Jan 2025
fumbling to go home for Lunar New Year - and the nuances of an independent life
hello, hello & hello again confusing besties - who else is READY for Lunar New Year? 🎉🧧 no time to reflect like before Tết (yes, I'm Vietnamese AF), tune in for my 2 cents on what an independent life can look like and the prices that come with it.
Chúc mừng năm mới nhé bà con!!!!! 🥰🐍
24 Dec 2024
fumbling to start doing ANYTHING I love - and how I learn to just DO IT
with 2024 waving goodbye and 2025 rolling in next week 🧧, i'm embarking on a journey of figuring out why i waited 6 LONG YEARS (😓) to work on my lifelong dreams, & why it's totally normal that we're all scared of starting something new.
better late than never baby ‼️.
9 Dec 2024
fumbling together - THE intro
hey there - nice to AUDIBLY meet you 🤗 ! this is my quick intro of "fumbling together" - my online diary where i share with you some very personal struggles that we all have in our 20s & how i find my own way to navigate through it all. here to growth, to meaningful connections, and to "fumbling" through this beautiful and crazy life together ! 🫶🏼
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