Abuse in Aotearoa isn’t always visible. It’s not just the black eyes and broken bones we imagine when we hear the word. We uncover the layers most people miss — the financial control, the forced isolation, the everyday intimidation that never leaves a mark you can photograph. We speak to the patterns unique to New Zealand’s cultural landscape, but recognisable anywhere: the silence that keeps victims trapped, the systems that overlook coercive control, and the myths that keep communities blind.
This isn’t just a statistic — it’s the lived reality of thousands, and it’s time we name it.
Gaslight Gospel Ep 12 – When Warnings Turn Real Part 2 RUN
This guide turns fear into a plan: how to prepare in silence, document patterns, line up allies, and leave without tipping him off. It covers tech safety, money and documents, kids and pets, protection orders, court traps, and what to expect when control escalates after you go—plus scripts, checklists, and ways your community can help without making things worse.
8 Nov 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 11 – When Warnings Turn Real Part 1
Abuse in Aotearoa hides in plain sight. A raw guide to spotting coercive control, naming the pattern, and taking safer next steps.
This piece translates vague unease into clear signals: the “eggshells test,” the apology that feels like a slap, sexual coercion, door-blocking, thrown objects, and the cycle that keeps you hooked. Through vivid scenes and plain-language tools, it shows how to name the pattern (power, not passion), set and enforce boundaries, and make a safety plan before the harm escalates.
1 Nov 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 10 – The Men Behind the Mask Part 2
Before you name it, you question it. Before you question it, you excuse it. This podcast speaks to that blur — the grey zone where abuse doesn’t “look like abuse” because it comes wrapped in charm, apology, excuses, or even a bouquet. In this series of The Men Behind the Mask, we expose the everyday lies we tell ourselves — and the bigger lies he counts on us believing. From personality excuses to polished manipulation, this is the part where the mask slips.
25 Oct 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 9 – The Men Behind the Mask Part 1
Before you name it, you question it. Before you question it, you excuse it. This podcast speaks to that blur — the grey zone where abuse doesn’t “look like abuse” because it comes wrapped in charm, apology, excuses, or even a bouquet.
In this series of The Men Behind the Mask, we expose the everyday lies we tell ourselves — and the bigger lies he counts on us believing. From personality excuses to polished manipulation, this is the part where the mask slips.
18 Oct 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 8 – The Web of Control – How Abusers Build a Cage You Can’t See Part 3
Abuse is not a loss of control — it’s a strategy. “The Web of Control” pulls back the curtain on how abusers methodically limit your freedom, weaving a trap that feels like safety until you can’t move without permission. This section exposes the slow, deliberate process that turns everyday life into a cage you can’t see, but can’t escape.
11 Oct 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 7 – The Web of Control: How Abusers Build a Cage You Can’t See Part 2 12-10-2025
Abuse is not a loss of control — it’s a strategy. “The Web of Control” pulls back the curtain on how abusers methodically limit your freedom, weaving a trap that feels like safety until you can’t move without permission. This section exposes the slow, deliberate process that turns everyday life into a cage you can’t see, but can’t escape.
Abuse is not a loss of control — it’s a strategy. “The Web of Control” pulls back the curtain on how abusers methodically limit your freedom, weaving a trap that feels like safety until you can’t move without permission. This section exposes the slow, deliberate process that turns everyday life into a cage you can’t see, but can’t escape.
27 Sept 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 5 – Abusers and the Myths Part 3
We strip the shine off the myths abusers hide behind — and drag them into the light. From “I had a bad childhood” to “I only hurt you because I love you,” these are the stories they want you to believe... because they work.
You’ll hear how these narratives hook your compassion, twist your loyalty, and keep you tied to someone who’s hurting you. We’ll break each one apart with real-life examples, show you the tactics at play, and remind you of the truth they don’t want you to see. This isn’t theory — it’s survival.
20 Sept 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 4 – 21-09-2025
In this raw and unflinching episode of Gaslight Gospel, we strip the shine off the myths abusers hide behind — and drag them into the light. From “I had a bad childhood” to “I only hurt you because I love you,” these are the stories they want you to believe... because they work. You’ll hear how these narratives hook your compassion, twist your loyalty, and keep you tied to someone who’s hurting you. We’ll break each one apart with real-life examples, show you the tactics at play, and remind you of the truth they don’t want you to see. This isn’t theory — it’s survival.
Abuse in Aotearoa hides in plain sight. A raw guide to spotting coercive control, naming the pattern, and taking safer next steps.
13 Sept 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 3 - Abusers and the Myths Part 1 – 12-09-2025
In this raw and unflinching episode of Gaslight Gospel, we strip the shine off the myths abusers hide behind — and drag them into the light. From “I had a bad childhood” to “I only hurt you because I love you,” these are the stories they want you to believe... because they work. You’ll hear how these narratives hook your compassion, twist your loyalty, and keep you tied to someone who’s hurting you. We’ll break each one apart with real-life examples, show you the tactics at play, and remind you of the truth they don’t want you to see. This isn’t theory — it’s survival.
Part 1 tears down the most persistent myths that keep people trapped: that abuse is just anger or alcohol, that “both sides” are equally to blame, that good dads can be cruel partners, that false allegations are common, and that leaving is simple. With punchy scenes, survivor-informed insights, and plain-language checks (“What actually happened?”), it replaces blame with clarity and offers first steps for safety without shame.
Abuse in Aotearoa hides in plain sight. A raw guide to spotting coercive control, naming the pattern, and taking safer next steps.
6 Sept 2025
Gaslight Gospel - Ep 2 – 07-09-2025
In this gripping episode of Gaslight Gospel, we crack open the abuser’s manual — the tactics they hope you’ll never name out loud. Some men make abuse look like an accident. Some make it look like love. And some make it so tangled that even trained professionals can miss it.
Abuse in Aotearoa hides in plain sight. A raw guide to spotting coercive control, naming the pattern, and taking safer next steps.
29 Aug 2025
Gaslight Gospel Ep 1 - Not Just Bruises: The Hidden Scale of Abuse in Aotearoa – 31-08-25
Not Just Bruises: The Hidden Scale of Abuse in Aotearoa
This opening episode pulls back the curtain on how widespread abuse is in Aotearoa—and why most of it never shows up in police stats. Through lived-in scenes and plain-language breakdowns of coercive control, gaslighting, and isolation, it shows how abuse looks and feels long before bruises. It closes with practical next moves for survivors and allies in NZ: what to name, what to document, and how to plan for safety.
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