Marriage is a lifelong adventure of growing together through every age and stage of life. The happiest couples are those who commit to learning skills that help them weather difficult seasons and deal confidently with relationship challenges.
If you are ready to invest in your marriage and intentionally move towards oneness, we invite you to take part in this weekly devotional.
With this podcast, we help you understand God’s blueprint for marriage so you can create a legacy of greatness.
FINDING CONTENTMENT
Good day again, My name is Gerda Snyman and I am talking about life after divorce.
The previous time I talked about forgiveness and today I want to talk about finding contentment – how to live a full and fulfilling life again.
As I continued my single life, I made peace with the fact that I don’t have what couples have – intimacy with a spouse, children and grandchildren. I had to accept the voids of what I see others are enjoying. It was painful in the beginning and sometime still is when I see my friends bragging about their grandchildren. But I have more time to reach out to others and be there for those who are lonely and struggling. I have more time for Bible study and being with God. I have a peaceful life and found my fulfilment and contentment in those things – being useful in God’s Kingdom.
I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. - PHIL 4:11
A book I once studied was The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs.
Burroughs quoted Paul from Phil 4:11 “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content”.
Burroughs wrote, “Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit…..in every condition.” And Paul said it was something he had to learn.
Most lessons of contentment I have learnt are from these two men. I had to learn to have that quiet frame of spirit and silence the murmuring spirit within me. That came after time when submitting and spending time in God’s Word and in prayer – daily. Then I was able to be of service to others, get involved again with ministry and with action groups at my church. It is striking that John the Baptist, Jesus himself and the apostle Paul were unmarried and they viewed singleness as a legitimate and positive vocation. Paul even said that it is a gift from God.
The most important thing is to have God as the centre of my universe – not myself or anybody else.
If you would like to talk to someone, please contact Family Life South Africa (https://familylife.org.za/contact-us/).
7 Oct 2021
Life after Divorce - Part 3
FORGIVING MYSELF AND OTHERS
Good day, My name is Gerda Snyman and I am talking about life after divorce. Last time I talked about putting my focus on God and trusting Him to work everything out for the good.
Today I will talk about forgiveness. One of the most difficult things to do, especially if you are trying to do that on your own. It was only when I put my focus on God, that I could start the process of forgiving. I had to forgive myself for breaking God’s law and making so many mistakes. I didn’t like the person that I became. Then I had to forgive my husband for his part and also some friends that didn’t support me through this difficult time. I wrote them all letters where I could pour out my heart and emotions – I didn’t send them of course, but I could exactly say what I felt. I talked to God about what I wrote – He already knew.
It was only when I put my focus on God, that I could start the process of forgiving. I had to forgive myself for breaking God’s law and making so many mistakes. I didn’t like the person that I became.
I was reminded of the parable in Matthew 18 where the forgiven servant threw his debtor in prison. It helped me to see things in perspective and to forgive as I am forgiven. Most of the time I struggled to pray, so I just read the letters to God and told Him, that is how I feel. Other times I read through the Psalms and prayed them back to God asking Him to help me overcome my sadness, emptiness, loneliness and to honestly forgive. He was faithful and helped me. I could forgive and the healing could start.
I realised that forgiveness is not a once off event but a process of willingness to let go and be free. To not hold on to grievances or fall into self-pity. Forgiveness is not instantaneous but takes courage and perseverance in faith and trust that God will lead us through. Now after more than ten years, I sometimes get angry and have to forgive again. By God’s grace and help I am able to forgive and live a full life again.
Next time I will talk about how to live a full life again as a single person.
23 Sept 2021
Life after Divorce - Part 2
FOCUSING ON GOD’S PROMISES
Hello Again! My name is Gerda Snyman and I am talking about life after divorce. Today I will talk about how I dealt with the pain and rejection by focusing on God and his promises.
I was listening to a sermon about the life of Leah and Jacob. Leah felt rejected and was having children in an effort that her husband would see her and love her. It is described in Genesis 29:31-35. When giving birth, she said, “Surely my husband will love me now.” Then “Now my husband will become attached to me”. But after giving birth to Judah, she said “This time I will praise the Lord. Then she stopped having children.” Only when she focused her eyes on the Lord, did she have peace. She didn’t know that Jesus, our Saviour, was to be born from the tribe of Judah. God will work out everything for the good of those who love Him, according to Romans 8:28.
ROMANS 8:28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
His promise is still true today and that was what I focused on. I had to trust Him to lead me through the rejection, pain and hurt that I thought would never end. I had to find peace in Him and in his Word. I had to trust God that He will work this out for my good. I couldn’t see it at the time either. I couldn’t see a future for myself in ministry or how I should proceed with my life. The rejection, shame and stigma of being divorced was overbearing and the gossiping I heard did not help at all. But God showed me that I was loved by Him. He took my pain and shame upon Himself on the cross. It took some time, but I rested in that.
Only after some years, could I see how He worked it out for the good. I came closer to Him over time and trusted Him more to fend for me like a husband would. I know He is all and in all.
Next time I will talk about the process of forgiveness and healing.
Contact God's Blueprint for Marriage
Guest appearances
Does not typically book guests
Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.
Host of God's Blueprint for Marriage?
Claim your podcast to manage its listing and keep your show details accurate.
Pod Engine is an independent podcast discovery and analytics service and is not affiliated with or endorsed by this podcast. Artwork and show content belong to their owners. Full legal notice.
Explore this show Podcast research with Pod Engine
