Welcome to "Grit in the Wild," dedicated to exploring the complex journey of healing from spiritual abuse, high-control groups, & religious trauma. Join us as we delve into our personal stories and life lessons for finding a path forward. Each episode offers a safe space to confront the pain, while focusing on resilience & hope. We’ll uncover ways to peel back the layers of complexity, reclaim our power, & make new meaning. Whether you're just starting to process your own experiences or navigating this for decades, our conversations aim to offer support and a felt sense that you’re not alone.
Ep 14: Special Guest: Joy Bullard’s Story @ Gate City / IHOP Atlanta (Part 2)
In this episode, Joy Bullard shares Part 2 of her experiences with toxic faith, spiritual abuse, and the emotional toll of ministry life in IHOP (International House of Prayer) Atlanta / Gate City. She discusses the challenges of navigating leadership dynamics, the impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on worship, and the importance of communication and connection in healing. Joy reflects on her decision to leave a toxic environment and the power of storytelling in processing trauma. The conversation emphasizes the need for courage in confronting leadership issues and the significance of community support in the healing journey.
25 Aug 2025
Ep 13: Special Guest: Joy Bullard’s Story @ Gate City / IHOP Atlanta (Part 1)
In this episode, hosts Adam and Melissa Short welcome Joy Bullard to share Part 1 of her experiences with toxic faith, spiritual abuse, and the complexities of leadership within the IHOP (International House of Prayer) Atlanta / Gate City community. Joy recounts her journey from a young intern to a staff member, the prophetic words that guided her, and the challenges she faced in a high-pressure ministry environment. The conversation delves into the nuances of accountability, the impact of leadership styles, and the importance of recognizing red flags in spiritual communities.
25 Aug 2025
Ep 12: Special Guest: Andrew Bullard’s Story @ Gate City / IHOP Atlanta
In this episode, special guest Andrew Bullard recounts his story of his involvement in International House of Prayer (IHOP) Atlanta / Gate City. His story is a window into the harmful impacts of spiritual abuse, toxic leadership, prophetic manipulation, as he and his wife Joy navigated their exit after the Mike Bickle Scandal rocked the IHOPKC organization. This is a must-listen for anybody who has ever been connected to the IHOP prayer movement to help us all learn from major, systemic harm that has left so many people picking up the pieces.
3 Aug 2025
Ep 11: Pulling Back the Curtain: Getting Real & Raw in Our Own Story-When Impact & Isolation Linger
CONTENT WARNING: S*XUAL ASSAULT
In this episode of Grit In The Wild, hosts Adam and Melissa Short delve into the complexities of toxic faith, spiritual abuse, and the process of deconstruction and reconstruction. They share their personal experiences with religious trauma, the impact of community and isolation, and the importance of support in healing. The conversation highlights the nuances of trauma responses, the need for belonging, and the challenges of moving forward in the healing journey. Ultimately, they emphasize the significance of connection and understanding in navigating the aftermath of spiritual abuse.
Takeaways
The process of deconstruction feels like a simultaneous tearing down and rebuilding.
Navigating what to keep and what to discard in faith can be overwhelming.
Deconstruction often begins not by choice but as a response to trauma.
Isolation can exacerbate the effects of spiritual abuse and trauma.
Trauma responses can manifest in various ways, impacting healing. Support systems are crucial for recovery from spiritual abuse.
Belonging and connection are essential for emotional well-being.
Healing is a complex journey that varies for each individual.Hope can be found in the process, even amidst pain.
Community plays a vital role in understanding and experiencing God.
22 Jun 2025
Ep 10: Conformity, Erasure of Self & Deconstructing Certainty
In this episode, we discuss and journey through how high-control groups can stunt our ability to break out of conformity in our thinking and beliefs. This often leads to erasure of self, where we disappear as people, and our souls languish into what feels like a forgotten place. Much of our discussion is centered around how the autonomic nervous system deals with trauma and abuse, as well as the neuroplasticity of the brain. Also, we unpack more of our own experience of deconstruction and how the process can be so nuanced, especially as we move away from binary, black and white ways of thinking.
24 May 2025
Ep 9: Dr. Brown Scandal, Spiritual FOMO, & Finding Community
In this episode, Adam & Melissa give an update on the Dr. Michael Brown scandal, including how the fallout is impacting them and the wider body of Christ. Also, the discussion highlights how the New Apostolic Reformation tends to lead people to experience spiritual FOMO because of loaded language around prophetic words/culture. Finally, the episode covers Adam & Melissa's journey around finding community post cult involvement.
16 Mar 2025
Ep 8: Pie in the Sky Gobbledegook, AKA Gnosticism
In Episode 8, Adam & Melissa get into how spiritually esoteric beliefs and practices in the hyper-charismatic churches (such as Bethel, IHOPKC, & MorningStar) have harmed many people's lives. They open up about the impact of this on their own experience, and how so much of the teaching is actually unintelligible, pie-in-the-sky nonsense. Also, Adam & Melissa hone in on how the impact happens at the intersection of human agency and spiritual abuse. Beyond that, they explore how gaslighting and spiritual bypassing is harmful when survivors try to tell their story of what happened to them, at the hands of spiritual leaders who deny it.
3 Mar 2025
Episode 7: It's OK You're Not There Yet (Wherever "There" Is!)
In this episode, Adam & Melissa share more openly about their ongoing process of working through layers of grief 14 years into leaving church and in the deconstruction process. They seek to give all of us permission to make space for our own process and journey, no matter what it looks like or where each of us are.
15 Feb 2025
Episode 6: No Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow!
In this episode, Adam & Melissa talk through the impact of the Firefly investigation report findings on the abuse at IHOPKC by Mike Bickle and others. They also process through the Shawn Bolz prophetic manipulation at Bethel, and specific ways that high control groups tend to condition us to check our brains at the door. In all this, baked into the system are illusions of hope (i.e. a Pot of Gold) that were promised but never a reality.
5 Feb 2025
Episode 5: What Would You Say If You Could Say It? (Bethel & IHOPKC Scandals)
In this episode of Grit In the Wild Podcast, Adam & Melissa have a raw conversation about their latest thoughts on sitting with discomfort and owning emotions in the wake of charismatic church scandals @ Bethel & IHOPKC. We are the bodies behind the bus who can't not speak out any longer. How much more "grace" do you give church leaders who have a long history and pattern of covering up abuse?
5 Feb 2025
Episode 4: It's OK to Talk About This!! (Deconstruction, Cults, Spiritual Abuse, & Religious Trauma)
In this Episode #4, Adam & Melissa have an honest conversation about their own journey of peeling back the layers of deconstructing toxic faith years later after leaving Bethel and hyper-charismatic cultish environments. This episode will also hit on "honor" (silent) culture and the harm it causes, and Adam & Melissa's experience in recovering from it.
5 Feb 2025
Episode 3: Melissa's Story (Part of It)
In this episode, Melissa shares some of her story of spiritual abuse and religious trauma that she experienced, and the journey of recovery. Trigger Warning: Spiritual Abuse, Religious Trauma, & CSA
5 Feb 2025
Episode 2: Adam's Story (Part of It)
In our 2nd Episode, Adam shares some of his story of experiencing spiritual abuse while serving as a missionary in Africa, as well as the fallout that happened with the missions organization in Kansas City. Trigger Warning: Spiritual Abuse & Religious Trauma
21 Dec 2024
Grit in the Wild Podcast Episode 1
This episode sets the stage for our journey thru spiritual abuse, cultish orgs, religious trauma, toxic faith, deconstruction, etc. We will be sharing more from our stories in upcoming episodes! Trigger Warning for spiritual abuse.
Hosts: Adam & Melissa Short
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