23 May 2023
The Truth About Mum Rage
The Truth About Mum Rage
Motherhood is a beautiful journey filled with love, joy, and endless moments of pure bliss. But let's face it, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. Behind those smiles, there's a hidden reality that many mothers experience but rarely talk about: Mum Rage.
Mum Rage, also known as Angry Mother Syndrome, is a topic shrouded in stigma and misconception. It's time to peel back the layers and uncover the truth about this powerful and often overwhelming emotion.
At its core, Mum Rage stems from unmet needs. It's not about being a "bad" or "unfit" mother—it's about being human. Just like anyone else, mothers have their limits, frustrations, and triggers. The pressure to be a perfect mother, the juggling act of managing a household, and the emotional rollercoaster of raising children can all contribute to the build-up of Mum Rage.
But here's the real truth: Mum Rage is normal. Yes, you read that right. It's a normal and natural response to the challenges of motherhood.
In this episode we debunk the notion that anger equals failure in motherhood plus we explore:
04:59 Definition of mum’s rage based on Cristalle Hayes's book, ‘Angry Mother Assertive Mother”
08:20 Experiencing the emotions of mum rage
11:29 Trapped in the role of 'Good Daughter'
12:18 How children pick up on parents' rage
17:51 Factors that contribute to being trapped in mum rage
18:37 The significance of repair work
20:47 The connection between mum's rage and self-abandonment
24:13 Managing and recognising your emotions
32:33 ‘How to Stop Losing It with Your Kids" - a practical guide to managing emotions and nurturing a happy child
Key Quotes
13:30 Mum's rage often stems from unmet needs, as it resurfaces due to our own personal experiences of not having all our needs met. This unfulfilled longing can trigger a primal response within us, resulting in a feeling of being out of control. - Leashia Arrowsmith
14:51 Anger is a natural human emotion that should not be categorized as inherently good or bad. It is a vital part of our emotional spectrum, and it is perfectly healthy for us to acknowledge and experience the full range of emotions that we feel. - Charlie Brown
18:50 We can engage in the work of managing our rage, yet inevitably, regardless of how calm and peaceful we are as parents, there will be moments when anger and rage arise within us. - Leashia Arrowsmith
20:38 We're not perfect, and there will be moments of rupture. The true measure lies in how we repair those ruptures, and how swiftly we do so. For many adults, the challenge lies in taking responsibility, for we often struggle to admit our mistakes or acknowledge those less-than-stellar moments in our journey as mothers. - Charlie Brown
24:42 When we project our anger onto someone else, we fail to address and process our anger in a healthy manner. However, when we are able to hold space for our own anger, allowing it to be present, and truly understanding the message it carries, we engage in a beautiful process of self-discovery and growth.
35:21 Anger does not define you as a bad mother, wife, or human being. It is important to recognize that feeling anger is a normal part of being human, and it is a common experience that we all go through. - Charlie Brown
36:33 Remember, your anger is a message. By acknowledging that your emotions have a purpose and are trying to convey something to you, you can begin to approach them with curiosity. Embracing this perspective is an excellent starting point for understanding and working with your anger. - Leashia Arrowsmith
Connect with Charlie
Charlie's mission is to change the way we view & experience motherhood, to co-create & initiate a new standard of care for you. THE MOTHER. Through community, connection & deep conversations together Charlie knows we will rise as a true act of rebellion, rewriting old narratives, recreating & redefining the way we nurture the birth of you. The mother.
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