Her Career Her Way

About Her Career Her Way

YOU CAN BE AMBITIOUS AND CONFUSED AT THE SAME TIME Clearly Becoming is the podcast and newsletter, hosted by Hazel Ann Felder, for ambitious twentysomethings navigating career chaos, identity shifts, and the pressure to "figure it out." Each week, you get evidence-based tools from neuroscience and psychology, honest conversations with people who've become something (not just achieved something), and frameworks for clarity, curiosity, alignment, and action. Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination. New episodes every other Monday

Publisher

Hazel Ann

Category

business

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

25 Aug 2025

Latest episode

5 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

49 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   5 Oct 2026

   EP 48 — Why knowing your values isn't enough (and the audit that actually closes the gap)

   I sat on a text for three months. then i had two drinks and sent it in ten seconds. this episode is about why - and what that says about the other urges you've been talking yourself out of. Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: •  why your urges might not be the problem - your fear might be •  the “something feels off” gut-check, explained without the textbook voice (cognitive dissonance) •  the stat that says you only follow through on 28% of what you actually intend to do •  how alcohol can sometimes make you more honest, not less (with receipts) •  the two-column audit that shows you what you're actually valuing vs. what you say you value •  why quitting your job for “the idea” might be fear dressed up as ambition •  the lens that decides whether you're stuck, or just early 💬  urges are not inherently bad. they're just signals telling you what you need to change. TIMESTAMPS 00:00  the core question: are urges the problem, or is it fear? 01:22  alcohol myopia - why your strongest pull gets loud 05:08  the 3-part check: mission, impact, values 06:34  cognitive dissonance - why your brain rewrites the story instead of changing the behavior 08:38  the values audit: mind, finances, time 14:57  courage vs. honesty - two different urges, two different fixes 15:25  the 28% stat that changes how you see every “goal” you've set 19:07  the life pie chart: career, money, health, relationships and more 24:02  somatic markers - why your body already knows 27:11  closing thoughts + what to actually do next RESOURCES •  Sheeran (2002) - the meta-analysis behind the 28% intention-behavior stat •  Festinger's cognitive dissonance theory •  Steele & Josephs - alcohol myopia theory •  Damasio - somatic markers hypothesis RELEVANT EPISODES •  EP 46 – Why Being Nice Isn't Enough at Work (And What Actually Is) (https://youtu.be/j1WbA3JqAZU) •  ep 45 — stop the spiral (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMN0s6HHb_8) This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming Substack: @hazelannfelder (urthoughtdaughterha)

2. 

   21 Sept 2026

   EP 47 - saying no is the most underrated glow up of your twenties

   IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: the actual difference between standards and expectations (and why you're only in control of one of them) why saying no feels like committing a crime, according to over a decade of cornell research why autonomy is a basic psychological need, not just main character energy what "non-promotable tasks" are and why staying quiet about your work is quietly costing you a promotion the real, pre-pinterest origin story of ikigai, and how to actually use it word-for-word scripts for saying no without torching the relationship 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "keep you standards high, expectations low” TIMESTAMPS00:00 Introduction to standards vs expectations 02:15 Understanding your boundaries and control 03:28 The importance of living in alignment 04:12 Personal routines and setting boundaries at home 07:40 Impacts of constantly saying yes in professional life 08:51 The value of setting standards and saying no 09:17 Research on why people struggle to refuse requests 10:29 Role-playing and scripts for declining requests 12:07 Enforcing standards in personal and professional life 13:43 The self-determination theory and autonomy 15:22 Decision fatigue and its effects on boundaries 16:24 Non-promotable tasks and career stagnation 20:01 Assertiveness and gender perceptions 21:31 The Ikigai framework for living purposefully 25:33 Building your standards and living in alignment 28:37 Practical steps for setting boundaries and visibility 29:40 Reflections and closing thoughts RESOURCES The No Club: Putting a Stop to Women's Dead-End Work — Linda Babcock, Brenda Peyser, Lise Vesterlund, Laurie Weingart You Have More Influence Than You Think — Vanessa Bohns On the Meaning of Life (生きがいについて, 1966) — Mieko Kamiya Self-Determination Theory research — Edward Deci & Richard Ryan RELEVANT EPISODES EP 46 – Why Being Nice Isn't Enough at Work (And What Actually Is) (https://youtu.be/j1WbA3JqAZU) Supercommunicators: How to Talk to Anyone at Work (https://youtu.be/lno7_2-18Yo?si=uW53epwLhLhGu4Ji) This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming (http://youtube.com/@clearlybecoming) Substack: @hazelannfelder (urthoughtdaughterha)

3. 

   7 Sept 2026

   EP 46 - Why Being Nice Isn't Enough at Work (And What Actually Is)

   IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: Why work happy hours and team events feel like a test nobody explained the rules for The real formula behind magnetic people at work: warmth plus competence, not one or the other Why admitting "I've never done this before" builds more trust than trying to look like you have it together The difference between empathy and empathy-plus-advice, and why only one of them reads as competent Which small talk questions quietly kill a conversation, and which ones open it up Charles Duhigg's three types of conversation, and why most small talk gets stuck in just one of them The research behind why follow-up questions make you more likable, not just more curious Why relationships can matter more than raw talent when it comes to who actually gets picked The one follow-through habit that builds more trust than almost anything else you can do 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Warmth gets people to like you and trust you. Reliability is what gets them coming back." TIMESTAMPS (0:00) Why work social events feel so awkward (1:14) The career skill nobody teaches: being both professional and personable (4:59) Why vulnerability helps people warm up to you (8:12) Empathy plus advice as a sign of competence (9:08) Why some small talk questions go nowhere (10:34) Practical, emotional, and social conversations (12:27) What magnetic people do differently (13:24) Warmth and competence as the charisma formula (15:49) Study: more questions and follow ups make you more likable (17:17) How to build better follow up questions from what people already said (19:21) Why relationships can matter more than talent (20:20) Practical ways to handle work social events (21:45) The follow through rule and why it works (22:14) Why reciprocity and filtering matter in professional settings (24:12) Reliability as the piece that earns trust (26:06) Body language, handshakes, and open posture (27:35) The acceptance prophecy and why confidence shapes perception (28:32) Final takeaway: you can learn to be magnetic RESOURCES Charles Duhigg, Supercommunicators Fiske, Cuddy & Glick's warmth-and-competence research (Princeton) Duke University, 2015 — study on question-asking and likability UK workplace connections survey (People Management) Danu Anthony Stinson's research on the "acceptance prophecy" ADDITIONAL Want the deeper dive on the psychology behind this episode? Full breakdown on Thought Mother Diaries (Substack) — link in bio RELEVANT EPISODES Supercommunicators: How to Talk to Anyone at Work (https://youtu.be/lno7_2-18Yo?si=uW53epwLhLhGu4Ji) EP 45: That Time I Thought I Got Fired Over a Teams Message (https://youtu.be/OMN0s6HHb_8?si=beYM9ltrQUmjiW_-) This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming. CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecoming TikTok: @clearlybecoming_ YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

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Spotify

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