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Hesitation Media with Brian Nuckols

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by Brian Nuckols, writer and pioneer of empathic journalism, explores the intersections of mental health, addiction, and cultural transformation through storytelling that values depth, accuracy, and the power of empathy.

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Podcast Overview

About Hesitation Media Inspired by Stanton Marlan’s Hesitation and Slowness: Gateway to Psyche's Depth, Hesitation Media is rooted in the belief that being right matters more than being first. Like the Slow Food and Slow Travel movements, we prioritize doing things properly. Instead of racing social media to breaking news, we focus on accuracy, depth, context, analysis, and expert opinion—the timeless values of quality journalism. About Brian Nuckols Brian Nuckols is a writer and empathic journalist whose work explores the intersection of empathy, mental health, and societal transformation. As one of the pioneers of empathic journalism, Brian combines the immersive storytelling of gonzo journalism with the depth and reflection of narrative non-fiction. His approach is informed by years of experience as a Jungian psychoanalyst working with heroin addiction, trauma, and the complexities of human connection. Brian’s primary research project examines empathy as a weapon against self-hatred and social conformity. His writing invites readers to meet across divides—whether political, cultural, or personal—and to confront the parts of themselves they find ugly, difficult, or even hateful. By fostering self-acceptance, Brian advocates for deeper compassion toward others and a more connected world. Research Interests Mental Health and Addiction: Investigating systemic issues behind the overdose crisis and deaths of despair, blending policy insights with human stories and innovative solutions like psychedelics. Psychedelics and Innovation: Writing about the intersection of culture, neuroscience, and geopolitics in the rapidly evolving psychedelics industry. Philosophy and Society: Exploring the role of meaning, connection, and self-acceptance in the face of social pressures and cultural disconnection. Media and Entertainment: Analyzing how media shapes empathy, polarization, and cultural values. Geopolitics of Human Flourishing: Investigating how global systems influence mental health, addiction, and cultural shifts. <a href="https://briannuckols.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">briannuckols.substack.com</a>

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Recent Episodes

August 7, 2025

The Rain That Never Stops: Poetry as Sacred Ceremony

"It has been raining for as many hours as we have been married."That single line stopped me in my tracks. Today, you'll meet the person who wrote it and how her art opens up an entire universe of meaning about presence, promise-keeping, and the sacred nature of ordinary moments.I'm Brian Nuckols, and this is Season 3 of Hesitation Media, where we slow down with poets to explore how poetry actually gets made.What We ExploreThe craft behind the magic: We dive deep into Nkateko's theater-inspired approach to revision—"every word must audition for its place"—and how she uses strategic vulnerability and white space to create sacred intimacy on the page. You'll hear exactly how she layers time, builds contrapuntal structure, and transforms cultural traditions into universal poetry.Cultural bridge-building: Nkateko explains pula tsa mahlohonolo the South African tradition where wedding rain signals eternal blessing. This cultural context completely transforms how we read love poetry, showing how specificity enhances rather than limits accessibility.Poetry as healing: From her journey leaving medicine for poetry to processing intergenerational trauma through the "Daughter Wound" collection, we explore how art becomes a tool for understanding abandonment, family wounds, and the courage required for deep vulnerability.Key Moments* [15:30] The cultural explanation of rain as wedding blessing that changes everything* [34:45] "Every word must audition for its place" - the craft insight that will transform how you revise* [52:20] Why vulnerability requires safety first, and how that shows up in intimate poetry* [1:18:15] Strategic minimalism: how white space lets readers fill in what you're unwilling to say* [1:25:40] Creating conversation through poetry when real dialogue becomes impossiblePoems we analyze:* "portrait with stained bed sheets" - Close reading with cultural context* "my lover pulls me off the train tracks too late" - Exploring metaphysical trauma and dual consciousness* Selections from the "Daughter Wound" collectionAbout Nkateko MasingaNkateko is a South African writer, performance poet, and scholar whose work sits at the intersection of narrative medicine, life writing, and social justice. Her latest collection, Daughter Wound (Hazel Press, 2024), was Book of the Week at London Review Bookshop upon release.A 2018 Mandela Washington Fellow and 2019 Brittle Paper Anniversary Award winner, her poetry has been translated into French, Bengali, Tamil, Kannada, and Romanian. She was shortlisted for the 2024 Evaristo Prize for African Poetry and named one of South Africa's "100 Shining Stars" in Arts & Culture by The Inside Education Foundation.Beyond her writing, Nkateko founded NSUKU Publishing Consultancy, supporting emerging African writers, and teaches poetry workshops internationally through Lolwe Academy. Find Nkateko's WorkBooks:* Daughter Wound - <a target="_blank" href="https://hazelpress.co.uk/product/daughter-wound-nkateko-masinga/">Available at Hazel Press</a>* The Heart is a Caged Animal - Digital chapbook via Praxis Magazine* Psalm for Chrysanthemums - African Poetry Book Fund collectionOnline:* Official website: <a target="_blank" href="https://nkatekomasinga.com">nkatekomasinga.com</a>* NSUKU Publishing Consultancy: <a target="_blank" href="https://nsukupublishing.wordpress.com">nsukupublishing.wordpress.com</a>* Poetry workshops: <a target="_blank" href="https://academy.lolwe.org/tutor/nkateko-masinga/">Lolwe Academy</a>* Instagram: <a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/nkateko_masinga/">@nkateko_masinga</a> Join the ConversationThis episode demonstrates what happens when we slow down to dig deeper into poetry that matters. Whether you write, teach, or simply love literature that helps you understand yourself and others, this conversation offers tools and insights you'll carry forward.Questions for reflection:* What does this episode make you think about your own capacity for presence?* How do you create sacred space in ordinary moments?* Where have you seen cultural specificity enhance universal understanding?About Hesitation Media: We reject the breakneck pace of social media-driven content and instead embrace thoughtful, empathic conversations that value depth over speed. Season 3 is dedicated entirely to poetry—not just talking about it, but doing close readings that reveal how the magic actually works.Subscribe wherever you get podcasts, and join us as we prove that slowing down reveals more than speeding up ever could. Get full access to Hesitation Media with Brian Nuckols at <a href="https://briannuckols.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">briannuckols.substack.com/subscribe</a>

June 18, 2025

Talking Intuition and Synchronicity with Dr.Terry Marks-Tarlow

Fractal Consciousness, Clinical Intuition & the Dance of Healing with Dr. Terry Marks-TarlowHesitation Media Podcast: Season 2 Finale In this episode, I interview <a target="_blank" href="https://markstarlow.com/">Dr. Terry Marks-Tarlow</a>, whose groundbreaking work on nonlinear dynamics and clinical intuition represents a paradigm shift from reductive materialism toward consciousness-primary models of healing. Terry's integration of fractal geometry, cybernetics, and Jungian depth psychology offers a scientific framework for the very synchronicities and intuitive leaps that make empathic journalism possible.Our conversation weaves together quantum physics and psychotherapy, the telepathy tapes and the observer effect, Paul Meehl's statistical skepticism and the irreducible mystery of healing. We explore how genuine therapeutic transformation emerges not from algorithmic interventions but from the fractal depths of relational presence—a principle that applies equally to journalism, therapy, and any endeavor seeking to touch the soul.Dr. Terry generously shares her revolutionary understanding of time itself as fractal rather than linear, offering a pathway beyond the anxiety of "never enough time" toward the qualitative richness of kairos—the right time, felt in the body and attuned to the moment's deeper rhythms.Most importantly, we grapple with the central tension haunting modern psychology: Can we honor both empirical rigor and the lived reality of synchronicity, telepathy, and the healing magic that defies measurement?Hesitation Media with Brian Nuckols is the world's leading (and only) empathic journalism platform.Episode HighlightsThe Consciousness Paradigm ShiftDr. Terry reveals her evolving understanding of psyche, moving from information fields as primary toward consciousness itself as the fundamental substrate from which all phenomena emerge.Explores how fractal geometry provides a mathematical framework for bridging the material and spiritual dimensions of existence.Clinical Intuition vs. Algorithmic TherapyBrian and Terry examine why "cookie-cutter methods" fail in healing work, while moment-to-moment relational attunement creates transformation.Practical methods for cultivating intuition: embodiment, dream work, artistic practice, and the profound teaching of raising children or caring for animals.The Paul Meehl DilemmaBrian confesses his internal wrestling between statistical rigor (represented by Paul Meehl's empiricism) and the undeniable reality of clinical intuition and synchronicity.Dr. Terry positions herself as the "angel" to Meehl's "devil," advocating for right-brain, relational epistemology over purely left-brain, either/or logic.Observer Effect in TherapyUnlike studying Mercury through a telescope, therapeutic work involves mutual transformation—"we are both the observer, the observed, and the actor."Explores how brain synchrony, physiological attunement, and sometimes deliberate "anti-sync" create the container for healing.Fractal Time & the End of ScarcityDr. Terry's revolutionary approach to time management: adding "imaginary dimensions" to linear time creates infinite depth and possibility.Personal examples of how slowing down paradoxically increases productivity and eliminates the feeling of "never enough time."Pattern Matching & Higher DimensionsFrom the telepathy tapes to synesthesia to therapeutic synchrony—all manifestations of consciousness operating in fractal, multidimensional pattern recognition.Distinguishes between computational AI (limited to binary states) and consciousness (infinite dimensional meaning-making).Addiction as Feedback LoopBrian's cybernetic insight: recovery can become part of the addictive cycle itself, with AA meetings and 90-day sobriety chips functioning as negative feedback that stabilizes the system.Dr. Terry's complexity theory response: health requires variability, learning, and "a little bit of chaos"—not rigid repetition.Dance as Embodied HealingBoth Brian and Terry share how dance serves as a "joy factory" and laboratory for creativity, relationship, and somatic intelligence.Clinical applications: using contact improvisation to teach rigidity, ballet to provide structure for chaos, movement to unlock people "stuck in their heads."The Mystery of HealingDr. Terry's honest confession: "It feels like magic when people heal... I sure as hell can't tell you what's happening there."Her concept of therapists as "embedding spaces" providing fractal dimensionality for clients' consciousness to reorganize and transform.Key Concepts & Themes1. Fractal EpistemologyDefinition: A right-brain, relational way of knowing that honors the infinite depth between finite categories, using mathematical principles of self-similarity and recursive feedback loops.Episode Context: Dr. Marks-Tarlow proposes this as an alternative to Aristotelian either/or logic, better suited for understanding consciousness, healing, and the observer effect in therapy.2. Clinical Intuition (Local & Non-Local)Definition: The moment-to-moment felt sense that guides therapeutic interventions, ranging from in-the-room attunement to telepathic/precognitive awareness across space and time.Episode Context: Terry and her colleague Jacob Shapiro have modeled both forms using fractal cascade theory and quantum field concepts.3. The Observer Effect in HealingDefinition: Unlike physical sciences where observation doesn't change the system, therapy involves mutual transformation where both client and therapist are continuously altered by their interaction.Episode Context: This fundamental difference requires new methodologies that honor intentionality, learning, and the creative emergence that occurs in conscious relationship.4. Pattern Matching ConsciousnessDefinition: The brain's capacity to recognize self-similar patterns across different scales, dimensions, and sensory modalities—from synesthesia to therapeutic synchrony to psychic phenomena.Episode Context: Dr. Terry suggests this operates through the cerebellum and represents higher-dimensional consciousness rather than cortical computation.5. Fractal Time ManagementDefinition: Moving beyond linear "bucket" thinking about time by adding imaginary dimensions that create infinite depth and qualitative richness in each moment.Episode Context: Dr. Terry reports never feeling rushed and always having "enough time" by living according to these principles.6. Positive Feedback SystemsDefinition: In cybernetics, self-amplifying loops that destabilize existing patterns—which Brian uses therapeutically to break addiction cycles that have become rigidly homeostatic.Episode Context: Contrasts with negative feedback (which maintains stability) and offers a way to introduce necessary chaos into overly rigid psychological systems.7. Synchronicity as Natural PhenomenaDefinition: Meaningful coincidences that reveal the interconnected nature of consciousness and matter, treated as natural rather than supernatural occurrences worthy of scientific investigation.Episode Context: Both Brian and Terry share examples of how synchronicity becomes self-amplifying once you begin trusting its meaningfulness.Reflections & Takeaways* Science as Portal to Spirituality: Mathematical modeling of consciousness can deepen rather than diminish the mystery of healing and transformation.* Embodied Knowing: Clinical intuition emerges from body awareness, relational attunement, and willingness to be changed by our work.* The Healing Paradox: The more we acknowledge our subjective involvement, the more objective (and effective) our therapeutic work becomes.* Time as Quality: Moving from chronos (clock time) to kairos (felt timing) creates abundance rather than scarcity in both work and life.* Pattern Recognition: Whether in therapy, journalism, or daily life, learning to sense self-similar patterns across scales opens new dimensions of understanding.Call to ActionPractice Fractal Time: Choose one daily activity and deliberately slow it down. Notice if this creates more spaciousness rather than making you "behind schedule."Track Your Synchronicities: For one week, note meaningful coincidences without dismissing them. Observe if attention to synchronicity increases their frequency.Cultivate Clinical Intuition: Whether or not you're a therapist, practice moment-to-moment awareness of what your body knows about people and situations before your mind analyzes.Explore Your Meehl-Marks-Tarlow Tension: In your own field, where do you feel torn between measurable outcomes and qualitative depth? Can you honor both?Further Exploration:<a target="_blank" href="https://markstarlow.com/">Dr. Marks-Tarlow’s Website</a>: Access her complete repository of papers on nonlinear dynamics, clinical intuition, and fractal geometry applications to psychology.Pattern Practice: Spend time in nature or with music, letting yourself sense self-similarity across different scales—the branching of trees, the rhythm of waves, the fractals in your breathing.Dance Medicine: Find a movement practice that challenges your habitual patterns. Notice what your body teaches your mind about flexibility, structure, and creative emergence. Get full access to Hesitation Media with Brian Nuckols at <a href="https://briannuckols.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">briannuckols.substack.com/subscribe</a>

April 20, 2025

Hello Satan

🕯️ Hello Satan: Inside the Complex Psychology of a School ShooterHesitation Media | April 20, 2025Episode Show NotesHesitation Media with Brian Nuckols is a Slow Journalism Platfrom. Make Hesitation part of your media diet, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.🌑 OverviewIn this livestream, recorded on Easter Sunday and 4/20—a date loaded with cultural and symbolic resonance—I reflect on a longform investigation that will be published in May in a major U.S. magazine. The story centers on Solomon Henderson, the young man responsible for the Antioch High School shooting in January 2025, and the disturbing online ecosystem that shaped his descent into violence.This episode explores the psychological, archetypal, and digital roots of extremism, as well as the ethical challenges of documenting these stories with care, clarity, and responsibility. If you care about shadow work, slow journalism, the edges of internet culture, or the warping of religious and mythic symbolism in modern violence, this is one to listen to all the way through.Topics CoveredThe Film That Opened a Portal* Background on Year to Kill, the short slasher film that sparked this deeper investigation.* Reflections on the archetypal intensity of school shooter narratives and the cursed production energy around the project.The Antioch Shooting and My Archival Process* How I began collecting materials and archiving Solomon’s online footprint immediately after the shooting.* A strange and deeply obscure reference to the Noctulians—and how it led to uncovering links to the Order of Nine Angles (O9A), a Nazi-Satanic group.Methodology: Empathic & Slow Journalism* Why I take months, not minutes, to understand events like these.* Influences from Delayed Gratification magazine and Jungian analyst Stanton Marlan.* The importance of shadow integration in both personal psychology and the collective psyche.Key Findings from the Investigation1. Saint Culture* A dangerous new trend: glorifying mass shooters as saints or martyrs in online subcultures.* Solomon actively sought—and received—this sainthood from corners of Gen Z and Gen A extremist communities.2. The Satanic Schism* True Believers: Ideologically committed Satanists (e.g., O9A members in Oxford-adjacent networks).* Chaos Trolls: Meme-fueled nihilists who use Satanism, gore, and taboo imagery to provoke reactions and perform stochastic terror.* Solomon appeared to be caught between these worlds.3. The Radicalization ProcessA four-stage breakdown of how Solomon—and potentially others—are groomed into acts of mass violence:* Identity Crisis and social alienation.* Online Initiation via troll boards and esoteric communities.* Escalation Feedback Loops encouraging increasingly extreme content/actions.* Aftermath and Mythologizing, including posthumous canonization by online peers.Challenges, Harassment and Online Blowback* After my reporting went viral, I was:* Doxxed on Kiwi Farms.* Harassed by right-wing influencers like Alex Rosen.* Targeted by false narratives claiming I was “defending pedophiles.”* I respond to those critiques, and defend the psychological nuance behind my work.Ethics, Journalism, and the Shadow* The legacy of Columbine and how we’ve gone from sensationalism to silence in media coverage.* The ethical dilemma: “Do no harm” (mental health) vs. “Inform the public” (journalism).* Why I believe empathic, slow reporting can help us prevent future violence, not just report it after the fact.What’s Next?* The full longform article will publish in May—details coming soon.* We’ll continue covering:* The April 2025 Wisconsin case (a potential “true believer”).* The intelligence infiltration of radical networks (FBI, Temple of Blood, entrapment discourse).* Stay tuned for future show notes, transcripts, and investigations here on Hesitation Media.Final Invitation“Whether someone is a troll or a true believer—respect is the starting point. Not mockery, not moral panic. If we’re going to confront radicalization, we have to understand what’s behind the mask.”If you care about this kind of work, please share this episode, subscribe to the Substack, and leave a comment with your thoughts. Your presence matters here.— Signing off. Going to the beach. Happy Easter or whatever you’re doing.Brian4/20/2025 Get full access to Hesitation Media with Brian Nuckols at <a href="https://briannuckols.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4">briannuckols.substack.com/subscribe</a>

13 total episodes available

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What is Hesitation Media with Brian Nuckols?: About Hesitation Media

Inspired by Stanton Marlan’s Hesitation and Slowness: Gateway to Psyche's Depth, Hesitation Media is rooted in the belief that being right matters more than being first. Like the Slow Food and Slow Travel movements, we prioritize doing things properly. Instead of racing social media to breaking news, we focus on accuracy, depth, context, analysis, and expert opinion—the timeless values of quality journalism.

About Brian Nuckols Brian Nuckols is a writer and empathic journalist whose work explores the intersection of empathy, mental health, and societal transformation. As one of the pioneers of empathic journalism, Brian combines the immersive storytelling of gonzo journalism with the depth and reflection of narrative non-fiction. His approach is informed by years of experience as a Jungian psychoanalyst working with heroin addiction, trauma, and the complexities of human connection.

Brian’s primary research project examines empathy as a weapon against self-hatred and social conformity. His writing invites readers to meet across divides—whether political, cultural, or personal—and to confront the parts of themselves they find ugly, difficult, or even hateful. By fostering self-acceptance, Brian advocates for deeper compassion toward others and a more connected world.

Research Interests

Mental Health and Addiction: Investigating systemic issues behind the overdose crisis and deaths of despair, blending policy insights with human stories and innovative solutions like psychedelics. Psychedelics and Innovation: Writing about the intersection of culture, neuroscience, and geopolitics in the rapidly evolving psychedelics industry. Philosophy and Society: Exploring the role of meaning, connection, and self-acceptance in the face of social pressures and cultural disconnection. Media and Entertainment: Analyzing how media shapes empathy, polarization, and cultural values. Geopolitics of Human Flourishing: Investigating how global systems influence mental health, addiction, and cultural shifts. <a href="https://briannuckols.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast">briannuckols.substack.com</a>
How often does this podcast release new episodes?: This podcast updates daily.
Where can I listen to this podcast?: This podcast is available on 4 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
Does this podcast accept guests?: Yes, this podcast regularly features guests.

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