Hey White Women

About Hey White Women

In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca discuss their experiences with cults and the realization that white supremacy is a cult. They explore the stages of leaving a cult and the process of deconstructing white supremacy. They also discuss the concept of white privilege and the need for white people to deprogram from the myth of white supremacy. They highlight the importance of understanding and acknowledging racism and the role of white people in dismantling white supremacy. They also touch on the parallels between cult dynamics and societal systems. The conversation explores the importance of recognizing and dismantling white supremacy within oneself and society. It emphasizes the need for white women to actively engage in anti-racism work and challenge their own biases.

Publisher

Daniella Mestyanek Young

Category

society & culture · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

9 Jul 2024

Latest episode

3 Apr 2026

Latest episodes

2 of 67 episodes have a transcript.

1. 

   3 Apr 2026TRANSCRIPT

   Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 69 | Leading isn't Listening

   In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca reflect on the dynamics of race, whiteness, and leadership within activist spaces, particularly focusing on white women's roles in social justice movements. They unpack tensions around who is being centered, who is being listened to, and how "doing the work" can sometimes reinforce the very systems it claims to challenge. Through personal experiences, cultural critique, and sharp humor, they explore concepts like deconstruction vs. decolonization, emotional suppression, performative allyship, and the infantilization of white women. The conversation ultimately pushes toward a deeper question: what does it actually mean to take responsibility and act, rather than wait to be guided or saved? CONNECT WITH REBECCA • Website: https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thewhitewomanwhisperer • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@white_woman_whisperer CONNECT WITH DANIELLA • Order Culting of America (knittingcultlady.com) • Autographed book (uncultureyourself.com) • Bookshop.org link • Patreon (patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal) • TikTok (bit.ly/4muxbu6, @knittingcultladychat) • YouTube channel • Instagram (daniellamyoung_) • Hey White Women Podcast (tr.ee/2gWVBFaYnp) • Cults and the Culting of America Podcast (sites.libsyn.com/534892/site) • White Women Get Ready (mistresssyndrome.com/book (http://mistresssyndrome.com/book)) KEY TAKEAWAYS • White women's participation in activism can unintentionally reinforce harmful systems when centered on validation rather than accountability • There is a critical distinction between deconstructing systems and actively decolonizing one's mindset and behavior • Listening to marginalized voices requires action, not translation or reinterpretation • Intellectual understanding without personal application becomes a form of avoidance • Emotional suppression is often framed as objectivity, but feelings themselves are valid data • Whiteness often conditions passivity, including waiting for authority or rescue rather than acting • Representation alone does not guarantee change without internal transformation • Systems of harm are maintained not only by overt actors but by those who soften, justify, or "whitewash" them • Safety is subjective and often misused to avoid discomfort rather than address harm • Real change requires sustained, uncomfortable engagement rather than performative gestures CHAPTERS 00:00 Exploring Community and Events 02:34 The Dynamics of Race in Craft Spaces 05:23 Radicalizing White Women 07:58 Navigating White Privilege and Safety 10:44 The Role of Emotions in Conversations 13:28 Understanding Bias and Individuality 15:52 The Complexity of White Womanhood 18:34 Listening and Learning from Black Women 21:22 Boundaries and Emotional Safety 24:10 The Challenge of Intellectualism vs. Emotion 28:12 Empowerment vs. Saving: A Call for Self-Responsibility 31:24 The Role of White Women in Social Dynamics 33:48 Understanding Power Dynamics in Cultures and Communities 36:55 The Complexity of Electability and Representation 39:36 Decolonizing Thoughts: The Need for Critical Awareness 44:22 Intersectionality in Justice and Accountability 49:35 The Myth of the Savior: Redefining Freedom and Agency 55:39 Navigating Fear and Responsibility 56:30 The Infantilization of White Women 57:55 Cultural Narratives and the Apocalypse 59:46 Questioning Societal Norms 01:01:45 The Myth of Time and Healing 01:02:41 Redefining Success and Happiness 01:04:37 Challenging Societal Expectations 01:06:55 The Control of Appearance and Behavior 01:08:12 The Role of Women in Crafting and Identity 01:09:53 Understanding Systems of Control 01:11:34 The Intersection of Cults and Systems 01:15:54 Opting Out of Control Systems Produced by Haley Phillips

2. 

   19 Feb 2026

   Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 66 | You're Late. Come In Quietly.

   Content warnings: Racism, white supremacy, police violence (Philando Castile referenced), ICE and immigration enforcement, genocide of Indigenous people, slavery, cult abuse (rape/torture/murder referenced generally), suicide (referenced generally), war/imperialism. Daniella and Rebecca begin by talking about weather disruptions and how infrastructure failures, especially in majority-Black areas, reflect systemic racism and neglect. From there, they zoom out into a larger conversation about white America "waking up" only when systems start affecting them directly, and how that delayed awakening is both infuriating and dangerous because it can become a temporary moment rather than lasting change. They explore whiteness as a cult-like system built on dehumanization, denial, and thought-stopping clichés. Rebecca emphasizes that waking up does not come with absolution, and that journaling and self-interrogation are necessary before asking marginalized people to do emotional labor. Daniella connects this to cult-exit frameworks, noting that people leaving harmful systems often need a soft landing to avoid being pushed back into the same cult, but that victims are never obligated to provide that. They also discuss how capitalism functions as a belief system that dehumanizes people through productivity metrics and profitability, and how creative practices like fiber arts can be anti-capitalist acts of joy. Throughout, both emphasize that growth requires accepting misunderstanding, discomfort, and the fact that people change over time, including public intellectuals and leaders. CONNECT WITH REBECCA • Website: https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thewhitewomanwhisperer • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@white_woman_whisperer CONNECT WITH DANIELLA • Order Culting of America: https://knittingcultlady.com/products/the-culting-of-america • Autographed copy of Uncultured: https://uncultureyourself.com/pages/uncultured-autographed • From Bookshop.org: https://bookshop.org/a/104058/9781250280114 • Daniella's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal (https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal) • Daniella's TikTok: https://bit.ly/4muxbu6 (@knittingcultladychat) • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuFRBZ2w3QsYs7Km69keHsg • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stories/daniellamyoung_/ • Hey White Women Podcast: https://tr.ee/2gWVBFaYnp (https://tr.ee/2gWVBFaYnp) • Cults and the Culting of America Podcast: https://sites.libsyn.com/534892/site • White Women Get Ready: https://www.mistresssyndrome.com/book (https://www.mistresssyndrome.com/book) KEY TAKEAWAYS • Infrastructure and public services failures often track racialized neglect, not just "bad luck" or weather • White America frequently "wakes up" only when harm reaches them personally • The danger of focusing only on ICE, or any single symptom, is that people may go back to sleep when the crisis feels less urgent • Whiteness functions like a cult: dehumanization, denial, scripts, and fear-based social control • Waking up from a cult does not come with "ultimate absolution" for harm done while inside it • Journaling and self-interrogation are necessary before demanding answers or emotional labor from marginalized people • Forgiveness is not the same as accountability; changed behavior is the only meaningful evidence • Cult-exit frameworks show that "soft landings" reduce the risk of relapse, but victims are not obligated to provide that landing • Capitalism acts like a belief system that reduces humans to productivity and profitability • Joy-based art and fiber crafts can be anti-capitalist resistance because they reject "usefulness" as the main value • Being misunderstood is part of growth; over-explaining often becomes another form of insult or defensiveness • People, including leaders and experts, change over time, and society needs to make room for that without demanding perfection CHAPTERS 00:00 Surviving the Storm: A Personal Reflection 01:45 Racism in Education: A Systemic Issue 04:18 The Awakening: Understanding Black Lives Matter 09:19 Confronting White Apathy: A Call to Action 13:04 The Cult of Whiteness: A Personal Journey 17:01 Questioning Cultural Norms: The Role of Language 19:15 The Value of Frivolity: Anti-Capitalist Perspectives 22:53 Empathy in the Face of Dehumanization 26:30 The Complexity of War and Propaganda 28:09 Navigating Privilege and Audience 29:40 Understanding Cult Dynamics and Survivor Needs 31:54 Expertise vs. Learning: The Dual Journey 34:13 The Evolution of Thought and Public Discourse 36:54 The Myth of Perfection in Leaders 38:56 Embracing Change and Growth 41:54 The Fear of Standing Out 45:13 Identity and Belonging in a Cult Context 48:22 Forgiveness and Understanding in Healing 50:26 The Role of Society in Shaping Narratives 52:15 Awakening to Reality 55:31 The Role of Education in Change 57:53 Embracing Embarrassment and Growth 01:00:34 Finding Your Role in the Revolution 01:03:31 Community and Parenting in Modern Society 01:07:13 The Illusion of Community in White America 01:10:46 Deconstructing Whiteness and Identity 01:14:02 The Journey of Learning and Growth Produced by Haley Phillips

3. 

   19 Feb 2026TRANSCRIPT

   Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 65 | We Are The Adults Now

   CONTENT WARNINGS: Discussion of racism/white supremacy, police brutality, authoritarianism, gun violence/school shootings, and cult dynamics. Daniella and Rebecca have a wide-ranging conversation about voice, power, and whiteness. They start with how "voice modulation" shows up in conservative culture, including the "keep sweet" Disney-princess voice and how women are socially trained to soften themselves to manage men's emotions. From there, the conversation expands into how whiteness shapes public perception, who is allowed to sound angry, and why Black women are punished for directness. They also discuss Rebecca's creator journey and the shift from data-collecting to output, including the transition into workshops and eventually a book. Throughout the episode, they return to the theme that white women are both the problem and the solution, and that waking up late doesn't excuse harm done along the way. The conversation ends with practical cultural critique about American "safety," the illusion of democracy, the obsession with legal paperwork, and why real resistance requires community, not performative gestures. CONNECT WITH REBECCA • Website: https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com • Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@whitewomanwhisperer CONNECT WITH DANIELLA • Website: https://www.daniellamestyanekyoung.com/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DaniellaMestyanekYoung • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellamestyanekyoung • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/daniellamestyanekyoung/ • Twitter/X: https://x.com/DaniellaMY • Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/daniellamestyanekyoung • Cult Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/daniellamestyanekyoung • Buy Culting of America: https://www.daniellamestyanekyoung.com/cultingofamerica KEY TAKEAWAYS • "Voice modulation" is not neutral; it's a cultural tool tied to gender roles, white respectability politics, and control. • The "keep sweet" voice is part of the infantilization of women, and a strategy for managing male anger. • Whiteness impacts who gets perceived as threatening, credible, "TV-ready," or safe to monetize. • There is no way to "give back" white privilege — the real question is how to use it intentionally and responsibly. • White women waking up late can still be dangerous in community if they want comfort more than accountability. • Craftivism can be meaningful, but it is not a substitute for real civic engagement and organizing. • America's obsession with paperwork, legality, and "citizenship" mirrors cult logic and can be used to justify harm. • People are not "safe" by default in the U.S.; the idea of safety has always been selective and racialized. • If white Americans want change, they have to stop waiting for a savior and accept: "We're the adults now." • If we don't address the cultural pipeline that produces violent white men (and the systems that enable them), the violence will continue. CHAPTER 00:00 Exploring Voices and Identity 02:51 Voice Modulation and Gender Dynamics 05:36 Navigating Professional Spaces as Women 08:21 The Transition from Consumption to Creation 11:22 The Capitalism of Creativity 13:56 Confidence, Performance, and Cult Backgrounds 16:33 Building Community and Addressing Inequities 25:38 Awakening and Responsibility 27:17 The Role of White Women in Change 29:20 Defining Cults and Community 30:24 The Burden of Leadership 32:11 Civic Engagement and Responsibility 34:22 Understanding Citizenship and Legalism 36:22 The Role of Sports in Society 38:34 Legalism vs. Morality 40:44 Inheriting Systems of Oppression 42:41 Healing and Moving Forward 44:52 The Importance of Acknowledging History 47:15 The Dangers of Complacency 49:47 Addressing Gun Violence and Cultural Issues 54:34 The Illusion of Safety and Parenthood 57:30 Community vs. Individualism in Social Support 59:56 Capitalism and Leadership: A Critical Examination 01:02:52 The Reality of War and Activism 01:05:45 Confronting Racism: A White Perspective 01:08:23 The Role of White Women in Activism 01:11:18 Dehumanization and Propaganda in Society 01:13:51 Historical Context of Racism and Hypocrisy 01:16:12 Moving Beyond Shock: The Call to Action Produced by Haley Phillips

Inside a recent episode

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 69 | Leading isn't Listening

Published 3 Apr 2026 · Transcript excerpt

[…] And I'm like, because it it goes deeper than the conversation we are having right now. Yeah. You know, so like I'm trying to right now explain to people that Donald Trump has to convince soldiers to go to war if he wants to put boots on the ground. And I don't know how they're going to do it. Right. There's a lot of convincing and propaganda that it takes to get people to go to war. Right. We've all seen the movies where you have to give the rousing speech before you say charge. Right. Right. And so people are trying to argue with me on this. But the bigger problem is I'm like, why? Why would you ever, as a civilian, think that you understand this issue better than someone with lived experience? […]

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

4.9 / 5

61 ratings

Spotify

4.9 / 5

79 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 66 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

79

Social presence

97

YouTube

0

Engagement

85

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