Holding It Both Ways

About Holding It Both Ways

For leaders navigating the in-between—where inclusion, identity, and impact meet. Through real human stories and lived experience, each episode offers reflections and insights to help you lead with greater depth, courage, and care. fortlage.substack.com (https://fortlage.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

A podcast for leaders holding paradox—humanity and strategy.

Category

business · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

18 Jul 2025

Latest episode

26 Aug 2026

Latest episodes

18 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   26 Aug 2026

   Leadership Needs Empathy and a Backbone

   In this episode of Holding It Both Ways, Cynthia Fortlage is joined by leadership coach and Next Level University co-founder Alan Lazaros for a conversation about the tensions great leaders learn to hold. Drawing on his own journey through loss, ambition, professional success and a life-changing car accident, Alan explores how those experiences shaped the way he thinks about leadership today. Together, Cynthia and Alan unpack some of leadership’s most important dualities: confidence and humility, empathy and accountability, hard work and smart work, and the ability to see both the bigger picture and what is happening on the front line. They also explore what changes when teams work virtually, why organisational values need to become more than words on a wall, and how clarity and self-belief influence our ability to lead others. A thoughtful conversation about why leadership rarely asks us to choose one side or the other. More often, the work is learning how to hold both. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fortlage.substack.com (https://fortlage.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

2. 

   13 Aug 2026

   When Acceptance Becomes a Leadership Practice

   Yesterday felt like one of those days where the universe was trying to get my attention. I know. A little Cynthia woo woo to begin with. But between the eclipse, the Perseids meteor shower, and the wider sense of movement in the sky, something about the day felt significant to me. Not dramatic. Not theatrical. More like a quiet insistence that something was shifting. This morning, I think I understood what the shift was. For nearly ten years, I have spoken about Acceptance without Understanding™ as a way of accepting people before we fully understand them. That has always been the heart of the work. How do we move through difference? How do we create belonging when someone else’s identity, experience, belief, grief, faith, culture, or way of being does not immediately make sense to us? How do we stop making acceptance wait until understanding catches up? But today, something widened. I had been listening to Shannon Shallcross speak about how often we ask “why” when life hurts us. * Why did the relationship end? * Why did they leave? * Why did I lose that job? * Why did this happen? * Why did someone I love die? We ask why because we think understanding will help us accept what happened. And sometimes it does. Sometimes the answer helps. Sometimes the explanation gives us language, context, closure, or a way to make meaning. But sometimes the answer never comes. Sometimes the answer comes and still does not heal the wound. Sometimes life does not explain itself in a way that lets us move forward neatly. That is when it hit me. Acceptance without Understanding™ is not only about accepting other people. It is also about accepting life when life does not give us the why. That feels enormous to me. Because this is not simply an idea I teach. Looking back over the losses, endings, abandonment, and reinvention of the last decade, I can see more clearly now that Acceptance without Understanding™ was also part of how I survived without becoming bitter. It helped me keep moving when the why did not come. It helped me accept what had happened without letting what happened become all of me. That does not mean the pain did not matter. It does not mean the questions were wrong. It does not mean we should not seek understanding where understanding is possible. It means we cannot always make understanding the condition for continuing to live. And that matters in leadership too. Because leaders are often asked to move through uncertainty before they have full understanding. * A team changes. * A strategy fails. * A trusted colleague leaves. * A restructure lands badly. * A conflict emerges. * A decision has unintended consequences. * A future people planned for disappears, and another one has to be built before anyone feels ready. In those moments, the search for understanding can be useful. Reflection matters. Learning matters. Accountability matters. But if we make complete understanding the condition for moving forward, we can get stuck waiting for a level of certainty life rarely gives us. Acceptance is not passivity. It is not resignation. It is not pretending pain, harm, failure, or consequence do not matter. Acceptance is the point where we stop arguing with the reality that something has happened, so we can begin deciding what responsibility asks of us now. That is a leadership practice. * To accept what is true enough to respond wisely. * To keep asking better questions without requiring perfect answers. * To move forward without denying the past. I often say we need to live our lives like a clock. A clock has history. It knows where it has been. But it cannot move backwards through time. It is designed to keep moving forward. So are we. Maybe Acceptance without Understanding™ is one of the tools that helps us do that. Not only with each other. But with life itself. The last time I had an epiphany this significant about this work was in 2020, in Medellín, Colombia, when I realised that acceptance without understanding could grow into acceptance with understanding. This feels like the next widening. A breaking out of the box I had built around the idea. For years, I thought I was teaching people how to accept one another before understanding was complete. Now I am beginning to see that I was also learning how to accept life when understanding never arrived. Maybe that is why this feels so important. Because the work was never only about other people. It was also teaching me how to keep living. How to keep moving. How to keep becoming. And maybe that is the point of living with our own work for long enough. Sometimes we teach something for years, only to discover it still has more to teach us. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fortlage.substack.com (https://fortlage.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

3. 

   5 Dec 2025

   Transitions

   Cynthia shared her personal journey of growing up in Northern Ireland and later moving to Canada, reflecting on how both privilege and oppression shaped her leadership journey through various transitions. She discussed her spiritual and gender transitions, which broadened her perspective and deepened her empathy and courage, leading her to explore leadership in diverse contexts. Through her experiences across countries, religions, and careers, Cynthia has developed unique insights into leadership and inclusion, working with organizations to help leaders create workplaces of real belonging. Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

4. 

   26 Nov 2025

   Communicating Belonging at Work, our guest Heera Rehman

   In this conversation, Cynthia speaks with tech founder Heera Rehman, who spent a decade leading internal communications for large, global companies before launching WorldTone AI. Together, they explore the heart of inclusive, people-first communication in rapidly shifting workplaces. Heera shares how aligning messaging with values builds trust, why diversity storytelling should not be seasonal, and how emerging technology can support rather than replace humanity in today’s leadership. From finding your voice as a communicator to building tools that elevate belonging, this episode offers practical insight for leaders and communicators who want to create messaging that respects people and reflects reality. Duration [TBC] Key Takeaways • Communication shapes culture long before strategies appear on paper.• Values are anchors for leaders and communicators during uncertainty.• Inclusion cannot rely only on big moments like International Women’s Day.• Technology can strengthen voice and clarity when used with purpose.• Accessible language builds trust and avoids unintentional exclusion.• Leaders must ask who is missing or unheard when they communicate. “Technology should amplify human connection, not replace it.” - Heera Rehman Guest Bio:Heera Rehman is a London-raised tech founder with more than ten years’ experience in global internal communications. She has led comms across multiple industries for workforces of over 10,000 employees. Heera founded WorldTone AI, a smart platform that helps organisations plan, draft, and measure inclusive, people-first communication that stays true to brand voice. Resources Mentioned • WorldTone AI website: https://www.worldtone.ai/ (https://www.worldtone.ai/) If you enjoyed this episode, follow the show, leave a review, and share with someone shaping workplace culture. Connect with Cynthia on LinkedIn and explore WorldTone AI to elevate inclusive communication in your organisation. #AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding #InclusiveLeadership #InternalCommunications #AIForGood Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

5. 

   12 Nov 2025

   If we practised emotional intelligence like a skill, what would change at work?

   In this episode, Amanda Davie and Cynthia get specific about treating emotional intelligence as a skill you practise, not a trait you either have or lack. We talk about coaching moves any leader can use this week, the inclusive norms that make collaboration work, and how communities accelerate careers. Amanda shares lessons from co‑leading Equal Talent, building She Has No Limits, and coaching inside high‑growth, high‑pressure environments. Cynthia layers in Acceptance Without Understanding and the 4P Catalyst Framework to turn values into daily behaviours. You will leave with simple rituals for meetings, feedback, and decisions that grow trust and results. Key Takeaways * Emotional intelligence is trainable. Practise it through check‑ins, clean questions, and thoughtful closures. * Inclusion shows up in repeatable norms: how we meet, decide, and follow up. * Coaching skills for leaders: listen with curiosity, ask one clean question, and agree on one clear next step. * Community compounds growth. Mentors, peer circles, and alumni spaces create belonging and momentum. * Do not fix women, fix systems. Remove bias, increase access, and design support that makes progress possible. Guest Bio Amanda Davie is an executive and leadership coach, consultant, and co‑CEO of Equal Talent, specialising in developing emotionally intelligent, inclusive, and collaborative leaders and cultures. A former digital media entrepreneur and founder, she now works with global organisations, start‑ups, and communities to make the world of work fairer, more inclusive, and more rewarding for everyone. What you will learn: * How to practise emotional intelligence in everyday leadership * Simple meeting rituals, decision clarity, and feedback habits * One‑question coaching moves that any manager can use * How communities like She Has No Limits accelerate careers Resources Mentioned * Equal Talent — coaching company co‑led by Amanda * EqualTalent.com * She Has No Limits — community for professional women * https://www.linkedin.com/groups/13058022/ * The Coach House — coach training faculty * https://thecoachhouse.ltd/ Leaders who want to explore mentoring and culture change, book time with Cynthia: https://calendly.com/cynthiafortlage/30min. Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

6. 

   2 Oct 2025

   If Not Now, When? Clarity, Courage & Simple Systems

   Jeanne Omlor joins Cynthia for a straight‑talk conversation about moving from hesitation to action. We explore how to build a values‑aligned business (or team) by choosing clarity over complexity, getting crystal‑clear on the offer, who it serves, and the result it creates—and then using simple, repeatable systems you will actually stick to. Jeanne shares candid lessons from building online after previous offline success, the mindset shift behind her mantra “if not now, when?”, and why service‑led selling beats performative hustle. You will leave with practical prompts to make decisions faster, reduce friction in your workflow, and lead with courage instead of delay. Key Takeaways -Clarity before complexity: define your offer, audience, and promised result. - Decision beats delay: small, consistent actions outpace waiting for perfect conditions. - Keep systems simple: use tools and rhythms you will actually maintain. - Lead with service: ethical, value‑driven selling builds trust and results. - Stories > slogans: real client outcomes anchor credibility. - Courage is a practice: notice fear, act anyway, and iterate. “If not now, when?” — Jeanne Omlor Guest Bio: Jeanne Omlor is a Business Strategist, multi 7-Figure Online Business Coach, and Certified Servant Leadership Executive Coach. At 54 years old, she was a solo parent in deep debt and got herself online and to $1M in 17 months, without ads, and has since scaled to multi-millions in 5 years. Her company has helped almost 600 businesses to thrive online. She is emotionally connected to helping others prosper, as she lived in lack for years and overcame that mindset. She is now helping as many people as she can to maximise profits and reach their full potential while being the visionary they're destined to be https://jeanneomlor.com/reviews/ (https://jeanneomlor.com/reviews/)https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanneomlor (https://jeanneomlor.com/reviews/)https://www.facebook.com/jeanneomlor/ (https://jeanneomlor.com/reviews/) Cynthia: Cynthia Fortlage (she/her) is a C-suite executive turned global inclusion and leadership advisor, speaker, and writer. She has delivered 500+ engagements across 30+ countries and partners with organisations to embed inclusive leadership, psychological safety, and practical culture change. Her work blends data, strategy, and lived experience as a trans woman to equip leaders with usable tools, not slogans. Cynthia hosts the podcast Holding It Both Ways and leads The FORTLAGE Collective, offering keynotes, mentoring, and advisory support on culture, inclusion, and change. www.cynthiafortlage.com (http://www.cynthiafortlage.com) LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/cfortlage Substack (Holding It Both Ways). https://fortlage.substack.com Podcast feed:Apple - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/holding-it-both-ways/id1827477002 (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/holding-it-both-ways/id1827477002) Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/1ux7IIJ5b3TwAJfNRNEnlv (https://open.spotify.com/show/1ux7IIJ5b3TwAJfNRNEnlv) YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsRnX1k-_AfPsVN9ZZO2m_5y589ogeF5u (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsRnX1k-_AfPsVN9ZZO2m_5y589ogeF5u) Share this with a founder or leader who is stuck in “waiting for perfect.” Want help turning values into practice? Book time with Cynthia: https://calendly.com/cynthiafortlage/30min (https://calendly.com/cynthiafortlage/30min). Subscribe and leave a short review—it really helps others find the show. Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

7. 

   18 Sept 2025

   Small Teams, Big Culture — Leading Well in SMEs (with Heather McDaniel)

   SMEs run hot: fewer people, faster decisions, and almost no safety net. In this conversation, Heather McDaniel shares how small and medium enterprises can build strong cultures without big‑company budgets. We explore the realities of “trial‑by‑fire” leadership, what to do when training is thin, and how deep listening and clear practices create psychological safety on small teams. Heather traces her journey from the U.S. to Spain and why she founded the Life Love Leadership Project, plus a client story that shows culture change in action. Leaders will leave with practical ways to steady teams in uncertainty, replace performative overwork with presence, and embed inclusive habits that scale. Key Takeaways SMEs have unique constraints—design lightweight practices that fit reality, not theory. Without formal training, leaders learn in real time; give them simple tools and peer support. Deep listening is a leadership practice: it builds trust, clarity, and better decisions. Safety nets matter in small teams—norms and check‑ins reduce reactivity and burnout. Inclusion scales through habits (how we meet, decide, and follow up), not slogans. Founder/owner context shapes culture—name it, then build shared leadership. “Leaders tend to learn trial‑by‑fire—real time, without a safety net.” — Heather McDaniel About Heather McDaniel: Heather McDaniel is the founder of the Life Love Leadership Project and a keynote speaker, facilitator, and writer whose work sits at the intersection of leadership, resilience, and transformation. She’s spent her career helping people and organisations navigate change from the inside out through presence and the courage to lead themselves first.Heather specialises in working with small and medium-sized enterprises, where leadership decisions ripple quickly through culture and performance. She brings a deeply human lens to her work, shaped by her own journey of rebuilding abroad in Valencia, Spain, and her conviction that real leadership is less about control and more about creating the conditions where people can thrive.Her signature framework, the REBEL Method, guides leaders through reflection, breaking old patterns, and evolving into values-led leadership. Whether in workshops, retreats, or keynotes, Heather is committed to helping leaders hold steady in uncertain times and build futures rooted in integrity, resilience, and joy. Contact Heather: email: heather@heathermcdaniel.com (mailto:heather@heathermcdaniel.com) LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heathermcdanielcreative (https://www.linkedin.com/in/heathermcdanielcreative?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_contact_details%3BS6h2q9XVTMCzzYV4FNp4vA%3D%3D) About Cynthia Fortlage: Cynthia Fortlage (she/her) is a C-suite executive turned global inclusion and leadership advisor, speaker, and writer. She has delivered 500+ engagements across 30+ countries and partners with organisations to embed inclusive leadership, psychological safety, and practical culture change. Her work blends data, strategy, and lived experience as a trans woman to equip leaders with usable tools, not slogans. Cynthia hosts the podcast Holding It Both Ways and leads The FORTLAGE Collective, offering keynotes, mentoring, and advisory support on culture, inclusion, and change. LinksWebsite: www.cynthiafortlage.com (http://www.cynthiafortlage.com)Booking: https://calendly.com/cynthiafortlage/30min (https://calendly.com/cynthiafortlage/30min)LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/cfortlage (https://linkedin.com/in/cfortlage) Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

8. 

   3 Sept 2025

   Beyond the Good Girl: Working Mothers, Burnout & the Bias Traps

   Gifty Enright joins Cynthia to get practical about the real pressures facing working mothers—and what leaders can do beyond platitudes. We unpack why parents are the most stressed demographic, how the “good girl” social script and performance bias stack the deck against women, and why meritocracy often micro‑analyses women while macro‑analysing men. Gifty shares lessons from her own burnout and from her book, Octopus on a Treadmill, offering usable ideas for cultivating presence (not just more hours), setting boundaries, and driving culture change. We also touch on intersectionality, from being a Black woman and an immigrant to navigating care burdens and the challenges of the sandwich generation. If you lead teams with caregivers—or you are one—this episode gives you language, tools, and next steps to build healthier, more inclusive ways of working. Show Quotes * “Parents are the most stressed‑out demographic.” — Gifty Enright * “Women are micro‑analysed; men are macro‑analysed.” — Cynthia Fortlage * “Performance bias assumes he knows what he’s doing; she has to prove it.” — Gifty Enright * “If you’re there, you’re there—presence over quantity.” — Gifty Enright * “As women, we are at the centre of everything.” — Gifty Enright Key Takeaways * Parents—especially mothers—carry compounded stress loads; design work with that reality in mind. * Performance bias means men are often assumed competent while women must prove it; fix systems, not just confidence. * Meritocracy myth: women are micro‑analysed and penalised for style while men are judged on outcomes. * Presence beats quantity: being fully there matters more than being everywhere. Set boundaries that protect energy. * Intersectionality is additive: gender + race + motherhood + migration can compound barriers; policy must reflect that complexity. * The sandwich generation is real. Flexibility and caregiver‑support policies are business‑critical retention tools. Guest Bio Gifty Enright is a keynote speaker, author of Octopus on a Treadmill, and a leadership coach specialising in working mothers and inclusive cultures. Drawing on her corporate career and lived experience of burnout, she helps organisations reduce stress, tackle bias, and create workplaces where women—and everyone—can thrive. Resources Mentioned * Octopus on a Treadmill — by Gifty Enright * The Gender Bias Traps (corporate workshop) — by Gifty Enright Links * Guest: https://giftyenright.com * https://www.linkedin.com/in/giftyenright/ * Cynthia: www.cynthiafortlage.com * https://linkedin.com/in/cfortlage * Substack (Holding It Both Ways): https://fortlage.substack.com * Podcast feed Call to Action * Share this with a leader of caregivers—or a working parent who needs backing. * Leaders exploring inclusive leadership and culture change can book time with Cynthia: https://calendly.com/cynthiafortlage/30min. * Subscribe and leave a short review—it really helps others find the show. Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

9. 

   2 Sept 2025

   The Courage to Rethink Power – with Natascha Radclyffe-Thomas

   In this episode of Gender Equity Rebels, Cynthia Fortlage sits down with Professor Natascha Radclyffe-Thomas to explore the intersections of gender, power, privilege, and purpose within the global fashion industry. As a seasoned academic, a social impact leader, and the first UK winner of the prestigious Fashion Education Award from the Council of Fashion Designers of America (CFDA), Natascha brings clarity and courage to a topic that too often shies away from complexity. The conversation weaves through her own leadership journey and the pivotal moments where she chose to challenge accepted narratives of success. They discuss how the fashion industry both reflects and shapes cultural power dynamics, and how sustainability isn't just about the environment — it's about ethics, equity, and inclusion too. What emerges is a reflection on how we lead, what we reward, and why rethinking power begins with reimagining our roles in systems we often take for granted. Topics covered include: * Why Natascha doesn’t believe in individual heroes—and what she believes in instead * What sustainable fashion has to teach other industries about values and visibility * How gender and privilege operate in invisible ways in leadership * The tension between being seen and being safe * What it means to lead with joy and not just grind About Natascha Radclyffe-Thomas: Professor Natascha Radclyffe-Thomas is a global expert in sustainable fashion business and a leading voice in reimagining purpose-driven education. She is a co-author of Fashion Management: A Strategic Approach and serves as the UK Chair of the PRME (Principles for Responsible Management Education) Fashion Taskforce. Natascha is also the recipient of the Mark Arthur Bright Award for her work on fashion and sustainability, and co-hosts the podcast Circular with Katie and Natascha. A few quotes to carry with you: "Power is about visibility—who gets seen, and how." "Sustainability without inclusion isn't sustainability." "We often want to be brave without being vulnerable. But the truth is, real change comes from both." "Sometimes we wear the uniform of leadership before we’ve earned the belonging." Transcript:For accessibility, a full transcript is available directly on the YouTube video page (https://youtu.be/pP_rKRFkDDM). #GenderEquityRebels #SustainableFashion #InclusionMatters #AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

10. 

    26 Aug 2025

    When Equal Isn’t Enough – with Emily

    In this final episode of the Gender Equity Rebels series, Cynthia Fortlage sits down with Emily Button-Ham, founder of Emily Button Coaching, to discuss the reality behind Pay Gap Day in the UK (15 November 2023). What begins as a conversation about the numbers quickly becomes something more deeply human. Emily shares her professional insights and personal reflections on what it means to navigate workplace systems that still undervalue women. The two discuss confidence, reconditioning, pay transparency, and the cumulative impact of inequity across a woman’s career journey. Cynthia adds powerful perspective from her own experience living and leading with two genders' worth of insight, making this a nuanced and emotionally resonant conversation. They explore why a 0.1% reduction in the gender pay gap is not progress—it's an indictment. And they highlight the emotional cost of inequity, especially when companies plateau at targets rather than pursue real culture change. Cynthia also reflects on the socialised ways women are conditioned to lead and how unlearning these patterns is part of reclaiming confidence and space. The episode closes with a reminder that asking questions and demanding more from ourselves and our workplaces is where real change begins. 🎧 Key Themes * The truth behind Pay Gap Day in the UK and Europe * Confidence, power, and the impact of gender socialisation * Why small tweaks can lead to big transformations * The tension between legislation and lived experience * The broken rung and the cost of early career inequity * Mentorship, maternity bias, and the ripple effect of awareness #GenderEquityRebels #PayGapDay #AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding 📄 TranscriptA full transcript is available on the YouTube video page (https://youtu.be/wbf2XqJvPes?feature=shared) to support accessibility. Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

11. 

    19 Aug 2025

    What If It’s Not Just PMS?

    🏳️🌈 Gender Rebel Series: Hormones, Health, and the Workplace Inclusion isn’t just about who’s in the room—it’s also about what’s understood once we get there. In this episode of Gender Equity Rebels, I sit down with Rachel Grewal, a startup leader and recruiter, to talk about something that impacts countless women and AFAB individuals in silence: PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder). Rachel shares the emotional and professional impact of PMDD—how it affects energy, mood, productivity, and leadership presence. We talk openly about the stigma around hormonal health, the silence in the workplace, and why it's time to bring these stories into inclusion conversations. This is one of the most honest, generous conversations I’ve had on the series. Near the end, I get a bit emotional, and I left that in. Because it’s real. These aren't just 'women’s issues.' They're leadership issues, organisational issues, and inclusion issues. 🎥 Watch on YouTube: What If It’s Not Just PMS? — Cynthia Fortlage & Rachel Grewal (https://youtu.be/L_VdA-Z8JjU?feature=shared) 📝 A full transcript is available in the YouTube video description. 💡 Highlights from our conversation: * The reality of PMDD and how it differs from PMS * How hormonal shifts affect workplace energy, confidence, and mental health * What Rachel wishes every manager knew * Her advice for women, non-binary folks, trans men, and allies navigating hormonal health * How inclusion can (and must) stretch to encompass reproductive wellbeing 💬 Reflection Prompt for Readers: Have you ever had to perform through pain or explain something invisible to be taken seriously? What would it take for your workplace to be brave enough to talk about menstrual and hormonal health with honesty and compassion? 🧭 Where to Find Rachel: Connect with Rachel Grewal on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelgrewal/) to follow her advocacy and work in the startup and talent space. #GenderRebel#InclusiveLeadership#HormonalHealth#AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

12. 

    14 Aug 2025

    Episode: Seeing in Full Colour – Men’s Mental Health, Privilege, and Mindfulness (with Dave James)

    Dave joins Cynthia to explore what men’s mental health looks like when we move beyond stoicism toward language, curiosity, and connection. Starting from teen years shaped by anger and loss, Dave traces a path through healthcare roles into speaking and coaching. Together, we unpack how hormones, health, and gendered expectations shape behaviour and safety, and why mindfulness helps leaders respond rather than react. We also look squarely at privilege. Dave explains how recognising his own advantages did not lead to guilt, but to responsibility and allyship. If you lead teams that include men, or you are a man who wants different outcomes, this conversation offers practical ways to build emotional vocabulary, stress tools, and cultures where results and belonging can both thrive. Key Takeaways Men often lack shared language for feelings. Leaders can model and teach simple emotional vocabulary at work. Mindfulness creates a pause between trigger and response. Dave uses Lazarus’s stress appraisal questions to decide what is truly stressful and what tools he has. Hormones and health influence behaviour and identity. Understanding the lived impact of treatments like hormone therapy builds empathy and better support. Safety is gendered. Cynthia reflects on learning new safety calculations after transitioning and how context reshapes comfort in spaces. Privilege is layered. Seeing it clearly is not about guilt. It is about responsibility, access, and choosing allyship in daily practice. Connection fuels resilience. Dave’s Happy Human pillars give leaders a simple framework: authenticity, purpose, choice, connection, and physiology. To find and support Dave's work; LinkedIn > https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamdavejames (https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamdavejames?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app) Instagram > https://www.instagram.com/iamdavejames (https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamdavejames?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app) YouTube > https://www.youtube.com/@Davethecoach (https://www.linkedin.com/in/iamdavejames?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app) Check out my TEDx “How mindfulness can help men” here (https://youtu.be/33BSLT_G3PE?si=ivt2ATqYFUvrw6jA). Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

13. 

    12 Aug 2025

    Strategy Is the Story

    Over the past few years, some of my most viewed posts have been the most personal. When I write about the messy middle of my life, people engage. When I share something raw or unresolved, the response is often overwhelming, and I’m grateful for it. But those moments aren’t the work. The work is the inclusion frameworks.The strategy.The metrics.The boardroom conversations.The mentoring that helps leaders build inclusive confidence.The quiet systems that make belonging feel possible, not performative. And that story? That’s the one I most want people to understand. This is the fourth and final video in this short reflection series. It’s about how personal stories connect us—but the strategic, systems-based story is what drives change. 📖 Transcript (for accessibility) Over the years, I’ve shared a lot of personal moments—stories from the “messy middle” of life and leadership. And those posts?They tend to resonate the most.They spark conversation.They’re relatable.And they’ve all had tens of thousands of views. But here’s what I want people to understand:My story is not my work. My work is inclusion as strategy.As business practice.As economic value.As leadership. And that story?The one about the models, the mentoring, the 24+ metrics, the deep systems thinking?That story often gets missed—because it doesn’t live on the surface. It’s quieter.It’s structured.It’s built over decades.But it’s what I bring into every boardroom, every leadership session, every cultural audit I support. That’s the story I’m most proud of. So yes, my life has shaped the work.But the work is its own story now. The one I want leaders to see.The one that makes inclusion not just possible—but practical. And as for my biography? Well…that’s a few years away.Unless someone else writes it first. 💬 Your Turn What’s the story beneath your story?The strategy you’ve been building all along—quietly, deliberately, maybe even without recognition? If you feel like sharing it, I’d love to hear what you’re proud of building, too. #StrategyIsTheStory#InclusiveLeadership#LeadershipInTheMessyMiddle#AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

14. 

    11 Aug 2025

    A Bold Conversation on Inclusion, Resilience, and the Future of Work

    When Abigail Wilmore of People Flow (https://wearepeopleflow.com) invited me to join her Monthly Mentoring Chat, I knew it would be more than a friendly catch-up. Abigail’s work with HR leaders and change-makers creates space for honest, practical conversations about the challenges and opportunities shaping our workplaces today. In this wide-ranging conversation, we dive into the topics that keep many of us awake at night—and fuel us to keep going in the morning: * How to lead with hope and resilience in uncertain times. * What designing for inclusion really looks like inside organisations. * Real-world examples of trans inclusion done well. * How HR can influence leaders even when DEI budgets are under threat. * The boldest visions for the future of inclusive workplaces—and what it will take to get there. We also explore the mindset shift I wish every leader could make, the biggest barriers holding organisations back, and the specific programmes and tools I’m using right now to help teams embed inclusion deeply into their culture. Whether you’re in HR, leading a team, or simply curious about what meaningful inclusion work looks like in 2025, this conversation offers both strategic insight and human connection. 🎥 Watch the full interview here:[YouTube link] (https://youtu.be/L6Ui8tHxG3c) You can also explore more of Abigail’s work and interviews at People Flow (https://wearepeopleflow.com). Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

15. 

    5 Aug 2025

    Seen for Me

    I’ve done a lot of interviews across podcasts, panels, articles, and keynotes. Each one offers a different reflection. But one in particular has stayed with me. My conversation with Neil Hudson-Basing on his podcast Pause. And Rewind… wasn’t about my identity. It wasn’t even really about the work. It was about me. Neil’s approach is gentle, thoughtful, and deeply human. His podcast invites guests to pause… and rewind—to tell the story behind the story. And that invitation? It hit me in a way I didn’t expect. Toward the end of this video, you’ll notice I get a little emotional. I chose to leave that in—because it’s real. I don’t always love doing videos without an audience. I connect with people, not the camera. But this moment needed to be shared as it was. This is the third video in this reflection series. It’s about the power of being seen not for your position or your narrative, but for who you are when the spotlight turns off. 📖 Transcript (for accessibility) I’ve done many interviews—across podcasts, panels, live talks, media articles.Each one meaningful in its own way. But the most intimate interview I’ve ever done?That was with Neil Hudson-Basing,on his podcast Pause. And Rewind… Neil’s whole concept is about stepping behind the public version of someone—and asking: who are you, really?Where did this all begin? When I was preparing for our recording,I listened to how he spoke with other guests.And I found myself in tears. Not because it was sad—but because it was so real. Neil creates the kind of space where you can tell the truth.Not the polished version. Not the branding. Just… you. And when we recorded our conversation,I didn’t cry, but I felt the emotion in my whole body. It was one of the only times I’ve been interviewednot about my identity,not about the work—but about me. Not who the world sees,but who I am when the mic turns off. And that…that stays with me. 💬 Your Turn Have you ever been seen—not for your output, or your role, or your identity—but simply for you? Not everyone gets that experience. But when we do, it changes something. I’d love to hear what moments of deep recognition have meant to you. #SeenAndHeard#InclusiveLeadership#LeadershipInTheMessyMiddle#AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

16. 

    29 Jul 2025

    Interpreting the Work

    Over the years, I’ve done dozens—possibly hundreds—of interviews, podcasts, and panels. Each one is its own little mirror. Sometimes it reflects my identity.Sometimes my leadership.Sometimes my advocacy.Sometimes my frameworks. And the more of them I do, the more I’ve come to realise something: Interpretation is part of impact.How someone sees the work is itself part of the work.And every version reveals something back to me—sometimes familiar, sometimes surprising. This short reflection is about what I’ve learned from being interpreted so many different ways—and how I hold space for all of them. 📖 Transcript (for accessibility) I’ve done dozens—maybe hundreds—of interviews, podcasts, and articles over the years. And what strikes me, more and more, is how each one reflects something different back to me. Some focus on identity.Some on personal story.Some on the technical side of inclusion.Some go deep into leadership or mentoring. And every single one is a form of interpretation. It’s intriguing—because the more of these I do,the more people are getting to know about me…but not always in the way I expect. They’re not just learning my identity.They’re offering their lens on the work.Their take on what I’m building. And that’s become part of the impact. Interpretation isn’t distortion—it’s dimension.It’s a mirror, sometimes foggy, sometimes clear.And once in a while… it’s sharp enough to reveal something I hadn’t even fully seen yet. 💬 Your Turn Has someone ever reflected your work back to you, and it surprised you?Did it feel accurate? Unexpected? Affirming? Misaligned? Interpretation is part of how we’re received—and it can shape how we grow.Let me know what it’s revealed to you. #InterpretationAsImpact#LeadershipInTheMessyMiddle#InclusiveLeadership#AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

17. 

    22 Jul 2025

    They Saw the Strategy

    Sometimes people focus on my story.My identity. My journey. And I understand why—it’s visible. It’s human. It’s real. But the work I do?The leadership strategy, the inclusion frameworks, and the economic models?That often lives beneath the surface. Recently, I read a forthcoming article for which I was interviewed—it won’t publish until later this summer.But when I read the draft, I felt something rare:They didn’t centre my identity.They saw the strategy. It’s not just a profile—it’s the most accurate articulation of what I actually do that I’ve seen in print. So before the article goes live, I wanted to mark the moment. This is the first in a short video reflection series about what it means to be seen—in the complexity, in the nuance, and in the work. 📖 Transcript (for accessibility) I’m used to people focusing on my story—my identity, my journey.And I understand why. That’s visible. That’s personal. But the work I do? The strategy? The leadership models, the systems thinking?That often stays beneath the surface. Recently, I read a forthcoming article I was interviewed for—it’ll be published later this summer—and for the first time in a long while… someone really saw the work. They talked about the 24+ metrics I use to help organisations measure inclusion.They named the models.They framed inclusion not as a side initiative, but as a business strategy. And honestly? That moment landed. Because it’s rare to feel seen not just for who you are—but for what you build. I’ll share the article once it’s live, but this moment felt worth sharing now. Being seen for the strategy behind the work? That’s a kind of recognition we don’t talk about enough.And it means a lot. 💬 Your Turn Have you ever had a moment where someone really got your work, not just your role, but your impact? I’d love to hear about it. You can share in the comments or reply directly if you’d prefer a quieter space. Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

18. 

    18 Jul 2025

    Internalised Misogyny, Allyship, and the Cost of Fitting In

    Welcome to the first official episode of Holding It Both Ways — a podcast about leadership, paradox, humanity, and strategy. In this opening conversation, Cynthia Fortlage and Katie Allen dig into the hard-to-name, often-unspoken realities that shape how women show up in leadership. Katie brings deep insight from her time in the male-dominated petrochemical industry, where she both challenged and conformed to workplace norms. She reflects on the internalised misogyny that shaped her leadership journey, the trade-offs she made to succeed, and the lingering impact those choices may have had on others. Cynthia shares her own story of being a poor ally before her transition and explores the emotional weight of learning how to truly listen. Together, they discuss how societal expectations and professional pressures often force women to overperform, adapt, or self-silence. Katie also speaks candidly about the idea of fitting in—a phrase that echoes Brené Brown’s insight from The Gifts of Imperfection: “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.” This is not a conversation about blame. It’s a conversation about becoming. And it invites each of us to reflect on the ways we’ve been shaped by systems—and how we might lead differently from here. 🎧 Key Themes * Internalised misogyny and its workplace impact * Navigating leadership in male-dominated industries * The paradox of belonging vs. authenticity * Allyship, listening, and lived experience * Pressure, perfectionism, and self-validation * Practical approaches to inclusive leadership #HoldingItBothWays #InclusiveLeadership #AcceptanceWithoutUnderstanding 📄 TranscriptTranscript available with the video on YouTube. Get full access to FORTLAGE Collective: Insights on Inclusive Leadership at fortlage.substack.com/subscribe (https://fortlage.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

Contact Holding It Both Ways

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.