Holding Patterns

About Holding Patterns

What if you’re not lost, just living in a part of the story no one talks about? Holding Patterns is a podcast about the in-between. The messy, undefined seasons of life where nothing quite makes sense. Hosted by Ashton Arnold, a deeply curious traveler who is carving out a life beyond the conventional path. Ashton leads guests through the kind of conversations that get honest, intimate, and are rooted in what it actually means to be human. This show is for people who’ve felt unsure, off-course, or like they’re making it up as they go. Each episode features a conversation with someone who has built a life outside the typical script, unpacking the moments where success felt out of reach. From travel and relationships to money and mental health, nothing’s off-limits. Holding Patterns is here to remind you that you’re not behind, you’re not alone, and you’re allowed to figure it out your own way.

Publisher

Ashton Arnold

Category

education · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

1 Apr 2026

Latest episode

14 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

14 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   14 Oct 2026

   14. Whose Life Are You Living? | Distinguishing Your Wants From Others Expectations

   Between traveling, being a little disconnected from Wi-Fi, and trying to be as present as possible with the people I love, this episode took a bit longer to make its way out into the world. But we are finally back and I am very excited to share this conversation with Moisés Kraft this week! Moisés and I met while studying abroad in Spain during COVID. Five years, a lot of life changes, and countless conversations later, we're sitting down to unpack a chapter of his life that took him from Peru to the US, from Texas back to Spain, and eventually into a holding pattern that forced him to confront some pretty uncomfortable truths about himself. Growing up in Peru with American parents, Moisés spent a lot of his life feeling caught between cultures, trying to figure out where he belonged and how to explain who he was to the people around him. When he moved to Texas after college, he found himself feeling more alone than ever, struggling with his identity, his community, and the regret of a decision he wished he could take back. Spain had always felt like a place where he could be more himself, so getting back there became the goal. But even when he finally made it, he found himself falling into the same patterns he'd been trying to escape: putting other people's needs first, compromising what he wanted, and hoping that a change of scenery would fix something deeper. In this conversation, we get into the expectations we inherit from our families and society, the decisions we make to make other people proud, and how easy it is to lose yourself while trying to build a life that looks right from the outside. We also talk about loneliness, learning to be comfortable with yourself, and the role that friendship and community play in getting through the harder chapters. Because sometimes getting out of a holding pattern isn't about finding the next place to go or the next version of yourself to become. It's about finally giving yourself the space to figure out what you actually want. In this episode, we talk about: Growing up between cultures and the lifelong question of where you belong The expectations we inherit from our families Moving to Texas, loneliness, and living with the regret of a decision Convincing ourselves that a new place, relationship, or chapter will fix everything Learning to sit with loneliness, find self-love, and become more comfortable in your own company How friendship and community can help us find our way back to ourselves _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)! Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

2. 

   9 Sept 2026

   13. The Holding Pattern Is the Tool | Know What You Want, Let Go of How You’ll Get There

   What if the Holding Pattern can help you get clear on what you want to build your life around? This week I'm joined by my friend Nelly Alger, who I met while living in New Zealand. We catch up on her second summer running a youth conservation crew in Denver, and then dive into the heart of this episode: her holding pattern after leaving New Zealand, and how she found her way out of it. Nelly's holding pattern came after a breakup, shoulder surgery, and moving back to the United States. Like a lot of us, she felt the pressure to figure out her whole life, to land on "the plan." But the thing that actually got her unstuck wasn't finding a dream career, it was getting honest about what she actually needed. The holding pattern wasn't something to escape, it was what forced that clarity in the first place. So instead of mapping out the exact path, Nelly built her life around what mattered: a home and a community in Denver. That foundation didn't make her feel stuck, it gave her the freedom to leave again. When an opportunity came along to live and work on a remote ranch in Patagonia for six months, guiding backpacking and horse packing trips with no roads in or out, she could step into the unknown without needing to know what came next. In this episode we talk about: Nelly's two rougher abroad experiences (Madrid and New Zealand) before Patagonia, and what made the third one different Why the holding pattern is something to use, not just survive How to hold onto what you want, even when you don't know how you'll get there What it's actually like living in a tent for six months The role privilege, health, and circumstance play in being able to live this way Reverse culture shock and technology detox Nelly's journaling practice and her four tips for starting your own _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)! Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

3. 

   26 Aug 2026

   The End Goal Isn't Happiness | Depression, the Pursuit of More & Finding Enough

   What if we’ve done ourselves a disservice by centering our whole lives around the pursuit of happiness? In episode 12, Joe Hutchinson and I explore what happens when the things we think will make us happy don't quite do the trick. We talk about depression, losing a sense of direction, constantly searching for what's next, and the pressure we put on ourselves to find the life that will finally make us feel fulfilled. Joe's life has taken him through more versions of himself than either of us could probably count—Navy diver, construction worker, bike park supervisor, medic, psychology student, sauna worker, husband, dad. In this episode, we talk about: Joe's unexpected path from Navy diver to where he is today What happens when the structure you've built your life around disappears Depression, asking for help, and learning that you don't have to figure everything out alone Why being good at hard things doesn't necessarily make uncertainty easier The tendency to keep chasing the next experience, achievement, or version of yourself Learning to be bad at things and becoming comfortable being a beginner Giving yourself permission to change your mind The difference between happiness and contentment What a “miracle life” actually looks like Finding meaning in the mundane Maybe a good life isn't about being happy all the time. Maybe it's about becoming content enough to stop needing something else to make it better. _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)! Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

4. 

   12 Aug 2026

   11. Try, Learn, Try Some More | Giving Yourself the Freedom to Choose Again

   What if our decisions were less about finding the “right” path and more about choosing what feels right for who we are today? In this episode of Holding Patterns, I sit down with my friend Michael Bortnowski to talk about what happens when we give ourselves permission to change course and trust that each chapter will give us something we need for the next. Mike has taken some pretty major turns. He left engineering school to pursue a life in the mountains, became an avalanche educator and guide, eventually left guiding, went back to school at 25, moved into management consulting, and most recently moved across the world to Australia. From the outside, these might look like completely different lives. But looking back, each chapter gave him a new perspective, lessons, and a better understanding of what mattered to him. In this episode, we chat about: The courage it takes to leave something that is objectively “good" The difference between failure and discovering something isn't right for you The value of curiosity How our values naturally change as we move through different stages of life The reality of turning passions professional The question: “If I had one year left, what would I regret most having not done?” Ultimately, Mike's story is a reminder that you don't have to know where every decision will lead. You just have to be willing to keep listening to yourself along the way. _______________________________________________ Taiye Selasi: Don't ask where I'm from, ask where I'm a local (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LYCKzpXEW6E) (TED Talk) Holding Patterns Instagram Here (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D)! Cover art by Remy Arnold Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

5. 

   22 Jul 2026

   10. The Cost of Constant Change | A Solo Episode on Anxiety & Letting an Identity Go

   For episode 10, I'm bringing you another solo episode. This isn't an episode about what I've learned, it's an episode about what it sounds like while I'm still learning it. It's a little messy and unpolished, because I'm still in the middle of this Holding Pattern, and I wanted to document it before I had all the answers. I spend a lot of time talking about anxiety; how it shows up in my life, when it tends to appear, and what changes when I stop asking, "How do I make this go away?" and start asking, "Why is it here?" From there, I dive into the specific Holding Pattern I'm currently in and how it feels different from the ones I've experienced before. This one is less about not knowing what's next and more about not recognizing who I'm becoming. To help make sense of it all, I reference Lawrence Yeo's article, Travel Is No Cure for the Mind (https://moretothat.com/travel-is-no-cure-for-the-mind/), and connect his "box" analogy to what I'm experiencing in my own life. It's a vulnerable episode, but my hope is that if you're feeling anything like I am right now, it helps you feel a little less alone in the uncertainty. Turns out it's a lot easier to interview people about their Holding Patterns than to share your own. But I guess that's what practicing what you preach looks like. _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

6. 

   1 Jul 2026

   9. The Process is the Point | A Master's Thesis on the In-Between

   This week’s guest is one of my best friends, Lexi Sullens. Lexi is a teacher, a two-time master's graduate, and someone who has spent the last several years building a life between Spain and the US. We met while studying abroad in Sevilla in the spring of 2021, and five years later, we're still finding our way through holding patterns together. This episode is a fun mix of sharing our friendship lore (including our Michelin restaurant dinner) and unpacking how Lexi’s master's thesis is basically the framework for Holding Patterns. Lexi shares what the past five years have looked like, from Fulbright rejection to teaching English through NALCAP, navigating a difficult year living alone while teaching at a boarding school, and completing two master's degrees. She also shares genuinely helpful insights for anyone curious about teaching abroad or looking for affordable paths to graduate school. We talk about the difference between linear and cyclical time, why uncertainty (not the waiting itself) is usually the hardest part, and how easy it is to mistake an in-between season for failure instead of seeing it as part of the process. Along the way, we get into what it actually costs to push through a difficult season just to prove you can, and the small, unglamorous things that help you make it through: a gratitude list, a scheduled call with a friend, a yoga mat you haven't unrolled in weeks. This conversation is about learning to trust the process when you can't yet see where it's leading, and choosing to be present instead of constantly chasing what's next. ______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

7. 

   17 Jun 2026

   Trying to Manufacture Certainty | A Perfectionist’s Guide to Coloring Outside the Lines

   This week, my friend Kate and I are talking about our obsession with certainty, and all the ways we try to create it when life refuses to give it to us. Kate is an Outward Bound instructor and middle school English teacher. Outside of her professional endeavors, she defines herself as an enthusiast of escaping into the wilderness and an advocate for earnestness. From chasing achievement and validation to planning our lives down to the smallest detail, it's easy to convince ourselves that if we can just figure out the "right" path, we'll finally feel settled. But what if the very thing we're searching for is keeping us stuck? We chat about perfectionism (eldest daughters, this one's for you), achievement as a source of self-worth, and how our surroundings shape what we believe success is supposed to look like. Along the way, we discuss following the energy of people who inspire us, how passion projects can turn into something real, and why the chaos we're often trying to avoid may actually contain the outcome we're hoping for. This conversation is really about the tension between competing desires, the voice that wants security and the voice that wants adventure, and how to decide which one gets the final say. And finally, a simple question: if your younger self could see the life you're building today, what would make them proud? _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

8. 

   3 Jun 2026

   A Life Built Around Leaving | Using Travel to Cope, Mental Health & Knowing When to Stay

   This episode is for anyone who has wondered what it actually means to live the "traveler" lifestyle for years at a time. Today, I have my friend Andi Borden on the podcast. She has spent the majority of her adulthood living a very nomadic life; many titles can be used to describe her: chef, baker, activist, tree-planting cook, shelter worker…honestly, the list goes on. She's someone who has truly lived a thousand lives, and this conversation reflects that. We get into all of it. How travel can start as a goal and slowly become the only coping mechanism you know. The way moving countries can silence depression and anxiety just long enough to keep going, until you finally have to stop and sit with it. What it feels like to belong everywhere and nowhere at the same time, and why the people who don't travel will never quite understand your life, and why you'll never quite understand theirs either. We also talk about the moment you realize you're tired. Not of travel, but of running. And what it actually looks like to choose to settle down when your whole identity has been built around leaving. This is one of my favorite conversations I've had on this podcast yet. If you've ever sat with that deep, 3 am kind of question…Am I doing the right thing? Am I running from something? Is any of this adding up to what I think it is? I think you’re going to get a lot out of this one. _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

9. 

   13 May 2026

   Confidence Before Competence | Solo Travel, Loneliness & Reinvention

   In this episode of Holding Patterns, I chat with my friend and fellow tour guide, Regan Fox, to talk about solo travel, loneliness, the excitement of uncertainty, and the strange beauty of not having life figured out. Regan shares the winding path that took her from studying environmental management in Florida to living in Bakersfield, California, traveling solo through Morocco and Europe, working seasonal jobs across the U.S., and eventually guiding trips through national parks. Together, we reflect on: Learning to be alone without feeling lonely Why uncertainty can become an opportunity instead of a fear The freedom (and chaos) of solo travel Seasonal work, transient lifestyles, and constantly starting over The pressure of “having a plan” in your 20s Finding peace in stability after years of movement Why confidence often comes before competence Trusting that every experience is shaping you into who you’re becoming _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

10. 

    29 Apr 2026

    The Heartbeat Analogy | Highs & Lows of Life Abroad

    In this episode of Holding Patterns, I sit down with Nico Iriondo, a friend I met while working at a ski resort in New Zealand. We have a really honest conversation about life abroad, identity, and what happens when you keep stepping into the unknown. Nico has spent the last six years traveling the world, visiting over 70 countries, and living through multiple versions of himself. From corporate marketing professional, to full-time backpacker, to someone now navigating what it looks like to return home and rebuild life again in Colombia. We discuss the tension between stability and freedom, and what it really means to leave one life behind for another. At the center of this episode is the heartbeat analogy from Episode 1. It is a reminder that life isn’t meant to be flat and predictable, but full of highs and lows that shape who we become. _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay _______________________________________________ (00:00) Welcome to Holding Patterns (01:31) Meet Nico (03:34) Family Roots and the Wake-Up Call (05:02) Motorcycle Trip Sparks Change (06:45) Booking the One Way Leap (08:36) The Impact of Fear (12:24) Hakuna Matata Omen (14:35) Backpacking Highs and Lows (16:21) The Heartbeat Analogy (21:33) COVID Pause and Corporate Return (22:40) Australian Working Holiday Visa (23:31) Second Leap Abroad (24:20) Backpacking Fatigue (25:44) Jumping into the Unknown Again (28:17) Corporate Comfort Trap (30:07) Life Is Short Wakeup (31:33) New Boxes to Check (33:28) Buying the Ticket (37:46) Friends Are Family (41:03) Reverse Culture Shock (42:50) Redefining Success (45:44) Advice to Younger Self (47:08) Goodbyes

11. 

    15 Apr 2026

    Let Go or Stay Stuck | Dealing with Rejection & Finding Community

    In this episode, I sit down with my friend Caroline Kane, whom I met in New Zealand, and she has been expanding my perspective and world ever since! From Fort Collins, Colorado, Caroline created a career path for herself within wildland fire. She has spent years moving between seasonal roles, including guiding, working on chainsaw crews and prescribed burns, often living in tents, working long seasons, and navigating the industry as one of the few women in the field. After a season in Colorado, she found herself in a holding pattern shaped by funding cuts and repeated grad school rejections. She was faced with uncertainty, fear, and the pressure of not knowing what would come next. What carried her through was community and learning to let go of the plan she thought she needed. Her story highlights the power of persistence, letting go of rigid expectations, and the community that can come from an unconventional path. _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

12. 

    1 Apr 2026

    Uncertainty Means Freedom | Trusting Yourself Through Fear

    In this episode, I sit down with one of my best friends and my favorite Argentinian, Madalen Azpeitia. We met working at a heli-ski lodge and later reunited in Nelson, BC. Madi shares her upbringing in a close, immigrant-rooted Argentinian family and strong cultural expectations to attend university and follow a conventional path. After studying international relations and then law, Madi’s holistic therapy work (including Reiki and family-tree-focused emotional work) helped her confront anxiety, build self-love, and close the chapter on pursuing a degree despite social pressure. We discuss her fear and loneliness before buying a one-way ticket to Spain in 2022, traveling through Portugal, securing a New Zealand working holiday visa, withdrawing a sponsorship application due to unhappiness, and moving to Canada in 2024. Madi reflects on high-quality relationships formed through travel, entering a new “in-between” while building a life with her partner, and celebrating uncertainty as a space for choice. _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

13. 

    1 Apr 2026

    Sometimes You Just Need Your Mom | Learning To Embrace New Beginnings

    In this episode, I speak with my roommate/soul sister/friend, Brittany Nutt, a registered massage therapist and energy worker who previously worked as a tree planter for 10 years. Britt shares her experience growing up in a small rural BC town as the youngest of three, shaped by financial stress and a strong sense of independence. She describes a difficult period after ending relationships, feeling isolated on Vancouver Island, and experiencing her deepest depression. She felt a need for major change, moved off the island to her mother’s home in the Okanagan, and spent a month in a “holding pattern” before starting a heli-ski lodge job in Bella Coola where we met. We discuss coping tools—movement, nutrition, therapy, and friendship—and how the experience strengthened her trust in inner knowing and life’s process. _______________________________________________ Britt's Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/brittnuttsy?igsh=MWkwM3hlMmliYjhraA==) Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

14. 

    1 Apr 2026

    The Seasons I Didn’t Plan For | A Solo Episode

    Welcome to Holding Patterns! This first episode of the podcast is a bit different than the rest - it's a solo one. I am diving into the origin of Holding Patterns and the motivation behind this creative endeavor. Additionally, I discuss feeling stuck after university, how relationships and conversations broadened my perspective, and a heartbeat analogy I learned from a friend in New Zealand about highs and lows as proof of being alive. I outline my background (Colorado, business school, Spain, NZ, Canada, tour guiding) and how studying abroad led me away from a traditional corporate path into travel and seasonal work. I describe major holding periods: losing plans to return to Spain, four difficult months at home, struggling for work in Canada, and I share coping tools, including journaling, leaning on friends/family, therapy, movement, and reflection, ending with Tara Mohr’s poem “The Rhythm.” (https://www.taramohr.com/inspirational-poetry/the-rhythm/) _______________________________________________ Holding Patterns Instagram Here! (https://www.instagram.com/holdingpatternspod?igsh=MXB1ajk3ZHhwdjYxMg%3D%3D) Cover art by Remy Arnold (https://www.instagram.com/remyarnoldxo?igsh=dWx3aWJsMmZheWNx) Music by penguinmusic - Better Day from Pixabay

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

17 ratings

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.