Holding the Fort Abroad is the podcast for expats with travelling partners. Discover how families find creative ways to maintain relationships when one partner/parent works away more frequently, whilst the non-travelling parent juggles responsibilities at home amid their own pursuits. Through deep and often humorous conversations, my guests - experienced expats, therapists and researchers share their wisdom with us all. Even without a travelling partner, you’ll find valuable gifts here for your life abroad. Find out more...
Holding the Fort Abroad
Claim This Podcastby Rhoda Bangerter
5.0(2 reviews)
102 episodes
Updated Daily
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Podcast Overview
Holding the Fort Abroad is the podcast for expats with travelling partners. Discover how families find creative ways to maintain relationships when one partner/parent works away more frequently, whilst the non-travelling parent juggles responsibilities at home amid their own pursuits. Through deep and often humorous conversations, my guests - experienced expats, therapists and researchers share their wisdom with us all. Even without a travelling partner, you’ll find valuable gifts here for your life abroad. Find out more...
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
4/20/2022
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Recent Episodes
July 27, 2026
#100 Supporting Travelling Staff and their Families Across the World - with Rhoda Bangerter
<h2><strong>Episode takeaways</strong></h2><p></p><p>What 100 conversations taught me:</p><p>According to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/AlexJSanfilippo/photos/every-month-i-release-a-public-podcasting-report-titled-podcasting-industry-repo/10174669806015188/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Alex Sanfilippo</a>'s Report, there is a 7.44% chance a podcast gets to 100 episodes. Thank you to all my guests and listeners. Holding the Fort Podcast has reached 100 episodes and I am so grateful.</p><p>This episode brings three observations that are really three future directions for this podcast and my work.</p><p>For those who listen regularly, please note that for the next 6 months, I will be posting 1x/month until December 2026 instead of 2x/month.</p><p><strong>Three Observations/Future Directions </strong></p><p><strong>1. Details change, Adapt to Context but Frameworks Remain </strong></p><ul><li>Details change:</li><li>expectations for example of the role of the father so this may change expected involvement when he travels</li><li>International Business Travellers may have slightly more control over schedule than rotation workers</li><li>A parent may be home 1x year vs a parent who comes back every weekend</li><li><u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/captivate-podcast/62-how-to-be-a-strong-family-when-miles-apart-with-rhoda-bangerter/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Episode 62</a></u>: The 5 Pillar Framework: Individual, Couple, Parenting, Transition, Risk Factor (emergencies & dangerous locations) I go through how you can use the Five Pillar framework if you are deciding on a split family assignment/non family duty station or if you are already frequently travelling for work.</li><li>Blog The One Family Framework - <u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/blog/a-3-step-strategy-guide-for-parents-living-apart/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">A 3-Step Strategy Guide for Parents Living Apart - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u></li></ul><br/><p><strong>2. Different Angles to Time Apart </strong></p><p>Time apart is never experienced in exactly the same way by everyone in the family. The travelling parent, the home-based parent, and each child occupy different positions within the family system, shaping what they notice, carry, and need. A travelling mum may experience more social stigma about leaving her children, a travelling father may feel increasing disconnection.</p><p>Focus for future episodes:</p><ul><li>home based mum (incl personal wellness, development, experience of transition, emergencies or dangerous locations)</li><li>home based dad (incl personal wellness, development, experience of transition emergencies or dangerous locations)</li><li>travelling dad (incl personal wellness, development, experience of transition, emergencies or dangerous locations)</li><li>travelling mum (incl personal wellness, development, experience of transition, emergencies or dangerous locations)</li><li>Children (young children, teens)</li><li>Couple relationships</li></ul><br/><p><strong>3. Organisational Support </strong></p><ul><li>The role of HR: is there relunctance of verbalising challenges - Maybe an organisation doesn’t want the families to want too much. Questions of where duty of care starts and where private sphere begins.</li><li>Strategic HR Prof Benjamin Bader Professor of International HRM and co-founder of MasteringGM® asks the question: <u><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/most-organizations-dont-actually-want-strategic-hr/id1860631363?i=1000776894865" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Do organisations want strategic HR?</a></u></li></ul><br/><p>“Challenge can feel uncomfortable yet challenge is often where strategic value emerges”</p><p>“Mobility sits at the crossroads of talent, cost, risk, compliance, employee experience and business growth”</p><ul><li><strong>These unaccompanied postings, Short Term Assignments, International Business Trips are where risk lies, where unnecessary costs lie, where employee experience and talent lies</strong>.</li><li>Studies have shown that conflict between work and family is negatively correlated to job satisfaction (Dorio et al., 2008) and can have detrimental effects on health (Greenhaus et al., 2006), specifically on stress and burnout. (Allen et al., 2000). Guttormsen (Guttormsen, 2018) points out the importance for sending organisations to know more about these assighments and their constraints in order to avoid mismanagement or difficulties in “sourcing talent”.</li><li>Do organisations track recruitment for these non family postings?</li><li>Is the organisation willing to look into these postings and staff demands and to test if intervention makes a positive difference? Are you tracking wellbeing? Do you really want to know about illness and FBT? Loneliness and non-family posting? More Work-Family Conflict? Or More Enrichment?</li><li>Do you want to track retention?</li><li>There are ways to support your employees that are not costly eg intranet (document for foreign services)</li><li>Perceived Organisational Support Increases Employee Commitment</li></ul><br/><p>Perceived Organizational Support (POS) is the extent to which employees believe their employer values their contributions and genuinely cares about their well-being. Perceived Organisational Support (POS) Theory shows the positive correlation between how the employee sees their employer as supportive of their well-being and their level of commitment to said organisation (Eisenberger et al., 1990; Eisenberger et al., 1986). Organisational support is also vital as demonstrated by Mutter on the stay behind family. (Mutter & Thorn, 2021)</p><p>Level of staff commitment was first measured via the Organisational Commitment Questionnaire (OCQ) (Mowday et al., 1979). Commitment is measured according to these three factors: “willingness to exert effort”, “desire to maintain membership in the organization”, and “acceptance of organizational values” which cover both staff behaviour and attitudes towards the organisation. Perceived Organisational Support is measured by the Survey of Perceived Organisational Support (SPOS) and measures how much the employee perceives the organisation would support them.</p><p>Real and Perceived Organisational Support (POS) towards the staff member and their family can be mutually beneficial. As the staff member perceives and experiences voluntary support from their employer, their commitment to that organisation is likely to increase. Absenteeism and turnover costs will likely decrease. (Eisenberger et al., 1986; Rhoades & Eisenberger, 2002)</p><p>Organisations may have financial compensation, hardship allowances or additional home trips in place. Beyond that, not many organisations have a coherent and explicit support policy. Staff are left to their own devices even as the job spills over into their family time and space and vice-versa.</p><p>Perceived Organisation Support makes a difference to employee recruitment, commitment, and retention. (Eisenberger et al., 1990; Ghosh & Ray, 2023; Nandasena & Rebecca, 2023). Even more so if perceived to be non-coerced but at the discretion of the company (Eisenberger et al., 2020)</p><p>Are your staff afraid of admitting to family challenges for fear of losing or putting their position in jeopardy? Importance to develop trust in support mechanisms.</p><p>Prof Kate Hutchings “Sophisticated technologies allow people to be able to connect even when they're in remote locations. But I don't think this should mean that organizations give up all responsibility for supporting people in a split family expatriate situation”</p><p>Do you know how many non family postings you have in your organisation? Who tracks travel? And has your organisation mapped absences and travel days? Do your staff do back to back travel?</p><p></p><p><strong>Contact Rhoda:</strong> <a href="mailto:rhoda@amulticulturallife.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">rhoda@amulticulturallife.com</a></p><p>Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. <a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/keep-in-touch/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Subscribe</a> to my newsletter.</p><p><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/book/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Buy the book: </a> Holding the Fort Abroad</p><p>Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone.</p><p>OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone.</p><p>You may be wondering:</p><ul><li>How can we be a family when we're miles apart?</li><li>Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise?</li></ul><br/><p>I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.</p>
July 13, 2026
#99 Moms who travel for work: Maximise the Benefits and Adjust to the Challenges - with Rhoda Bangerter
<h2><strong>Episode takeaways </strong></h2><p>Frequent Business Travel, International Business Travel often comes with the job, with higher responsibilities often comes need to travel, eg regional manager</p><p>Do you know a mom who travels for work? Are you a mom who travels for work?</p><p></p><p><strong>Maximise the Benefits </strong></p><ul><li>When mothers travel, families often become more adaptable: fathers take on more caregiving responsibilities, children develop greater independence, and mothers include breadwinning into motherhood as well as caregiving. Swenson (2016)</li><li>Role modeling for children</li><li>Time for self</li><li>Allows for fostering of other attachment bonds with grandparents, father for example</li></ul><br/><p>Reflection question: What positive opportunities does my work travel create for me, my children, and our family? How can I recognise and intentionally strengthen the ways my travelling role contributes to our family’s growth, resilience, independence, and connection?</p><p></p><p><strong>Adjust to Face the Challenges </strong></p><ul><li>Many mothers continue carrying the family's mental load while travelling, making it difficult to fully switch into work mode. Help shape a new resource about travelling without carrying the whole household in your head. Give your input (2 min) https://forms.gle/5CsPLFmQHMZTx2846</li><li><strong>Mäkelä et al. (2015)</strong> studied more than 1,300 Finnish frequent business travellers and found that an increase in international business travel days was associated with higher levels of work–family conflict among parents. While women with dependent children generally reported lower work–family conflict than comparable men, their work–family conflict also increased as the number of travel days rose.</li></ul><br/><p>Reflection Question: How many travel days can you comfortably manage before you begin to notice increased work–family conflict? What adjustments could help you stay below that threshold?</p><ul><li>Many moms who travel for work will have supportive husbands AND extended families who live nearby like parents/in laws. Bear this in mind when abroad. YOu may need to outsource more help.</li><li>Young children, attachment with newborns and toddlers. Worry about when to go back to travel after giving birth In <u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/captivate-podcast/25-being-a-mother-and-a-frequent-traveller-with-karina-lagarrigue/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#25 Being a Mother and a Frequent Traveller – with Karina Lagarrigue - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u> beginning at 30:43, Karina Lagarrigue and I discuss leaving children under 2 years old.</li><li>Criticisms from family or friends</li></ul><br/><p></p><p><strong>If criticism comes from family members</strong></p><p>"Can you tell me what concerns you most?"</p><p>This can reveal whether they're worried about the children, safety, or simply expressing traditional beliefs. It opens a conversation instead of an argument.</p><p>You can acknowledge the challenge without agreeing that travel is harmful.</p><p></p><p><strong>When you don't want to justify yourself</strong></p><p>"I appreciate your concern, but we're comfortable with the choices we've made as a family."</p><p></p><p><strong>Favourite Tips From Other Moms </strong></p><ul><li>One tip for young children</li></ul><br/><p>Lidia Lae Explaining even to an eight month old</p><p><u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/captivate-podcast/how-to-create-your-family-story-with-lidia-lae/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#58 How to create your family story even miles apart– with Lidia Lae - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u> Listen to the story Lidia Lae tells of explaining to her eight month old that she will be travelling for three weeks. The story begins at 21:29. Just before the story, she explains her daughter is now her 10 year old who says how much ‘she loves to be part of this family’.</p><ul><li>One ‘be careful’ tip for older children: beware of parentification. Check in with your children if, white you are away, they feel they need to take on responsibility that is not theirs to take.</li><li>One communication favourite:</li></ul><br/><p>Elizabeth Verwey shares her story of travelling for work. She shares a time when she went into her grown up son’s room and finds all the sticky notes she has ever left him, stuck to the back of his bedroom door. <u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/captivate-podcast/26-when-a-mother-travels-for-work-with-elizabeth-verwey/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#26 When a Mother Travels For Work – with Elizabeth Verwey - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u></p><p>Reflection question: What small, consistent practices help me stay connected with my children and partner while I am away, and what changes could I make to ensure my travel strengthens rather than strains our family relationships?</p><p>If you want to listen to two mothers discussing travel, this <u><a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/de/podcast/traveling-for-work-as-a-mom-guilt-control-letting-go-e34/id1792943209?i=1000769067553&l=en-GB" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">episode</a></u> is an honest conversation. One mother has a toddler and the other two children under 10. They both have supportive husbands and parents/in-laws nearby.</p><p>In conclusion, get that support network, get aligned with your choices.</p><p>‘As long as we are confident with the choices we have made and we are settled in what we want to do with our life. And we feel good because there is a lot of research that says that if you are at your best, if you are feeling well, if you have no doubts, if when you are present you're fully present, if when you are at work you're feeling okay, you are not burning out, you are enjoying life, this is the best example you can ever give to your children’ <u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/captivate-podcast/25-being-a-mother-and-a-frequent-traveller-with-karina-lagarrigue/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#25 Being a Mother and a Frequent Traveller – with Karina Lagarrigue - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u></p><p>Reflection question: Have I fully accepted that being a mum who travels for work is part of my story? Do I feel aligned with both my career ambitions and my role as a mother, or am I still carrying guilt, conflict, or pressure to choose one over the other?</p><p>What would greater alignment look like for me and my family?</p><p>“Greater alignment would mean feeling confident that my children know they are loved and prioritised, even when I travel. It would mean having clear routines for staying connected, making sure my partner and I are working as a team, and allowing myself to value my career without feeling guilty.”</p><p>Or:</p><p>“Greater alignment would mean that my work travel fits into our family life rather than constantly disrupting it. It would mean being intentional about the time we have together, creating rituals for when I leave and return, and recognising the positive example I am setting for my children.”</p><h3></h3><h3><strong>Ask what support looks like for her</strong></h3><p>Every travelling mother has a different reality. The best way to support a mother who travels for work is to ask</p><ul><li>“What part of your travel schedule feels hardest right now?”</li><li>“What would make the time you travel easier?”</li><li>“What do you find yourself carrying that others don’t see?”</li><li>“How can I help you stay connected with your family while you’re away?”</li></ul><br/><p>Ultimately, the greatest gift is helping her feel that she does not have to choose between being a committed mother and a committed professional — she can be supported in being both.</p><p></p><p><strong>Help Shape a New Resource for Travelling Parents </strong></p><p>I'm considering creating a free guide for mothers who travel for work about letting go of the mental load at home and travelling without carrying the whole household in your head.</p><p>I'd love your input: [Take the 1-minute survey]</p><p><a href="https://forms.gle/5CsPLFmQHMZTx2846" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://forms.gle/5CsPLFmQHMZTx2846</a></p><p></p><p><strong>Dads at home ‘holding the fort’: </strong></p><p><u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/captivate-podcast/33/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#33 Primary Care Giver: A Dad Speaks Out – with Patrick Kadian - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u></p><p><u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/captivate-podcast/life-as-holding-the-fort-dad-with-robert-h/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">#4: Life as Holding the Fort Dad – with Robert H - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u></p>
June 29, 2026
#98 Travelling Dads: Benefits, Challenges and Agency - with Rhoda Bangerter
<h2><strong>Episode takeaways </strong></h2><p>Frequent Business Travel, International Business Travel often comes with the job, with higher responsibilities often comes need to travel, eg regional manager</p><p>You may be leaving home for 3 weeks here or there, or 3 weeks a year. 90+/ year or 200+/year</p><p>If you are a frequent business traveller or have been one and have a story to tell, please contact me at <u><a href="mailto:rhoda@amulticulturallife.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">rhoda@amulticulturallife.com</a></u>. We can talk on or off the record.</p><p></p><p><strong>1.Benefits of Frequent Business Travel </strong></p><p>For traveller</p><ul><li>career satisfaction</li><li>career development and advancement</li><li>‘change, novelty and pleasure’</li><li>Creating global networks and benefits for the company in terms of knowledge transfer</li></ul><br/><p>For family</p><ul><li>More intentional times together,</li><li>Time to do pursue own projects</li></ul><br/><p>Reflection: What do you find as FBT benefits for you and for your family? </p><p></p><p><strong>2. Challenges</strong></p><ul><li>Couple challenges and marital strain</li><li>Parenting; guilt, loss of connection, role strain UN Dad story</li><li>ICAN model: Blog<strong> </strong><u><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/blog/distance-parenting-when-one-parent-travels/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Distance Parenting: How the ICAN Model Helps Families Stay Connected When One Parent Travels - Rhoda Bangerter</a></u></li><li><u><a href="https://www.netflix.com/ch-en/title/81901623" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Watch Being Gordon Ramsay | Netflix Official Site</a></u></li><li>He makes a point of being an involved dad when he is home. You see him playing with his younger children, doing the school run and ringing in from a rooftop for a wedding planning conversation with their eldest.</li><li>One of his adult daughters says "I know I can text him, call him any time"</li><li>It's hard to leave. As he prepares to go for 6 weeks, he acknowledges how much he is going to miss his family. "Being away from home is tough"</li><li>At one point his child says 'I'm going to miss you' and he replies 'me too'. It's a beautiful way of validating a child's feelings</li><li>They always involved their kids in what he was doing "instead of it being a totally separate life".</li></ul><br/><p>Reflection: A great question to ask ourselves is :'Are there ways we can involve our kids in our work?'</p><ul><li>Your body</li></ul><br/><p>Reflection: Have you thought about what frequent work travel is doing to your body?</p><p>For<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/all/?keywords=%23internationalbusinesstravellers&origin=HASH_TAG_FROM_FEED" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> #InternationalBusinessTravellers</a> (IBTs),<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/all/?keywords=%23frequentbusinesstravellers&origin=HASH_TAG_FROM_FEED" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> #FrequentBusinessTravellers</a> (FBTs),<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/all/?keywords=%23rotationalworkers&origin=HASH_TAG_FROM_FEED" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> #RotationalWorkers</a>,<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/all/?keywords=%23flexpatriates&origin=HASH_TAG_FROM_FEED" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> #Flexpatriates</a>, and anyone whose work regularly crosses borders,<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/all/?keywords=%23travel&origin=HASH_TAG_FROM_FEED" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> #travel</a> is part of daily life.</p><p></p><p>But it also creates a unique set of demands:</p><p>✈️ disrupted sleep and circadian rhythms</p><p>✈️ repeated time-zone changes</p><p>✈️ long periods sitting</p><p>✈️ irregular meals and routines</p><p>✈️ increased stress and reduced recovery time</p><p>✈️ exposure to unfamiliar environments</p><p>✈️ higher cumulative exposure to cosmic radiation at altitude</p><p></p><p>This isn't to scare anyone. It is to highlight the need to take a closer look at what impact frequent travel might have, keep track of its effects in order to put things in place that will mitigate them.</p><p></p><p>Many of my blogs, resources and podcast episodes are from the home-based parent's point of view, but as I am preparing an episode from the traveller's point of view, I have also come across<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/safety/go/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fsuperpower%2Ecom&urlhash=_0A-&mt=eJoT17d7ZsqQY1OJ_SlTJDu_8xM7PJTKh3tDReMEjTCot2tdaGA9f59vQhQBExDZKUKZbis7fB6MizRSHLno2YmT1E7xYPbPtZ4TJYih6DJlKEePkXEn1o6pDA&isSdui=true" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> https://superpower.com</a> They offer a yearly membership for 100+ biomarkers for prevention. A combination of AI and a team of doctors interpret markers such as;</p><p></p><p>🔺 inflammation and recovery</p><p>🔺 metabolic health</p><p>🔺 cardiovascular risk</p><p>🔺 nutrient levels</p><p>🔺 energy and resilience</p><p></p><p>All markers that can be affected by frequent travel.</p><p></p><p>For those of us who support<a href="https://www.linkedin.com/search/results/all/?keywords=%23globallymobileprofessionals&origin=HASH_TAG_FROM_FEED" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"> #globallymobileprofessionals</a> and families, perhaps we need to expand the conversation about mobility. It is not only about relocation support, cultural adaptation, and resilience. It is also about sustaining the person who is doing the travelling because a successful global career should not come at the expense of long-term health.</p><p></p><p><strong>3. You have more agency than you think</strong></p><p>You may have more agency than you realise in shaping how travel impacts you and your family.</p><ul><li>avoiding back-to-back trips where possible</li><li>travelling on a Monday rather than Sunday</li><li>protecting transition days</li><li>resisting the temptation to overload calendars before and after travel.</li></ul><br/><p></p><p>While organisational demands may limit flexibility, proactively managing the parts within your control can help create a more sustainable rhythm between work, travel, and life at home.</p><p></p><p>Reflection; How much leeway do you have? How much of the calendar is put in by you? </p><p>What can you do that would help? </p><p></p><p></p><p><strong>Contact Rhoda:</strong> <a href="mailto:rhoda@amulticulturallife.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">rhoda@amulticulturallife.com</a></p><p>Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. <a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/keep-in-touch/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Subscribe</a> to my newsletter.</p><p><a href="https://rhodabangerter.com/book/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Buy the book: </a> Holding the Fort Abroad</p><p>Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone.</p><p>OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone.</p><p>You may be wondering:</p><ul><li>How can we be a family when we're miles apart?</li><li>Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise?</li></ul><br/><p>I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.</p>
102 total episodes available with 1 transcripts
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