Honestly, We're Fine

About Honestly, We're Fine

Honestly, We’re Fine is a podcast about what happens after surviving a mass shooting. Hosted by Kristina Anderson, a Virginia Tech survivor, and Heather Martin, a Columbine survivor, the channel brings conversations that often happen privately among survivors into the open. Together with guests, they talk honestly about recovery, identity, relationships, media attention, advocacy, anniversaries, awkward questions, dark humor, and the complicated reality of moving forward.

Publisher

Kristina and Heather

Category

health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

28 Jul 2026

Latest episode

13 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

6 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   13 Oct 2026

   The Questions Survivors Hate Getting – ft. Missy Mendo, Columbine Survivor | Ep. 6

   We know from Heather what Columbine was like at the end of high school. But what if the shooting came just five months into your freshman year? In Episode 6 of HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin sit down with Columbine survivor Missy Mendo, Director of Community Outreach for The Rebels Project. Missy remembers surviving Columbine as a freshman, returning to a high school where ordinary teenage life suddenly existed under a microscope, and sometimes telling strangers she was from Utah just to avoid their “freak show” questions. She shares why becoming a mother brought old fears back to the surface, how she returned to therapy around the 20th anniversary, and what happened when the Uvalde shooting unfolded as she was filling out her daughter’s preschool paperwork. Missy also reflects on her daughter’s first lockdown drill, the limits of the therapy she received after Columbine, the lessons she now shares with newly impacted communities, and why she reminds survivors that “what if” is not a real time. Chapters 0:00 Cold open: Escaping Columbine at 14 01:22 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine 01:44 Meet Missy Mendo 02:51 Missy shares what happened at Columbine 04:40 Escaping the shooting and trying to call home 06:36 Finding out who was safe 09:43 Going back to school after Columbine 10:43 Split school days and parent door monitors 13:08 Missy had five months of a “normal” high school experience 14:10 Living under a microscope after Columbine 14:57 The senior food fight that became a sit-in 17:29 Looking back at the teachers who had to hold everyone together 19:31 Feeling “bubble wrapped” after the shooting 21:34 The “freak show questions” survivors get asked 23:56 Feeling guilty even when people were trying to help 25:12 The “man on the moon” response survivors hear 28:37 Deciding when to tell people she survived Columbine 30:30 Going back to Columbine for homecoming 31:16 How Sandy Hook affected Missy years later 33:16 Why she decided to help other survivors 34:31 Becoming a mother sent Missy back to therapy 36:13 Uvalde happens while she fills out preschool paperwork 38:15 Preparing for her daughter’s first lockdown drill 39:31 “Mom, the cops gave us lollipops” 40:46 What therapy looked like after Columbine in 1999 42:20 When your therapist has no trauma background 44:43 Returning to therapy 20 years later 46:01 What Missy tells newly impacted communities 48:07 “What if is not a real time” 50:43 When another school shooting happens close to home 52:55 Why talking with another survivor feels different 54:01 Kristina and Heather reflect on Missy’s story 55:23 Why the 20-year anniversary can hit differently 57:15 Recovery can improve and still be lifelong 58:10 “Trauma besties for life” Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

2. 

   22 Sept 2026

   Would You Go Back to Your School After Surviving a Shooting? | Ep. 5

   In Episode 5 of HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin talk about why peer support can matter so much after surviving mass violence. Heather reflects on graduating from Columbine immediately after the shooting and entering a world where few people understood what she had experienced, while Kristina explains why she chose to return to Virginia Tech even though campus was filled with reminders and triggers. They discuss the questions survivors frequently ask each other, from navigating media attention to finding the right therapist, and wrestle with whether there is ever a "right" choice between staying close to a survivor community and starting over somewhere new. Chapters 0:00 Cold open: Is it better to stay or leave after a shooting? 01:03 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine 01:24 Why Heather helped create The Rebels Project 02:45 Who can join a survivor peer-support community? 03:39 Why Columbine survivors wanted to support Aurora survivors 05:01 How The Rebels Project became a national network 06:42 The questions survivors only feel comfortable asking each other 08:25 Asking other survivors about therapy 10:45 Columbine’s Class of ’99: “The Lost Class” 12:43 Returning to Columbine ten years later 13:50 The other side of returning to the place where it happened 15:41 Why some students chose not to go back 16:05 Feeling like a survivor “on display” at a new school 16:53 Why Kristina returned to Virginia Tech 17:47 Community versus distance after a mass shooting 18:22 Does Kristina regret going back? 19:38 The daily reminders of returning to campus 19:57 Crying at a Virginia Tech football game 21:01 The two-hour bus ride to avoid Columbine 22:24 How Kristina decided to return to Virginia Tech 24:45 When not going back may be the right choice 25:43 There is no universally “better” path to recovery 27:28 Heather’s hypervigilance while testifying before Congress 31:45 How Heather feels about being called “The Lost Class” 33:34 Couldn’t we all be lost? Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/033UAuzNdZM5iHOPlLBI4j https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

3. 

   8 Sept 2026

   Why Feeling Invisible Became Her Trigger – ft. Sherrie Lawson, Navy Yard Survivor | Ep. 4

   "I walked away from everything." What happens when a mass shooting upends the life, career, and community you’ve spent decades building? In Episode 4 of HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin sit down with Washington Navy Yard shooting survivor Sherrie Lawson. Sherrie shares how surviving the 2013 shooting at age 39 forced her to rethink the career, community, relationships, and identity she had already established. She talks about reaching out for survivor support in the middle of the night, stepping away from the life she had built to focus on recovery, navigating dating while experiencing panic attacks, and discovering unexpected triggers in places like grocery stores and crowded bars. Sherrie also reflects on the different forms of therapy she has tried, the peer relationships that became instrumental to her healing, and the moment she decided that being a survivor could be part of her story without becoming her entire story. Chapters 0:00 Cold open: Deciding what life after trauma could look like 00:47 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine 01:12 Meet Sherrie Lawson 03:27 Surviving the Washington Navy Yard shooting 08:44 Escaping without her phone and letting people know she was safe 09:58 How Heather and Sherrie met 11:32 “I am desperate for help” 15:07 Finding survivor support less than a year after the shooting 19:09 “Do I belong here?” 20:40 When your shooting receives less attention than others 22:04 How the shooting disrupted the life Sherrie had built 25:39 Seeing her family for the first time after the shooting 27:48 Walking away from work, school, and public service to heal 29:24 Dating after surviving a mass shooting 30:30 When to tell a date you’re a survivor 31:49 Using disclosure to gauge someone’s empathy 32:11 Meeting the man she would marry 35:21 Learning what triggered her PTSD 36:28 Why grocery stores became difficult 37:00 “Do you not see me?” 38:11 Realizing that feeling invisible had become a trigger 39:15 Running out of a crowded Christmas market 41:22 Telling coworkers and students she’s a survivor 43:38 When being a survivor consumes your identity 45:06 Making survivorship part of your story, not the whole story 46:25 Searching for the right therapist 47:44 Moving from CBT to somatic therapy 48:10 EMDR, brainspotting, and exploring different treatments 48:46 What somatic therapy actually feels like 50:14 Sherrie’s experience with ketamine therapy 55:35 Talking to fellow survivors instead of journalists 55:58 “The Rebels Project was life-saving for me” 58:40 Kristina and Heather reflect on Sherrie’s recovery 59:52 How Heather and Sherrie ended up grocery shopping together 01:02:15 What they learned from Sherrie’s approach to therapy 01:02:49 Rebuilding after trauma as an established adult 01:04:18 Finding the courage to seek out survivor community Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ More on Sherrie Lawson at: https://www.sherrielawson.com Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason StefaniakEdited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

4. 

   25 Aug 2026

   Dating After Surviving a School Shooting Is… Complicated | Ep. 3

   What do first dates, McDonald’s, and the seat facing the door have to do with surviving a mass shooting? In Episode 3 of HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin talk about how trauma reshapes friendships, dating, marriage, and the way survivors explain themselves to people who weren't there. They reflect on the friends who could intuitively understand without explanation, the boyfriend who complained that Heather had “changed” after Columbine, and the pressure to prove to the outside world that trauma was serious enough. Kristina and Heather reflect on the everyday ways that surviving a mass shooting can follow you into a relationship, from deciding when to tell someone your story to needing the seat that faces the door in a crowded restaurant. Chapters 0:00 Cold open: Why survivors feel they have to prove their trauma 00:57 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine 01:29 How surviving mass violence changes relationships 05:08 Heather’s survivor friendships after Columbine 08:52 Kristina finds healing with other Virginia Tech survivors 10:49 Feeling alone even when surrounded by people 13:25 “You’re not the same person you were before” 15:21 Rumors, memory, and calling home from Columbine 18:21 Why survivors remember the same event differently 19:12 The dark humor of “Ain’t Got Time to Die” 20:40 Who gets included in the survivor circle? 23:40 Not believing you “count” as a survivor 25:17 Why survivors may need support decades later 29:27 Why social acknowledgment matters to recovery 30:22 Why survivors feel pressure to prove their trauma 33:21 Feeling like you have to justify being traumatized 36:16 What people are really asking when they ask about the shooter 40:04 Finding survivor peer support before social media 43:36 Why peer support can matter more later 45:43 Dating after surviving a school shooting 47:19 “How long can I go without telling him?” 52:44 The McDonald’s fight that was really about trauma 55:46 Why facing the door can matter 59:59 How trauma triggers change over time 01:04:13 The fire alarm that triggered a panic attack 01:08:00 Going to college with another Columbine survivor 01:09:22 When Columbine became classroom material 01:11:34 How a supportive partner learns your patterns Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast Website: https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

5. 

   11 Aug 2026

   She Was 6 When She Survived a School Shooting. No One Talked About It. | Ep. 2

   What happens when a school shooting becomes a community’s unspeakable, hidden secret, and the people who survived it spend decades without talking about what happened, even with one another? In episode two of HONESTLY, WE’RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin sit down with Shannon Hill, who was six years old during the 1988 shooting at Oakland Elementary School in Greenwood, South Carolina. Shannon describes returning to class three short days later in a community that barely acknowledged what happened, then spending decades trying to understand why it still affected her trauma and experience. She shares how becoming a mother led her into a years-long fight for safer schools, why she finally told her husband the full story 30 years later, and how survivor connection, therapy, and returning to the school helped her begin to process what she had lived through. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Shequila Bradley and Tequila Thomas, and in honor of all of the survivors and the Oakland Elementary School community. HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE is an ongoing podcast where survivors of mass violence discuss candidly with each other about the years and decades that follow — recovery, identity, relationships, media attention, advocacy, and the awkward, funny, complicated reality of moving forward. New episodes every other Tuesday. Content note This episode discusses school shootings, mass violence, trauma, media coverage, lockdowns, and long-term recovery. Chapters 0:00 Cold open: “I thought they would care” 00:51 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine 02:30 Meet Shannon Hill 03:39 A school shooting no one in the community talked about 04:33 Finding other survivors after decades alone 06:03 How Bruce Springsteen brought Shannon and Heather together 07:26 The power of adding a second survivor voice 09:43 How becoming a mother sparked Shannon’s advocacy 10:46 She walked into her daughter’s unlocked school 13:02 The community’s “dirty secret” 15:25 Back in class three days after the shooting 16:00 The survivors didn't know they could talk about it1 7:07 Asking other survivors, “Do you ever think about it?” 18:21 “You are normal, and you are not broken” 20:46 Why survivors push for prevention before tragedy 22:02 Telling the school board what happened at age six 24:40 Explaining the “crazy safety mom” to her children 25:35 Telling her husband the full story 30 years later 29:26 Discovering how trauma shaped her childhood 32:25 Asking for school shooting drills at age 13 35:24 The teacher who tried to stop the gunman 36:23 Reuniting with her teacher decades later 39:19 Battling anxiety attacks with… wasp spray? 41:57 A workplace safety training triggers a panic attack 45:27 The fear of being dismissed as “overreacting” 47:37 When a child asks what adults are afraid to ask 50:44 Realizing she had to help herself, too 54:07 Returning to Oakland Elementary 57:20 Making space for survivors who are not ready to talk 59:17 Wasp spray, hockey pucks, or bullet proof backpacks - sponsors anyone?01:01:23 The jokes survivors can only make with each other 01:05:48 Recovery is a lifelong process 01:06:54 Kristina and Heather reflect on the conversation Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast Website: https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

6. 

   28 Jul 2026

   How do you tell someone you survived a school shooting? | Ep. 1

   What happens when someone in your life discovers that you survived one of the most widely reported school shootings in U.S. history? In the first episode of HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE, hosts and trauma besties Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin talk about the complicated experience of telling people they are survivors. When do you share it? How much do you say? What questions do you wish you didn't have to answer? And how does it feel when someone Googles you before you have the chance to tell them yourself? HONESTLY, WE'RE FINE is an ongoing podcast where survivors of mass violence discuss candidly with each other about the years and decades that follow — recovery, identity, relationships, media attention, advocacy, and the awkward, funny, complicated reality of moving forward. New episodes every other Tuesday. Content note This episode discusses school shootings, mass violence, trauma, media coverage, lockdowns, and long-term recovery. It does not contain graphic descriptions of violence. Chapters 00:00 Welcome to Honestly, We’re Fine. 00:57 Title sequence 01:09 Meet Kristina and Heather 02:24 Coming out as a survivor 02:39 Dark humor, trauma, and the rules of the show 05:50 Why survivor-to-survivor conversations matter 06:39 How the “trauma besties” met 09:58 Their first experiences with the media 12:43 Wanting to be known, but not interrogated 15:29 The validation that changed Heather’s recovery 18:07 Sharing your story one “breadcrumb” at a time 22:00 When people do not realize they are talking to a survivor 23:29 Heather tells her students about Columbine 26:38 Advocating for school safety as a Columbine survivor 30:16 “Please don’t tell me you Googled me” 34:21 When being Googled feels thoughtful 35:34 What survivors expect from journalists 40:35 Who gets the A, B, or C version of your story? 43:14 Why anniversaries feel different every year 46:05 Protecting birthdays and making room for joy 47:43 Bringing private survivor conversations into the open 49:35 Why fellow survivor leaders need each other 53:44 Outro Join the conversation! Subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments. Please approach other viewers’ experiences with care and respect. Follow Honestly, We’re Fine. Instagram: instagram.com/honestlywerefinepodcast TikTok: tiktok.com/@honestlywerefinepodcast Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/033UAuzNdZM5iHOPlLBI4j Website: https://linktr.ee/honestlywerefinepodcast Learn more about the hosts’ work The Rebels Project https://www.therebelsproject.org/ Koshka Foundation for Safe Schools https://www.koshkafoundation.org/ Credits Hosted by Kristina Anderson Froling and Heather Martin Produced by Jason Stefaniak Edited by Jo Hernandez Thumbnails and Channel Management by Mauricio González-Aranda Social Media Coordination by Becky Palacios #HonestlyWereFine #SurvivorStories #traumarecovery #mentalhealth

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

3 ratings

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.