Hot Mess Magic

About Hot Mess Magic

You became someone to survive. To belong. To be loved. To keep the peace, keep it together, keep going. It worked, you’re here. But the identity you built to get through your life started running it. Hot Mess Magic is the conversation about the gap. Each week Michelle Burke sits with people willing to say the true thing out loud. Not the curated version. What’s underneath. The patterns mistaken for personality. The stories inherited before you could choose. The roles played so long they stopped feeling like roles. These are the conversations that usually stay private, about who you became, who you actually are, and the moment you realize the two no longer match. No steps. No homework. No one here to fix you. You were never broken. Just the clean cut of finally hearing it named. New episodes every Friday.

Publisher

Michelle Burke

Category

education · health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

17 Jun 2025

Latest episode

16 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

62 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   16 Oct 2026

   Why Am I Unhappy When I Have Everything I Wanted?

   Her marriage was ending. Her husband had been the breadwinner. She had no idea how she would support herself. And she felt peaceful. After years of trying to make their marriage fit, Ally Rose and her husband asked each other a question: Can we do this for the rest of our lives? Both said no. During a year and a half of living together while separated, they treated each other better than they had throughout their marriage. The pressure to be who they thought they should be was finally gone. But leaving wasn’t the end of the story. Ally went on to build a six-figure business, enter a loving relationship, and create a life she could once only imagine. Then, sitting at a silent retreat, another question surfaced: Why doesn’t this feel the way I thought it would? In this episode of Hot Mess Magic, Michelle Burke and Ally talk about wanting a life, getting it, and discovering how much of the wanting came from someone else. Her mother’s grief over never becoming a stay-at-home mom. The expectations of her Christian community. The online business world’s definition of success. Then Ally names where her need to achieve began: she and her brother were the only two Black kids in their town. Becoming the class vice president, cheerleading captain, and person everyone liked became her way of belonging. It worked. And she’s still living with the cost. What you’ll hear: Why ending a marriage could feel more peaceful than staying. The difference between sabotaging something you want and trying to leave something you’ve outgrown. How achievement became Ally’s way of fitting in, and why success hasn’t quieted the need to prove herself. Michelle’s year without goals and the reaction she got when she admitted it. Why knowing where a pattern began doesn’t mean you’ve stopped living it. Ally can explain her patterns. She helps other people understand theirs. She still catches herself waiting to earn the right to rest. What have you gotten everything you wanted from, only to realize you don’t want it anymore? Bring your answer to Hot Mess Magic | After the Episode. We’re still talking. KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING Join the Hot Mess Magic | After the Episode The conversation continues here. Click here Follow Hot Mess Magic Connect with Michelle IG - @michelleaburke (https://instagram.com/michelleaburke) Connect with Ally FB - https://www.facebook.com/theallyrose/ (https://www.facebook.com/theallyrose/) Resources Ally’s Book - The Divine Pause (https://www.amazon.com/Divine-Pause-invitation-recenter-reconnect/dp/1701871521/ref=sr_1_3?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.f-Z4ZuhGHyGSQNPl0E4mNaMc6DD3eOEdlzkYAAyd8Rv6hQajRdJDya-mNoJggRgYud744_BvxMO57GD6PfYRoUOVqmTbgHrUQh5G4jcvZXJ-fIIFYk7OHEpuSWsF6xQehv1zO7fgg4ABEr-qRYI2Lscr95ag6EXZEVDQkPmtCso9FIA2wpLeBEe9kjU9v4jxmMcLQQj7bfKxvE6Dbh6VwbRW6OS96Ts1txDb3iuxSyM.XlD-S5tmKQZoQJcg_KjdzRFO_klBKtV6vENcavoTfpU&dib_tag=se&keywords=ally+rose&qid=1791928686&refinements=p_n_feature_browse-bin%3A2656022011&rnid=618072011&sr=8-3) Unmasked - Learn More (https://hotmessmagicmedia.com/unmasked) Spot the Block - Spot it here (https://spottheblock.app/) HMM LOVES + RECOMMENDS Riverside Hot Mess Magic’s online recording studio https://riverside.sjv.io/hotmessmagic (https://riverside.sjv.io/hotmessmagic) Gloci Glow and Debloat. https://getgloci.com/MICHELLE-BURKE (https://getgloci.com/MICHELLE-BURKE) Micro Journey Live Life Vividly Use code MBURKE for 20% off https://themicrojourney.com/?ref=mburke (https://themicrojourney.com/?ref=mburke) Hostinger Build, run and grow your online business Get 20% off https://www.hostinger.com?REFERRALCODE=SUDMICHELLXD (https://www.hostinger.com?REFERRALCODE=SUDMICHELLXD) Some links may be affiliate links, meaning HMM may earn a commission if you purchase through them.

2. 

   7 Oct 2026

   When the Life You Built Stops Feeling Like You

   You can build a life you genuinely love and still wake up one day wondering where the fuck you went. The marriage. The kids. The career. The house. The responsibilities. The roles you chose and the ones you slowly became without realizing it. Nothing necessarily went wrong. But somewhere inside being the wife, the mother, the professional, the person everyone could count on, Brenda Ridgley realized something had disappeared: Brenda. And the strangest part? Her life looked great on paper. In this conversation, Brenda and I get into what happens when the roles that once gave your life meaning become so fused with your identity that you don't know who you are without them. We talk about the loneliness that can exist inside a full life, friendships built around proximity rather than real connection, the terror of realizing you need something to change when you have no fucking clue what comes next, and the unexpected decision that pulled Brenda out of the version of herself she'd been living for years. Because maybe the question isn't whether you're grateful for the life you've built. Maybe it's whether you still exist inside it. So here's the question: Who are you when you stop introducing yourself by the roles you play? Listen to the episode, then come tell us what came up for you inside Hot Mess Magic | After the Episode. KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING Join the Hot Mess Magic | After the Episode The conversation continues here. Click here Follow Hot Mess Magic Connect with Michelle IG - @michelleaburke (https://instagram.com/michelleaburke) Connect with Brenda IG - @brendaridgley Resources Mentioned Brenda's Book - Lady and the Tribe: How to Create Empowering Friendship Circles (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737289709?ascsubtag=srctok-864384c2098f4ad1&btn_type=pt&btn_ref=srctok-864384c2098f4ad1) Get it here on Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1737289709?ascsubtag=srctok-864384c2098f4ad1&btn_type=pt&btn_ref=srctok-864384c2098f4ad1) HMM LOVES + RECOMMENDS Riverside Hot Mess Magic’s online recording studio https://riverside.sjv.io/hotmessmagic (https://riverside.sjv.io/hotmessmagic) Micro Journey Live Life Vividly Use code MBURKE for 20% off https://themicrojourney.com/?ref=mburke (https://themicrojourney.com/?ref=mburke) Gloci Glow and Debloat. https://getgloci.com/MICHELLE-BURKE (https://getgloci.com/MICHELLE-BURKE) Hostinger Build, run and grow your online business Get 20% off https://www.hostinger.com?REFERRALCODE=SUDMICHELLXD (https://www.hostinger.com?REFERRALCODE=SUDMICHELLXD) Some links may be affiliate links, meaning HMM may earn a commission if you purchase through them.

3. 

   2 Oct 2026

   You Don’t Need Them to Believe You

   You can build a life everyone thinks makes perfect sense and still wake up one day thinking, what the fuck am I doing? Andrea Mancuso walked away from 14 years as a school psychologist, a six-figure salary, benefits, and summers off. From the outside, it looked reckless. From the inside, staying started to feel worse. Because sometimes the mess isn't the breakdown. Sometimes it's the moment you finally stop being the person everyone expects you to be. Andrea joins Michelle to talk about the identity she built, the career she outgrew, and what happened when she trusted something inside herself before she had proof it would work. Her story moves through panic attacks, entrepreneurship, self-trust, fear, dating, relationships, and the uncomfortable process of figuring out who you are after decades of becoming who you're supposed to be. Then Michelle takes the conversation somewhere even more uncomfortable: how much delusion do you actually need to build a life nobody else can see yet? Because self-trust sounds great when everything is working. It's a different fucking thing when you're questioning everything. And somewhere between leaving a career, trying speed dating while crying in your bedroom, building a business, and realizing you don't need everyone else to understand your vision, a bigger question starts to surface: What if the version of you who made perfect sense five years ago no longer fits? What you'll hear Walking away from a career everyone else thought she should keep The pandemic moment that forced Andrea to question her entire life Why self-trust gets harder when things aren't working The uncomfortable connection between identity, expectations, and success Michelle's take on the level of “delusion” required to hold a vision before evidence exists What happens when you stop needing other people to believe in your dream A very uncomfortable speed-dating story about fear, anxiety, and leaving the comfort zone Why midlife can expose identities we've spent decades building Selected timestamps 00:01 What if the mess is actually moving you somewhere? 02:30 Andrea's pandemic breaking point 13:28 Leaving the career everyone expected her to keep 24:26 The “batshit fucking crazy” level of belief 34:56 The speed-dating story 36:44 The identities we build over decades 54:50 When the life you built no longer makes sense The question Where in your life are you still protecting an identity you've already outgrown? KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING Follow Hot Mess Magic on Apple (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hot-mess-magic/id1823422607) & Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/6xg2a7w4BXSnIk6jFHDpe8) Join the Hot Mess Magic | After the Episode Click here (https://t.me/+hamV2XwQtcMwOGJh) Connect with Michelle IG - @michelleaburke (https://instagram.com/michelleaburke) Connect with Andrea IG @iamandreamancuso (https://www.instagram.com/iamandreamancuso/) Resources Mentioned Grab Andrea’s Book - The Space Between (https://www.amazon.com/Space-Between-Navigating-Journey-Success/dp/1637555008?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio) THIS EPISODE WAS POWERED BY Riverside Hot Mess Magic’s online recording studio https://riverside.sjv.io/hotmessmagic (https://riverside.sjv.io/hotmessmagic) Gloci Glow and Debloat. https://getgloci.com/MICHELLE-BURKE (https://getgloci.com/MICHELLE-BURKE) Micro Journey Live Life Vividly Use code MBURKE for 20% off https://themicrojourney.com/?ref=mburke (https://themicrojourney.com/?ref=mburke) Hostinger Build, run and grow your online business Get 20% off https://www.hostinger.com?REFERRALCODE=SUDMICHELLXD (https://www.hostinger.com?REFERRALCODE=SUDMICHELLXD) Some links may be affiliate links, meaning HMM may earn a commission if you purchase through them.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Spotify

5.0 / 5

9 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 57 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

96

Social presence

90

YouTube

0

Engagement

0

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