I Am Struggling: The podcast born out of complaints, anxiety, and vanity with a new focus every episode on things that I (Anna) am currently struggling with.
Welcome to episode 13: relapse. This episode is brought to you, by me, in the midst of a relapse. I'm normally pretty open and honest on this podcast, but it was interesting in this episode trying to communicate and reflect on where I'm at while being oh so very in it. Strong content warning for this episode and talking about eating disorders and treatment. Thank you always for your support, love to you all.
8 Nov 2021
Episode 13: Winter
Long time no see. I'm back with another all over the place episode about my struggles with winter. In this episode, I talk about my historic issues with winter, my current attempts to adapt to the dark and cold, and ramble on about all sorts of semi related topics. As always, thanks to all of you who tune in to listen to my long winded and circular thoughts. Didn't feel very cute, but probably won't delete later.
22 Aug 2021
Episode 12: My Eating Disorder
Howdy and welcome to episode 12 where I delve into the depths of my eating disorder. I came into this recording as scatterbrained as ever, and while I tried to follow some sort of chronological sequence of events, I certainly struggled with adhering to that. In this episode, I reflect on my journey of living through and attempting to recover from my restrictive eating disorder. I talk about the lives of the saints, questionable choices, ensuing chaos, treatment facilities, and where I'm at now. This episode ended up longer than I intended and frankly I still have more to say, so maybe we'll get a part two at some point. For now, I wish you the best of luck listening as I hop, skip, and leap around my story.
Content Warning: Explicit descriptions of eating disorder behaviors, treatment, self harm, suicide, death.
9 Aug 2021
Episode 11: Being Queer
Hey everyone and welcome to episode 11 where I am still recording by my lonesome, due to another case of me deciding to record on a complete whim. I actually recorded a whole episode on this topic and then decided I hated it so much that I immediately rerecorded it, and while I don't know if I fully love this episode, at least I'm not having a breakdown the entire time I'm talking on this one. As I'm sure anyone but myself could have foreseen, this topic brought up some big feelings that made my initial recording a little more vulnerable and angry than I was ready for. On this (rerecorded) episode, I dredge up some old childhood trauma and some old childhood crushes, and talk about my experience being a lil queer baby in a not so queer friendly space. I touch on my desire to touch on Lindsay Lohan, and recount my numerous 90s era wire rim glasses wearing girl crushes. I try to define my own queer identity, and I talk myself into circles. Shout out to everyone who helped me get where I am today, shout out to baby Anna who I wish could have seen the possibilities a long time ago, and shout out to all you listeners who turn up and turn out for the podcast, love u all!
23 Jul 2021
Episode 10: Movement
Hey all! So I know I promised to have my wife on episode 10 buuuuut I recorded this episode spur of the moment and at almost midnight so it's just me- I promise I will have company on the show ASAP! I am so tired (as you'll hear in the episode) so I don't have much to write, buckle up for yawning, fatigue, and the beginning and end of my handball career. TW: talk of exercise, eating disorders, ED treatment, and specific ED behaviors.
26 Jun 2021
Episode 9: Waxing Our Upper Lips
Hey everyone, exciting news...on today's podcast I am joined by my best friend, my queen, my wife, ASA!! (And also a special appearance from her much loved dumbass dog, Blair.) I have been wanting Asa on the show since it started and I'm so excited to finally have her here. On today's episode, we start off talking about struggling to wax our upper lips which then devolves into a multitude of other struggles we have experienced in our lives. In true Anna and Asa nature, we end up all over the place and keep forgetting how we got there. If you've ever wanted to hear the story of how we met, our sordid history with cars, or all about our questionable decision making you have come to the right place. Much love forever and always to my first wife, Asa!!
Content Warning: discussion of eating disorders, psychiatric hospitalization, suicide, bodily fluids, death.
17 Jun 2021
Episode 8: Consistency
Hello babes and bitches, guess who's back. After a five month depressive hiatus, your host is back and not better than ever. We're jumping right back in to struggling with today's episode where I update the listeners with my lifetime sob story as I try to dodge accountability for abandoning this project. I get realistic with the goals for this podcast which pretty much boils down to you get what you get and don't get upset. I touch on quitting, skating, and sobbing. Content warning (pretty much applicable to every episode): talk of death, suicide, and mental health. Thank you as always to my listeners, love you all lots!
15 Feb 2021
Bonus Episode: Valentine's Day
Well, well, well, guess who we got on the show before the tenth episode! Thank you to my beautiful valentine Adam for coming on the podcast to answer a list of Valentine's Day questions with me. I hope you enjoy this bonus episode, and we'll see Adam back for the tenth episode!
31 Jan 2021
Episode Seven: Birth Control
Today's episode is all about my struggles with birth control. I address why the heck there's been such a gap in between episodes, asking questions of deacons, wanting to join a nunnery, mortal sex sinning, switching from pills to an IUD, and how I'm not one to suffer in silence. CW: In this episode, I do mention marital rape in relation to a book that I read.
14 Jan 2021
Episode Six: Grief
The topic of today's episode is grief. As a heads up to listeners, this episode is a bit heavy. I discuss the impacts of different types of death, my big grief feelings, my number one grief counselor- Nora Roberts, Ben and Jerry's meltdowns, standing in a field at dusk when it's snowing, and struggling with perfectionism in grieving. I also read an excerpt from my recent book of poems, "Kitchen Sink Soup: Poems For the Grieving." Thank you as always to my listeners!
12 Jan 2021
Episode Five: Hair Dye
Welcome back to another episode of "I Am Struggling: The Podcast." We are blowing through episodes so that we can get to episode ten ASAP, where we have been promised a visit from a special guest! Today's episode includes me talking about why my world is crumbling to pieces (thanks to technology and insurance policies), some mathematical information about our future guest, how cool I used to be with my hot pink hair, a rundown of all of my questionable hair choices, some unsolicited hair advice, and a whole lot more. As always, thanks for listening!
11 Jan 2021
Episode Four: Telling People That They Are Hot
Today's episode is all about the struggle of telling people that they are hot. I talk about grandfather mullets, love at first hacky sack, mathlete romances, sexy skateboarders, beautiful baristas, my own vanity, and the desire to respect boundaries while showering others in praise. Thanks for listening!
10 Jan 2021
Episode Three: Smoking Cigarettes
On today's episode of "I Am Struggling: The Podcast" I discuss my crippling cigarette addiction. I explore the beginning of the end, fending off woodland coyotes, my Carrie Bradshaw jealousy complex, stealth smoking in the Nissan Sentra, how cigarettes smoked at treatment facilities just hit different, and a possible future episode entitled "Quitting Cigarettes." Thanks for tuning in!
9 Jan 2021
Episode Two: Fake Eyelashes
Today's episode features me trying to gain my podcasting sea legs as I tangentially rant about fake eyelashes. I discuss my own personal struggles with applying fake lashes, the experience of being a makeup test subject, fending off debt collectors, feeling like gum stuck on the bottom of a boot, getting caught up in the "hotness cycle," and questioning if we as people pursue hotness for ourselves or others.
9 Jan 2021
Episode One: Introduction
Hey everyone! Welcome to "I Am Struggling: The Podcast"- the podcast born out of complaints, anxiety, and vanity. In each episode I will explore a different topic based off of things that I am currently struggling with.
Today's episode is a little introduction about myself where I talk about being effortlessly painful, technological incompetence, not being able to pronounce my own last name, getting married (at the dump?!?), living in the wild west, and plans for future episodes.
I am so excited to be sharing this podcast with you, thanks for tuning in!
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