I'm Jenn - I'm neurotypical.
I'm Græme - I'm neurodivergent.
We're a couple that wants to talk to other couples about what makes a mixed neurotype relationship fun, frustrating, and f*-ing awesome.
We have no qualifications other than driving our struggle bus for two, so please take any advice with a ton of salt. We're here to entertain and help whoever is trying to get their arms around better understanding their partner so you aren't constantly saying, "I don't know what that means!"
Comedian and writer Sarah Silverman and neuroscientist Dr. Stuart Firestein chat about why sensory issues are a major pain point in our lives, revealing the surprising ways our brains process sensory information and how to cope with everyday annoyances like loud music and cold houses.
3 Jan 2025
Holidays Are Hard
Summary
In this holiday-themed episode, Jenn and Graeme discuss their complex feelings about various holidays, including Thanksgiving and Christmas. They explore the stress and obligations that come with family gatherings, the challenges of food choices, and the importance of traditions. The conversation also touches on New Year's resolutions and the pressure associated with them, ultimately reflecting on the significance of holidays in marking the passage of time.
27 Dec 2024
Meltdowns! (are a whole-ass thing)
We're talking about everyone's favorite autistic 'feature', meltdowns. Just losing our minds here.
Some links, as promised:
Meltdowns: a guide for all audiences (https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/meltdowns/all-audiences)
Meltdown vs. Shutdown (https://www.crossrivertherapy.com/autism/autism-meltdown-vs-shutdown)
11 Dec 2024
Bodies, ew!
Hosts discuss the complexities of neurodivergent bodies, highlighting the physical and emotional challenges faced by individuals with ADHD and autism, and emphasizing the importance of empathy and support.
21 Nov 2024
Vibe Check: we will be back to regular programming soon!
Hosts [Full Names] discuss life's challenges, from elections to COVID, and promise to return to regular programming soon, offering a much-needed respite for listeners.
25 Oct 2024
Halloween! 🎃
Some Shit We Said
"It's the most wonderful time of the year."
"I have always been obsessed with death."
"I cannot think of one single bad thing about Halloween."
12 Oct 2024
special interests are a whole ass thing
In this episode, the Jenn and Graeme visit the topic of special interests, particularly in the context of neurodivergence and autism. They discuss the nature of special interests, how they differ from hobbies, and the intensity with which individuals may engage with them. The conversation explores the role of compulsion, the phenomenon of info dumping, and the challenges of navigating conversations about special interests. They also touch on the impact of diagnosis on identity and the complexities of authority in relation to neurodivergent individuals.
Special interests can be seen as obsessions that bring joy.
The intensity of a special interest can take over one's life.
There is a distinction between hobbies and special interests based on engagement.
Info dumping is a common behavior among those with special interests.
Compulsion can be a significant aspect of special interests.
Navigating conversations about special interests requires sensitivity.
Special interests often reflect a person's identity and passions.
Diagnosis can provide validation for individuals with special interests.
Neurodivergent individuals may have unique relationships with authority figures.
Understanding special interests can foster better communication and connection.
4 Oct 2024
Communication - is Hard
Summary
In this episode, Jennifer and Graeme discuss the complexities of communication in neurodiverse relationships, focusing on directness, honesty, and the challenges of understanding subtext and nonverbal cues. They explore the importance of context in conversations, the impact of social contracts on communication, and the nuances of flirting and dating as neurodivergent individuals. The conversation emphasizes the need for clear communication and understanding in relationships, highlighting the unique experiences of neurodiverse individuals.
6 Sept 2024
Work is Hard
In this conversation, Graeme and Jennifer discuss the concept of masking in the workplace and how it affects neurodivergent individuals. They explore the need to present a different persona at work, the challenges of navigating office environments, and the importance of accommodations. They also touch on the role of communication styles and the impact of the work environment on productivity. Overall, the conversation highlights the unique experiences and struggles faced by neurodivergent individuals in the workplace.
30 Aug 2024
Time - is hard
Summary
In this conversation, Jennifer and Graeme discuss the concept of time and how it affects neurodivergent individuals, particularly those with ADHD. They explore the difficulties of chronic time blindness and the challenges it presents in relationships and daily life. Jennifer shares her personal experiences with forgetting birthdays and anniversaries, as well as the concept of waiting mode and the need to overestimate time for appointments. They also touch on the importance of understanding and accommodating neurodivergent individuals in relationships. Time blindness is a common experience for individuals with ADHD, leading to difficulties with punctuality and time management. People with ADHD often struggle with estimating how long tasks will take and have a distorted perception of time. This can result in chronic lateness or overcompensating by arriving excessively early. Future planning is also challenging for individuals with ADHD, as they struggle to conceptualize time and have difficulty setting long-term goals. Additionally, ADHD individuals may have a heightened awareness of their immediate environment and can be more present in the moment, but this can be accompanied by distractibility and difficulty focusing on tasks. Using timers and reminders can be helpful in managing time for individuals with ADHD.
23 Aug 2024
Food is whole ass thing
Summary
In this conversation, Jennifer and Graham discuss their relationship with food, particularly in the context of their neurodivergent traits. They talk about their different preferences and sensitivities to textures, flavors, and smells. Graeme shares their aversion to leftovers and the uncertainty they feel when ordering food at restaurants. They also discuss the challenges of cooking and eating together, as well as the impact of past relationships on their food-related issues.
Can you relate?
"I personally have a ton of difficulty with like squishy mushy foods."
"I hate boba tea. I hate jello. I hate anything that reminds me of boogers."
"Strong smells, flavors, things like that. So like any kind of strong sensory components to food can be really difficult."
16 Aug 2024
Birthdays, boo or best?
In this conversation, Jennifer and Graham discuss their differing views on birthdays. Jennifer shares her negative experiences and anxieties surrounding birthdays, while Graham expresses his love for celebrating them. They explore the societal expectations and pressures associated with birthdays, as well as the challenges of social interactions and food preferences. The conversation touches on neurodivergent traits, such as anxiety, overthinking, and difficulty with social contracts. Overall, the discussion highlights the complexity and personal nature of birthdays. Birthdays can be challenging for neurodivergent individuals, as they often involve social expectations, surprises, and gift-giving. Autistic individuals, in particular, may struggle with the pressure to react in a socially acceptable way to gifts that may not align with their specific interests or needs. The novelty aspect of ADHD can also make it difficult to maintain interest in gifts over time. Childhood experiences and past disappointments can further complicate the enjoyment of birthdays. However, with self-awareness and a focus on personal preferences, individuals can create meaningful and enjoyable birthday experiences.
2 Aug 2024
Travel is a Whole Ass Thing
Summary
Traveling can be stressful for anyone, not just neurodivergent individuals. The process of planning a trip and the uncertainty of it all can be overwhelming. Routine changes and disruptions can also cause anxiety. Differences in time zones, cultural norms, and even small things like gas grades can add to the sense of alienation. Jet lag and the need to readjust to previous routines upon returning home can also be challenging. Traveling can be challenging for neurodivergent individuals, especially when it comes to food and unfamiliar environments. The uncertainty and inconsistency of food can be stressful, and the need for routine and safe foods can limit culinary exploration. The process of going through airports and flying can also be overwhelming, with sensory issues, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts adding to the stress. However, stepping out of one's comfort zone and embracing the challenges of travel can lead to personal growth and new experiences. In this conversation, Jennifer discusses additional communication difficulties and the anxiety around bringing medication while traveling. She also talks about the stress of being in unfamiliar environments and the pressure to be respectful of other cultures. Jennifer shares her struggle with packing and making decisions about what to bring, as well as her anxiety about not having the right clothing for different weather conditions. Overall, the conversation highlights the anxiety and stress that can come with traveling, especially for someone with neurodivergent traits.
19 Jul 2024
Representation in Media
Summary:
In this conversation, Jenn and Graham discuss the importance of representation in media, specifically in relation to neurodivergent individuals. They highlight examples of both good and bad representation, such as Dustin Hoffman's portrayal of an autistic character in Rain Man. They also discuss characters like Captain Raymond Holt from Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Elizabeth Zott from Lessons in Chemistry, who are neurodivergent-coded but not explicitly labeled as such. The conversation delves into the double empathy problem, where neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals struggle to understand each other's perspectives and communication styles. The conversation explores the representation of neurodivergent characters in TV shows and the importance of authentic and diverse portrayals. The hosts discuss various shows, including 'Life and Beth', 'Bob's Burgers', and 'Extraordinary Attorney Woo', highlighting the strengths and weaknesses of their representation. They also delve into the challenges of communication in neurodivergent relationships and the need for understanding and empathy.
5 Jul 2024
Starting Things Is Hard
The title says it all! But we did it! Episode one we discuss how just getting started on things is hard for us in different ways.
4 Jul 2024
Introducing ourselves - Hi!
Welcome to I don't know What That Means, a double empathy podcast. We're going to talk about the ups, downs, and realities of relationships wherein one partner is neurotypical and the other is neurodivergent. Hi, I'm Jenn. I'm the neurotypical. And I'm Græme, the neurodivergent one: I'm autistic and ADHD, a combo that is often called auDHD. We met in 2020 and been together ever since. We thought it might be fun and informative to share our experience knowing there are other couples like us out there.
I also like to include what I call the Neurodivergent Standard Disclaimer: my experiences are my own and may not reflect those of any or every other neurodivergent person. Also, we're not professionals, so please don't consider anything we say to be medical or psychological advice. We are just talking about our own personal struggle bus for two. I, for one, don't know even a single thing. Okay, so let's get into I Don't Know What That Means.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
2 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
3 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 31 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
49
Social presence
0
YouTube
0
Engagement
32
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