If I Were the Devil: The War On Love Podcast

About If I Were the Devil: The War On Love Podcast

You know what God's Word says about you - but somewhere between your head and your heart, something gets lost. Welcome to If I Were the Devil: The War on Love — a podcast for Christian men and women navigating the real, often messy intersection of faith, inner healing, and relationships. Whether you're carrying wounds from relationship betrayal, battling shame and lies about yourself, or simply wondering why knowing the truth still doesn't make you feel free - you're in the right place. And you're not crazy for feeling that gap. There's actually a reason for it. I'm Danielle (I go by Dani) Lew therapist, certified professional coach, and someone who knows this territory from the inside. I met Jesus at 19, fell in love with Him and His love for me as a Father, Savior, God, and Friend. And yet, I still spent years struggling to break free from addictions and step fully into the Identity He called me into! What I didn't know was the integration between body, mind, and spiritual health and all are important! I didn't learn that at home, in church, or even in Graduate School! Though personal growth and pursuit of that my mind and nervous system needed to actually heal, not just learn more Scripture. That discovery changed everything. Today, after more than 20 years of sobriety and every form of healing I could get my hands on, I walk daily in genuine freedom — from anxiety, from shame, from waiting for the other shoe to drop — and I actually know and believe I am loved and safe with God. That freedom is available to you too. And this podcast exists to show you the way there. Each episode brings together neuroscience, Scripture, and hard-won personal experience to help you heal the wounds that keep you stuck — in your relationship with God, with yourself, and with the people you love most. We cover Christian inner healing, attachment wounds, nervous system healing, forgiveness, spiritual warfare, and the very real war the enemy wages on your ability to love and be loved. No spiritual bypassing. No easy answers. Just truth, tools, and someone who has walked this road walking it with you. 👉 Start with Episode 1 — the topics build on each other, and this journey is better from the beginning. Want to reach out? Send me an email to hello@rootedrefinedandrestored.com

Publisher

Danielle Lew, Jesus-lover, Wife, Mom, Therapist, Relationship Coach

Category

religion & spirituality

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

1 Feb 2026

Latest episode

15 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

51 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   15 Sept 2026

   END OF SEASON 1: God Still Speaks & He Delights in You

   Is God Still Speaking to You? A Season Finale on Rest, Busyness, and Hearing His Voice After 50 episodes, I'm closing out this season of If I Were the Devil: The War on Love. In this finale, I get personal about why: I'm starting a discipleship program at my church this week, and I'm choosing rest over burnout as I head into a season two and continue a rebrand. In this episode, I ask a question I think every listener needs to sit with: do you believe God is still talking to you? If you're hungry for Him, I believe you already know the answer, but there are real things that get in the way of hearing Him clearly. I read a piece I received as a forward back in the '90s, "The Devil's Convention," which imagines Satan's strategy for keeping Christians too busy and distracted to develop a real relationship with Jesus. Decades later, its warning about noise, overstimulation, and busyness feels more relevant than ever. I also share a personal story about finding a card with Zephaniah 3:17 while cleaning up after a church event, only to hear my pastor reference that exact verse the next day, and to find it again the following morning in my devotional. It's one of those moments that could easily be chalked up to coincidence, but I don't believe it is. I close the episode, and the season, in prayer for anyone struggling to hear from God, especially those carrying trauma that makes the "still small voice" hard to hear. In this episode: Why I'm closing out season one after 50 episodes The connection between this podcast and my church's discipleship program "The Devil's Convention": a 1990s forward on busyness and spiritual distraction A true story of hearing God through Zephaniah 3:17, three times in 24 hours Why I'm choosing rest instead of burnout before starting season two A closing prayer for anyone who feels distant from God Scriptures referenced: Mark 12:30-31 Zephaniah 3:17 1 Peter 5:7 Disclaimer:This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, medical advice, or pastoral care. The content shared reflects personal experiences, opinions, and faith perspectives, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any mental health condition. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or a trusted member of your community. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client or coaching relationship. About Danielle Lew and Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC:Danielle Lew is the founder of Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC, where she and her team bring lived experience alongside APSATS-certified, trauma-informed professional coach training and a master's-level clinical background to guide men, women, and couples through the wreckage of intimate betrayal. The team offers a clear roadmap and faith-rooted, trauma-informed support, meeting clients exactly where they are, no matter what the future of their relationship holds, so that what the enemy meant for their destruction, God uses to bring beauty for ashes. Learn more at www.rootedrefinedandrestored.com. Danielle also operates a therapy practice in Pennsylvania, Trinity Wellness Group. Learn more at www.trinitywellnessgroup.com where she offers therapy intensives for clients who want to do deep healing work from trauma, while integrating Biblical Truths into the work!

2. 

   8 Sept 2026

   Good Grief: Or Shame

   Good Grief: Or Shame Episode Summary This Labor Day episode takes the "If I Were the Devil" framework and applies it to grief. Danielle unpacks how the enemy waits for a grieving heart to be distracted and vulnerable, then uses the shoulda-coulda-woulda thinking of grief to plant shame, self-blame, and bitterness. She walks through the six stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and meaning, added later by David Kessler) and shows how each one can become an entry point for shame if it goes unnamed. Danielle is candid that grief is not sinful, that it is not linear, and that healing requires naming what is grief, what is fear, and what is shame so they can be untangled rather than left in a tangled knot. Key Points Covered The enemy's strategy: catching grieving hearts while they are distracted, since early grief is when God feels closest. Grief is any experience of loss, not only death. Loss of safety, a dream, or a relationship all count. The six stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and meaning. These are not linear; Danielle describes them as a tangled ball of yarn rather than a checklist. Bargaining and the shoulda-coulda-woulda spiral is where shame most often takes root, as the brain searches for a reason and lands on self-blame. Genesis 3 and the pattern of blame-shifting between Adam and Eve, and the call to own only what is truly ours. Grieving someone who has not died: estranged parents, a loved one in active addiction, or a relationship that has been cut off. Anger as a bodyguard emotion that protects more vulnerable pain underneath, and the idea that depression can be anger turned inward. Why unprocessed grief blocks forgiveness, and why the first question is often "have you grieved?" "Name it to tame it, feel it to heal it" as a practical approach to untangling grief, fear, and shame. Scripture Referenced Deuteronomy 6:5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and might. Mark 12:30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Genesis 3:16-19 The ground was cursed, and grief entered the human story. Genesis 6:6 The Lord regretted making man and was grieved in his heart. Psalm 73:21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered. Ephesians 4:30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. Mark 3:5 Jesus looked with anger and was grieved at their hardness of heart. John 11:35 Jesus wept. Psalm 30:5 Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Isaiah 53:3 A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. 1 Corinthians 15:52-57 Death is swallowed up in victory. A Note From Danielle If you have been shaming yourself for still grieving, or believing the lie that you should be over it by now, this episode is for you. Grief is not a sign of weak faith. It is part of how God designed the human heart to process loss in a broken world, and He grieves alongside us. Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute professional therapeutic, medical, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional or therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling with grief, trauma, or betrayal, please seek support from a licensed professional in your area. Connect rootedrefinedrestored.com  |  hello@rootedrefinedandrestored.com

3. 

   1 Sept 2026

   Shame: Back to School Edition

   Happy Monday, friends! I thought I had wrapped up my series on shame — and then this week happened. Between a practicum on family-of-origin patterns, several sessions where school-based shame emerged, cheering on a friend's daughter at a high school Volleyball game (yes, actually the very same gym where my daughter had to navigate terrible bullying and shame-inducing experiences with a Coach who gave off all the "you are a very bad girl and you need to know it" vibes, singling her out and then the gaslighting that followed when confronted about it! Thankfully she is no longer there, but too little too late for us!) ,and leading my men's Breaking Free From Shame group through a session on school-based shame, the theme showed up everywhere I turned. So here we are: one more episode, because I couldn't ignore the nudge. In this episode of If I Were the Devil, I read a lengthy modern-day "Screwtape" reflection on how the enemy uses the school system — budget cuts, cell phones, sports, body image, academic pressure, and parental wounds — to plant the earliest seeds of shame in kids. I share personal stories, including a coaching experience that derailed my son's high school years, and I break down the four (really eight) core needs every child is born needing: value and significance, connection and belonging, attachment, and safety and security. We also walk through the developmental stages where shame tends to take root — ages 5-10, middle school, high school, and beyond — and the core beliefs kids often walk away with: I don't belong. I'm not smart enough. There's something wrong with me. I'll never measure up. I'm not worth including. If you're a parent, a former kid who survived the lunchroom (weren't we all), or someone still carrying a core belief that got embedded in a classroom decades ago, this episode is for you. What You'll Hear In This Episode How shame patterns around "school" showed up across clients, my location on Monday, and a men's group study all in the same week & the reason for this episode- Ok, God, I hear you! <3 The full "If I Were the Devil" reading on how the enemy works through the school system The difference between shame and conviction — and why conviction is actually a gift A personal story about noticing my daughter's grades becoming tied to her worth, and how I gently interrupted it Two coaching experiences that became entry points for shame for my own kids The core needs every child is born with: value/significance, connection/belonging, attachment, and safety/security How shame develops differently at ages 5-10, middle school, high school, and beyond Common core beliefs formed in the classroom — and how to start unpartnering from them as adults Two scriptures to stand on: 1 Samuel 16:7 and Luke 12:6-7 Scriptures Referenced 1 Samuel 16:7 — "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Luke 12:6-7 — "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God... You are worth more than many sparrows." A Note Before You Listen This episode isn't about shaming parents or anyone who is seeking to show up and become the best we can be by naming where we might be and do better — myself included. If something in this episode stings a little, that's often conviction, not shame, and conviction is an invitation to give it to Him, ask for His help, and then turn it around, not a verdict on your worth! Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, medical advice, or pastoral care. The content shared reflects personal experiences, opinions, and faith perspectives, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any mental health condition. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or a trusted member of your community. Listening to this podcast does not create a

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Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

3 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

2 ratings