InFertility Stories

About InFertility Stories

Trying to conceive and going through infertility can feel like a private battle that tests our endurance. As the months and years pass, many feel isolated while they quietly grieve each cycle that ends without a positive test. Infertility is usually shared in hindsight, once the story has an ending. This podcast is different. It is a space for honest conversations about what it is like to be in infertility and how it shapes who we are. Hosted by two women who became friends through years of infertility and pregnancy loss, it is a place to share the challenges and emotions of this journey – while also exploring the insights and unexpected growth that come from walking it. Because, whether we want to or not, this is a season that changes us. This podcast is for those who are still going through it, not knowing how their story will unfold – or whether they will end up with a baby in their arms. These are the stories of being in it. infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Honest conversations about what it is like to go through infertility

Category

health & fitness · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

21 Mar 2026

Latest episode

5 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

16 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   5 Oct 2026

   15. "A break from the “What if?”” | What it’s like taking a break from trying to conceive (TTC) after loss and surgery

   When the thing you want most in the world is to have a baby, taking a break from trying to conceive can feel completely counter-intuitive. When infertility already feels like a race against time, choosing - or being forced - to pause can feel like losing even more of it. And yet, sometimes, a break is exactly where you find yourself. Right now, Miriam and Elise have both found themselves taking a break from trying to conceive — but for very different reasons. Elise is emotionally and physically recovering from her third miscarriage, while undergoing further testing in the hope of finding answers for her recurrent pregnancy loss. Meanwhile, Miriam is recovering from fertility surgery (endometriosis excision, myomectomy, and cystectomy) and has been told to pause trying to conceive for three months while her reproductive system heals. In this episode, Miriam and Elise catch up on what’s happened for both of them over the past few months, and explore what this unexpected pause has offered them. They talk about the emotional processing that can happen in the in-between — when you’re not actively trying, but you’re certainly not “done” either. What happens when the cycle of trying, waiting and wondering is temporarily put on hold? Does taking a break make the uncertainty easier, or harder? And what happens when the constant “What if?” finally gets a little quieter? In this episode, Miriam and Elise share: * What they’re both struggling with most right now — and what has become unexpectedly easier since taking a break from TTC. * The moment Elise realised she needed grief and trauma therapy, and the importance of getting support to process recurrent pregnancy loss and emergency surgery. * What it feels like to grapple with the passage of time when TTC is on pause — while life keeps moving forward, and anniversaries, milestones and everyday reminders continue to arrive. * The complicated acceptance that can come with being forced to step away from cycle after cycle of trying to conceive. * The unexpected mental peace that can come when you’re no longer living with the repeated “What if?” of every cycle. * What a break from TTC can give you — even when it’s not a break you would ever have chosen for yourself. The InFertility Stories Podcast is for people who are still in the middle of their trying-to-conceive journey — not knowing how it will end. These are honest conversations about what it’s really like to go through infertility: the uncertainty, the decisions, the hope, the frustration, and everything in between. If you’d like to share your story or chat with us about an episode, we’d love to hear from you. You can email us at infertilitystoriespodcast@gmail.com, send us a message on Substack, or DM @infertilitystoriespodcast on Instagram. Welcome to The InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

2. 

   21 Sept 2026

   14. “You're having surgery in two weeks” | Endometriosis Excision surgery, Myomectomy, and Cystectomy | Miriam’s Update

   Did you know that up to 50% of women with unexplained infertility have endometriosis? For Miriam, an “unexplained infertility” diagnosis eventually led to the discovery of stage two endometriosis — along with uterine fibroids and an ovarian cyst. In this episode, she shares the story of pursuing answers across both Canada and the USA, navigating two very different healthcare systems, and ultimately finding herself preparing for robot-assisted laparoscopic excision surgery — including a myomectomy and cystectomy — with just two weeks’ notice. From the shock of her MRI results to the unexpected turn of events that meant her surgery could still go ahead, Miriam takes us through what it was really like to prepare for, undergo, and recover from multiple procedures at once. She talks about the physical realities of recovery, the emotional and mental challenges of healing, and the practical things that helped make the experience more manageable. Whether you’re considering excision surgery yourself, have recently been diagnosed with endometriosis, or are trying to understand how endometriosis can intersect with fertility, Miriam’s story offers an honest and detailed look at an experience that can so often feel overwhelming and full of unknowns. In this episode Miriam shares * How she pursued an endometriosis diagnosis in both Canada and the USA – and how the process differed in the two different countries. * How she paid for her surgery and what the costs were like in the US private healthcare system. * The moment she found out her surgeon was leaving the hospital before she would be able to undergo surgery — and the lucky surprise that allowed her surgery to still go ahead. * How she prepared for surgery with just two weeks notice and everything that helped make the preparation and recovery period as smooth as possible. * What the experience of undergoing surgery was like as a patient, what the worst parts of recovery felt like, and how she coped with the mental battle of the healing process. * Tips and advice for recovery from endometriosis excision surgery including a list of what to buy in advance, how much time to take off work, and what kinds of support you’ll need in place post-surgery. Resources mentioned in this episode: * INSTAGRAM: Miriam’s tips for endometriosis surgery recovery (https://www.instagram.com/p/Ddi4K-ZFNXJ/?img_index=1) The InFertility Stories Podcast is for people who are still in the middle of their trying-to-conceive journey — not knowing how it will end. These are honest conversations about what it’s really like to go through infertility: the uncertainty, the decisions, the hope, the frustration, and everything in between. If you’d like to share your story or chat with us about an episode, we’d love to hear from you. You can email us at infertilitystoriespodcast@gmail.com, send us a message on Substack, or DM @infertilitystoriespodcast on Instagram. Welcome to The InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

3. 

   7 Sept 2026

   13. “Why me?” | What 52 women across 6 continents taught researcher Allison Gregg about infertility, self-blame and the medical system.

   Do you ever wonder why infertility is happening to you? If there was something you did wrong or something more that you could be doing? Or do you ever feel like the only way to get answers is to become your own fertility expert? Allison Gregg is a microbiologist and research scientist. After going through her own four-year infertility journey, she decided to train as a nutrition coach, and founded Flora & Fauna Nutrition. Wanting to know how she could best help other women going through infertility, she decided to interview women about their experience. After interviewing over 50 women across 6 continents, Allison came to a surprising conclusion. She realised that, regardless of their circumstances or where in the world they lived, women’s experiences of infertility were overwhelmingly similar. In today’s episode, Allison generously shares what themes came up in the interviews and what she has learned from her conversations with these women going through infertility. Her biggest conclusion? Even though you might feel lonely in your thoughts and experience, others feel exactly the same and you really are not alone in this. In this episode Allison shares * How she went through four years of infertility before she had her two children and all the ways her journey influences her life and work today. * Why she decided to interview other women about their experience and what it was like to hear the stories of so many women struggling with infertility. * Why women are forced to become their own medical experts and to do the research and emotional work themselves. * The heavy mental load of infertility and why so many women hide what they’re going through instead of asking for support. * The self blame that showed up in many of her interviews – and how Allison chose to reframe the question of “why me?” * Inequalities in access to care and how where you live can affect the quality of fertility care that you get. * Allison’s advice to anyone going through infertility right now. * The challenges of diet culture, information overload, and why “eat healthy” isn’t useful advice. * The nutrition coaching program Allison is building based on her research and how to join the founding cohort. Resources mentioned in this episode: * BOOK: Real Food for Fertility by Lily Nichols & Lisa Hendrickson-Jack * ONLINE & OFFLINE COMMUNITY: The Waiting Room (local chapters) Connect with Allison: * WEBSITE: florafaunanutrition.com (http://florafaunanutrition.com) * INSTAGRAM: @florafaunanutrition (https://www.instagram.com/florafaunanutrition/) * PROGRAM: the founding cohort starts September 28 2026. It’s a 8-week live, online group program with 1:1 coaching. There are still some spots open. Reach out to Allison by email or on Instagram to join. InFertility Stories is a podcast for people who are still in the middle of their trying-to-conceive journey — not knowing how it will end. These are honest conversations about what it’s really like to go through infertility: the uncertainty, the decisions, the hope, the frustration, and everything in between. If you’d like to share your story or chat with us about an episode, we’d love to hear from you. You can email us at infertilitystoriespodcast@gmail.com, send us a message on Substack, or DM @infertilitystoriespodcast (https://www.instagram.com/infertilitystoriespodcast/) on Instagram. Welcome to InFertility Stories. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

4. 

   24 Aug 2026

   12. "How much longer?" | 8.5 years TTC with PCOS, a declined adoption application, severe male factor infertility, and an ICSI loss | Miri's story

   Have you ever wished someone could just tell you how long it would take to get pregnant? That if you knew it would take three more rounds, or five more years, you could brace yourself and get through it — but instead you’re stuck not knowing if you’re near the end or barely at the beginning? If you have, this episode is for you. In this conversation, Miriam and Elise sit down with Miri to hear her infertility story in full. Miri has been trying to conceive for eight and a half years. She has PCOS, and was told by the NHS she needed to lose a significant amount of weight before she could access fertility treatment. She and her husband applied to adopt and were declined because of her chronic health conditions. When they finally reached a fertility clinic, they learned her PCOS wasn’t the only barrier after all — there was also significant, previously undiagnosed male factor infertility, making ICSI IVF their only option. She has done everything asked of her — the weight loss, the tests, the treatment — and she is still here, in the middle of it, not knowing how her story will unfold. This is not a story told in hindsight. This is what it feels like from the inside. In this episode, Miri talks about: * How it felt like her body was holding them back from having a family over and over again * Being diagnosed with endometriosis, and being told by the NHS she can’t have surgery until her family is “complete” * Applying to adopt, getting far into the process, and having that door shut — and why it was never meant to be a “backup plan” * The guilt of feeling like she was the reason they couldn’t have children * The shock of learning it wasn’t her PCOS that was the only barrier – and how undiagnosed male factor infertility made ICSI their only option to conceive * How discovering they were both quietly carrying infertility — not just her — brought them closer as a couple * Her first ICSI round: watching her follicle count drop from 35 down to one, the one egg that made it to blastocyst, the transfer, the waiting and the phone call that followed * Why she believes grief doesn’t need to meet a certain threshold to count * The hardest part of infertility: not knowing whether the end is close or years away * Why she started sharing her journey online after not seeing anyone who looked like her in the IVF community — and what that community has given her since * The Mother’s Day card from their embryo, and how they’ve chosen to honour and remember what they lost Resources mentioned in this episode: * BOOK: It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett Follow Miri * Instagram: @waitingforhope.ttc (https://www.instagram.com/waitingforhope.ttc/) * TIKTOK: @waitingforhope.ttc (https://www.tiktok.com/@waitingforhope.ttc) The InFertility Stories Podcast is for people who are still in the middle of their trying-to-conceive journey — not knowing how it will end. These are honest conversations about what it’s really like to go through infertility: the uncertainty, the decisions, the hope, the frustration, and everything in between. If you’d like to share your story or chat with us about an episode, we’d love to hear from you. You can email us at infertilitystoriespodcast@gmail.com, send us a message on Substack, or DM @infertilitystoriespodcast on Instagram. Welcome to The InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

5. 

   10 Aug 2026

   11. "Just Relax” | Can you control your fertility or should you just 'trust the process'?

   Infertility confronts you with the reality that some of the things you want most in life simply aren’t within your control. The timeline you imagined for growing your family changes. The future you pictured starts to feel uncertain. And when you’ve been trying to conceive for months or years, you have most likely been confronted with some version of the words: “Just relax.” “Give it time.” “It will happen.” But is that actually helpful advice? In this episode, we explore what infertility has taught us about control — what is within our control, what isn’t, and what happens when we try to control the things that ultimately can’t be controlled. We talk about the tension between taking action and letting go, and how difficult it can be to tell the difference between doing something that genuinely helps and doing something because we’re anxious about what might happen if we don’t. We ask: How do you know when taking action is helping you — and when it’s an attempt to control the uncontrollable? In this episode, we discuss: * Why being told to “just relax” for years can be actively harmful — and what it can mask. * How to identify what is within your control when it comes to infertility — and what is firmly outside of it. * The difference between taking action and having control. * Finding a balance between being proactive and hopeful without letting anxiety or avoidance take over. * How to navigate the decision to take a break, let the process unfold, or seek more answers, testing, or intervention. * What it can look like to accept uncertainty without feeling like you’re giving up. * A closing exercise to distinguish what's in your control, what isn't, and identify what you're actually most afraid of The InFertility Stories Podcast is for people who are still in the middle of their trying-to-conceive journey — not knowing how it will end. These are honest conversations about what it’s really like to go through infertility: the uncertainty, the decisions, the hope, the frustration, and everything in between. If you’d like to share your story or chat with us about an episode, we’d love to hear from you. You can email us at infertilitystoriespodcast@gmail.com, send us a message on Substack, or DM @infertilitystoriespodcast on Instagram. Welcome to The InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

6. 

   27 Jul 2026

   10. "Living in the future" | The hidden grief of time passing during infertility

   Have you ever caught yourself living in a future version of your life with a baby, instead of the life you’re living right now? Or realized you think of yourself as older than you actually are because so much of your energy is spent imagining the future? If so, this episode is for you. This week, Miriam and Elise explore one of the hardest and least talked about parts of trying to conceive: the relentless passage of time. When you’re facing infertility or pregnancy loss, every month, every birthday, every pregnancy announcement, and every holiday can feel like another reminder that life is moving forward while you’re still waiting. You’re told fertility declines with age, yet the very process of overcoming infertility often takes years. It’s a painful paradox that so many people experience but rarely talk about. Miriam and Elise also share what has helped them keep on living while they wait. From finally buying a doll’s house instead of saving it for “one day,” to marking the milestones in our journeys that we hoped we’d never reach, this conversation is about finding ways to live through the ongoing grief of infertility. In this episode, we discuss: * Why waiting for something deeply important is difficult — and how infertility magnifies that experience. * The paradox of the biological clock: being told time matters while infertility treatment can take years. * How pregnancy announcements, baby showers, gender reveals, birthdays, and other milestones become constant markers of time passing. * Why putting your life on hold can make the wait even more painful — and how choosing joy now can help break that cycle. * The difference between a painful reminder and an acknowledgement — and why feeling seen matters. * Why Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries can be some of the hardest days during infertility, and ways to acknowledge milestones that nobody wants to be counting. The InFertility Stories Podcast is for people still in the middle of their trying to conceive journey — not knowing how it will end. These are honest conversations about what it’s really like to go through infertility. If you’d like to share your story or chat about an episode, we’d love to hear from you. You can email us at infertilitystoriespodcast@gmail.com, send us a message on Substack, or DM @infertilitystoriespodcast on Instagram. Welcome to The InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

7. 

   13 Jul 2026

   9. "You're not broken" | A third loss, anger, and choosing joy first | Elise's update

   Almost a year to the day after her first positive pregnancy test, Elise saw another one. According to her cycle charts, this pregnancy’s due date would have landed just a day apart from her first. It felt full circle — like proof that this time, it would be alright. Over the previous year, she had already lived through an early miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, and the loss of a fallopian tube. This pregnancy brought new hope: it was supposed to be the one that finally worked out. Instead, on a weekend away with family, light spotting turned into bleeding — and because of her earlier ectopic pregnancy, what followed wasn’t a private loss at home, but two days in the hospital while doctors ruled out another ectopic pregnancy, watching her hormone levels hoping the numbers would go down. In this deeply honest update, Elise shares what it’s like to lose three pregnancies in a year, what it means when grief starts compounding instead of standing alone, and why she’s decided to stop pushing through and start choosing joy on purpose. In this episode, Elise shares: * Being admitted to the hospital as high-risk for another ectopic pregnancy, and what it’s like to hope for a hormone level to drop instead of rise. * Being surrounded — without asking for it — by a group of women who held her and cried with her without needing to know why, and why that moment of being witnessed mattered so much. * The emotional reality of recurrent loss, and how grief compounds rather than resets each time. * Moving from feeling personally targeted by suffering to recognizing it as part of the shared, universal experience of being human. * How anger, cynicism, and resentment became part of her grieving process — and how those intense emotions affected the way others responded to her. * Reaching burnout after months of infertility and loss — and why she's choosing to prioritize joy, creativity, and rest instead of pushing through. * The complicated reality of “taking a break” from trying to conceive, when the longing to become a parent never truly pauses. * Learning to manage her emotional energy and pace herself through the marathon of infertility and recurrent miscarriage. * The unexpected hope she found in learning more about her grandmother’s story. * A quiet moment of deep self-compassion after the arrival of a friend’s new baby — realizing what she felt wasn’t envy, but grief for the hard road her own story continued to take. Resources mentioned in this episode: Podcast: Everything Happens by Kate Bowler http://katebowler.com/podcasts/ (http://katebowler.com/podcasts/) If you’re living through infertility, pregnancy loss, or the uncertainty of an unfinished story, this conversation is for you. It offers an honest look at navigating grief while continuing to hope in the absence of any guarantees. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast, where we share the experience of living through infertility and pregnancy loss in real time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

8. 

   29 Jun 2026

   8. "Trust and Check" | Navigating doctors, invasive testing, (mis)diagnoses, and the medical system through infertility

   Have you ever found out that the answer to your infertility was sitting in your own medical file the entire time — it was just never mentioned or explained to you? Or felt exhausted by all the testing, poking and prodding by doctors without it leading anywhere? In this episode, Miriam and Elise go deep on what it actually takes to navigate the medical system while trying to conceive: the doctors who don’t listen, the diagnoses that get missed, and the slow, exhausting realisation that you have to become your own advocate and specialist. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about: * What it’s like to trust a doctor completely, only to find out months or years later that something important was missed or never mentioned — even though the information was already there * How medical language can feel cold or even weaponised when you’re already in an emotional, vulnerable state * The power dynamic between doctor and patient, and why the smallest comment from a doctor can stay with you for years * Why “unexplained infertility” can be one of the most psychologically damaging diagnoses to receive — and what it means to find the answers that were there all along * The difference between general practitioners and true specialists, and why not every endocrinologist or gynecologist knows what you assume they know * The toll of repeated invasive testing, and what it feels like when your body starts to resist procedures that are supposed to help you * Using tools like ChatGPT to help interpret medical results and prepare better questions for doctors — and why “trust and check” might be the most useful approach of all * Why navigating referrals, next steps, and the system itself can feel like its own full-time job, with no one laying out the path for you * Their key takeaways: advocating for yourself, getting support so you don’t carry it all alone, and making space for what you need outside of what a doctor alone can give you This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

9. 

   15 Jun 2026

   7. "What I was most afraid of" | The Plastic Detox, Mother’s Day, and Seeing Endometriosis and Adenomyosis on an MRI | Miriam’s Update

   Living through infertility is anything but static. One day, we feel hopeful, motivated, and inspired. The next, we can barely get out of bed. There are seemingly endless periods of waiting — for the next appointment, the next test result, the next treatment cycle. In those spaces between answers, it’s easy to fill in the blanks with our fears and worst-case scenarios. Then new information arrives, and once again we have to recalibrate, pivot, and find a way forward. In this personal update, Miriam shares what life with infertility has looked like over the past few months — from navigating Mother’s Day and making lifestyle changes to receiving the MRI results she feared the most, and facing the possibility of the new diagnoses of endometriosis and adenomyosis. In this episode, Miriam discusses: * How Netflix’s The Plastic Detox documentary changed the way she thinks about plastic — and what she’s choosing to wear because of it. * How Mother’s Day went from one of her most painful days of the year to one of her most meaningful — and what made the difference. * The anti-inflammatory diet she just started, why she chose it, and why it’s the first time in a long time she’s felt genuinely motivated to do something for her health and fertility. * Receiving the MRI results she feared most, including signs of deep infiltrating endometriosis and diffuse adenomyosis, and what those diagnoses mean for conception. * The frustration of spending years seeing doctors, undergoing two IUI cycles, and spending thousands of dollars — only to find a path to diagnosis through a Reddit forum and other women’s peer support. * How sewing a dress for a baby she may never have is helping her find moments of healing, creativity, and joy amid uncertainty. This podcast is for anyone living in the middle of an unfinished story — without answers, guarantees, or a clear path forward. These are the stories of navigating infertility while still in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

10. 

    1 Jun 2026

    6. "But What If I Am?" | The endless loop of the two-week wait

    Have you ever found yourself convinced you're pregnant one moment — and certain you're not the next? Have you ever gone to get an x-ray at the dentist, not sure how to answer the question of whether you’re pregnant? If you have, this episode is for you. The two-week wait — the 14 days between ovulation and your period — is one of the most universally recognised experiences of trying to conceive. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about why this window is so hard, what it does to your mind and body, and how they have each learned to get through it. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about: What the two-week wait actually is — and why for some people it isn't two weeks The Schrödinger's pregnancy: why during this phase you are simultaneously pregnant and not pregnant, and why your brain struggles to hold both as true at the same time Why the hardest part isn't the waiting itself but the total absence of anything you can do to influence the outcome Symptom confusion: why pregnancy symptoms and PMS symptoms are nearly identical, and how that uncertainty plays out cycle after cycle How physical symptoms after surgery or pregnancy loss can add an entirely new layer of fear to the luteal phase Progesterone supplementation during IUI and IVF: how it affects the two-week wait differently for different people — and why it isn't always a negative experience The internal dialogue that loops endlessly: but what if I am pregnant? / I'm probably not / but what if I am? Two opposite coping strategies — lowering your expectations vs. letting yourself dream — and why both can be valid depending on where you are in your journey The obsessive tracking spiral: checking your app, reading your temperature, trying to extract certainty from data you already put in yourself Practical strategies that have actually helped Years of quiet lifestyle restriction — no alcohol, no sauna, no caffeine — and how to find a balance that doesn't put your whole life on hold The partner gap: why the two-week wait lives so differently in the body of the person trying to get pregnant This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

11. 

    18 May 2026

    5. "I Just Let Myself Dream" | Missed miscarriage, neurodivergent burnout & building a joyful life anyway | Asha's story

    Have you ever experienced a loss and been unable to cry? Or felt like your life is stuck on pause due to infertility, struggling to feel like you are actually living?”? If you have, this interview is for you. In this week’s episode, Miriam and Elise sit down with Asha Harkness (she/her) to hear her infertility story in full. Asha has been trying to conceive for over three years and is a coach for people who are late-diagnosed autistic and ADHD. At 37, living in Hertfordshire, UK, Asha is navigating a complex landscape: a heartbreaking missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, a hormonal crash that triggered neurodivergent burnout (and her discovery of undiagnosed autism and ADHD), thyroid toxicosis, and a medical system that treats her body as a collection of symptoms rather than a whole person. Along the way she has learned something crucial: she can grieve the future she imagined while building a beautiful life right now. This is not a story told in hindsight. This is what it feels like from the inside. In this episode, Asha, Miriam and Elise talk about: * The 12-week scan that changed everything: what it feels like to hear “there’s no heartbeat” and discover you’ve had a missed miscarriage, something you didn’t know was even possible * Why she broke the “don’t tell anyone before 12 weeks” rule — and why she’s grateful she did * The three months after miscarriage when she couldn’t cry, couldn’t move off the sofa, couldn’t do basic things and how she realized it wasn’t depression, but autistic burnout * How discovering her undiagnosed autism and ADHD helped her understand the burnout: the sensory overwhelm, the hormonal crash, and the loss of every routine during a house move * The week she grieved all the dreams she didn’t know she had and what it meant to finally let herself cry * What “I just let myself dream” means: allowing herself to get excited, calculate due dates, knowing she’ll probably be disappointed and that that’s ok * How she went from doing everything “to be fit for pregnancy” to doing everything for herself — and how that shift changed everything * Why the medical system fails: they test her extensively but barely test her husband, they mention stress but don’t address it * The protocol she created for day one of her period — and how it helps her cope with another cycle of not getting pregnant * Where she is today: still hoping, still trying, but no longer putting her life on pause waiting for it to happen Resources mentioned in this episode: * PODCAST: The Maisie Hill Experience Podcast Episode 31 ‘Recovering from Pregnancy Loss’ and Episode 32 ‘Pregnancy Loss Q&A’ * NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY: Hack your Health: The Secrets of your gut * NETFLIX DOCUMENTARY: The Plastic Detox Follow Asha: * INSTAGRAM: @AUDHD_Coach_Asha (https://www.instagram.com/audhd_coach_asha/) * WEBSITE: https://www.indigoinclusion.com/ (https://www.indigoinclusion.com/) This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

12. 

    4 May 2026

    4. When everyone else is getting pregnant — except you

    Have you ever picked up the phone and braced yourself, convinced that whoever is calling is about to tell you they’re pregnant? Do you walk down the street feeling like there is a pregnant person or newborn baby on every corner? Are you afraid that someone will have a “little announcement” anytime you show up at a party? If you have, this episode is for you. When you’re going through infertility, other people’s pregnancies can feel like the hardest thing to navigate. Not because you don’t love the people in your life. But because every announcement is also a reminder of the thing you want most, the control you don’t have, and the growing distance between your life and everyone else’s. In this episode, Miriam and Elise go deep on a topic that almost everyone going through infertility will recognise: what it actually feels like when the people around you keep getting pregnant while you are still waiting. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about: * Why other people’s pregnancies can make your infertility feel more acute and why that has nothing to do with not being happy for them * The harder emotions that pregnancy announcements can bring up: envy, resentment, anger — and the feeling of guilt that follows * Why trying to protect yourself by looking away may actually make things harder, and what turning towards someone else’s pregnancy can give you instead * Elise’s strategy for asking the people closest to her to share their news in a way that gives her time to process before she has to respond * The difference between two things that can be true at the same time: I am so happy for you and I am so sad for myself * What friends and family can do that actually helps make pregnancy announcement easier — and the well-meaning things that don’t * Why women often feel pressure to show up fully for other people’s pregnancies even when they have nothing left to give and why it’s okay not to * Practical ways to feel, express, honour and move through the harder emotions, rather than suppressing or avoiding them This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to InFertility Stories. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

13. 

    20 Apr 2026

    3. The Invisibility of Infertility: Early miscarriage, two failed IUIs, & possible endometriosis | Miriam’s story

    Have you ever struggled with the invisibility of infertility? Of feeling a mismatch between how others perceive you and how you feel inside? If you’re navigating the identity challenges and the mental battle of infertility, then this week’s episode will resonate. In this conversation, Elise sits down with Miriam to hear her infertility story in full. Miriam has been trying to conceive for over two years, during which time she has experienced an early miscarriage and two failed IUIs. After exploring naturopathic treatments, acupuncture, and fertility testing, Miriam realised she may have undiagnosed endometriosis. This is not a story told in hindsight. This is what it feels like from the inside. In this episode, Miriam and Elise talk about: * The emotional fallout of delaying trying to conceive due to life circumstances. * How to navigate the uncertainty and mentally pace yourself when trying to conceive takes longer than it should. * Understanding your identity as a mother after a first pregnancy ends in loss. * Experiencing grief and pursuing treatment for depression when going through infertility. * The psychological impact of experiencing dismissive attitudes towards pregnancy loss and the invisibility of early miscarriage. * How trying to manage stress when trying to conceive can backfire. * Realising that ‘unexplained infertility’ might actually mean endometriosis, and deciding where to go from there. Resources mentioned in this episode: * BOOK: Taking charge of your fertility by Toni Weschler * BOOK: Period Power: Harness Your Hormones and Get Your Cycle Working For You by Maisie Hill * BOOK: It Starts with the Egg: How the Science of Egg Quality Can Help You Get Pregnant Naturally, Prevent Miscarriage, and Improve Your Odds in IVF by Rebecca Fett * FACEBOOK GROUP: Nancy’s Nook Endometriosis Education * BOOK: Heal Endo: An Anti-inflammatory Approach to Healing from Endometriosis by Katie Edmonds Find us on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/infertilitystoriespodcast/) and Substack (https://infertilitystories.substack.com/) This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of being in the midst of the unknown. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

14. 

    6 Apr 2026

    2. “Maybe I'm just exaggerating” | Elise's story: 3.5 years TTC with PCOS, Hashimoto's, miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy

    Have you ever sat in a doctor's office, or come home after a difficult appointment, and told yourself: it's probably not that bad. Maybe I'm overreacting. It was only early. If you have, this episode is for you. In this conversation, Miriam sits down with Elise to hear her infertility story in full. Elise has been trying to conceive for three and a half years. She has Hashimoto's disease, PCOS and insulin resistance. She has had two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of her left fallopian tube. She has done everything right — the tests, the lifestyle changes, the supplements, the specialists — and she is still here, in the middle of it, not knowing how her story will end. This is not a story told in hindsight. This is what it feels like from the inside. In this episode, Elise and Miriam talk about: - What it is like to start trying to conceive already knowing something is wrong with your body and how that shapes your hope from the very beginning - The confusion and loneliness of navigating a medical system where every doctor tells you something different, and none of them quite see you as a whole person - The moment Elise sat in an endocrinologist's office, crying, while the doctor didn't even look up — and what she decided at the bike parking station afterwards - What changed when she started working with a fertility coach, and why finding someone who looked at her as a complete person made all the difference - The emotional weight of doing everything right — the morning routines, the diet rules, the supplements — and still not getting the result you worked for - Her first pregnancy, her first miscarriage, and the strange mix of grief and unexpected gratitude that came with it - Her second pregnancy and the moment she knew something was wrong before she could explain why - What an ectopic pregnancy actually feels like to live through: weeks of bleeding, pain, uncertainty, two surgeries, and a medical system that kept sending her home - The experience of being told there is no sign of a baby here and why the words doctors use can either acknowledge or erase what you have been through - How she is learning, slowly and imperfectly, to ask for help, to receive support, and to trust the signals her body sends her - Where she is today: not hopeful, not hopeless but finding her way forward one cycle at a time Resources mentioned in this episode: - Fertility coach Nora Deborah: find her at Naturally Nora on Instagram and podcast - Real Food for Fertility by Lily Nichols and Lisa Hendrickson-Jack - The Worst Girl Gang Ever a community for women who are going through loss at every stage of pregnancy - Cycle tracking as a tool for understanding your body, pinpointing your fertile window and identifying potential health issues. Elise has been tracking her cycle for over eight years and teaches other women how to do the same Find us on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/infertilitystoriespodcast/) and Substack (https://infertilitystories.substack.com/) This podcast is for those who are still in it, not knowing how their story will unfold. These are the stories of women in the midst of infertility. Welcome to the InFertility Stories Podcast. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

15. 

    23 Mar 2026

    1. Being in it together: friendship through infertility

    In this first episode, we share why we started this podcast and how our friendship grew through years of trying to conceive, voice note by voice note. It began as a private conversation between us but became a space to be honest about the things that are hard to say out loud: the uncertainty, the grief, the hope, the loss, the anger and everything in between. We talk about what infertility means to us, how that continues to change over time, and why it matters to talk about it while you are still in it. As this experience is not static, we end the episode with a personal update on where we are at in our in/fertility journey as it is unfolding today. Some topics you’ll hear in this episode: - What it means to be “in it”: in the uncertainty, not knowing and “what if” thinking - Why we felt the need to create this podcast - How we met and built a friendship through infertility - Navigating hope, loss, and the emotional ups and downs If you liked this episode and would like to follow along, you can subscribe on Substack (https://infertilitystories.substack.com/) or follow us on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/infertilitystoriespodcast/). If you have a question or would like to share your story in a future episode, please reach out to us there. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

16. 

    21 Mar 2026

    Trailer

    Trying to conceive and going through infertility can feel like a private battle that tests our endurance. As the months and years pass, many feel isolated while they quietly grieve each cycle that ends without a positive test. Infertility is usually shared in hindsight, once the story has an ending. This podcast is different. It is a space for honest conversations about what it is like to be in infertility and how it shapes who we are. Hosted by two women who became friends through years of infertility and pregnancy loss, it is a place to share the challenges and emotions of this journey – while also exploring the insights and unexpected growth that come from walking it. Because, whether we want to or not, this is a season that changes us. This podcast is for those who are still going through it, not knowing how their story will unfold – or whether they will end up with a baby in their arms. These are the stories of being in it. Follow InFertility Stories on Substack at https://infertilitystories.substack.com/ (https://infertilitystories.substack.com/) or on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/infertilitystoriespodcast/ (https://www.instagram.com/infertilitystoriespodcast/) This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit infertilitystories.substack.com (https://infertilitystories.substack.com?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_1)

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

13 ratings

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Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

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