Do you want to get to the next level in your communication? To turn everyday moments into impactful and unforgettable change agents? The Influence Every Day Show is for you if you're ready to level up every relationship you have. Dr. Tori shares his expertise in influence, persuasion, rapport and behavior change each week - small tweaks to your day-to-day interactions that will influence for good. Follow along on Instagram @ed.tori
Influence Every Day
Claim This Podcastby Dr. Ed Tori
5.0(7 reviews)
71 episodes
Updated Daily
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52
Podcast Authority
BetaFairBased on show quality, social media presence, reviews, charts, and more
Quality80
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Engagement60
Podcast Overview
Do you want to get to the next level in your communication? To turn everyday moments into impactful and unforgettable change agents? The Influence Every Day Show is for you if you're ready to level up every relationship you have. Dr. Tori shares his expertise in influence, persuasion, rapport and behavior change each week - small tweaks to your day-to-day interactions that will influence for good. Follow along on Instagram @ed.tori
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
7/5/2022
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Recent Episodes
July 3, 2026
071 They Didn't Steal Your Idea - It Was Cryptomnesia
<h1 class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">071 They Didn't Steal Your Idea - It Was Cryptomnesia</h1> <h2 class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Tori</h2> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">Someone took credit for your work. Before you settle on a verdict, Dr. Tori has a confession - and a video from a fifth-grade play in the 1980s that dismantled his favorite origin story.</p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">It starts on the train to Georgetown. A distracted scroll lands Ed on a self-described body language expert quoting the famous "7-38-55 rule" (the claim that 93% of communication is nonverbal). If you've heard that statistic, here's what you may not have heard: it misreads Albert Mehrabian's 1967 studies (popularized through his 1971 book Silent Messages), which applied only to a narrow case — communications about feelings and attitudes, when words and tone conflict. Mehrabian himself has spent decades objecting to how the numbers are used.</p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">So Ed feels judgy. An expert should know better.</p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">Then he glances at his own open slide deck. The slide on screen reads: <strong>"Assume the best."</strong></p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">What follows is the self-audit that slide demanded - the story of Saleem's Dream, the children's book series Ed was certain he created from scratch (a boy dreams his organs testify against him in court), and the elementary school video that proved the idea had been planted in him thirty years earlier.</p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">The phenomenon is called <strong>cryptomnesia</strong>: the memory of an idea survives while the memory of its source decays... so borrowed ideas honestly feel like your own. The expert quoting Mehrabian's misused numbers, Ed quoting borrowed jokes as his own, and the colleague who just said your idea in the meeting are likely all running the same very human software.</p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal"><strong>In this episode:</strong></p> <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The Mehrabian myth: what the 7-38-55 rule actually measured, and why the researcher behind it says the popular version is wrong</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The slide that corrected its author: "Assume the best"</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Saleem's Dream, Zachary Dachary, and the fifth-grade video that revealed where the "original" idea came from</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Cryptomnesia, defined: content memory survives, source memory decays, and the idea resurfaces as yours</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">"You are a fraud" - the comedy-night moment Ed's wife caught every one of his jokes coming from Airplane and Steven Wright</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Rule 1 of the 7 Simple Rules of Influence, and where Dr. Tori first heard it</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Why we judge ourselves by our intent and others by their impact</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The takeaway: cite your sources where you can, and when the source decays - give each other some grace. And give yourself some, too.</li> </ul> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal"><strong>Quotable:</strong></p> <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">"The memory of the content is still there, but the memory of the source has decayed."</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">"They may not have taken your idea. They may have heard your idea... and experienced it as their own."</li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">"Give each other some grace. And give yourself some grace."</li> </ul> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal"><strong>Links & Resources:</strong></p> <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">How fluent are you at conversation? Take the quiz: <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://HypnoticGiftsQuiz.com">HypnoticGiftsQuiz.com</a></li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Work with Dr. Tori 1-on-1 - apply for an influence immersion: <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://www.drtori.com/coaching-application-1on1">DrTori.com/coaching-application-1on1</a></li> <li class="font-claude-response-body whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">More from Dr. Tori: <a class="underline underline underline-offset-2 decoration-1 decoration-current/40 hover:decoration-current focus:decoration-current" href="https://DrTori.com">DrTori.com</a></li> </ul> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal"> </p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal">The Influence Every Day podcast is free - we don't sell advertising space, so sharing this episode with someone who needs it is the best way to pay it back. Better yet, it's the best way to pay it forward. If today's episode landed, take a moment to rate and review the show. Now go forth and influence for good. Every day.</p>
April 29, 2026
070 Pizzeria Booth Leadership - Prospect and Refuge
<h3 class="text-text-100 mt-3 -mb-1 text-[1.125rem] font-bold">Episode 070 - Pizzeria Booth Leadership: Prospect and Refuge</h3> <p><strong>The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori</strong></p> <p> </p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]">Architects design spaces for two things — prospect, the ability to see what's coming, and refuge, the sense of being sheltered. Spaces that feel right have both. The ones that feel wrong are missing one. In this episode, Ed connects a childhood booth at Franzone's pizza place to Jay Appleton's 1975 theory and to a diagnostic you can use this week: when a hard one-on-one spins sideways, when a meeting feels unsafe, when a workshop drifts — you were probably missing prospect or refuge. Both can be designed in. Out loud, if necessary.</p> <p>Episode Timestamps (estimated)</p> <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>00:00</strong> - Family dinner. Dr. Tori and the seat in full view of all exits.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>00:50</strong> - Eddie's flashback to Franzone's. "I just want to see what's coming."</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>02:00</strong> - Jay Appleton, 1975. The Experience of Landscape and prospect-refuge theory.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>03:30</strong> - Why every high-stakes conversation needs both.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>05:00</strong> - The diagnostic: when one-on-ones spin sideways, you were missing one.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>06:30</strong> - Meetings that feel unsafe. Committees with no clear end in sight.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>07:30</strong> - How to open a workshop with both.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2"><strong>08:15</strong> - The architect's question: what's the experience of a conversation with you?</li> </ul> <p>Key Takeaways</p> <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Prospect is the ability to see what's coming. Refuge is the sense of security... not about to be ambushed.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Both are designed into spaces that feel right. Both can be designed into conversations.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">When a hard one-on-one goes sideways, you were probably missing one of the two.</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Refuge sounds like: "You are not in trouble." Prospect sounds like: "Here is where I think this is going to land."</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The same diagnostic works for parenting, coaching, meetings, and keynotes. Influence at every scale is, at the bottom, the design of a space someone has to inhabit while you say what you came to say.</li> </ul> <p>Resources Referenced</p> <ul class="[li_&]:mb-0 [li_&]:mt-1 [li_&]:gap-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [&:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3"> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Jay Appleton, The Experience of Landscape (1975) - the original prospect-refuge theory text</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">The Influence Every Day Show</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Listening Leader Quiz: https://listening.scoreapp.com</li> <li class="whitespace-normal break-words pl-2">Conversational Fluency Quiz: https://www.HypnoticGiftsQuiz.com </li> </ul> <p>Tags</p> <p class="font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]">#Influence #Communication #DifficultConversations #Leadership #PsychologicalSafety #ProspectAndRefuge #InfluenceEveryDay #SevenSimpleRules #CoreInfluenceFramework</p>
January 2, 2026
069 For Want of a Package
<h1 class="p1">Episode 069 For Want of a Package </h1> <h2 class="p1">The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori</h2> <p class="p1">A package arrived on my doorstep.</p> <p class="p1">Ordinary.</p> <p class="p1">Forgettable.</p> <p class="p1">Until it wasn’t.</p> <p class="p4">In this episode, I share a moment of unexpected awe triggered by something most of us barely notice anymore. A cardboard box. A doorbell. A delivery notification. What followed was a cascade of realization about just how many lives, skills, systems, and unseen acts of effort converge so that a single package can arrive at our door.</p> <p class="p4">I reflect on the old proverb often called For Want of a Nail, a centuries-old story about how the absence of one small thing can lead to catastrophic downstream consequences. From a missing nail, to a lost shoe, to a fallen kingdom. That story is usually told as a warning. This episode explores the opposite direction.</p> <p class="p4">What happens when a small, seemingly insignificant moment leads to massive positive outcomes?</p> <p class="p4">Holding that package, I trace the invisible web behind it. The driver who needed health, strength, and training. The truck that required parts, materials, and maintenance. The metal that required mines. The mines that required machines. The machines that required inventors. The inventors who needed teachers. The teachers who needed food. The farmers who needed sun, soil, rain, and forces far beyond human control.</p> <p class="p4">All of it so that I could click “add to cart” and open a box.</p> <p class="p1">...</p> <p class="p1">This episode is not a denial of the real problems that exist in global systems. Exploitation, environmental harm, corruption, and injustice are real and worth confronting. But that is not the path I take today. Today is about gratitude. About choosing to see the human effort that usually remains invisible. About honoring the thousands of small contributions that make modern life possible.</p> <p class="p1">I offer a direct thank you to the people behind the ideas, the funding, the design, the engineering, the manufacturing, the packing, the coding, the logistics, the driving, the maintenance, the teaching, the parenting, the farming, and the natural forces that sustain it all. This is a reminder that we never receive alone. We are always beneficiaries of lives we will never meet.</p> <p class="p1">Gratitude, in this framing, is not sentimentality. It is perspective. It is state management. It is leadership. And it is a practice that can transform an ordinary moment into a grounding reminder of our interdependence.</p> <p class="p1">This episode is an invitation to pause before the next package is opened. To see the invisible threads. To let gratitude recalibrate your state. And to remember that even the smallest things often carry the weight of the world behind them.</p> <p class="p1">If this episode resonated with you, consider who else might need the reminder. Share it. Pay it forward. And as always, go forth and influence for good... every day.</p>
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