Recorded the day before I left to get married. I talk about the paradox at the center of non-duality: thoughts, feelings, and actions arise on their own, yet the consequences of my choices are still mine. I also talk about using drugs to control how I felt, building a sober life around needing no one, and my eventual collapse at seven years sober.
In this episode:
- The paradox: no one is doing anything, and I'm responsible
- Why "what happens behind my eyes" is my territory
- Why I never understood marriage and what changed
- Addiction, recovery, and the need to control how I feel
- The fear of loss, impermanence, and saying goodbye
- The serenity prayer finally making sense
www.InsideTheMindsEye.com
00:00 There's nobody doing anything, and yet I'm responsible
02:06 My territory: what happens behind my eyes
02:32 Leaving to get married tomorrow
04:07 Why I never understood marriage
06:06 Would you love her if she never changed?
07:14 Never planning a life with people
08:00 Addiction: using so I'd be okay with or without anyone
08:41 Getting sober and building a life that needs no one
11:02 The bottom falls out at seven years sober
12:22 What scares me: loving people I can't control
13:30 Learning to accept that people come and go
15:16 Growing comfortable with things as they are
17:01 Your life is your business
17:39 The serenity prayer finally makes sense
18:55 Pulling up to work, headed to the wedding
24 Sept 2026
I Don't Have a Special Purpose | A Day in the Life
Most of my experience feels like floating awareness. There's a body, movements happen, thoughts and feelings come and go, but there's nobody really here. There's just what's happening. And inside of that, I play the games of father, partner, worker, and friend.
In this episode, I talk through an ordinary day to get some perspective on what I'm doing with my time.
www.InsideTheMindsEye.com
I check in on the Discord most mornings and share what's going on. Come hang: https://discord.gg/6fcu9PSdRJ
17 Sept 2026
Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret | Finding Your Aim w/ Peter Croonquist
A former professional golfer, shares how he rebuilt his life after years of inconsistency and sleepless nights.
Watch this Episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/z9Th2mIoDSw
Peter's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@CrooniesCorner
www.InsideTheMindsEye.com
Pain of Discipline MUSIC VIDEO!!! by Yoshi 2.0: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr6yKYnXpyU
CHAPTERS
00:00 Two Sons of Pro Athletes
01:17 Starting From Zero
03:59 Social Media, Lessons & Getting Back on the Course
06:06 Playing the Georgia Open
07:14 Why He Stopped Playing
09:23 It Had to Be Earned
10:04 Vision: One Day Like All Days
12:08 The Man I Needed to Become
13:01 Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired
16:04 Seeking Counsel & Finding His Aim
18:08 Discipline, Honesty, No More Conceding
19:56 Adam's 7:30pm Wake-Up Call
22:25 The Pain of Discipline vs. the Pain of Regret
23:56 What Finally Clicked: Aim & Action
25:52 Racing Mind, Sleepless Nights
28:59 The First Tournament Without Sleeping Pills
29:27 Nothing More Spiritual Than Constructive Action
30:22 Don't Make Decisions Out of Darkness
32:18 Rinse and Repeat: Constant Reinvention
33:09 The Navy SEAL Documentary
35:12 Men Are Competitive Creatures
39:10 The Locker Room as a Microcosm of Life
41:09 "There's This Animal in Me"
42:40 Being Small Helps No One
45:19 Get Back on the Dance Floor
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
YouTube views
86,702
Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
8 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
2 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 56 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
69
Social presence
0
YouTube
76
Engagement
32
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