May 11, 2026
My Mom Died, and I Didn’t Get to See Her in Peace: Grief, Reiki, Dowsing, and the Goodbye I Hoped Would Come Differently | Ep 736
<p>My Mom Died, and I Didn’t Get to See Her in Peace: Grief, Reiki, Dowsing, and the Goodbye I Hoped Would Come Differently</p><p>In this deeply personal episode, I share about the final days of my mom, Lorraine, who passed away on April 19, 2026, after a fast decline that only began some months earlier.</p><p>This is not an episode about death being perfectly peaceful or spiritually beautiful in the way we sometimes hope it will be. This is a reflection on what happens when dying is difficult to witness, when dying changes the way someone can communicate, and when the goodbye we long for does not come in the form we imagined.</p><p>In this episode, I share my experience and what helped me understand during and afterward. Some of this, I wish someone had told me about before I went into this experience. I had no idea what active dying could be like for someone. And it was shocking at first yet I did reach for many tools through this experience and still do. </p><p>My mom was funny, witty, smart, creative, and loved by many. She was also someone who carried deep emotional pain, anxiety, and patterns that shaped our family life. As a child, I learned early how much unhealed pain can affect a home, a nervous system, and a relationship. </p><p>A big part of my own healing has been learning tools, healthy boundaries, nervous system regulation, meditation, Reiki, Dowsing Energy practices, and how to love someone without disappearing inside their pain.</p><p>I hoped my mom would find peace before she died. I hoped she would experience relief after such a difficult life. But one of the hardest truths I had to sit with is that we cannot give someone healing, tools, or peace if they are not available to receive them. I didn't realize how much I hoped my Mom would find some peace before she passed until I was faced with the devastating reality that it wouldn't occur for her. It was heartbreaking to witness such pain right til the end. No one should have to endure a life of so much pain with scraps of joy and little peace. </p><p>I offered Reiki to my mom while she was alive, and again after she passed. The Reiki after her death felt very different: peaceful, quiet, and clear. My Guides helped me understand that after the body released, the distress of the nervous system was no longer in the way. Her Soul was easier to feel because the body was no longer transmitting pain, confusion, or fear.</p><p>This episode is for anyone who has witnessed a difficult death, anyone who did not get the goodbye they hoped for or the peace they wanted for a love one and anyone trying to hold both the human grief and the deeper Soul truth at the same time.</p><p><br></p><p>In this episode, I reflect on:</p><ul><li>💐Dementia, hospice, and the shock of witnessing active dying</li><li>💐Why the body’s distress may not reflect the full state of the Soul</li><li>💐What it means when the goodbye we wanted is not available</li><li>💐Loving someone whose emotional pain shaped the relationship</li><li>💐Reiki and Dowsing at the end of life</li><li>💐How to release responsibility for making someone else’s passage peaceful and how presence, witness, and love really is what matters</li></ul><p>I put the 💐flowers emoji because I am putting this up on Mother's Day and my Mom loved flowers. So may she be surround by love and flowers. On this Mother's Day and every day in this life, you are loved and thank you Mom. </p><p>May this episode bring comfort, support, and gentleness to anyone grieving a difficult goodbye.</p><p><br></p><p>With love, care, and gratitude,</p><p><br></p><p>Henri</p>