About Is It Autism or Trauma?: How to Tell the Difference Between Who You Are and What You Survived
You've spent time in therapy — maybe years of it — and something still doesn't add up. The labels never quite fit. The strategies never quite land. What if the reason is that no one could tell whether you were dealing with who you are, or what you survived?
Based on the book by Muriel Gabriela Harrington, this podcast lives in the place almost no one talks about: the overlap between autism and trauma. From the outside, they can look nearly identical — the same avoidance, the same hypervigilance, the same shutdowns, the same shaky sense of self. But they come from completely different places, and telling them apart changes everything about what actually helps. Episode by episode, we work through the real differences — two nervous systems, two stories — using clear explanations and contrasting real-world cases, so you can start to recognize your own experience with honesty and self-compassion.
Warm, plain-spoken, and neurodivergent-affirming, each episode turns one chapter of the book into a conversation you can actually use — no clinical coldness, no jargon for its own sake. This is Book Series 2 of 8 in the Tell Them Apart collection. Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4vYPz1x (https://amzn.to/4vYPz1x)
Please note: this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or diagnostic care. Artificial intelligence (AI) was used in the production of this podcast. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
If you've been misdiagnosed, dismissed, or
told the wrong story about yourself for years - this episode is for you. We look at
why the autism-or-trauma question gets answered wrongly so often: bias in who gets
diagnosed, assessment tools that were never built for women and gender-diverse
adults, and the ways even a careful, experienced professional can still miss it.
Two contrasting cases show how it happens - and why getting it wrong is a system
problem, not a personal failing.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4vYPz1x (https://amzn.to/4vYPz1x)
1 Aug 2026
How Autism and Trauma Amplify Each Other
The honest answer, for a lot of people, is:
it's both. In this episode we move past either/or and into the reality of
co-occurring autism and trauma - including why being autistic can increase
exposure to trauma in the first place. We map the two directions of influence
(how autism shapes the trauma response, and how trauma colors autistic traits) and
look at what the evidence says about doing trauma-focused work when both are in the
room, and how to think about the order support should happen in.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4vYPz1x (https://amzn.to/4vYPz1x)
1 Aug 2026
Identity Loss in Autism and Trauma
I don't really know who I am." It's one sentence but it can mean two completely different things. In this episode we separate an autistic self that was never fully seen or named from a self that was fractured by trauma, and we explore why the path back looks different for each.
Through two contrasting cases, we listen closely to how identity confusion can
feel similar on the surface while coming from entirely different places
underneath.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C (https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C)
1 Aug 2026
Autistic Meltdown or Trauma Flashback
Sometimes the whole system floods - and it's not always clear whether that's a trauma flashback or autistic overwhelm reaching
its limit. In this episode we look at flashbacks, including the somatic kind where
the body itself relives the past, and what actually separates them from an
autistic shutdown. Through a detailed worked example, we follow how a careful
listener pieces the difference together - and the complicating moment that shifts
everything. Please listen gently; this one runs deep.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C (https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C)
1 Aug 2026
Autistic Masking Versus Trauma Fawning
Some people perform "fine" so constantly and
so convincingly that no one sometimes not even them can see the effort
underneath. But is that autistic masking, or is it trauma-based fawning? In this
episode we untangle two kinds of invisible performance that look almost identical
from the outside, and explain why getting it wrong (and pushing someone to
"unmask" when they're actually fawning) can backfire. One carefully composed case
shows just how easily the two get confused.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C (https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C)
1 Aug 2026
Is it Social Exhaustion or Anxiety?
You cancel plans. You go quiet. You need to
be alone. But is it because socializing genuinely drains you - or because some
part of you is bracing against threat? In this episode we separate two very
different kinds of pulling away: autistic withdrawal and camouflaging on one side,
trauma-driven avoidance on the other. Through two contrasting cases, we show how
the same behavior - stepping back from people - can come from completely different
places, and why knowing which one it is changes everything about what helps.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C (https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C)
1 Aug 2026
When Your Body Won't Calm Down: Telling Autistic and Traumatized Nervous Systems Apart
Tell Them Apart - Book Series 2 of 8. Why won't your body just settle? For a lot
of people, the nervous system stays revved up long after the moment has passed -
and the reason matters. In this episode we explore interoception (your inner
body-sense) and how it works differently in autism, how sensory processing keeps
the system activated, and how that differs from a trauma response that keeps the
body braced for threat. We also look at why accommodations help but aren't the
full answer, through one person's shifting sensory world.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C (https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C)
1 Aug 2026
What Trauma Feels Like: How Trauma Mimics Autistic Traits
Tell Them Apart - Book Series 2 of 8. Trauma isn't only about what happened - it's
about what your nervous system learned in order to survive. In this episode we
look at how sustained or overwhelming threat reshapes the body's responses, and we
break down fight, flight, and freeze from the inside out. Through two contrasting
cases, we show how trauma-driven avoidance can look almost identical to autistic
withdrawal while running on a completely different mechanism. Please take care
while listening - this episode goes into tender territory.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C (https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C)
1 Aug 2026
What Autism Feels Like; Manual social processing in an autopilot world
Tell Them Apart - Book Series 2 of 8. What does autism actually feel like from the
inside - not from a clinician's checklist, but from within your own skin? In this
episode we get past the outside view and into lived autistic experience: the
sensory world, the effort of tracking conversations and reading cues, the way
executive function really works, and how autistic "crashes" get so easily
mistaken for something else. If you've ever felt described-but-not-understood,
this one is for recognizing yourself.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C (https://amzn.to/4fJAQ4C)
1 Aug 2026
Why Autism and Trauma Look Identical: The Overlap Zone
Tell Them Apart - Book Series 2 of 8. Avoidance. Hypervigilance. Meltdowns.
Trouble sleeping. Shaky sense of self. Here's the problem: autism and trauma
share almost all of these - which is exactly why so many people get missed or
mislabeled for years. In this episode we walk through the overlap zone feature by
feature, and reveal the key that starts to separate them: the same behavior can
run on completely different engines. We also look at why developmental history -
what was there in childhood versus what appeared later - is one of the most
powerful clues you have.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
[INSERT BUY LINK]
1 Aug 2026
Welcome to Is It Autism or Trauma?
Tell Them Apart - Book Series 2 of 8. Welcome to "Is It Autism or Trauma?" You've
maybe spent years in therapy and still feel like something never got named. This
opening episode lays out the question at the heart of the whole series: how do
you tell the difference between who you are and what you survived - when autism
and trauma can look so alike from the outside? We explain why almost nothing has
been written about this overlap, who this book is really for, and what it can and
can't do for you. Consider this your orientation before the deep dive begins.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
[INSERT BUY LINK]
1 Aug 2026
Two Nervous Systems, Two Stories
Tell Them Apart - Book Series 2 of 8. Two people can look like they're struggling
with the exact same things - and be living two completely different stories. In
this episode we lay out the foundational difference between an autistic nervous
system (something you're born with) and a trauma-shaped one (something that
happened to you). We look at how each affects the senses, social connection, and
emotion, and we follow two contrasting cases whose surface struggles look alike
but whose origins don't. The takeaway: the answer usually lives in the inner
experience, not the outward behavior.
Buy the complete book "Is It Autism or Trauma?" from the link in the description:
https://amzn.to/3S46GBg (https://amzn.to/3S46GBg)
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