by Vigorous Marvin
Journalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from real world anxieties and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free world of the Hallmark Channel. Each time, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to junk-store detectives—and break it down into recognizable components of angels, moms, moppets, sugary foods and themed sweaters, and try to make sense of when the stories veer away from comfort films and land in the uncanny valley. Welcome to a sweet, stilted vision of the world—not an escape from modern life, but a relaxing trip to an alternate universe where everyone is silly, chaste, nice, and mostly doing fine.
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
7/8/2018
Email Addresses
1 available
Phone Numbers
0 available
February 7, 2025
<p>It's a new era of stripping color from the world, and all anyone can ask is WHERE ARE YOU, CHRISTMAS? (<a href= "https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27496114/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">2023</a>), but first...</p> <p>Yeah, the audio thing was Dave's fault. I said it.</p> <p><strong>THEME:</strong> "<a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Fuck-You-Dont-Like-Christmas/dp/B004BF78WI" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas</a>," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather</p> <p><strong>PART ONE<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></strong></p> <p>How I met your mother ... Doc Hollywood and Danny Wuerffel (again) ... Pleasantville, but Hallmark ... Back in the saddle ... <strong>Cast Rundown and Expositional Challenge</strong> ... Larded with Hallmark-movie metacognition ... Recognition, not comedy ... New Year's movies ... Nice vision of Christmas ... David Lynch's last film ...<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>PART TWO</strong> <span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>Spot the Angel:</strong> No, or Jerry Gergich ... <strong>Eat Your Heart Out:</strong> 10,000 Flushes and Life Savers cocktails; Rainforest Cafe; candy-cane doctor; grocery-store cookies ... <strong>The Hallmark Expanded Universe:</strong> Jerry Reinsdorf and Hawk Harrelson; veteran men's encounter group; episodes 1, 4, 27 and 60 ...</p> <p><strong>PART THREE<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></strong></p> <p><strong>Overdetermined:</strong> "I remembered Christmas"; what's wrong with you; meta-town; dad's cattiness; "what's Christmas?" repeatedly ... <strong>Crossover:</strong> You Should Have Left, Cemetery Man, Pleasantville ...<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>PART FOUR</strong></p> <p><strong>The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test:</strong> Officer Connor and The Mayor ... Gazebo trend map ... <strong>Who's the Real Villain:</strong> Men's inability to process shame; Amazon ...<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>PART FIVE</strong></p> <p><strong>Rating:</strong> 3 ... A baseless romance ... <strong>The Leftovers:</strong> Dustin Rikert and Easy Rider 2 ... Arm's distance ... Incorrectly beating your car ... CFL lighting ... A pine tree in a living room??? ... <strong>Deleted Scene:</strong> Walken impressions, cut-ups, Fatboy Slim ... Merry Christmas!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p>All other music by Chris Collingwood of <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Look-Park/dp/B01DQ0T5J2/ref=ice_ac_b_dpb?ie=UTF8&qid=1512608928&sr=8-1&keywords=Look+Park" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Look Park</a> and <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=fountains+of+wayne&rh=i:aps,k:fountains+of+wayne" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Fountains of Wayne</a>, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane.</p> <p><strong>Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book:</strong> <a href= "https://www.helios.house/books/childrens-clausewitz" target= "_blank" rel= "noopener"><strong>Here</strong></a><strong>.</strong></p>
December 25, 2024
<p>We brought a murderer home who had an advent calendar kill schedule, and 'TWAS THE DATE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (<a href= "https://www.imdb.com/title/tt33503181/" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">2024</a>), but first...</p> <p>A Christmastown message from TV's Andy Levy ...</p> <p><strong>THEME:</strong> "<a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Fuck-You-Dont-Like-Christmas/dp/B004BF78WI" target="_blank" rel= "noopener">Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas</a>," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather</p> <p><strong>PART ONE<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></strong></p> <p>Watching with a widow ... Implausible landlordism ... It's fine, it's a Chilis II ... Elevated basement, structurally self-aware ... The AI/Gattaca of Hallmark ...<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>PART TWO</strong> <span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>Cast Rundown, Expositional Challenge and Plot Mop-Up:</strong> Bryan vs. traditional suits; Jessie and Christmas games ... No gazebo, no kiss ... Groening's a Karpluk ... Buckley affably going along ... <strong>Spot the Angel:</strong> No, but Hunger Games ...<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>PART THREE<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></strong></p> <p><strong>Eat Your Heart Out:</strong> Marcus the gourmet; blurred banquet; "make it a double!"; splash of skim milk ... No Cure for Christmas ... <strong>The Hallmark Expanded Universe:</strong> All Hallmark retail on one block; widowers are just lying divorced dads ... The Korean War ... <span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>PART FOUR<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></strong></p> <p><strong>Overdetermined:</strong> Deconstructed Hallmark? ... <strong>Crossover:</strong> Ready or Not; Fake Fiancées on Adultery Island ... <strong>Great Moments in Moppetry:</strong> 1 ...<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span> <strong>The Real Villain/Voight-Kampff Test:</strong> Again, it's real and fine; weird knows it's weird ... <strong>Rating:</strong> 3 ... Three-car garage ...<span class= "Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p><strong>PART FIVE</strong></p> <p><strong>The Leftovers:</strong> Where does it end? ... Crypto's pumping ... Let's gooooo debut ... <strong>IMDB Dive:</strong> Steal B-Rad's sunshine ... Christmas in Angel Falls ... MERRY! shirt ... Family kiss ogling ... <strong>Widow Talk:</strong> Don't eliminate supportive traditions ... 3x5 wallet photo ... Fiber-optic marketer ... WE DID IT, BABY! ... Merry Christmas!<span class="Apple-converted-space"> </span></p> <p>All other music by Chris Collingwood of <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/Look-Park/dp/B01DQ0T5J2/ref=ice_ac_b_dpb?ie=UTF8&qid=1512608928&sr=8-1&keywords=Look+Park" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Look Park</a> and <a href= "https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=fountains+of+wayne&rh=i:aps,k:fountains+of+wayne" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Fountains of Wayne</a>, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "We're Sending Our Love Down the Well" by The Simpsons.</p> <p><strong>Buy our show artist Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book:</strong> <a href= "https://www.helios.house/books/childrens-clausewitz" target= "_blank" rel= "noopener"><strong>Here</strong></a><strong>.</strong></p>
November 29, 2024
DC Pierson recounts his unapologetically festive experience at The Santa Summit, offering a humorous critique of millennial pandering and the true meaning of Christmas.
Defector Media
Frotcast LLC
All Lawyers Are Bad
What A Time To Be Alive
Extra Hot Great: This Week In TV
Cool Zone Media and iHeartPodcasts
Jamelle Bouie and John Ganz
Alex Ptak, Jeremy Kaplowitz, and Clare O'Kane
Bryan
WTYP is Justin Roczniak, November Kelly, Liam McAnderson, and friends.
Matthew Sitman
TRASHFUTURE
Blowback
Knowledge Fight
Julian Feeld, Travis View & Jake Rockatansky
Pod Engine is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or officially connected with any of the podcasts displayed on this platform. We operate independently as a podcast discovery and analytics service.
All podcast artwork, thumbnails, and content displayed on this page are the property of their respective owners and are protected by applicable copyright laws. This includes, but is not limited to, podcast cover art, episode artwork, show descriptions, episode titles, transcripts, audio snippets, and any other content originating from the podcast creators or their licensors.
We display this content under fair use principles and/or implied license for the purpose of podcast discovery, information, and commentary. We make no claim of ownership over any podcast content, artwork, or related materials shown on this platform. All trademarks, service marks, and trade names are the property of their respective owners.
While we strive to ensure all content usage is properly authorized, if you are a rights holder and believe your content is being used inappropriately or without proper authorization, please contact us immediately at [email protected] for prompt review and appropriate action, which may include content removal or proper attribution.
By accessing and using this platform, you acknowledge and agree to respect all applicable copyright laws and intellectual property rights of content owners. Any unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or commercial use of the content displayed on this platform is strictly prohibited.