My lover died
I remember that day
The dew fell off on the green grass
The chirping of sparrows echoed in the evening sky
All I heard was silence
Just silence...
Puffs of burning smoke billowed in the skyless air
His body's ashes were stored well in an urn buried in the earth
The only things left were the pieces of his hair and a photo of him
Only the clothes still had traces of his scent
His scent lingers and I hope it never faded
My tears spilled all night, all day, all year
I was overwhelmed in grief.
It was a bright day
But my heart was very dark, as dark as the night sky
My clothes were neat, with a white veil covering every strand of my hair
That morning the sun was not yet high
But my heart was pounding with alarm
That day was supposed to be a day of new beginnings for me
It's not the breaking point I felt like I just wanted to die...
Because that day was my birthday
There should be a story of my new life journey
With a string of prayers that I said when blowing out the candles for the man who would later become my life partner
I closed my eyes, prayed, and opened my eyes again
There's no one...
Familiar faces took turns expressing their condolences
They prayed for my dream to come true
But now I don't know what should I expect?
To whom?
I didn't even know myself
All those hopes and prayers had just vanished from within me before I could say "amen" for it
That day was a big day
I was worried
Very anxious
Because even on the best day,
I can grieve
Too deep of grief
Where I will never know when I will be able to rise again from this vortex of destruction
I will never know.
3 May 2024
Consciously, Believe
Love is about trust.
11 Dec 2020
Don't Be Too Hard On Yourself
They're so kind. They willingly to struggle with you. Hug them, love them, and thank them — your own selves.
9 Dec 2020
Brokenheart isn't That Simple
Dealing with a heartbreak is not as easy as how we say it, "I am broken heart". It's complicated. It's deep. It's deadly.
8 Dec 2020
The Reason Why I Started to Write
Don't be afraid to express your feelings. If you can't tell something to someone because you're afraid they'll judge you, then express it in a way you feel comfortable with.
8 Dec 2020
When the Morning isn't Okay
And by the time, the bad feelings start to fade away. And you will become yourself again.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Spotify
5.0 / 5
1 ratings
Host of JAV'S THOUGHTS?
Claim your podcast to manage its listing and keep your show details accurate.
Pod Engine is an independent podcast discovery and analytics service and is not affiliated with or endorsed by this podcast. Artwork and show content belong to their owners. Full legal notice.
Explore this show Podcast research with Pod Engine
