As we all know, in the bible, the Devil (as opposed to "a" devil) went down to Georgia and played some music. Said music may or may not have been played with a fiddle. A fiddle diddle, if you will. All fiddles (but not diddles) aside the Devil's music also directly inspired Charmed, Season 2, Episode 4, which, funny enough, is titled "The Devil's Music." We assume the two are linked because it is widely known (i.e. all relevant architectural evidence points to) the Devil was joined - backup singer style - by a melodic bag of bones named Masselin, whose pitch range was matched only by the creepy length of his fingers. Masselin is also the demon-of-the-week the Charmed Ones face in this here ep, with some other orb-relevant stuff going on. Some of it not even normally relevant because our takes on (what was) recent political events are now super old. But still we gotta let the music play (as Mama Ru would say) and give you the full hour twenty minutes coverage of this truly devilish episode of Charmed, also featuring Dishwalla... But, like, dishwholla? I don't know her.
11 Mar 2025
Charmed S2E3 "The Painted World"
Charmed has taught us that being a powerful witch is more of a burden than anything, but in “The Painted World,” the third episode of Charmed’s second season, we learn of one plus side: having the power to truly fuck over an ex you despise.
Say you have this ex, who not only does NOT pay your telephone bills NOR your automobills, but who turns out to be an evil warlock from the pits of hell. Not only could you trap them in a dusty painting of a wretched Gothic manse for eternity, you could also design it so that said mansion spews a whole lot of fireballsin their direction at any given time, FOREVER.
We also learn that a “benefit” of being a witch is that you can cast a “smart spell” on yourself, which would give you the super bright idea of drawing a super detailed, super unhinged pictorial representation of a swarm of sperm attacking a lady orb (aka an egg) and giving said drawing to a tween girl, passing it off as sex education.
But what else would you expect from an episode of television directed by someone named Kevin Inch aka “Seven Inch” Kevin Inch?
17 Feb 2025
Charmed S2E2 "Morality Bites"
Being a good person is really annoying and inconvenient. You know this, I know this, and the Halliwell sister have to learn this harsh lesson in “Morality Bites,” the second episode of Charmed’s second season.
What is the point of having powers if you can never use them for your own benefit? Since learning they are witches, the Halliwell sisters have had to deal with demon after demon, warlock after warlock, failed relationship after failed relationship. Don’t they deserve to at least derive some tangible (Tangella) benefit from witchcraft?
The answer to that question is apparently “no,” and not only that--if you use your powers for your own gain, you could end up being burned at the stake by a serpentine, opportunistic politician!! Somebody call 9-1-1 cause shawty fire burning on the dance floor except this time not in a good way…
To add onto the absolute tragedies, atrocities and criminal offences that occur in this episode, Future Prue is serving crusted, busted and dusted with her dry ass blond wig. Haven’t the sisters been punished enough?!
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