That sound of flushing? Johnny's on the Potty Pottycast is ready to go—going where podcasts have been afraid to go: the bathroom.
You'll be shitting, laughing & learning about what's really going on down there. You'll hear from real doctors and my two French co-hosts, PP and Poo Poo. You'll hear celebrities come by and take a leak on my $10,000 smart potty—it's smarter than that octopus that can roll cigars. You'll hear the crazy stories men make up just to poop at work.
Open your bathroom door, because we've been missing out on a lot of funny shit.
Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.
The Navy is back in the bathroom.
Johnny takes a look at reports of toilet problems, food shortages, and life aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, where thousands of sailors have been spending months at sea.
Then, a sailor writes Johnny with a story about what’s been happening aboard the ship.
25 Sept 2026
Name Our Dung Beetle & Hear the Doodoo Brothers’ Debut Song
Johnny’s on the Potty has a new mascot, but there’s one problem: our dung beetle Charlie wants a better name.
In this episode, Johnny launches the official dung beetle naming contest, gets into the surprisingly fascinating history of scarab beetles, shares a very strange George Harrison story, and introduces the musical debut of the Doodoo Brothers.
Yes, there’s a song about dung beetles.
10 Sept 2026
E. Coli Is Calling
How clean is your phone? Your toothbrush? Your salad?
In this episode of Johnny’s on the Potty Pottycast, Johnny gets into E. coli, Salmonella, bathroom bacteria, food contamination, and the everyday habits that may be spreading more germs than we realize.
It’s food safety, bathroom hygiene, questionable science conversations, and plenty of places you probably never expected bacteria to show up.
20 Aug 2026
Why Are We Still Pretending Nobody Poops? Cue The Flushing Song
Why are we still pretending nobody poops?
In this episode of Johnny’s On the Potty Pottycast, Johnny takes on one of the strangest bathroom anxieties of all: being afraid someone might hear you go.
From double flushing and bathroom sound anxiety to Japan’s Sound Princess, Johnny explores the lengths people will go to disguise perfectly normal bathroom habits. There are babbling brooks, tweeting birds, smart toilets, celebrity leaks, an original flushing song and, naturally, a request for Sarah Silverman to use Johnny’s toilet.
5 Aug 2026
A Stroke of Genius, Cow Farts & Wisconsin's Meltdown
That sound of flushing? You know exactly what that means.
This episode opens with Johnny tackling a topic everybody thinks about but nobody talks about, settling once and for all whether it's okay to touch yourself, with a full breakdown of the actual health benefits behind it. Then things take a hard left into Wisconsin dairy country, where a listener's letter about a family fortune lost to almond trees and oat fields turns into one of the show's most unexpectedly educational rants, cow farts, blue whale milk, and a wild proposal for what to do with 15,000 cows once the milk business dries up.
Plus: a fart joke or two, and a naming contest for the show's mascot that's been dying for a rebrand.
Self-care, sour milk, and a Wisconsin comeback story you did not see coming.
29 Jul 2026
Oh No Burrito
That sound of flushing? You already know what that means.
This episode, Johnny brings back one of the show's potty pop stars for a brand new hot sauce anthem, "Oh No Burrito", a song about mystery meat, questionable decisions, and consequences that hit exactly where you'd expect. From there Johnny heads straight to Bob's Big Bad Burrito Food Truck talk before pivoting into the real headline: robot potties. Fully autonomous, self-cleaning, no-toilet-paper-required bathroom bots that come when called and Johnny's got thoughts on exactly who's spending five figures to get one.
Spoiler: it's not who you'd guess, until you hear the reasoning, and then it makes way too much sense.
Toilet paper might be obsolete. Midnight bathroom trips might be a thing of the past. And gamers might be the ones leading the charge.
22 Jul 2026
Ranch Dressing Sweeps the World Cup & Flushes the Competition
That sound of flushing? That's every international fan's first taste of American culture, and it's ranch-flavored.
In this episode, Johnny dives into America's obsession with ranch dressing and why it's become a cultural icon for World Cup visitors experiencing the U.S. for the first time. He also covers the history of Hidden Valley Ranch, including an alternate brand name that almost made it to market, plus a few myths that have followed the sauce for years. The episode wraps with a shorter look at Japan's bathroom sound technology and how it compares to American attitudes toward privacy.
11 Jul 2026
All Hands on Poop Deck
That sound of flushing? On the USS Gerald R. Ford, it's actually the sound of $13 billion going straight down the drain, literally.
Johnny's going solo this episode and diving deep (too deep) into the Navy's most expensive bathroom disaster. Turns out the most advanced aircraft carrier on the planet has a sewage system that can't handle sailors doing what sailors gotta do. We're talking undersized pipes, pipe bursts, and a fix so absurd the Navy might as well have just handed out diapers.
From six-figure pipe cleaner budgets to sailors getting put on a literal liquid diet just so the toilets can keep up, this episode proves that no amount of taxpayer money can out-engineer basic plumbing. Johnny breaks down how a ship built to project American power abroad can't project anything through its own pipes.
1 Jul 2026
I Got The Toilet Bowl Blues For You
That sound of flushing? That's us singing the blues about bathroom mistakes, cat litter boxes, and the confessions that'll make you feel way less alone.
This week, Johnny trades his potty throne for a microphone and gets real, literally. We're talking a full parody of "Lodi" meets bathroom ballad, complete with all the heartbreak, regret, and toilet-based existential dread a man can muster. And then things get weird. Harry Osborne walks in with a confession that'll make you question your entire understanding of what constitutes an emergency bathroom situation.
Spoiler: he used a cat's litter box. Yes. A cat's litter box. Not once. Multiple times. The guilt is real. The shame is real. The penance? Well, that's where Johnny and the Absolution Solution come in to turn one man's catastrophic cat litter bathroom disaster into comedy gold.
It's embarrassing. It's relatable. It's proof that no bathroom mishap is too weird or too awkward for Johnny's potty throne.
10 Jun 2026
Elephant Poop Coffee, Smart Potties & Pap Smears
That sound of flushing? It's in F-flat, and it's the most expensive and absurd episode we've ever recorded.
Warning: This episode contains discussions of elephant dung, celebrity bathroom mishaps, and the kind of health advice that'll actually make you comfortable talking to your doctor. We're blending high-end bathroom luxury with real medical conversations, and somehow it all makes sense.
This week, Johnny's diving into the world's most questionable coffee, Black Ivory Coffee, which is literally made from beans that have passed through an elephant's digestive system. Yes, you read that right. Elephants eat coffee cherries, digest them, poop them out, and then someone collects that poop and charges you $500 a cup. It's absurd, it's luxurious, and it's absolutely happening.
But we're not just here to talk about fancy elephant feces. Johnny's also introducing the Celebrity Leaks contest (because let's be honest, famous people have bathroom emergencies too), revealing the mind-bending features of a $10,000 smart potty, and bringing in real doctor advice about women's health because apparently, men need permission to ask their partners about their bodies. Plus, there's a joke about a brown and sticky stick that'll either make you groan or laugh. Probably both.
3 Jun 2026
The Shocking Truth About Airplane Bathrooms
That sound of flushing? That's 35,000 feet in the air, and you're trapped in a box smaller than a dishwasher.
Ever wondered why airline bathrooms feel like they were designed by someone who hates humanity? Wonder no more. This week, Johnny takes flight into the wild world of airplane toilet design, where your only options are "squeeze in awkwardly" or "hold it for six hours." Spoiler alert: neither is great for your urinary tract.
But this episode isn't just about laughing at your misery (though we do plenty of that). Johnny's teaming up with health facts, bacteria science, and some genuinely helpful advice to explain why flying is basically a petri dish with wings. From the E. coli lurking in airline water to the nasty bacteria with hooks and bulging bodies that cause infections, this is the episode that'll make you think twice before touching anything on a plane.
7 May 2026
World Cup Sh*t Show
That sound of flushing? That's New York City's infrastructure going down the drain during the World Cup.
The World Cup is coming to NYC, and the city that never sleeps is about to become the city that can't pee. While FIFA's busy counting their billions, New York's scrambling to figure out where millions of soccer fans are supposed to answer nature's call. Spoiler alert: there aren't enough public toilets, and Johnny's got some ideas that are equal parts brilliant and borderline criminal.
This week, Johnny tackles the biggest crap crisis since Montezuma's Revenge, literally. We're talking bathroom shortages, entrepreneurial opportunities (rent out your toilet for $50 a flush, anyone?), and the kind of social commentary that only makes sense when you're sitting on the throne contemplating humanity's failures.
29 Apr 2026
Introducing 2Ply, The Soft Rapper
That sound of flushing? That's 2Ply The Rapper dropping bars and truth bombs from the throne.
You thought this was just another bathroom humor podcast? Wrong. This week, Johnny brings hip-hop to the bathroom with none other than 2Ply The Rapper, the MC who keeps it real, keeps it clean (well, kind of), and spits verses that'll make you laugh, cry, and question every lie you've ever told.
2Ply The Rapper isn't your average MC. While other rappers brag about cash and cars, this guy's out here preaching honesty, parenting wisdom, and the importance of checking on your loved ones' health. He's soft on skin but hard on the mic, gentle with his loved ones but ruthless with the truth. It's like if Kendrick Lamar did a TED Talk on a toilet, and honestly? We're here for it.
22 Apr 2026
Winnie-the-Poop
That sound you hear? That's the future of bathroom technology flushing away your last shred of dignity.
You think you know toilets? Think again. While you've been doing your business the old-fashioned way like some kind of caveman, there's a whole world of $10,000 smart toilets out there that'll heat your seat, play you music, analyze your... output... and probably judge you for that late-night Taco Bell run.
This week, Johnny parks himself on the porcelain throne for a solo session that'll blow your mind (and possibly other things). We're talking smart toilets that do everything except your taxes, bizarre bathroom statistics that'll make you question your entire existence, and workplace bathroom anxiety that's more real than you think.
15 Apr 2026
Houston, We Have a Potty Problem
That sound of flushing? That's us, going where no podcast has gone before: the bathroom.
You couldn't make this stuff up. While the rest of the world was watching NASA's Artemis II crew make history with the first woman around the moon, a record-breaking 252,756 miles from Earth, including a solar eclipse, Johnny was asking the real question nobody else had the guts to ask: what happens when an astronaut has to go?
And as it turns out, the Artemis II toilet actually acted up mid-mission. Yes, really. You can't flush this stuff.
This week Johnny takes a leak on the biggest space story of the year with a deep dive into cosmic bathroom chaos. Think burritos in zero gravity, clogged space toilets, and the heroics of Christina Koch, who didn't just make history as the first woman to orbit the Moon. She's also Johnny's pick for the first astronaut plumber. Six plungers. Several coat hangers. She got the job done.
31 Mar 2026
Trailer
That sound of flushing? Johnny's on the Potty Pottycast is ready to go—going where podcasts have been afraid to go: the bathroom.
You'll be shitting, laughing & learning about what's really going on down there. You'll hear from real doctors and my two French co-hosts, PP and Poo Poo. You'll hear celebrities come by and take a leak on my $10,000 smart potty—it's smarter than that octopus that can roll cigars. You'll hear the crazy stories men make up just to poop at work.
Open your bathroom door, because we've been missing out on a lot of funny shit.
Don't forget to follow us on Shitter.
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
4 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
5 ratings
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