Just Listen To Me!
Claim This Podcastby Julia Shay
Podcast Overview
<p></p><p>Welcome to the place where love stops performing and starts telling the truth.</p><p></p><p>I’m a couples counsellor who works with the real moments of relationships — the disconnection, the misunderstandings, and the deep longing to feel safe and chosen. Using an emotionally focused couples therapy lens, I break down attachment patterns, communication breakdowns, and the cycles that keep couples stuck.</p><p></p><p>This podcast is for people who care deeply and want to understand what’s actually happening beneath the arguments, silence, or distance — without quick fixes or clichés.</p><p></p><p>Whether you’re healing your relationship, reconnecting, or breaking generational patterns around love and attachment, this is a space to slow down and grow.</p><p></p><p>Alongside relationship and attachment education, the podcast also explores narcissistic and coercive relational dynamics, emotional safety, emotionally unsafe systems, and the difference between genuine therapeutic support and dependency or emotional manipulation.</p><p></p><p>🛍️ The Project Secure Attachment Store is now open.</p><p>Created as an extension of the podcast, the store features journals, apparel, mugs, and resources inspired by the themes we explore here each week — emotional safety, secure attachment, healing, self-reflection, and meaningful connection.</p><p>Explore the collection at: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://project-secure-attachment.myshopify.com/" target="_blank">https://project-secure-attachment.myshopify.com/</a></p><p></p><p>✨ Explore the growing Project Secure Attachment learning library including online courses, companion eBooks, and attachment-focused relationship resources: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.flourishrelationship.com/courses?utm_source=chatgpt.com" target="_blank">Project Secure Attachment Courses</a></p><p></p><p>While <i>Just Listen to Me</i> was created to support individuals and couples navigating relationship pain and attachment wounds, many therapists, counsellors, and helping professionals also listen as part of their own attachment-based learning and reflective practice.</p><p></p><p>You’re welcome here. Let’s build relationships that feel safe, real, and alive.</p><p></p><p>The stories and relationship dynamics shared in this podcast are always de-identified and adapted to protect privacy and confidentiality. Many examples are composites based on common patterns seen across therapeutic work.</p>
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
2/16/2026
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Recent Episodes
May 29, 2026
When Addiction Enters the Relationship: Trust, Betrayal and Attachment Wounds
<p>Addiction rarely affects just one person.</p><p></p><p>Whether it's alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, compulsive sexual behaviour, or other addictive patterns, addiction can slowly erode trust, emotional safety, intimacy, and connection within relationships.</p><p></p><p>In this episode of <i>Just Listen to Me</i>, I explore addiction through the lens of attachment theory and relationship dynamics.</p><p></p><p>We'll discuss why addiction often creates profound loneliness, how secrecy and deception damage trust, the pursuer-withdrawer cycle that many couples become trapped within, and why partners can find themselves walking on eggshells while desperately trying to hold the relationship together.</p><p></p><p>We'll also explore the complex intersection between addiction, betrayal, financial secrecy, and attachment wounds, and why recovery is about far more than simply stopping the behaviour.</p><p></p><p>Recovery is ultimately about rebuilding trust, restoring emotional safety, and finding a way back to connection.</p><p></p><p>If addiction has touched your relationship, I hope this conversation offers understanding, compassion, and hope.</p><p></p><p>Because secure relationships aren't built on perfection.</p><p>They're built on honesty, accountability, repair, and the courage to reconnect after pain.</p><p></p><p>🛍️ The Project Secure Attachment Store is now open, with 15% off storewide during our launch period at the following link: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://project-secure-attachment.myshopify.com/" target="_blank">https://project-secure-attachment.myshopify.com/</a></p><p></p><p>🎙️ Hosted by Julia Shay, relationship counsellor, social worker, and creator of Project Secure Attachment.</p>
May 27, 2026
Why Love Feels Hard When the Nervous System Is Struggling
<p>Mental health can profoundly impact relationships — affecting communication, intimacy, emotional safety, conflict, and connection itself.</p><p></p><p>✨ Explore the growing Project Secure Attachment learning library including online courses, companion eBooks, and attachment-focused relationship resources: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.flourishrelationship.com/courses?utm_source=chatgpt.com" target="_blank">Project Secure Attachment Courses</a></p><p></p><p>In this episode of Project Secure Attachment, we explore what happens when one or both nervous systems are struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, emotional overwhelm, or psychological distress.</p><p></p><p>We discuss:<br />• emotional withdrawal and misunderstanding<br />• trauma and attachment dynamics<br />• intimacy and reassurance-seeking<br />• caretaking, over-functioning, and codependency<br />• nervous-system regulation in relationships<br />• the difference between emotional intensity and emotional safety</p><p></p><p>This is a compassionate, trauma-informed conversation about why love can feel so difficult during periods of emotional struggle — and how relationships can slowly move toward greater security, honesty, and connection over time.</p><p></p><p>If love feels hard right now, you’re not broken.</p>
May 22, 2026
What Safe Therapy Actually Feels Like
<p>🎓 Julia’s new foundational online course:<br /><i>Not All Therapists Are Safe — How to Choose a Counsellor With Integrity </i>is now officially live at the following link:<br /><a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.flourishrelationship.com/courses" target="_blank">https://www.flourishrelationship.com/courses</a></p><p></p><p>The course is currently available at a special introductory launch price of $97 AUD until Sunday 24th May 8pm AEST, after which it will return to its usual price of $147 AUD.</p><p></p><p>Healing does not always need to feel intense in order to be real.</p><p></p><p>In this episode of <i>Just Listen to Me</i>, Julia Shay explores the quieter, steadier side of healing — and why emotionally safe therapy often feels very different from emotionally overwhelming or emotionally consuming experiences.</p><p></p><p>After discussing emotionally unsafe therapy and nervous-system vulnerability in recent episodes, this conversation turns toward an equally important question:</p><p>What does emotionally safe healing actually feel like?</p><p></p><p>Drawing from attachment theory, emotionally focused therapy, nervous-system regulation, and trauma-informed practice, this episode explores:</p><p>• why emotionally safe therapy often feels slower and steadier<br />• emotional safety versus emotional intensity<br />• co-regulation versus dependency<br />• pacing, boundaries, and emotional containment<br />• why calmness can initially feel unfamiliar to dysregulated nervous systems<br />• and how safe therapy gradually strengthens self-trust, emotional stability, and connection to self over time</p><p></p><p>This episode also explores why people with histories involving:<br />attachment wounds…<br />chaos…<br />inconsistency…<br />emotional unpredictability…<br />or chronic invalidation…</p><p>may sometimes mistake emotional intensity for emotional depth.</p><p></p><p>Because emotionally safe therapy is usually not trying to overwhelm the nervous system.</p><p>It is helping create conditions where:<br />repair…<br />clarity…<br />regulation…<br />secure attachment…<br />self-trust…<br />and sustainable healing<br />can gradually emerge over time.</p><p>And sometimes…</p><p>the safest healing is also the gentlest.</p><p></p>
25 total episodes available
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Frequently asked questions
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- What is Just Listen To Me!?
<p></p><p>Welcome to the place where love stops performing and starts telling the truth.</p><p></p><p>I’m a couples counsellor who works with the real moments of relationships — the disconnection, the misunderstandings, and the deep longing to feel safe and chosen. Using an emotionally focused couples therapy lens, I break down attachment patterns, communication breakdowns, and the cycles that keep couples stuck.</p><p></p><p>This podcast is for people who care deeply and want to understand what’s actually happening beneath the arguments, silence, or distance — without quick fixes or clichés.</p><p></p><p>Whether you’re healing your relationship, reconnecting, or breaking generational patterns around love and attachment, this is a space to slow down and grow.</p><p></p><p>Alongside relationship and attachment education, the podcast also explores narcissistic and coercive relational dynamics, emotional safety, emotionally unsafe systems, and the difference between genuine therapeutic support and dependency or emotional manipulation.</p><p></p><p>🛍️ The Project Secure Attachment Store is now open.</p><p>Created as an extension of the podcast, the store features journals, apparel, mugs, and resources inspired by the themes we explore here each week — emotional safety, secure attachment, healing, self-reflection, and meaningful connection.</p><p>Explore the collection at: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://project-secure-attachment.myshopify.com/" target="_blank">https://project-secure-attachment.myshopify.com/</a></p><p></p><p>✨ Explore the growing Project Secure Attachment learning library including online courses, companion eBooks, and attachment-focused relationship resources: <a rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="https://www.flourishrelationship.com/courses?utm_source=chatgpt.com" target="_blank">Project Secure Attachment Courses</a></p><p></p><p>While <i>Just Listen to Me</i> was created to support individuals and couples navigating relationship pain and attachment wounds, many therapists, counsellors, and helping professionals also listen as part of their own attachment-based learning and reflective practice.</p><p></p><p>You’re welcome here. Let’s build relationships that feel safe, real, and alive.</p><p></p><p>The stories and relationship dynamics shared in this podcast are always de-identified and adapted to protect privacy and confidentiality. Many examples are composites based on common patterns seen across therapeutic work.</p> - How often does this podcast release new episodes?
This podcast updates daily.
- Where can I listen to this podcast?
This podcast is available on 4 platforms including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and more. You can also use the RSS feed directly.
- Does this podcast accept guests?
No, this podcast does not typically feature guests.
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