An Actual-Play roleplaying podcast featuring a cast of professional actors on professional equipment, Leastwatch is a weekly show about the two least guards of the magical city of Nyse, standing watch at the least gate.
A show for you history nerds out there! Leastwatch is set in the legendary kingdom of Prester John, whom our ancestors from Europe and the Near East imagined as a descendant of the Three Magi from the Bible, a mythical Christian emperor who lived somewhere over the horizon to the east.
Featuring a rules-lite homebrew game that puts the emphasis on story and roleplay, Leastwatch keeps the action rolling! Two of our players are the guards and the rest of us are the characters waiting in the queue. There's always someone new and strange and maybe even dangerous approaching the gate or exiting the city. It's up to our two guards to protect the city and survive the worst that its enemies throw at them.
Did the open sewer save our heroes from the fire or did it serve as a methane channel that diverted the inferno into the Misericorde? We may never know. But those who survived are glad to put their lives back together, and figure out a way to perhaps make it better. And yet nothing can be that easy, can it, Hugh? Not with your family history.
And then... He's Skin! He's Bones! We're altogether ordinary...! Stick around for episode 2 of the short series Skin & Bones about the adventures of our favorite goblin and skeleton across the Dire Lands.
7 Apr 2026
Season 2 - Episode 1 - Cantor's Candles
Season 2! A whole new season! That must mean it's spring and not winter! Hey, we did it, everybody! We survived the climate for a few more weeks! And our redoubtable heroes at the Leastgate have done so as well. Now, wait. What's this? Love is in the air? Oh, right. Because it's spring!
And if a full episode of Leastwatch doesn't get you going, then how about a BONUS episode tacked on the end of Skin & Bones! That's right, an adaptation of a fantasy animation script meant for Pixar or Dreamworks, Skin & Bones is the sweet and silly story of a weasely little greenskin goblin known as Skin and his new cowardly skeleton friend named Bones who do all they can to survive the wars and worries of the Direlands. Make sure to keep listening after the end of Leastwatch for Skin & Bones!
22 Mar 2026
DECAP Theatre - The Bells
Hey, what is this stageplay doing in my podcast? Well, friends, this is the other side of DECAP Studios. As well as actual-play RPG madness, we will be bringing you other improv material, mini-campaigns and one-shots, as well as fully-realized works like this. We are writers as well as actors and gamers. And we look forward to bringing our many worlds to life for you! Please join our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/c/Leastwatch (https://www.patreon.com/c/Leastwatch) for all our episodes!
The Bells is one of many scripts from DW Draffin's science fiction theater in San Francisco. More like an episode of Twilight Zone than The Jetsons, these award-winning plays are at turns comedies, thrillers, and experimental philosophy. This one has lots of twists and turns so I won't show my cards any more than that. Enjoy!
9 Mar 2026
Episode 11 - Omnax
What? Season One is already over? Well, that was a blast. And nobody we really care about is dead, except for Fozal, for whom I will always burn a candle. And still so many questions! Just who is it that the Scarab is hunting? What is the family secret between Hugh and his brother? What is the plan of the Brown Bishop? And, perhaps most importantly... Why do these knights all drift away in a stupor to Ecbatana?
Join us for Season Two of Leastwatch! And please consider joining our Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/cw/Leastwatch (https://www.patreon.com/cw/Leastwatch) for DECAP sessions, where the cast reacts to the sessions we just recorded--as well as special episodes of DECAP THEATER, unique recordings we do of our own written stageplays, audio dramas, screenplay adaptations, and one-off roleplay sessions. If you are only hearing Leastwatch and delighting in the vocal talents of this crew, you are cheating yourself! Please join us at Patreon today!
9 Feb 2026
Episode 10 - Get Real Good
Night time at the Leastgate and CLOVER is still missing. But not to fear, The Scarab knows what to do! It's time for Hugh to Get Real Good and fight back against the gathering forces of darkness and the unfair socioeconomic system of the Three Indies!
26 Jan 2026
Episode 09 - Sami's Sausages
You ever have something absolutely terrible happen, like have your best friend stolen right in front of your eyes, and then immediately get distracted by the delicious aroma of freshly-cooked sausages? Yeah. Me neither. People who do that are awful. I'd never treat my friends that way. But did you smell those sausages?
19 Jan 2026
Episode 08 - The Pigment of Zeal
If you haven't yet realized it, this is not your standard fantasy world of dwarves and elves. Instead, the menagerie available in the Three Indies resembles more the marginalia you'd see scribbled by Medieval monks in their books. Pig men. Wild men with bird wings. Giant snails with men's faces. Demonic barnyard animals. Take Orwell's Animal Farm and mix it with the Old Testament and the collected works of Hieronymous Bosch and Peter Breughel and you get the idea!
12 Jan 2026
Episode 07 - Piddly P Pilbeson
You think this is an easy job, just waiting in the cold mud and rain while people try to fool you, threaten you, sneak past you? And all this without a living wage or administrative support! Then, just when you think you've gotten things under control, some mysterious creature wielding magic breaks your poor little mind.
5 Jan 2026
Episode 06 - Lagar & Big Linda
Night time is always a busy time at the Leastgate and this night is no different. Pig men, wild men, and all the barbarians of the region have decided it is once again fighting season. But Hugh and CLOVER are not without friends of their own. Because that's what this is all about here, the friends we make when our backs are against the wall.
29 Dec 2025
Episode 05 - Dr. Strabismus
Oh ho what have we here...? A response from the powers-that-be that all may not be well in the fantastical utopia of Nyse? Perhaps, after an invasion of pig men that assaulted several of the city gates and left dead and injured outside the walls. But what will they actually do about it? And who is this creep calling himself Thimble? Let's find out!
22 Dec 2025
Episode 04 - The Grebit
Oh when the sun departs, the shadows lengthen, and gloom descends, that's when Hugh's knees start to tremble and even his large friend CLOVER begins to swivel his head in alarm...
15 Dec 2025
Episode 03 - A Glint of Metal
And now it's raining. Have you ever been in a farmyard in the rain? When the water releases all the fragrances of the ordure at your feet? Yeah. Good times. And it's cold. A thing about the 12th century is that they didn't really have waterproof clothes. They had some things that sufficed--felt cloaks with natural lanolin and oiled skins that shed water. But for the most part, they suffered. Like Hugh suffers. Come listen to Hugh suffering! It's most enjoyable.
8 Dec 2025
Episode 02 - The Noble Ellen-Pants
CLOVER is back with Hugh the Magnificent and a whole host of new friends.
Tuppen may not be a friend, but he will be close.
Kimyit will help everyone learn about the power of astragalomancy and 12th century Uyghur Turkic Books of Omens!
And there is a very special new friend with strict dietary requirements for them all to meet!
16 Nov 2025
Episode 01 - Jacks & Jeens
Hello hello and let's get this party started, shall we? Join us for the first episode of the improv comedy / dice-rolling tragedy that is Leastwatch. Guards chosen, it is now their job to guard the Leastgate and only allow in and out those they want. Does absolute power breed absolute corruption? Does desperation breed creativity? Does familiarity breed contempt? All this and more can be found in this episode!
15 Nov 2025
Session 0
Hello to all our new friends! Just what is this show anyway, and how is it different from other actual-play RPG improv comedy podcasts? Well, first--a unique setting in the Medieval fantasy genre--one that was invented by writers of the age! And also, a rules-lite but compelling game with unique mechanics, such as a single setting and assistant game masters called speakers to play all the NPCs.
Like any good Dungeons & Dragons DM, I've decided to start with a session zero to better introduce the world of Leastwatch and the ways we will play this game. Join us for a story-based way to generate our characters, and apply for the job of Least Guard, standing watch at the Least Gate.
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