About Love in Practice with Emily Gough and Kelly Gardner
Hosted by married couple Emily Gough, a relationship coach, and Kelly Gardner, an embodied leadership coach, Love in Practice explores the real, raw, and messy work of love. We share stories from our own relationship and guide you through building emotional intimacy, navigating conflict, co-creating interdependence, and healing wounds to create deeply loving partnerships rooted in trust, respect and growth. Love isn’t perfect, but showing up for it daily is always worth the practice.
Publisher
Emily Gough & Kelly Gardner
Category
health & fitness · society & culture · society & culture
Do you work with your partner? Today we're exploring the complex intersection of professional ambition and romantic partnership. We unpack the "Success Identity," discussing how personal achievement (the "reaching of the mountaintop") can create silent tension at home when it is tied too closely to one's sense of self and dignity. In this episode, we unpack: * The "Hat" Problem: Why compartmentalizing business and marriage is often an impossible "glitch". * The 100/100 Dynamic: Moving past 50...
1 Apr 2026
14. Why He Just Shuts Down Instead of Talking
We recently discussed the complexities of relationships while watching Love is Blind Season 10, specifically focusing on a contestant's behavior. This particular individual, Devonte, showcased a pattern of distrust in his own decision-making, which led to emotional fatigue and analysis paralysis. In this episode, we deep-dive into the "West" direction of the Relational Compass. When a partner feels they can't make the "right" choice, they often choose to make no choice at all, leading to a st...
25 Mar 2026
13. The Hidden Reason Intimacy Disappears in Relationships
Does "being honest" with your partner constantly lead to defensiveness? In this episode, we dive into the East direction of the Relational Compass to explore why expressing needs in relationships often gets misconstrued as criticism. We break down the "Shadow East" pattern of Holding Authority—where the need to be right outweighs the need to be connected. You’ll learn how to shift from aggressive protest to the high-level communication skills of courageous vulnerability. Whether you feel misu...
18 Mar 2026
12. Your Childhood Survival Strategy is Killing Your Relationship
In this discussion, we explore how one's childhood experiences, particularly growing up with a single mother, can profoundly shape their perception of others' needs. For many high-achievers, "people-pleasing" or being "easy-going" was originally a survival strategy. However, in a committed partnership, this "South" pattern becomes a system glitch that leads to a slow erosion of trust. We dive into the subtle mindset shift required to move from merely observing to truly understanding, highligh...
11 Mar 2026
11. Why Being a Leader at Work Makes You a "Bully" At Home
If you’ve ever been called a "know-it-all," a narcissist, or felt like you were "lawyering" your partner, this episode is for you. High-achievers often rely on authority and "being right" to succeed in business, but that same strategy acts like quicksand in a relationship. When you prioritize your dignity over the connection, you aren't leading—you’re bulldozing. In this episode, we break down the "North" on the Relational Compass. We explore the psychology of self-awareness and how effective...
4 Mar 2026
10. Is It Intuition...Or Is It Anxiety?
So what's the deal? Is it intuition… or is it anxiety? This question shows up in nearly every relationship, especially when trust, fear, or old wounds get triggered. In this episode, we unpack: • The real difference between intuition and fear • Why your body can both guide you and mislead you • How old patterns masquerade as “gut instinct” • The danger of core negative beliefs about your partner • When to trust your alarm bell and when to interrupt it • How nervous system regulation changes e...
4 Mar 2026
9. If I Heal My Trauma, Will My Relationship Finally Work?
So if you heal your trauma, will your relationship finally be "fixed"? Not necessarily. In this episode of Love in Practice, we unpack why trauma work alone doesn’t automatically heal your relationship, and how the real issue often isn’t what happened to you, but the survival strategies you built around it. We explore how patterns like holding authority, preserving peace, control, defensiveness, and righteousness quietly shape your dynamic, even after years of therapy and self-awareness. You’...
18 Feb 2026
8. Why Communication Won't Fix Your Relationship And This Will
Why communication won’t fix your relationship and how nervous system regulation, trust, and pattern work actually create lasting change. 🧭 Take the Relational Compass https://www.lipcouples.com/compass 💛 Explore Together in Practice https://www.lipcouples.com/ Most couples believe they have a communication problem. They don’t. They have a nervous system problem. In this episode, we break down why better scripts, clearer language, and communication tools often fail to create real change. Whe...
17 Dec 2025
7. The Real Reason You Fight and How to Repair It
Conflict is going to happen in a healthy relationship. And more often than not, conflict starts with something laughably small – from doing dishes, to making food, and even how to decoratively light a podcast. But underneath the menial cause of conflict always lies a much deeper need that isn’t being met. This episode originally aired in February 2024 on Emily's podcast, Room to Grow as we unpacked a conflict we literally had in real time as we were trying to record this episode. Yes, s...
10 Dec 2025
6. The Silent Power Struggles Every Strong Couple Faces
Every strong couple has them. Those tiny, invisible battles that shape connection, safety, and trust. In this episode we break down the unspoken power dynamics that show up in even the healthiest relationships: the triggers, shutdowns, leadership clashes, and moments where love meets old wounds. This conversation is honest, grounded, and real. You’ll hear how two strong partners navigate emotional intensity, masculine/feminine energy, nervous system activation, and that push-pull dance betwee...
26 Nov 2025
5. The Savior Trap: How Over-Functioning Kills Intimacy
We're taking you back in time! This episode originally aired in December 2023 on Emily's podcast, Room to Grow as we unpacked two of the patterns of over-functioning that can show up in relationship and keep us from true intimacy. Longtime Room to Grow listeners may recognize these archetypes from an earlier, more playfully named episode. It’s tempting to want to play the role of “superhero” in a relationship – the guardian, the savior, the teacher, or the fixer. But over-prioritizing t...
19 Nov 2025
4. Why Couples Repeat the Same Fights & How to Break the Cycle
In this episode of Love in Practice, we dive into the hidden emotional patterns that quietly shape our relationships, often without us realizing it. From the subtle ways shame shows up, to the moments we flip into grandiosity, to the instinct to protect our inner child at all costs, we explore how these unconscious dynamics create the same painful cycles with the people we love most. We’re unpacking how conflict becomes a doorway into deeper intimacy when both partners can stay in their “adul...
11 Nov 2025
3. Hope After Heartbreak: Our Love Story
We're taking you back in time! This episode originally aired in September 2023 on Emily's podcast, Room to Grow. It was the first time we shared about our relationship, and we wanted to let you listen in so you can better understand right alongside us how love grows, shifts and evolves over time. We kept some of the original show notes below: My guest on this episode is my partner, Kelly Gardner. He and I met when he was a guest on this podcast (Room to Grow Episode #359 “Building A Comm...
11 Nov 2025
2. When Love Triggers Old Wounds
You can do all the healing work in the world, and then real love shows up to find out if you really meant it. This episode dives into the beautiful and brutal reality of what happens when old patterns meet new love, and when the very person you adore also triggers the parts of you you thought were long gone. We're sharing how we have navigated (and still are, in some cases), enormous transitions that tested our bond, as well as our individual capacity to stay grounded. Between moving countrie...
17 Oct 2025
1. The Practice of Love is the Point: Now the Real Work Begins
Perfection isn’t the point; devotion is. It’s our commitment to the practice of love that keeps bringing us back to each other, again and again, even on the hard days. In this opening episode of Love in Practice, we’re inviting you into the real, raw, and beautifully messy work of love. We’ll be sharing the highs, the lows, and the downright difficult moments that continue to shape us as a couple and as individuals. Together, we’re exploring what it means to stay devoted to love, not just in ...
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