by Stacey Herrera - Intimacy & Relationship Coach
Honest conversations about intimacy, desire, and relationships after 40. Sex in Real Life explores how connection, attraction, bodies, and relationships change in midlife and beyond, without shame or clichés. Instagram: @staceynherrera Subtack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Website: https://staceyherrera.com/
Language
🇺🇲
Publishing Since
9/18/2024
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July 1, 2026
<p dir="ltr">Bedrooms don't magically transform into dens of desire after dark. Especially after a full day juggling life sh*t. That's not how desire works—at any age, but especially in relationships beyond 40.</p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode, Stacey explores how the predictability we build to feel safe can drain the tension desire depends on. And how, after years of building a life together, it's easy to stop seeing one another as individual, complex, ever-changing humans.</p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <hr /> <p> </p> <p dir="ltr">🗳️ Share top suggestions for the show: <a href= "https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box">https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box</a></p> <p dir="ltr">💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: <a href= "https://www.sexinreallife.com/">https://www.sexinreallife.com/</a></p> <h2 dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/yes-no-maybe-workbook/">Get the free workbook</a></span></h2> <p dir="ltr">📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook">https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook</a></p> <p dir="ltr">📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind<br /> <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/">https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/</a></p>
June 24, 2026
<p dir="ltr">The desire to let go and be uninhibited during sex is pretty common. Yet most of us struggle with it, especially in marriage and LTRs.</p> <p dir="ltr">After 40, we assume the self-consciousness is about appearance. Bellies, butts, and love handles. But what if it's deeper than that?</p> <p dir="ltr">In this episode, Stacey explores how the identities we've spent years building might keep us guarded in bed.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p dir="ltr"><strong>Resources mentioned:</strong></p> <ul> <li dir="ltr" aria-level="1"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation"> <a href= "https://bookshop.org/p/books/sex-beyond-yes-pleasure-and-agency-for-everyone-quill-r-kukla/65c7121f2544e74c?ean=9781324134329&next=t&next=t">Sex Beyond Yes</a> by <a href="https://www.quillrkukla.xyz/">Quill R. Kukla</a></p> </li> </ul> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation">From the publisher: " Every discussion of sexual ethics revolves around consent, but is this notion enough to help us understand good sex? How does the dominance of consent help or prevent us from negotiating the complexities of intimacy and pleasure?"</p> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <hr /> <p> </p> <p dir="ltr">🗳️ Share top suggestions for the show: <a href= "https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box">https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box</a></p> <p dir="ltr">💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: <a href= "https://www.sexinreallife.com/">https://www.sexinreallife.com/</a></p> <h2 dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/yes-no-maybe-workbook/">Get the free workbook</a></span></h2> <p dir="ltr">📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook">https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook</a></p> <p dir="ltr">📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind<br /> <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/">https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/</a></p>
June 17, 2026
<p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">It's easier to believe the thrill vanished into thin air than to admit you left the room.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Staying in the room when you've been with someone for years is a tall order, especially in the age of endless attention grabs.</span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">In this episode, Stacey gets into how presence, not chemistry, might be what's actually missing.</span></p> <p><span style= "font-size: 12pt;"><strong> </strong></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><strong><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Resources mentioned:</span></strong></p> <ol> <li dir="ltr" style="font-size: 12pt;" aria-level="1"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation"><strong><span style= "font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://www.estherperel.com/">Esther Perel - Relationship therapist</a></span></strong></p> <ul> <li dir="ltr" style="font-size: 12pt;" aria-level="2"> <p dir="ltr" role="presentation"><span style= "font-size: 12pt;">Perel suggests, in many long‑term relationships desire hasn't disappeared; what's missing is the quality of presence and aliveness between partners. (Paraphrase inspired by her book <a href= "https://www.estherperel.com/mating-in-captivity">Mating in Captivity</a> and her <a href= "https://youtu.be/P2AUat93a8Q?si=sACcDzerxXZwMCmQ">TED talk</a>.)</span></p> </li> </ul> </li> </ol> <p dir="ltr"> </p> <hr /> <p> </p> <p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">🗳️ Share top suggestions for the show: <a href= "https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box">https://bit.ly/sexirlpod-suggestion-box</a></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">💌 Subscribe to the Sex IRL Substack: <a href= "https://www.sexinreallife.com/">https://www.sexinreallife.com/</a></span></p> <h2 dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Ready to Transform Your Intimate Conversations? <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/yes-no-maybe-workbook/">Get the free workbook</a></span></h2> <p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">📖 How Do I Tell Them I Have Herpes? A guide to having "the talk" without losing your cool (or your dignity). <a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook">https://staceyherrera.com/herpesbook</a></span></p> <p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">📖 How to Give Amazing Head: 10 Easy Tips to Blow His Mind</span><br /> <span style="font-size: 12pt;"><a href= "https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/">https://staceyherrera.com/how-to-give-amazing-head/</a></span></p> <p> </p>
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Honest conversations about intimacy, desire, and relationships after 40. Sex in Real Life explores how connection, attraction, bodies, and relationships change in midlife and beyond, without shame or clichés.
Instagram: @staceynherrera Subtack: https://www.sexinreallife.com/ Website: https://staceyherrera.com/
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