Love, Laughs, and Lessons

About Love, Laughs, and Lessons

Dive deep into the heart of human connections with the Love, Laughs, and Lessons Podcast. Dr. Frankie and Denise Rai lead an extraordinary journey, unraveling the mysteries of intimacy, relationships, and self-discovery. With empathy, humor, and vulnerability, this podcast explores the joys, challenges, and the 'vanilla' moments in romantic relationships, family bonds, friendships, and our vital relationship with ourselves.

Publisher

Loves, Laughs, and Lessons

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

9 Oct 2023

Latest episode

19 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

1 of 90 episodes have a transcript.

1. 

   19 Oct 2026

   The Best Sex After 50 | Menopause, Desire & Reinventing Intimacy with Karen Bigman

   What happens when we stop believing the myth that intimacy inevitably expires with age, and how do we rewrite rigid scripts around sex to cultivate the most fulfilling physical and emotional connection of our lives in midlife? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with Sexual Health Alliance certified sexuality educator and host of the Taboo to Truth: Life and Sex After 50 podcast, Karen Bigman. Karen shares how she became curious about the unspoken realities of menopause, andropause, desire, and communication after realizing that most midlife couples aren't broken. They simply never received the tools to navigate physical and biological shifts. Together, they dismantle the outdated "lips, nips, hips" script that treats intercourse as the only valid form of sex, exploring how physical changes, performance pressure, and decades of routine can cause one or both partners to pull away. The conversation dives deep into Karen's "Midlife Desire Shift" framework and her practical concept of "sex snacks," low-pressure gestures of touch, affection, and play that take the expectation of intercourse off the table to reduce anxiety and rebuild safety. They also address mismatched desire, navigating dating after 50, overcoming the shame surrounding midlife sexuality, and exploring everything from sensation play to open relationships and kink. What You'll Learn Why hitting menopause or midlife does not mean your sex life is over, and how shifting your mindset opens up possibilities for the best intimacy of your life. How to dismantle the traditional "lips, nips, hips" script and expand your definition of sex to include sensual touch, sensation play, kink, and deep emotional connection beyond intercourse alone. How to use "sex snacks," short, intentional gestures like a six-second kiss, a twenty-second hug, or a tender touch, to reintroduce intimacy without the pressure or anxiety of performance. The core pillars of the "Midlife Desire Shift" framework, addressing physical and biological changes, psychological roadblocks, emotional communication, and redefining what satisfaction looks like for long-term couples. Practical approaches to handling mismatched desire in midlife relationships, navigating conversations about sexual health and STIs without shame, and understanding why many men in their 50s and 60s are actively seeking conscious, sex-positive partners. Guest Bio: Karen Bigman Karen Bigman is a Sexual Health Alliance certified sexuality educator, midlife relationship coach, and the creator and host of the podcast Taboo to Truth: Life and Sex After 50. After navigating her own post-menopausal journey and midlife singlehood, Karen dedicated her work to breaking the silence around midlife desire, menopause, andropause, and relational disconnection. Through her podcast, educational courses, and coaching programs, she helps people replace shame with curiosity, navigate physical and emotional changes, and cultivate vibrant, authentic intimacy at any age. Connect with Karen Bigman Website: https://taboototruth.com (https://taboototruth.com) Podcast: Taboo to Truth: Life and Sex After 50 Special Offer & Resources Listeners can visit taboototruth.com to explore Karen's free resources, discover her courses for partners of women navigating menopause, and join the waitlist for her men's midlife coaching program.

2. 

   10 Sept 2026

   When Everyone Thinks He’s a Nice Guy: The Reality of Covert Narcissistic Abuse | Laura Richards

   What happens when you spend over three decades married to a man who makes you feel like every breath you take is wrong, and how do you rebuild your entire identity and sense of self from the bottom up? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with international podcaster, best-selling author, and speaker Laura Richards. Laura spent 33 years married to a covert narcissist—a "nice guy" in public who served the homeless and picked up tabs, but who systematically devalued her and left her walking on eggshells at home. After leaving her marriage, she finally found a name for her pain: narcissistic abuse. She turned her recovery journey into a lifeline for others, writing two best-selling books, Married to a Nice Guy and There is Hope, and hosting her hit podcast, That's Where I'm At. The conversation explores the mechanics of covert narcissism, love bombing, and the slow "drip, drip" of devaluation that erodes self-worth over decades. They delve into why religious spaces can sometimes harbor abusers under the guise of "staying and praying," how she strategically escaped her marriage, and why she firmly believes "if we're not dead, we're not done" in midlife. One of the most memorable moments is when Laura discusses her "bought the avocado wrong" post—perfectly capturing the exhausting, everyday reality of covert devaluation. What You'll Learn The critical difference between overt and covert narcissism, why covert abusers are so difficult to spot because of their helpful public personas, and how the slow "drip, drip" of devaluation leaves you walking on eggshells in your own home. Why love bombing at the beginning of a relationship floods your brain with chemicals that bypass logic, and the critical importance of slowing down and pacing yourself when dating to allow red flags to show up. The intersection of religious conditioning and abuse, why the church's emphasis on "staying and praying" or reconciliation can inadvertently keep survivors trapped in toxic dynamics, and how Laura navigated her own reverse discard. How to plan a strategic and quiet escape from a narcissistic partner, why keeping your plans completely private is essential for safety, and how covert narcissists often use financial control to prevent their partners from leaving. Why self-love and internal validation are the ultimate antidotes to narcissistic abuse, and why reclaiming your power in midlife means building a completely new, stronger version of yourself rather than trying to get back to who you used to be. Guest Bio: Laura Richards Laura Richards is an international podcaster, best-selling author, and speaker dedicated to empowering women after narcissistic abuse. She is the creator and host of the That's Where I'm At podcast, which has been featured on Google News, AP News, and Yahoo. Drawing from her own 33-year marriage, Laura is the author of Married to a Nice Guy: Getting Over Narcissistic Abuse and There is Hope: 52 Keys to Healing After Divorce. Today, she offers resources, speaking engagements, and one-on-one coaching to help women navigate midlife starting over and reclaim their power. Connect with Laura Richards Website: thatswhereimatpodcast.com Podcast: That's Where I'm At Podcast https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/ https://www.youtube.com/@thatswhereimatpodcast https://www.facebook.com/thatswhereimatpod/

3. 

   3 Sept 2026

   Living Out Loud & Modern Queer Dating | Michele Flamer

   What happens when you step out of an 18-year marriage into a modern dating scene you haven't navigated since your 20s, and how do you find a deep, slow-paced, and conscious connection in a world dominated by dating apps? In this episode of Love, Laughs & Lessons, psychologist Dr. Frankie Bashan and certified relationship coach Denise Rai sit down with entrepreneur, advocate, and host of the Living Out Loud podcast Michele Flamer to discuss modern queer relationships, midlife dating, and what it truly means to live out loud. Drawing from her own transition out of an 18-year marriage, Michele shares how she bypassed dating apps, worked with a shaman and a therapist for four years, and ultimately met her current partner, Liz, via TikTok DMs. Together, they dive into the mechanics of their long-distance relationship between Phoenix and San Diego, co-parenting their 14-year-old daughter like "rock stars," and how they use intentional tools like video messaging and relationship-building games to grow closer every day. The conversation explores what it means to be demisexual—needing an intellectual and emotional spark before a physical one—and how midlife dating in your 50s shifts your perspective on what is truly desirable. Michele unpacks why she warns against the "U-Haul effect," why a partner's lack of friends is a significant warning sign, and how speaking up from your "throat chakra" to state exactly what you need is the ultimate green flag for a lasting relationship. What You'll Learn Why chasing butterflies and intense early chemistry is often a sign of trauma-bonding, and why we should look for a calm, stable "steady f*** yes" connection instead. How to heal your throat chakra by expressing your boundaries, fears, and deal-breakers openly, and why collecting data early on prevents dating fatigue. What it means to be demisexual in the modern dating landscape, and why establishing a deep cerebral connection is the ultimate foreplay. Why having no friends is a significant relational red flag, and what healthy friendships teach us about our capacity for romantic partnership. Practical ways to use intimacy tools like the "We're Not Really Strangers" card deck to take the pressure off first dates and facilitate deep, authentic connection. Guest Bio: Michele Flamer Michele Flamer is a mother, entrepreneur, advocate, and lifelong connector with decades of experience in sales and leadership. She is the host of the Living Out Loud podcast and the co-founder of Relationship Ready Lesbians, an upcoming workshop curriculum designed to help women navigate midlife dating, build relational skills, and step into intentional connection. Grounded in her own journey of self-reflection and healing, Michele is passionate about helping people stop editing themselves down for the comfort of others and start showing up exactly as they are. Connect with Michele FlamerInstagram & TikTok: @relationshipreadylesbiansPodcast: Living Out Loud(Note: Listeners can follow her social channels to join the waitlist for her upcoming "Relationship Ready Lesbians" workshop series!)

Inside a recent episode

You Were Targeted Because You’re Amazing: Been There Got Out on Divorce, Legal Abuse & Survival

Published 29 May 2025 · Transcript excerpt

[…] Where were you when I needed you? Probably there. I'm telling you. We weren't there for ourselves when we needed us either right we didn't. But you're here now. I guess that's the bonus. We worry about the next way of people that's it. Yeah that's it that's it. I just think about that support group. I would have loved to have had that because I did feel like I was losing my mind and no one understood because on you know to what everyone saw we were perfect we were the perfect couple we had the perfect business we had the great kids you know Montessori school the whole and so when it went off the rails it was hard to believe that he was the problem you know I was part of the problem son. […]

Who has been a guest on Love, Laughs, and Lessons

Names identified in recent episode analyses. Showing up to five guests.

• Natalie Bedard
• Kim Sorrell
• Lisa Johnson
• Chris Barry
• Lizbeth Meredith

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

YouTube views

3,495,776

Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

1 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

3 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 75 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

89

Social presence

0

YouTube

93

Engagement

60

Contact Love, Laughs, and Lessons

Guest appearances

Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

Questions about Love, Laughs, and Lessons