Long-term relationships aren't always black and white. There are so many nuances that can have us questioning 'what the hell is going on?'. In this podcast, we'll explore the realities of being in a committed romantic relationship. Tune in if you're wanting real answers around real relationship problems - no taboos spared.
The Change You Seek in Your Relationship Starts with You
In this episode, we explore how meaningful relationship shifts often begin with subtle internal changes rather than big conversations or shared agreements. We look at what it means to take responsibility for our own resistance, reconnect with the playful parts of ourselves, and embody the energy we want to experience with our partner.
As we soften into this inner work, our partners naturally feel the shift - an organic invitation rather than pressure or control. And finally, we discuss when it’s time to bring these changes into conversation, especially if deeper values or lifestyle shifts are unfolding.
Chapters
00:00Introduction to Long-Term Relationships
03:05The Importance of Self-Reflection
05:08Creating Change in Relationships
08:03Internal Work Before External Change
12:00Understanding Conditioning and Beliefs
15:10Transforming Negative Patterns
18:42The Role of Self-Compassion
22:09The Power of Intuition
23:23Mirroring in Relationships
27:51Navigating Fear in Change
32:20Communicating Change to Your Partner
29 Nov 2025
What Really is Love? Defining the Undefinable
Join us in pondering what love really is in this episode of Love Under the Scope. We've all been sold a story by the media, society and our families around the term 'love'. We're shown endless images of grand gestures, passionate love making and star-crossed lovers-turned married soulmates living happily ever after. But what's there at a deeper level?
We'll take a deep dive on what's going on when we're really experiencing love. Plus, how to develop love from within and become a skilled "love-bender"
14 Nov 2025
When You Feel Like Your Partner's Parent…
In this episode, we tackle the hard truth around feeling like your partner's parent. Whether you're a man or woman listening, there's something here for you if you feel you are in this dynamic.
We'll get into:
What the parent-child dynamic is in a romantic relationship
How do we get into a dynamic like this
Steps for starting to address and unwind the dynamic
And hopefully, you'll walk away feeling a little less alone in your experience. Feeling like a parent to your partner is actually a common phenomenon. There are manageable, practical steps you can take to disengage from the dynamic and create more connection in your relationship.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Relationship Dynamics
04:05 Understanding the Parent-Child Dynamic
12:53 Exploring the Roots of Responsibility
30:17 Conditioning and Its Impact on Relationships
30:58 The Impact of Childhood Conditioning on Adult Relationships
42:54 Unwinding the Mother-Child Dynamic in Relationships
57:13 Building Awareness and Setting Boundaries for Change
7 Nov 2025
Your Relationship is Perfect and Nothing Needs to Change
We're constantly getting messages around why our relationship needs to be fixed and perfected. Social media tells us to compare and 'test' the love that we have with our partner. And the self-help world says that there is always something to be worked on.
I know I've felt like it's never enough, there is always something "wrong" that needs us to work our butts off to fix.
What if everything we ever desired was here right now, and we're here missing the forest for the trees. That's the topic of today's episode.
I'll get into why we might feel like we can't see the beauty in our current relationships. And I'll talk about why it's so important to see the love in our relationships with clarity and appreciation.
31 Oct 2025
How Self-Hatred and Criticism are Detrimental to a Relationship
In this episode, we discuss how self-hatred and inner criticism can quietly sabotage your relationships. That harsh inner voice that says you’re not enough doesn’t just affect your confidence - it shapes how you show up with your partner, too.
We explore where that voice comes from - childhood conditioning, societal pressure, and fear of rejection - and how it creates walls that block real connection. We wrap up by talking about how to move toward self-acceptance by meeting your thoughts with compassion, curiosity, and honesty, so you can start showing up in love from a place of truth instead of self-doubt.
24 Oct 2025
Why Are Breakups So Painful (And How to Move Forward)
Some breakups hit us like a truck. The deep well of emotion that we're faced with after a breakup can make us feel alone, rejected, helpless and lost (to name a few). We might wonder if we'll ever be happy again...
In this episode, we'll get into a few reasons why breakups are so painful. What about the dissolving of a long-term relationship is so earth-shattering. Why are we brought to our knees in some cases?
I'll also share some pointers for easing the process of emotional release that happens after a breakup. You'll learn a few ideas for supporting yourself in letting go and moving forward with the life you desire.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Love Under the Scope
03:33 Understanding Breakups and Their Pain
07:31 The Complexity of Breakups
21:12 Emotional Phases of Breakups
24:39 Strategies for Moving Through a Breakup
40:00 Finding Gratitude in Breakups
17 Oct 2025
Is it Possible to Reignite the Spark in a Long Term Relationship?
It's a question so many of us in relationships have asked: can you keep the passion alive, even after so many years together? The short answer is YES! The long answer is best captured by listening to the full episode.
We'll cover what that 'spark' actually is, how we lose it and how we can re-create and maintain the flames. The best part: you might be able to stir up some excitement that you've never felt in your relationship before!
3 Oct 2025
How to Give and Receive Comfort When Emotions Run High
In this episode of Love Under the Scope, we'll explore the complexities of emotional comfort in relationships. We'll get into the importance of understanding emotional triggers, how to offer and receive comfort during high emotional states, and the skills required to navigate these challenging moments. We'll also discuss the need for patience, practice, and open communication between partners to foster a supportive environment where both individuals can express their emotions without shame.
Takeaways
Facing difficult topics strengthens relationships.
Emotional triggers are common in all couples.
Offering comfort is about providing support, not fixing.
Receiving comfort requires vulnerability and openness.
Emotions should be allowed to flow without shame (within reason).
Communication is key in understanding emotional needs.
Self-reflection helps in identifying emotional triggers.
Partners should support each other through emotional states.
No emotion is permanent; they come in waves.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Love Under the Scope
03:02 Understanding Emotional Triggers
09:24 Offering Comfort to Your Partner
28:43 Receiving Comfort from Your Partner
42:47 Conclusion and Reflection
2 Oct 2025
You’re Not Mad at Your Partner For the Reason You Think
The source of your triggers with your partner might not be what you think. Often times, we default to projecting and blaming our partner for all of our problems.
News flash: that tactic isn't going to help you feel empowered as an individual or in your relationship.
In this episode, we'll explore the real source of triggers and how you can use inner work to address the issue at the root.
19 Sept 2025
How Your Beliefs About Men (and Women) Affects Your Relationship
Your core beliefs about the opposite sex inform the very foundation of your relationship and/or dating life. Frustrating patterns that come up for you over and over again around men (or women) can be traced back to childhood conditioning.
So, how do we form our beliefs? And how do we even know what we believe (since a lot of our beliefs are stored deep in the subconscious)?
Listen in to this episode and find out. I'll also discuss how we can work through limiting beliefs about the opposite sex and empower ourselves to create a more loving relationship with our partner.
12 Sept 2025
How to Handle Having a Crush Outside of Your Relationship
Developing a crush on someone outside of our relationship can be an uncomfortable experience. It's a situation that can lead to heavy feelings of shame, unworthiness and misunderstanding of ourselves.
The truth is, we are human beings with many layers. So many of us carry unhealed wounds from our childhood and past as a whole. Interestingly, those wounds and unmet needs can eventually lead to having a crush outside of our (happy) relationships.
Join me on this episode of Love Under the Scope to discover exactly where crushes come from and how we can move through them with self-compassion and clarity. And I've got great news for you: working through a crush can actually bring you closer to your partner.
5 Sept 2025
Why We Try to Control Our Partners (and How to Stop)
Control in relationships isn't something that only narcissists engage in. So many of us impose subtle, even subconscious, controlling behaviors on our partners. This type of dynamic can happen to the best of us - even those who mean well.
The truth is, we're demonstrated how to subtly control our partners by our parents, extended family, and society as a whole. Some of us use control as a way to appease our own anxiety - projecting our worries and fears onto our partner in an act of desperation.
So how do we unlearn this detrimental way of being and start to reconnect with love and compassion in our relationship? Tune in to this week's episode of Love Under the Scope to find out.
29 Aug 2025
How to Feel More Connected to Your Partner
In this episode of Love Under the Scope, we'll explore connection (and disconnection!) in relationships.
I'll start out by defining connection - what is it actually? Then, we'll get into why disconnection happens and how we can avoid it in the long-term. I'll share specific methods and practices that have worked for me in my relationship. Plus, my own personal experience of connection in my relationship and the eps and flows that we have experienced as a couple.
22 Aug 2025
Why Do I Feel Lonely in My Relationship?
Do you ever get that feeling of being alone, even when you're with your partner? Loneliness in relationships is a common phenomenon.
In this episode, we'll dive into how we can create our own sense of loneliness throughout our childhood - which then bleeds into our relationships. I'll give you insights on where the loneliness may stem from and how to address it in your relationship.
8 Aug 2025
How to Stop Getting into Toxic Relationships | Episode 5
In this episode, we explore what toxicity in relationships really means, how it develops, and why it’s not always about one “bad” person. We discuss the patterns and behaviors - often rooted in childhood - that can quietly erode connection, and the importance of owning our part in the dynamic. Through real-life examples, we look at how self-reflection and accountability can transform both our relationships and our relationship with ourselves. Finally, we share ways to move from draining, toxic cycles into healthy, supportive, and inspiring partnerships.
1 Aug 2025
Why We Self-Sabotage in Relationships (and How to Stop) | Episode 4
In this episode of Love Under the Scope, we’ll explore how self-sabotage can surface in long-term relationships and the childhood roots that often shape these patterns. We’ll look at the many ways the “inner saboteur” shows up—through criticism, withdrawal, comparison, or fear—and why it emerges even in loving partnerships.
We’ll reflect on how awareness and compassion can shift our relationship with this part of ourselves. By the end, you’ll gain tools to recognize, soften, and transform self-sabotaging tendencies into opportunities for deeper connection.
25 Jul 2025
Why Conflict is Normal in Any Great Relationship | Episode 3
Arguments are par for the course when we're in a long-term committed relationship. If we're trying to understand each other, there are going to be misunderstandings. But why does this conflict occur? In this episode, we'll explore exactly that. Tune in for a deep dive into why we get into arguments and challenging dynamics in even the best of relationships. You are not alone!
18 Jul 2025
How Sex Drive can Change in a Long-Term Relationship | Episode 2
Our desire for sex can vary greatly across relationships, especially when we meet someone that we feel fully safe with. In this episode, Kelby discusses her experience with sexuality from her dating years up into her current relationship of 7 years.
If you've ever questioned what was going on with your sexuality after entering into a long-term relationship, this conversation is for you.
10 Jul 2025
What to Expect from Love Under the Scope | Episode 1
In the very first episode of Love Under the Scope, host and certified relationship coach Kelby Lauren sets the stage for a raw, honest, and deeply personal exploration of long-term relationships. Kelby shares her vision for the show: to peel back the layers of what it truly means to be in a committed partnership—not the highlight reel we see on social media, but the messy, beautiful, and often challenging realities that happen behind closed doors. With vulnerability and insight, she reflects on her own six-year relationship, the self-work that’s fueled it, and the conditioning we all carry into love. From emotional triggers and intimacy to disconnection, arguments, and unconscious patterns, this episode invites listeners to rethink what a “healthy” relationship really looks like. Whether you're single, partnered, or somewhere in between, Love Under the Scope is here to shine light on the hidden corners of love—and to remind you that you're not alone in the struggle to love and be loved.
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Apple Podcasts (US)
4.7 / 5
14 ratings
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