Matthew, Mark, News and John

About Matthew, Mark, News and John

Matthew, Mark, News and John - the show where real dudes read news. We look at the weird news, the random and offbeat news from all around the world, the internet and your neighbourhood. Got a story for us? Get it into us MMNJPod@gmail.com and we'll make you podcast famous!

Publisher

Matthew, Mark, News and John

Category

comedy

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

18 Jan 2026

Latest episode

18 Mar 2026

Latest episodes

9 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   18 Mar 2026

   Episode #009 - The Children of the Claw

   This week Mark reveals that his only interaction with another human being in a week didn't go very well and John has more sandwich notions. We also have stories about children getting stuck in claw machines, weed and cash donated to a charity shop, camel beauty pageants, running butter and more! ____________________________________ TIME STAMPS AND LINKS 00:00 - Hello - the show starts here 01:00 - Mark vs An Post 07:40 - John needs an intervention about his sandwiches 09:50 - Weekly Weird Wupdates Intro 10:20 - Weed and Cash accidentally donated to charity shop (STORY (https://news.sky.com/story/bag-containing-cannabis-and-cash-left-in-donation-area-at-new-zealand-charity-shop-13517278)) 21:15 - Camel Beauty Pageant cheats! (STORY (https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/camel-pageant-scandal-oman-hump-injectables-b2932979.html)) 32:23 - Can you churn butter while running? (STORY (https://www.runnersworld.com/news/a70683169/how-to-make-butter-while-running/)) 42:56 - Is this Florida Man a pirate or a fugitive? (STORY (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/tommy-thompson-treasure-hunter-ship-of-gold-missing-coins-released-prison/)) 48:55 - Children of the Claw (STORY (https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/children-stuck-in-claw-machine-missouri-b2932173.html)) 57:54 - Weird unclaimed luggage items from 2025 (STORY (https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2026/03/09/Unclaimed-Baggage-oddest-lost-luggage-2025/2161773070054/)) 1:03:38 - Mr Bates, Serial Masturbator and the Toilet Brush of Shame (STORY (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6468529/Serial-public-masturbator-named-Mr-Bates-arrested-sex-act-New-Jersey-doctors-bathroom.html)) 1:07:26 - Reddit Seddit - have you ever been caught while "alone"? ________________________ Leave a comment below, and a 5 star review to be our best friend! You can also send us stories, say hello or correct us on anything to ⁠⁠MMNJpod@gmail.com⁠⁠ (mailto:mmnjpod@gmail.com) - we'll be sure to give you a shout out. Or, if you're feeling brave and want to hear yourself on our podcast - leave us a ⁠⁠⁠VOICENOTE⁠⁠⁠ (www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod) Socials: ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠ (www.tiktok.com/mmnjpod) ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ (www.instagram.com/mmnjpod) ⁠⁠⁠Reddit⁠⁠ (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/) ⁠⁠Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/@MMNJPod)

2. 

   11 Mar 2026

   Episode #008 - Is a Dolmio sandwich "boy kibble"?

   This week John makes us his comfort meal of a Dolmio toasted sandwich and as much as we want to give him shit about it, it turns out that "boy kibble" is a thing. We also have stories about Wrestling Speed Dating, Masturbating in court, a fight in a Waffle House over Hash Browns, Matt's hairy ears and Mark's encounter with a conspiracy loving taxi driver.__________________________________ Time stamps: 00:00 - Hello and welcome! 03:06 - Mark's brush with a conspiracy nut 11:00 - Matt's hairy ears stop his noise cancelling buds from cancelling noise 14:00 - John's Dolmio Sandwich ASMR 16:15 - Weekly Weird Wupdates 17:43 - Have you tried wrestling speed dating yet? (LINK (https://www.playboy.com/read/sex-relationships/gen-z-are-finding-love-through-wrestling-matches)) 27:52 - Masturbating in court isn't wrong if no one knows you're doing it. Allegedly. (LINK (https://abovethelaw.com/2026/02/masturbating-in-court-not-inappropriate-as-long-as-no-one-notices-prosecutors-argue/)) 39:25 - 62 year old man tasered and maced with bear spray in a fight over hash browns in a waffle house. (LINK (https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/waffle-house-fight-mace-bear-spray-zip-ties-nashville-b2923030.html)) 46:30 - Heard of "Girl Dinner"? How about "Boy Kibble"? (LINK (https://fortune.com/2026/03/01/what-is-boy-kibble-tiktok-trend-beef-rice-rfk-jr/)) 57:10 - Man dressed as a duck does stupid thing for Tiktok. (LINK (https://www.dublinlive.ie/news/world-news/man-dressed-duck-vandalises-train-33325770)) 1:07:05 - Reddit seddit - Do you fart in front of your partner? ________________________ Leave a comment below, and a 5 star review to be our best friend! You can also send us stories, say hello or correct us on anything to ⁠MMNJpod@gmail.com⁠ (mailto:mmnjpod@gmail.com) - we'll be sure to give you a shout out. Or, if you're feeling brave and want to hear yourself on our podcast - leave us a ⁠⁠VOICENOTE⁠⁠ (www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod) Socials: ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠ (www.tiktok.com/mmnjpod) ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ (www.instagram.com/mmnjpod) ⁠⁠Reddit⁠ (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/) ⁠Youtube⁠ (https://www.youtube.com/@MMNJPod)

3. 

   4 Mar 2026

   Episode #007 - The Rocky Road to Social Justice

   This week we have stories all about an influencer live streaming his partner giving birth, AI pants that count your farts, rotisserie chicken fight club, a fake kidnapping and no more butt plugs for the US Department of War! For shame! __________________________________ Time stamps: 00:00 - Intro, hellos and John finally has some news - but we're not having it. 09:11 - Weekly Weird Wupdates 10:00 - Weekly Weird Wupdates Wap (That's a rap with a W, not a moist lady garden.) 10:23 - Florida Man attacks Chinese restaurant claiming to be a Covid prophet. (LINK (https://www.fox35orlando.com/news/man-attacks-chinese-restaurant-over-covid-conspiracy-claim-deputies-say)) 13:05 - Fake kidnapping staged for a ransom of £725. (LINK (https://euroweeklynews.com/2026/02/27/two-british-men-arrested-in-benidorm-for-staging-fake-kidnapping-to-extort-725-ransom/)) 20:19 - The Department of War in the US has a butt plug problem. (LINK (https://www.uniladtech.com/news/adult-store-told-stop-selling-butt-plugs-pentagon-399267-20260107)) 32:36 - Influencer live streams the birth of his child for sponsorship! (LINK (https://rudevulture.com/influencer-banned-after-posting-videos-of-wifes-23-hour-childbirth-to-advertise-diapers/)) 41:11 - AI is in your pants and it wants your farts. (LINK (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-often-does-the-average-person-fart-scientists-built-a-device-to-find-out/)) 47:20 - Teacher punches woman in fight over rotisserie chicken. (LINK (https://www.oxygen.com/crime-news/ashley-murff-accused-of-sams-club-assault-over-rotisserie-chicken)) 57:26 - And finally... Does Ireland have a "Florida Man", and what myths and urban legends does Ireland have (Reddit segment) 1:09:37 - We did a show - bye now! ________________________ Leave a comment below, and a 5 star review to be our best friend! You can also send us stories, say hello or correct us on anything to MMNJpod@gmail.com (mailto:mmnjpod@gmail.com) - we'll be sure to give you a shout out. Or, if you're feeling brave and want to hear yourself on our podcast - leave us a ⁠VOICENOTE⁠ (www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod) Socials: ⁠TikTok⁠ (www.tiktok.com/mmnjpod) ⁠Instagram⁠ (www.instagram.com/mmnjpod) ⁠Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/) Youtube (https://www.youtube.com/@MMNJPod)

4. 

   25 Feb 2026

   Episode #006 - Nursing Home Fight Club

   This week we have stories all about a Japanese man who had his penis removed to serve it to 5 people for dinner, a booby trapped drug dealer's houses, and a fight club organsied by terrible staff at a nursing home! These, more weird news and Mark has another stressful train journey! __________________________________ Time stamps: 00:00 Mark meets his doppelganger and "No News John" strikes again. 05:23 - Weekly Weird Wupdates (Matt tries a new intro) 07:25 - Astronaut falsely accused of hacking a bank account from space! 15:27 - Day-care worker charged with giving toddlers laxatives! 30:40 - Nursing home staff accused of running fight club with Dementia patients! 39:38 - You can now fill a dildo with the ashes of your lost love one! 46:48 - A drug dealer rigs stash houses with Home Alone style booby traps! 57:55 - Japanese artist cooks and serves his own genitals! 1:05:35 - Two more penis stories (Of course there is) 1:09:25 - What did we learn this week? 1:14:40 - We did a show - bye now! ________________________ Leave a comment below, and a 5 star review to be our best friend! You can also send us stories, say hello or correct us on anything to MMNJpod@gmail.com - we'll be sure to give you a shout out. Or, if you're feeling brave and want to hear yourself on our podcast - leave us a VOICENOTE (www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod) Socials: TikTok (www.tiktok.com/mmnjpod) Instagram (www.instagram.com/mmnjpod) Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/)

5. 

   18 Feb 2026

   Episode #005 - Incest by proxy

   This week we've got stories about terrorising turkeys, weird shoplifting lists, dating twins at the same time and more! Time stamps: 00:00 - Intro, hellos, printers and fighting human sized fish. 07:25 - Weekly Weird Wupdates Intro 08:28 - Turkeys gone wild 12:45 - Man steals a lot (a lot) of meat and "personal items" and arrives home to find his girlfriend cooking with another man. 17:25 - A woman is dating identical twins at the same time, and everyone seems ok with it. 32:22 - Winter Olympic Penis injections - why? 40:25 - Teacher resigns after watching porn in class 44:00 - Sponsors and goodbyes! As always, thanks so much for listening. Leave a comment below, or a voice note and we'll shout you out. Send us a story or just say hi - we'd love to hear from you. Find us everywhere: TikTok (tiktok.com/mmnkpod) Reddit (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/) Instagram (instagram.com/mmnjpod) Email (mailto:mmnjpod@gmail.com)

6. 

   11 Feb 2026

   Episode #004 - A Bidet in the life

   Send us a voice note ⁠⁠ (https://www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod)with your stories, feedback or shoutouts and take part in the poll below! This week we've got stories about billionaires who obviously have more money than sense, (and Matt shares a personal penis pump story) fake laws and urban legends from Ireland including Leprechauns being protected species and a man having a WWI artillery shell removed from a place it definitely shouldn't have been. And of course listener feedback and comments! All of this and much more, get stuck in. If you have a story you'd like to share, whether it's from the world, your local area or your own life: ⁠⁠Email us⁠⁠ (mailto:mmnjpod@gmail.com) ⁠⁠Reddit us⁠⁠ (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/) ⁠⁠Voice note us⁠ (https://www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod) ⁠Instagram us (instagram.com/mmnjpod) Time stamps: 00:00 - Hello! 10:23 - Weekly Weird Wupdates 12:20 - Billionaire dies from penis enlargement attempts 26:45 - Fake Irish laws and urban myths 29:00 - Leprechauns are protected species? 33:30 - Man has artillery shell removed from his anus 43:35 - Heavy metal fans are the most faithful 51:40 - Listener comments and feedback

7. 

   3 Feb 2026

   Episode #003 - When is it scrotum?

   Send us a voice note ⁠ (https://www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod)with your stories, feedback or shoutouts! We start off with listener feedback from the last episode, and somehow end up asking if we stand up or sit down to wipe ourselves! (With a poll below for you to take) Then we have stories about masturbating walruses, bald sexual harassment and a restaurant specialising in serving death row prisoners' last meals. All of this and much more, get stuck in. If you have a story you'd like to share, whether it's from the world, your local area or your own life: ⁠Email us⁠ (mailto:mmnjpod@gmail.com) ⁠Reddit us⁠ (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/) ⁠Voice note us (https://www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod) Instagram us (instagram.com/mmnjpod)

8. 

   27 Jan 2026

   Episode #002 - Trap my Bishop

   Send us a voice note (https://www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod)with your stories, feedback or shoutouts! Economies preparing for Alien invasions, Irish words and phrases that have made it into the Oxford dictionary, and a woman who nearly got cremated but woke up just in time! Mark gives insight into his stand up comedy, John gets beaten up by a child and Matt hates that people have to pee. All of this and much more, get stuck in. If you have a story you'd like to share, whether it's from the world, your local area or your own life: Email us (mailto:mmnjpod@gmail.com) Reddit us (https://www.reddit.com/r/MMNJPod/) Voice note us (https://www.speakpipe.com/mmnjpod)

9. 

   18 Jan 2026

   Episode #001 - Can't park there, mate.

   The pilot episode of our show. Rough in every sense! But we've got stories about MRI's, James Taylor getting arrested and a man stealing the bus that didn't show up to bring him home! Thanks so much for listening, liking and following it means a lot! If you have a story to share, comment below or drop us a mail to MMNJPod@gmail.com

Contact Matthew, Mark, News and John

Guest appearances

Does not typically book guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.