Meditate with Danny

About Meditate with Danny

Guided meditations for when you're spiritually curious, emotionally fried, and not here for the fake calm bullshit. Welcome to your new favourite corner of the internet, where deep breaths meet deep belly laughs, and your healing journey wears black eyeliner and probably swears a little. This is not your typical floaty voice, crystal bowl, love-and-light-only meditation space (although hey, we love a crystal or two). This is for the ones who’ve been through some real shit, who are healing from heartbreak, burnout, grief, or just their inbox… and want a meditation practice that feels like a hug and a high five, not a lecture. Expect: Grounded mindfulness with zero pressure to be perfect A little sass, a little swearing, and a lot of honesty Equal parts science, soul, and “wtf is even happening” Real talk from your bestie who’s been there, and is still figuring it out Content warning: These episodes include strong language, the occasional F-bomb of enlightenment, and themes that go deep. Listener discretion, and an open heart is advised. So light a candle… or don’t. Close your eyes… or don’t. Just show up exactly as you are. That’s all we ask. Now, let’s fucking meditate.

Publisher

Podcasts by Danny Painter

Category

health & fitness · religion & spirituality

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

7 Apr 2025

Latest episode

21 Apr 2026

Latest episodes

9 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   21 Apr 2026

   Calm Me Before I Kill Someone (I’d Look Shit in Orange)

   Hey babe. Welcome back to Meditate with Danny, where we breathe through the bullshit before we become the subject of a Netflix true crime doc. Today’s meditation is for those moments when the rage is hot, your eye is twitching, and one more stupid sentence from one more stupid person might genuinely make you consider how quickly you could disappear a body. No judgment. We’ve all had the thought. But before we catch a case, ruin the skincare routine, and discover prison orange makes us look washed out… we’re gonna breathe. Because we are far too hot for handcuffs. Obviously this isn't about actual murder, just hate.

2. 

   14 Apr 2026

   I fucking hate my job breathwork

   Hey babe. Welcome back to Meditate with Danny, the sweary little corner of the universe where we breathe through the bullshit instead of rage-applying for jobs at 2 a.m. Today’s meditation is for anyone whose job is currently testing their sanity, their boundaries, and possibly their blood pressure. Maybe it’s the inbox. Maybe it’s the meetings that should’ve been emails. Maybe it’s the boss who thinks “just circling back” is a personality. Or maybe you’re just tired of selling your nervous system for a paycheck. Fair. So before we dramatically quit, shave our heads, and move to a vineyard where we sell candles and artisanal olives, let’s regulate the body first. Because your job gets your hours, babe. It does not get your soul. Don't be an idiot and listen to this while driving. But maybe do send this to your boss for come real corporate wellness team building bullshit.

3. 

   7 Apr 2026

   Kicking Anxiety in the Balls

   When your brain is spiralling and your nervous system is acting like it’s being hunted for sport. This spicy guided meditation is for the moments when anxiety barges in like fake breaking news and suddenly everything feels urgent, terrifying, and deeply personal. Together we slow the breath, unclench the jaw and the ass, reality-check the spirals, and lovingly remind your nervous system that the tiger is imaginary and the email can fucking wait. n this episode: Emergency down-regulation breathwork Body softening and nervous system grounding A reality reset for spiraling thoughts Mantras that put you back in the driver’s seat Sweary elder-millennial comfort with zero fake zen bullshit ⚠️ Content Warning: Strong language, emotionally honest truths, and repeated kicks to the metaphorical balls of panic. Come as you are: panicky, overthinking, doom-spiraling...by the end, you’ll feel calmer, clearer, and way less likely to let fear hijack your day.

4. 

   1 Apr 2026

   Just fucking forgive.

   A guided meditation on forgiveness, especially when you don't wanna. So, light a candle… or don’t. Close your eyes… or don’t. Just show up exactly as you are. Content warning: These episodes include strong language, the occasional F-bomb of enlightenment, and themes that go deep. Listener discretion and an open heart is advised. Don't listen while you drive, obviously. Now, let’s fucking meditate.

5. 

   25 Aug 2025

   Letting Go of Heartbreak (When It Still Fucking Hurts)

   For the ones holding shattered pieces. Whether it's a breakup, a death, or the slow, quiet ending of something you swore would last, this meditation is for you. Not the polished, pretty version of you. The crying-on-the-bathroom-floor, scrolling-old-texts, rage-singing-to-Adele version. In this guided meditation, we don’t bypass the pain or sugarcoat the grief. We breathe through it. We scream a little inside. We visualise, release, and whisper some spicy mantras to stitch our hearts back together, one deep, messy breath at a time. What to expect: Grounded breathwork to soothe your nervous system A raw, honest visualization to face and release the pain Woo-woo meets elder millennial sarcasm Zero judgment, strong language, and real fucking healing Content Warning: This episode contains strong language, big emotions, and vulnerable truths. Listener discretion, and some tissues, is advised.

6. 

   18 Aug 2025

   Letting Go When Your Boss Pisses You Off

   Strong language. Deep breaths. Slightly feral energy. You know that moment your boss sends that email? The one that makes your jaw clench, your soul leave your body, and your inner peace pack its bags and go on strike? Yeah. We’re meditating through that today. This is your guided rage-release, sass-infused, elder millennial meltdown recovery meditation. Expect breathwork, visualization, some woo-woo, some anti-woo, and more “fuck off” energy than your HR department would approve of. Perfect for: Workday rage Sunday Scaries Post-meeting fury Anyone who’s screamed internally during a Zoom call You’ll laugh, breathe, and maybe chant “I release the bullshit, I keep the paycheck.” Warning: Strong language, intense truth bombs, and meditative sarcasm ahead. Not safe for corporate headphones unless your boss is cool. Which… clearly they aren’t.

7. 

   26 May 2025

   A Guided Meditation to Ground & Manifest

   This is the meditation you turn to when you’re ready to come home to yourself, and call in everything that’s meant for you. In this guided meditation, you’ll be guided through a deeply grounding and energetically expansive journey. We’ll root into the body and the earth, then rise into alignment with your highest desires, health, love, purpose, abundance. This isn’t about chasing. This is about remembering. Remembering your power. Your worth. Your ability to receive with ease. Ground your nervous system Anchor into safety, certainty, and presence Activate your manifestation frequency Align with the version of you who already has it all This meditation is a spell, a prayer, and a portal. You don’t have to become, you already are. Listen with headphones. Light a candle. Let it be a ritual. You’re not just manifesting a life.. you’re becoming it. Music Credit: Freesound.org Disclaimer: Not a substitute for medical care. Do not listen while driving.

8. 

   7 May 2025

   Healing the Body: A White Light Energy Meditation for Deep Restoration

   This isn’t just a meditation, it’s a full-body energetic reset. In this powerful guided session, you’ll be gently led through grounding breathwork and a deep white light healing journey to reconnect with your body, restore balance, and release stored tension, pain, and emotional weight. Whether you’re feeling drained, disconnected, or simply in need of gentle support, this is your space to soften, to breathe, and to come home to yourself. Activate healing from the inside out Clear stagnant energy and emotional heaviness Reignite self-trust, vitality, and cellular repair Soothe the nervous system and step back into your power Let the white light pour through you. Let it cleanse. Let it renew. You don’t need to fight your body, this is where you begin to love it back into wholeness. Music Credit: Muyo5438 – freesound.org Disclaimer: This meditation is for relaxation and support only. It is not a substitute for medical care. Do not listen while driving or operating machinery.

9. 

   7 Apr 2025

   Breathe Into the Life You Desire

   Welcome to the first episode of Meditate with Danny, a sanctuary for transformation, healing, and deep self-connection. In this powerful guided meditation, we begin with grounding breath-work and slowly move into a space of intentional manifestation. Through box breathing, visualisation, and embodied presence, you’ll be guided to release what no longer serves you and call in the life you truly desire; health, love, happiness, and purpose. This isn’t just a meditation, it’s a reclamation. A remembering. A return to your power. So find a quiet space, press play, and let me hold you through the journey. Please Note: Do not listen while driving or operating machinery. This meditation is intended for deep relaxation and should be experienced in a safe, quiet environment. This episode is not a replacement for medical or mental health care, always consult your doctor or therapist for guidance. Music Credit: Muyo5438 – freesound.org

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Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.