About Men and Sex: Unlocking Power, Pleasure, and Purpose. ⚔️
This podcast explores the complexities of male sexuality, examining how testosterone, modern influences like the internet, and the drive to procreate shape the lives of men. We air out the "dirty laundry" and bring skeletons out of the closet in real, unfiltered conversations about sex, pleasure, and vitality. As men openly share their journeys, their lives transform—and so can yours.
Tune in to break through old patterns, gain deeper insights, and reclaim your power.
Follow on Instagram @seedingmasculinity
Email to be a guest: menandsexuality@gmail.com
#92 — The 5 things 30 Men Taught Me About Sexual Shadow:
Most men are carrying sexual wounds they've never named.
And until it gets named — out loud, in a room full of other men — it just keeps running the show.
In this episode I'm taking you inside the first ever Reclaiming the Lover event. A 3-day experiential training I co-facilitated through The ManKind Project, designed to take initiated men deeper into their sexual shadow and help them reclaim their erotic energy as something sacred rather than something to hide.
What I witnessed in that room changed me.
Because here's what became undeniable across 30 men of different ages, backgrounds, and sexual orientations: the wound underneath is almost always the same.
The great epiphany from this event was this.
Every man fell into one of two camps. The ones who over-express their sexuality — chasing, performing, consuming, never feeling full. And the ones who under-express it — shutting down, going numb, avoiding, disappearing into themselves.
Different behaviors. Same root. Fear of rejection. Fear of not being lovable.
And until a man sees that clearly, he will keep running the same unconscious mission without ever knowing it.
In this episode I share:
The over-expression and under-expression divide — and why both are the same wound wearing different masks
What it felt like to be in a room with gay, bi, and straight men all facing the same core pain
The moment I understood what women feel around predatorial masculine energy — and how it changed my perspective
Why almost every man in that room received little to no real sexual education — and what filled that gap instead
The pattern I kept seeing of men who cannot ask for what they want because they are terrified of hearing no
What happens when a man finally names his sexual shadow in front of other men
Why this conversation can no longer wait
This is not a how-to episode.
It is an honest account of what happens when men stop hiding and start telling the truth about their sexuality. And what becomes possible when they do.
Join the Men's Sexual Confidence Community
A community for men who are ready to stop performing, stop hiding, and start living from their actual desires.
👉 Join here: https://www.skool.com/men-rising/about
30 Sept 2026
#91 — Sweet Spot Between Nice Guy and Macho Man
Most men are performing in the bedroom instead of feeling.
And that performance pressure — the tension, the monitoring, the desperate need to get it right — is the very thing killing the turn on.
In this episode I sit down with Sapphire Leela — sex and relationship coach and therapist in training, working with men across Europe, Israel, and the UK — for a deep and honest conversation about what's actually happening when men struggle in the bedroom.
And here's the first thing she makes clear:
👉 It's never just about sex.
In this conversation we explore:
Why performance pressure creates tension — and how to move from tension into turn on
How a man's identity is tangled up in his sexuality — and what happens when that identity feels threatened
Why the cock is often experienced as a representation of the man himself
Why vulnerability is a turn on — and why being fully exposed takes more courage than most men realize
Why sensitive men are often afraid to break boundaries — and what that costs them
How to drop into the body and actually feel instead of think
Why we need a powerful, grounded voice to counteract the manosphere — one that tells men there is another way
The nervous system's role in sexual identity and finding the sweet spot
The bad boy question — why women are turned on by the bad boy, and what's actually happening beneath that attraction
The difference between activation and arousal — and why growing up around unstable masculine energy makes the familiar feel like desire
The dichotomy that changes everything: the macho man activates. The nice guy comforts. Neither alone is enough.
Why the sweet spot — the man who blends the grounded strength of the macho with the emotional availability of the nice guy — is what women are actually hungry for
That last point is worth sitting with.
The bad boy doesn't turn women on because he's bad.
He turns them on because he activates their nervous system — and activation gets confused with arousal.
But activation without safety isn't intimacy.
It's just familiarity dressed up as desire.
The man women actually want isn't the nice guy who abandons himself to please her.
And he isn't the macho man who uses dominance to avoid vulnerability.
He's the man who can hold both.
Strong enough to lead. Open enough to feel. Present enough to be fully there.
That's the sweet spot.
And this episode is a map to finding it.
🎧 Listen to Episode 91 now.
Connect with Sapphire Leela:
🌐 Website: https://www.sapphireleela.com/ (https://www.sapphireleela.com/)📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/intimacy.with.sapphire/ (https://www.instagram.com/intimacy.with.sapphire/)🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/sapphireleela (https://linktr.ee/sapphireleela)
Join the Men's Sexual Confidence Community
If this episode stirred something and you want to go deeper into identity, nervous system, and becoming the man who holds both strength and vulnerability — this is that space.
A community for men who are done performing and ready to actually feel.
👉 Join here: https://www.skool.com/men-rising/about
9 Sept 2026
#90 — The simple stepping stones for non ejaculatory orgasms
What if the best sex of your life is still ahead of you?
Jim Benson is having the best sex of his life in his mid sixties.
Not despite his age.
Because of the practices he's spent twenty years developing and teaching to men.
In this episode I sit down with Jim Benson — founder of Awakened Masculine, certified Tantra teacher, and a man who has spent over two decades helping thousands of men overcome performance anxiety, sexual shame, and self-doubt through practical, embodied tools that actually work.
This conversation goes far beyond technique.
It's about fundamentally changing your relationship to pleasure, arousal, and what's actually possible in your body.
The foundation Jim keeps coming back to:
Presence.
Not as a concept. As a practice.
Most men are somewhere else during sex. In their head. Monitoring performance. Anticipating the finish line. Anywhere but actually here — feeling what's happening in their body right now.
And here's what Jim has discovered after twenty years of working with men:
👉 Pleasure and sensation are one of the most powerful presence practices available. Just like yoga. Just like meditation. But the focus is on what feels good — and learning to stay there.
The other thing that will change how you think about sex:
Your turn on is an electric rod.
You can learn all the techniques in the world. But the thing that will light your partner up the most is your own genuine relationship with arousal. Your own aliveness. Your own presence in the pleasure.
That's not something you perform.
It's something you cultivate.
In this conversation we explore:
Why presence is the foundational tool for a better sex life — and how pleasure trains it
Why men struggle to slow down — and why slowing down is the key to everything
The dopamine problem — why high stimulation makes subtlety feel boring and how to recalibrate
How your own turn on and arousal directly impacts your partner's experience
What non-ejaculatory orgasms actually are — and why they're available to every man
Jim's three step process for becoming non-ejaculatory and multi-orgasmic:
What you can practice on your own vs. with a partner
How to genuinely hone your personal practices to show up better in the bedroom
Why Jim is having the best sex of his life in his mid sixties — and what that means for every man listening
This episode isn't about lasting longer as an end goal.
It's about expanding what's possible.
A sex life where orgasm isn't the finish line. Where pleasure isn't localized to one place. Where your body becomes a full instrument of sensation, presence, and connection.
That's what Jim has spent twenty years helping men build.
And it's available to you.
🎧 Listen to Episode 90 now and begin expanding what you thought was possible.
Connect with Jim Benson:
🌐 Awakened Masculine — https://awakenedmasculine.com/📸 Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/awakenedmasculinebyjim/
Join the Men's Sexual Confidence Community
If this episode opened something up and you want to go deeper into embodiment, presence, and practices that actually transform your sex life — this is that space.
A community for men who are done settling for ordinary and ready to discover what's actually possible in their bodies.
👉 Join here: https://www.skool.com/men-rising/about
Who has been a guest on Men and Sex: Unlocking Power, Pleasure, and Purpose. ⚔️
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Karen Bigman
Brenton Rueger
Adam Bear
Ellie Tsai
Stefan Fitzer
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