Mentoring IRL

About Mentoring IRL

Discover how transformative mentoring relationships are built from both sides of the table. Whether you're looking to guide others or accelerate your own growth, this podcast reveals the art and science behind meaningful mentorship. Each episode combines actionable strategies with compelling real-world stories, showing you how to navigate difficult conversations, set clear expectations, and create lasting professional relationships that benefit everyone involved. From first-time mentors learning to give effective feedback to ambitious mentees maximizing every interaction, we explore what separates good mentoring from great mentoring—and how both parties can thrive in the process.

Publisher

Mentoring IRL

Category

business

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

29 Sept 2025

Latest episode

28 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

40 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   28 Sept 2026

   Ep #39: Gossip: One Way to Destroy a Team's Trust

   Contact Us: mentoringirl@gmail.com (mailto:mentoringirl@gmail.com) Summary Angela noticed the same problem surfacing across four unrelated teams in a single week: corrosive gossip. In this unscripted conversation, she and Bill dig into the critical difference between venting—getting emotion off your chest as a first step toward resolution—and gossip, which is talking about someone with the intent to damage their reputation rather than ever addressing them directly. Bill shares a mentoring tool for separating "what actually happened" from the story we invent about it, and both agree that unresolved conflict leads people to silently label coworkers, poisoning future interactions and draining energy that could go toward the work itself. The takeaway: gossip is corrosive because it replaces real conversation with a fabricated narrative that never gets resolved. The fix is choosing to talk to people, not about them, and owning your own reactions instead of blaming others for how you feel. In This Episode Gossip is pervasive across teams from multiple industries The key distinction between venting (processing emotion as a first step) and gossip (talking about someone with intent to damage their reputation) Why venting alone doesn't solve anything… it's the starting point, not the destination Bill's mentoring technique: separating "what actually happened" from "the story you told yourself about what happened" A classic self-improvement exercise of drawing two circles ("your story" and "what happened") to find the truth in a conflict How unresolved gossip lets people mentally "label" a coworker, poisoning every future interaction Bill's take: you don't have to like your teammates, but you're responsible for behaving professionally with them Recognizing whether a conversation is meant to vent or to solve, before it starts Why you can't blame others for your own emotional reactions; you choose how you respond Key Takeaways Gossip aims to damage someone's reputation; venting aims to process emotion en route to a real conversation Venting is a necessary first step, but stopping there solves nothing Focus on what was actually said or done, not the story you've built around it Unaddressed conflict causes people to silently label coworkers, eroding trust and slowing teams down You're responsible for behaving professionally with teammates, even ones you don't personally like No one "makes" you feel a certain way—you choose your response, and that choice is yours to own Naming the kind of conversation you want up front—venting or solution-focused—can defuse tension Talk to people, not about them, if you actually want to resolve a conflict Resources Mentioned Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus by John Gray — https://www.johngray.com/ (https://www.johngray.com/) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (referenced: Habit 1, "Be Proactive") — https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/ (https://www.franklincovey.com/the-7-habits/) Who Should Listen? Team leads and managers dealing with gossip or low-trust dynamics on their team, anyone who's caught themselves venting about a coworker without ever talking to that person, and professionals looking for practical language to distinguish venting from gossip in their own conversations.

2. 

   14 Sept 2026

   Ep #38: How to Disagree with your Boss

   Contact us: mentoringirl@gmail.com (mailto:mentoringirl@gmail.com) Disagreeing with Your Boss: How to Push Back Without Damaging Trust What do you do when you disagree with your boss or customer? Speaking up can feel intimidating, particularly when the other person has significantly more authority or when the disagreement occurs in front of others. In this episode, Angela Falcini and Bill Bonwit explore how mentors can help people navigate these difficult conversations. The goal isn't to “win” an argument. It's to understand the situation, contribute your perspective, find the best solution, and strengthen the relationship along the way. Reframe Disagreement as Problem Solving Disagreement doesn't have to be combat. Instead, approach it as collaborative fact-finding. Rather than trying to prove the other person wrong, seek to understand their reasoning and constraints. That mindset can reduce anxiety and make it easier to have a productive conversation. Remember: discomfort is normal. As Bill emphasizes, getting comfortable being uncomfortable is part of growing as a leader. Practical Tactics for Productive Pushback Get curious first. Ask questions such as, “What's driving the timeline?” or “How did we land on this approach?” Genuine curiosity may uncover information you don't have—budget constraints, executive commitments, deadlines, or other factors influencing the decision. Separate the person from the position. You can strongly disagree with an idea while remaining respectful toward the person presenting it. Acknowledge their concerns. Try identifying what you believe is driving the decision. This demonstrates that you've considered their perspective and gives them an opportunity to clarify. Present concerns as questions, not verdicts. Instead of saying, “I think this is the wrong direction,” try, “Help me understand how this holds up if X happens.” Questions invite collaboration rather than defensiveness. Bring an alternative. Don't simply identify a problem. Offer a potential path forward. Even an imperfect alternative demonstrates that you're invested in solving the problem rather than simply criticizing the decision. Use the power of silence. After making your case, give your boss time to process what you've said. Resist the temptation to immediately fill the silence or soften your position. Listening carefully—and allowing the other person to finish—can take much of the tension out of the conversation. Be prepared to accept “no.” Your boss may have information you don't have or may simply weigh the factors differently. If you've presented your concerns thoughtfully and the decision remains unchanged, that isn't a failure. Successfully voicing your perspective can actually build trust for future conversations. Learn From Every Disagreement The real development comes after the conversation. Mentors should encourage mentees to ask: What worked? What surprised me? What would I do differently next time? Mentees can also build confidence by observing experienced leaders handle disagreement in real time. Watching how a leader manages tone, pacing, questions, and awkward moments can teach lessons that no framework can fully capture. The Bottom Line: Build Trust Productive disagreement is ultimately about trust. When your boss knows that you're pushing back because you genuinely want the organization and team to succeed—not because you simply want to be right—your credibility grows. The objective isn't to win the disagreement. It's to understand, contribute, and help the organization succeed.

3. 

   24 Aug 2026

   Ep #37: Character Follows You Everywhere (The Enduring Trait of Doing the Right Thing)

   Contact Us: mentoringirl@gmail.com (mailto:mentoringirl@gmail.com) Summary Bill and Angela dig into one of the core values their former organization built its culture around: "Do the right thing." While avoiding illegal, unethical, or immoral choices seems obvious, most real-world decisions are far more nuanced, involving no clear "right answer," just competing priorities around a project, a customer, or a company. They explore why integrity, not intelligence or title, is what actually earns trust, and share practical tools (like the Newspaper, Sleep, Mentor, and Legacy tests) for navigating tough calls. The takeaway: your reputation isn't built in easy moments.. it's built in the difficult ones, one small choice at a time, and character is the competitive advantage that outlasts every title or paycheck. In This Episode Why "doing the right thing" became a core organizational value, illustrated by Medal of Honor recipient Britt Slabinski's split-second decision under fire The difference between clear-cut ethical/legal decisions and nuanced ones with no obvious "right" answer A real story of a consultant who "fired" a client to protect a long-term trusted relationship over short-term revenue Four practical tests for evaluating tough decisions: the Newspaper Test, the Sleep Test, the Mentor Test, and the Legacy Test How small compromises ("just this once," "no one will notice") erode integrity over time Why doing the right thing often requires courage and humility: speaking up, admitting mistakes, saying no to authority Navigating decisions where reasonable people disagree (the Apple vs. Microsoft office example) and the importance of disagree-and-commit Daily habits that build a trustworthy reputation over a career Key Takeaways Competence earns respect; character earns trust (and trust is the foundation of every successful relationship) Not every "right" decision is a moral one; many are simply a choice among options with no single correct answer, shaped by your position in the organization Use the Newspaper, Sleep, Mentor, and Legacy tests to pressure-test a hard decision Integrity is rarely lost all at once; it erodes through small, seemingly harmless exceptions Doing the right thing sometimes means the harder path: speaking up, admitting mistakes, or saying no to someone with more authority When a decision doesn't go your way and it wasn't unethical, the right move is to disagree, then commit. It’s not to disengage or quietly quit Simple daily habits (keeping promises, admitting mistakes quickly, telling the truth, treating people with respect) compound into a lifelong reputation People remember how you treated them and whether they could trust you far longer than they remember your projects or titles Resources Mentioned Britt Slabinski, Medal of Honor recipient, Master Chief Special Warfare Operator — https://www.cmohs.org/recipients/britt-k-slabinski (https://www.cmohs.org/recipients/britt-k-slabinski) Who Should Listen? Anyone navigating career decisions where the "right" answer isn't obvious—early-career professionals building their reputation, managers and leaders making calls that affect teams and customers, and anyone who wants practical, actionable frameworks for making decisions they can stand behind.

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Apple Podcasts (US)

4.5 / 5

8 ratings

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Books guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.