Messy Middlescence

About Messy Middlescence

Like adolescence – "Middlescence" is a time of tremendous change touching most aspects of our lives. There are the physical and hormonal changes but also many of the rhythms, relationships and frameworks that have dominated our lives for decades all start to shift in ways that are unbalancing at best – seismic at worst. Our podcast will explore the challenges and opportunities of these unique “middle” years. However – ours will be different because it is one of sharing, exploring and figuring things out together. It is "messy" because we do not have answers but we hope to discover some. We hope to motivate and / or guide listeners to actively change both their perspective and day-to-day reality of this unique time. We also aim to create a supportive connected community of listeners with similar struggles and questions. We truly hope you will join us!

Publisher

Tara (Conti) Bansal and Christina (Conti) Donovan

Category

business · education · health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

20 Dec 2023

Latest episode

6 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

71 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   6 Oct 2026

   Season 4 Premiere: What Does It Mean to Transform?

   It is hard to believe, but today we launch Season 4 of Messy Middlescence with our 63rd episode! As we have done for the past few seasons, we begin by looking back at our respective summers. We describe the highlights and moments that will stay with us as we move into cooler weather and the more structured/scheduled days of fall. We also introduce our new theme of “Transformation” for the upcoming season. We discuss how we landed on this theme, along with some of our reservations and concerns about taking on such a big topic. Much of our conversation revolves around what transformation actually means and the different ways we might explore it in future episodes. Some of the questions we consider include: What is the difference between transition and transformation? Can a transition become a transformation? What are the many ways transformation can occur? Can transformation be negative — and what might that entail? Does our “essential self” change when we transform, or can transformation actually bring us closer to who we truly are? Can we experience an internal transformation that isn't visible to others? Can we transform without “blowing up” our lives? How does self-improvement differ from transformation? Does midlife make transformation easier or more difficult? We also share examples of transformation - or what we think might qualify as transformation - from our own lives and the lives of people we know. Transformation is a big topic to take on as a theme, and we admit we are more than a little intimidated by it. BUT we are also excited and curious to see where it takes us. We hope you will join us on our journey this season as we explore transformation in all its forms. And for this season, at the end of each episode, one of us, or our guest, will share something that is bringing us joy right now. We hope it will encourage all of us to notice a little more of the joy present in our everyday lives.

2. 

   25 Aug 2026

   Little p's (Re-release) and The Power of Small Experiments

   As we continue to revisit some earlier episodes of Messy Middlescence this summer, we're bringing back an episode from Season #2 called "Little P's." It explores an idea that seems to keep showing up for us: maybe we don't need to figure out one big Purpose for our lives. Maybe we need to pay closer attention to the smaller things that interest us, bring us joy and are curious about. Tara is currently reading Range by David Epstein, which explores the value of experimenting, trying different things and bringing knowledge and ideas from one area into another. It feels especially relevant today, when there is so much pressure to specialize early and become increasingly good at one particular thing. We encourage our kids to choose their sports, majors and careers, while as adults we can become increasingly comfortable just staying with what we already know and do well. What if, instead, we allowed ourselves to experiment? Particularly during middlescence, when so much in our lives may already be changing, perhaps we don't need to have everything figured out before deciding what comes next. We can try small things, notice what gives us energy and joy, and use that information to guide us. Think of them as little life experiments. In the original episode, Tara and Tina discuss a podcast episode from The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos about finding purpose. One of their biggest takeaways was the distinction between finding one big Purpose with a capital P and discovering the many little p purposes that can give our lives more meaning and joy. Finding one big purpose can feel daunting and overwhelming. Instead, what if we paid attention to the things we enjoy doing, the things that make us lose track of time, or even the things we loved when we were younger? Our little p's don't have to change the world, become a career or make us money. They can simply be things that make our lives richer and more enjoyable. In this episode, Tara and Tina discuss: letting go of the pressure to discover one singular purpose; paying attention to the activities, interests and people that fill us up rather than drain us; looking back at childhood interests for clues about what might still bring us joy; using the "spaghetti method" — trying different things and seeing what sticks; giving ourselves, and our children, permission to explore rather than specialize too quickly; finding ways to make room for our little p's even when work and other responsibilities consume much of our time. Perhaps most importantly, we don't have to know where an interest will lead before we pursue it. We can take a class, try a new hobby, pick up the instrument, meet someone new or follow something simply because we're curious. And then pay attention. Did you enjoy it? Did it give you energy? Do you want to do it again? Sometimes the best way to figure out what we want isn't to think about it more. It's to try something and see what happens. What little life experiment(s) would you like to try?

3. 

   6 Aug 2026

   Err on the Side of Presence (Re-release)

   We decided the summer break is an ideal time to re-release some earlier Messy Middlescence episodes. Maybe you are a new listener and unfamiliar with our earlier seasons. Or, perhaps you are a long-time listener but some topics may resonate differently if you choose to re-listen. Our first re-release is the opening episode of Season #2 titled "Err on the Side of Presence". The theme for Season #2 was grief -- in all the different forms it can take and all the different ways it can affect us. The catalyst for this season's theme and opening episode was the very sudden death of a close friend of Tina and her husband. We think this episode has many important messages not just about death and grief but also about living a life full of connection and meaning. Season #2 of Messy Middlescence begins with a heavy and difficult topic: grief. It may seem like an odd choice for a season opener but Tina’s family and community experienced an unexpected and tragic loss just a few weeks ago. It was a personal reminder that these middlescence years are often full of painful and sorrowful events. We may encounter the loss of — not just older family members — but of friends, neighbors or colleagues. It caused us to think deeply and personally about how do we get through difficult times of grief and loss? How do we help people we care about who have suffered a devastating loss? This past January, a guest essay was published in The New York Times titled, “Train Yourself to Always Show Up” by Rabbi Sharon Brous. This essay, which is excerpted from her book, The Amen Effect, made a profound impression on both Tara and Tina. It was an article and topic they had planned to discuss in the future, and in light of the recent personal circumstances, the timing felt right to begin the season with these topics. In this episode, Tina and Tara discuss and explore the beautiful words and ideas from Rabbi Brous’s article, which can act as a guiding light for those in middlescence. These include: the importance of fighting the natural instinct to withdraw - regardless of whether you are the one grieving or the one trying to support someone grieving; the need for community and bearing witness both in joy and in suffering; how losing a friend differs from losing a family member; the loss of rituals and traditions around grief in modern society and its implications for both individuals and communities. This episode is the first of several that will attempt to tackle these difficult and painful topics.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

4 ratings

Spotify

5.0 / 5

4 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 52 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

80

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

60

Contact Messy Middlescence

Guest appearances

Does not typically book guests

Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.

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