We rarely get to hear how people actually make relationships work, especially in the high-pressure, fast-paced world of tech. While there's endless dating advice out there, what's missing are the real, unfiltered stories of how ambitious people navigate modern relationships and build a life together.
Unlike every other aspect of modern life that can be solved with an app or outsourced to a service, building meaningful relationships remains stubbornly resistant to quick fixes. Through conversations with leading relationship thinkers and candid interviews with real couples, we dig into the raw truth of what it takes to make partnerships work - from the challenges and fights to the breakthroughs and lessons learned along the way.
I believe we learn best from seeing how others have navigated similar paths. These conversations offer honest perspectives on what it really takes to make modern relationships work in our corner of the world.
Hosted by Erik Torenberg, investor and entrepreneur.
Modern Relationships is part of the Turpentine podcast network.
Strong Magnet Theory: Attracting Your Ideal Partner with Joyce Zhang, High Performers Dating Coach
This week, Erik talks to dating coach and former Stripe engineer Joyce Zhang and reveals her strategic dating frameworks and explains why people's standards are too low (not high). She introduces her controversial "hardball" filtering technique, and argues that dating apps work excellently with proper strategy—but self-love remains the biggest bottleneck.
Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co
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SPONSOR: Relationship Hero
It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session.
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LINKS:
Joyce Zhang Substack:
https://thejoycezhang.substack.com/
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FOLLOW ON X:
Joyce - @thejoycezhang
Erik - @eriktorenberg
Turpentine - @turpentinemedia
Chapters
00:00:00 Intro and Preview
00:02:30 Journey to Becoming a Dating Coach
00:03:32 What is Dating Strategy?
00:04:09 Why Dating Apps Actually Work
00:05:34 The "Inbox Zero for Hinge" Method
00:07:02 Common Profile Mistakes
00:09:21 Strong Magnet vs. Weak Magnet Theory
00:11:00 Why People's Standards Are Too Low
00:12:56 Communication Strategy After Matching
00:14:36 Sponsor - Relationship Hero
00:16:11 Live Swiping Sessions with Clients
00:21:00 Three Core Dating Problems
00:23:04 North Star Feelings Framework
00:29:35 Limiting Beliefs in Dating
00:35:53 Feeling Like a "Commodity" on Apps
00:39:00 The Stable Marriage Problem
00:47:00 Attachment Theory as a Crutch
00:49:05 Joyce's 5-Step Coaching Framework
00:56:03 MECE Compatibility Framework
01:00:54 Building a Dating Academy
01:02:51 Biggest Bottleneck: Mindset vs. Tactics
01:0:42 The Needle in a Haystack Problem
01:07:01 Wrap
9 May 2025
Triggered to Transformed with Art of Accomplishment's Joe Hudson and Tara Howley
This week, Erik sits down with Joe Hudson and Tara Howley, the extraordinary couple behind Art of Accomplishment, whose coaching has helped CEOs like Sam Altman. They share their journey from a toxic relationship to a deeply connected partnership, offering personal stories, practical strategies, and insights on how self-growth, therapy, and commitment to transformation can foster resilient, loving relationships.
Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co
--
SPONSOR: Relationship Hero
It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session.
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LINK/S:
Art of Accomplishment: https://www.artofaccomplishment.com/
Joe and Esme — The Teenage Years: https://youtu.be/Eg70lbiElrI?si=bK-8FB-bzYh6HqL1
How to Be a Parent (Without Messing Everything Up) | Joe Hudson and Nathan Baschez: https://www.artofaccomplishment.com/podcast/how-to-be-a-parent-without-messing-everything-up-joe-hudson-and-nathan-baschez
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FOLLOW ON X:
Joe - @FU_joehudson
Erik - @eriktorenberg
Turpentine - @turpentinemedia
Chapters
00:00:00 Preview and Intro
00:01:48 Disclosure
00:02:54 Welcome Joe and Tara
00:03:01 How Joe and Tara Met
00:13:03 Early Challenges and Growth
00:14:11 The Role of Self-Development
00:16:39 Navigating Relationship Dynamics
00:17:14 Sponsor: Relationship Hero
00:18:49 Transformation and Trust
00:27:10 Marriage Requirements and Challenges
00:28:27 Evaluating a Life Partner
00:30:27 Trade-offs and Compromises in Marriage
00:35:57 The Importance of Being Seen
00:43:11 Triggers and Personal Growth
00:44:53 Grieving and Moving On
00:46:55 Choosing the Right Partner
00:53:54 Life Changes and Marriage
00:55:18 Wrap
25 Apr 2025
Lindsay Taub & Harley Finkelstein: How to Build a Ride or Die Partnership
In this episode, Erik sits down with Harley Finkelstein and Lindsay Taub, partners of 15 years. Harley, Shopify's president, and Lindsay, a psychotherapist and entrepreneur, discuss their speed dating origin story, balancing radical acceptance with growth, and redefining work-life balance while raising two daughters together when your job is all-consuming.
Modern Relationships is a podcast from Turpentine. Learn more: www.turpentine.co
--
SPONSOR: Relationship Hero
It’s an open secret in Silicon Valley that people are using relationship coaches. Sign up for 1-on-1 relationship coaching (from anywhere) at RelationshipHero.com/modern. Get $50 off your first session.
--
Shopify: https://www.shopify.com/ph
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FOLLOW ON X:
Harley - @harleyf
Erik - @eriktorenberg
Turpentine - @turpentinemedia
Chapters
00:00:00 Preview and Intro
00:01:39 Disclosure
00:02:45 The Speed Dating Origin Story
00:04:47 Early Relationship Challenges
00:07:27 Deciding to Move In Together
00:10:25 True Partnerships and Taking Chances
00:13:26 Sponsor: Relationship Hero
00:15:07 Building Success Together
00:17:55 Relationships Are Constantly Evolving
00:19:24 Relationship Role Models and Date Nights
00:23:09 The Value of Couples Therapy
00:24:45 Finding a Partner: What Doesn't Work
00:26:28 The Importance of Sharing Life Goals
00:29:09 Intentionality: "How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything"
00:34:16 Raising Kids and Money
00:39:00 Teaching Gratitude and Philanthropy
00:43:21 Parenting by Example
00:48:25 The Key to Relationship Longevity
00:52:00 Incorporating Work and Life
00:54:37 Accepting Your Partner While Encouraging Growth
00:58:27 Wrap
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
YouTube views
3,747,715
Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025
Apple Podcasts (US)
4.6 / 5
8 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 60 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
71
Social presence
0
YouTube
93
Engagement
32
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