My Vicious Love

About My Vicious Love

Let's shake things up and dive into something completely different. Forget everything you thought you knew and join us on an exciting adventure. We'll explore the twists and turns of emotions, desires, and vulnerabilities that shape our romantic and intimate lives. This journey isn't just about discovering new perspectives; it's about challenging old ones. As we delve into the complexities of love, sex, and relationships, expect to be captivated by stories that are as enlightening as they are thought-provoking.

Publisher

Draden Cruz

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

Yes

First episode

18 Jun 2023

Latest episode

14 Jul 2026

Latest episodes

25 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   14 Jul 2026

   Do We Ever Really Get Over An ex?

   That’s the question Rachel Holley and I ask in this week’s episode of My Vicious Love. Everybody tells you to move on. Heal. Let go. Find closure. But what if healing isn’t about forgetting? What if it’s about learning to carry the experience without letting it carry you? We get into all of it—the nights crying on the floor, the drinking, the promiscuity, the self-sabotage, the anger, the obsession, the loneliness, and the uncomfortable reality that heartbreak doesn’t just make you lose a relationship. Sometimes it costs you friends. Family. Your identity. Sometimes it introduces you to parts of yourself you didn’t even know existed. Rachel and I also talk about our four-year friendship and how, oddly enough, getting over our exes is what brought us together. Some of the strongest connections you’ll ever build are with people who simply understand your pain without needing you to explain it. For me, I’ve stopped looking at my exes as chapters I’d rather forget. They’re books on the shelf of my life. Every once in a while, I pull one down, reread a few pages, remember who I was, appreciate how much I’ve grown, and then put it back where it belongs. Not because I want them back—but because every one of those stories helped build the person I am today. This isn’t an episode about getting revenge. It’s not about pretending you’re over it. It’s about asking the question most people are too afraid to answer honestly: Do we ever really get over an ex… or do we simply become someone who knows how to live with the memories?

2. 

   8 May 2026

   LOVE PURG

   This week on My Vicious Love, we step into the in-between. The gray area. The emotional waiting room that happens after heartbreak, trauma, loss, addiction, failed relationships, family wounds, and the moments in life where you’re no longer who you were… but not quite who you’re becoming yet. This episode, Love Purgatory, features my dear friend Ryan Carrillo, someone I’ve shared over a decade of friendship, chaos, growth, healing, and life lessons with. Together, Ryan and I unpack what it means to live in emotional limbo — those moments where you’re questioning everything. Do you stay? Do you leave? Do you forgive? Do you start over? Do you keep loving people who hurt you? Do you finally choose yourself? We talk openly about trauma in relationships, trauma within our families, addiction, self-worth, survival, and the complicated process of rebuilding your life while still carrying pieces of your past. Ryan speaks candidly about his personal journey with the realities of overcoming destructive cycles, and how fatherhood completely transformed the way he views purpose, accountability, and love. We also dive into his evolution as a professional athlete and entrepreneur — from professional roller skating to building a beautiful life and business for himself out in Joshua Tree. We discuss what it really looks like to pursue growth while still navigating personal dilemmas, emotional baggage, and the pressure of adulthood. What makes this episode special is that it doesn’t pretend healing is linear. It’s honest. Sometimes hilarious. Sometimes heavy. Sometimes uncomfortable. There are moments where we laugh until we can’t breathe, and moments where we sit in truths that a lot of people are too afraid to say out loud. But underneath all of it is a conversation about resilience — about learning that the “middle ground” in life is not weakness. Sometimes it’s actually where your greatest strength is built. Love Purgatory is for anyone who feels emotionally stuck between chapters. For the people healing while still hurting. For the people trying to become softer without becoming weak. For the people learning that survival and healing are two completely different things.

3. 

   20 Apr 2026

   RELATIONSHIP-ITIS

   This week on My Vicious Love, we’re talking about something I like to call Relationship-itis—that messy, in-between space where you want love… but you’re not exactly ready to act like you do. You’re craving connection, intimacy, consistency—all the things that come with a real relationship—but at the same time, you’re still holding onto your freedom, your options, your… chaos. And yeah, we’re gonna say it plainly: you want the relationship, but you’re not ready to stop being outside. I’m joined by Amy and Eden, and we really get into it—from every angle. Male perspective, female perspective, gay, straight—no boundaries, no filters. We talk about what it actually feels like to be single right now, the emotional rollercoaster of dating, and that constant push and pull between wanting something real and not wanting to give up your independence. Because let’s be honest, it’s not just about other people—it’s about the battle happening inside you. We get into the ugly parts too. The ghosting, the mixed signals, the almost-relationships, the “what are we?” conversations that go nowhere. All of it starts to stack up until you hit that point where you’re just exhausted. You’re like, “I’m done. I don’t want this anymore.” So you lean into being single, you get a little jaded, a little colder… but then that feeling creeps back in. The one that still wants love, still wants partnership, still wants something deeper. And that’s really what this episode is about—the gray area. That space where you’re torn between two versions of yourself. The one that wants to be free, and the one that wants to be chosen. The one that’s tired of the game, but still somehow playing it. It’s messy, it’s honest, and it’s probably a little too real. So if you’ve ever felt stuck between “fuck this” and “I want forever,” this one’s for you.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Apple Podcasts (US)

5.0 / 5

2 ratings

Spotify

4.4 / 5

29 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 29 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

38

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

50