Nearly Mindful

About Nearly Mindful

Nearly Mindful is where I share simple ways to bring mindfulness into everyday life through short reflections and guided meditations. Small doses, real life, something you can actually use. www.microdosedmindfulness.com (https://www.microdosedmindfulness.com?utm_medium=podcast)

Publisher

Janet Fouts

Category

education · society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

1 Apr 2019

Latest episode

16 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

75 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   16 Oct 2026

   What If You Listened Before Deciding What to Say?

   Have you ever caught yourself planning what you’re going to say while someone else is still talking? I have. How about you? We hear something that sparks an idea, reminds us of a story, or makes us want to offer advice. Before we know it, we’re putting together our response, and the person in front of us is still talking. We’ve stopped listening. Or maybe we’ve decided we already know where they’re going with this. We’ve heard enough to get the gist, right? Except we haven’t. Not always. In fact, probably not nearly as often as we think. I notice this a lot at networking events. Someone is talking about what they do, while the person they’re talking to is looking over their shoulder, searching for someone else to connect with. After all, there are business cards to collect and hand out, right? I wonder what they might have learned if they’d actually listened. Just listen.One of the simplest mindfulness practices I use when someone is speaking is to mentally say to myself, remind myself, Just listen. That’s it. Not “What can I say to help?” Not “How can I fix this?” Not even “How can I show them I understand?” Just listen. This becomes especially important when someone has a lot to say. You know those conversations where you wonder if the other person is ever going to come up for air?Yeah. Those. I find it helpful to remind myself that perhaps this person needs to be heard more than they need my response. Maybe they’ve been carrying something around for days, weeks, or even years. Maybe they’re figuring out what they think as they’re saying it. Who am I helping if I interrupt them before they’re finished? In my work, people occasionally tell me I’m a good listener. What’s interesting is that I may not have said much at all. I haven’t necessarily reflected anything back to them or offered some brilliant insight. I’ve simply held space for them to express themselves without interrupting. And that can be enough. A lot of the time, it’s exactly what they need. Just to have their say and know someone heard them. No fixing, no advice. When listening becomes another thing we’re trying to do right Reflective listening is a practice where we listen to someone and then reflect back what we think we’ve heard. Not necessarily their exact words, but what we understood them to mean. And sometimes we get it soooo wrong! But that’s useful, too. It gives the other person a chance to correct us, to explain something differently, or to say, “No, that’s not quite what I meant.” Now we’re having a conversation. It’s a valuable skill, and I use it in my work, particularly in conflict management and mediation. But I’ve noticed that we can get so caught up in practicing reflective listening that we forget to actually listen. Someone shares something difficult, and we’re already preparing our response. We interrupt with a reflection before they even pause. “So what I’m hearing you say is...” Hang on. What if they weren’t finished? What if they were just getting to the part that really matters? Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is let someone finish, even when it takes longer than we’d like. Of course, that doesn’t mean every conversation has unlimited time or that we have to sit there indefinitely. There are moments when it’s helpful to say, “Can I stop you for a second? I want to make sure I’m understanding what you’re telling me.” Then we reflect what we think we heard and give the other person an opportunity to correct us. That’s a conversation. We’re working together to understand something, rather than competing to get our words in. When listening really mattersThink about sitting in a doctor’s office.The doctor starts explaining something, perhaps using medical terms we’re unfamiliar with. Then we hear a word that frightens us. Cancer… Surgery… More tests… Suddenly our minds are racing. What does that mean? How serious is it? What’s going to happen next? Meanwhile, the doctor is still talking.We might nod, say we understand, and leave the appointment only to realize we missed half of what was said. I’ve seen this happen when working with caregivers and patients. When we’re worried about what we’re hearing, our minds can race ahead, and we lose track of what’s actually being said. This is where mindful listening becomes more than a nice interpersonal skill. It becomes something practical and important. We can stop the conversation. “Wait a minute. I want to make sure I understand what you just said.” Or, “Here’s what I think I heard. Is that correct?” We can ask the doctor to explain something again, in simpler terms. We can take notes. We can ask questions. We don’t have to pretend we’ve understood everything just because someone in a position of authority has finished speaking. The same thing happens at work. Imagine being called into HR and told that things are changing. Your mind immediately starts running through the possibilities. Am I losing my job? What did I do? What happens now? You may be so busy preparing for the worst that you don’t actually hear what’s being said. This is when that little reminder becomes useful again. Stop. Take a breath. Just listen. Then ask what you need to ask. Being heard changes the conversationOne of the things that draws me to mediation and conflict management is how often people enter difficult conversations convinced that the other person isn’t listening. A lot of the time, they’re right. But here’s the thing. They probably aren’t listening either. When we’re in conflict, it’s easy to double down on what we believe. We dig in our heels, determined to hold our ground. Both people are busy preparing their arguments. They’re collecting evidence, rehearsing responses, and waiting for an opening. Neither feels heard. What would happen if one person decided to listen all the way through before responding? Not to agree. Not to surrender their position. Just to understand what the other person is actually saying. We don’t have to agree with someone to hear them. We don’t even have to like what they’re saying. But if we’re going to have a meaningful conversation, there has to be room for both people. That means both people need the opportunity to speak, and both need to be willing to listen. Otherwise, we’re just taking turns making speeches. When was the last time you felt truly heard? I want you to think about that for a moment. When was the last time someone listened to you without judgment, without trying to fix anything, without looking for an opening to tell you their own story? Someone who wasn’t waiting to speak. Someone who simply let you finish. What did that feel like? We talk a lot about holding space for people. To me, this is what it looks like in everyday life. Being present enough to let someone have their say. Noticing when our own thoughts are pulling us away. Knowing when a question will help and when it can wait. It’s not always easy. I still catch myself getting ready to respond before someone is finished. But now I have a little reminder that brings me back. Just listen. The next time you’re in a conversation, see if you notice the moment your mind starts preparing what to say. You don’t have to do anything special. Just come back to listening. You might be surprised by what you hear. Get full access to Microdosed Mindfulness at www.microdosedmindfulness.com/subscribe (https://www.microdosedmindfulness.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

2. 

   8 Oct 2026

   Maybe You're Already Doing It

   Back in the 1980s, I tried really hard to learn how to meditate. I’d sit diligently, following my breath, focusing on the flame of a candle, trying to quiet my busy mind. I even tried Transcendental Meditation for a while. I really wanted it to work. The trouble was, I expected something pretty remarkable to happen. Some big shift in how I felt, how I thought, or how I experienced the world. When that didn’t happen, my enthusiasm petered away. I figured maybe meditation just wasn’t for me. Sound familiar? Maybe you found a teacher who inspired you. You read the books, went to workshops, even attended a retreat and came home feeling wonderful and determined to make mindfulness part of your everyday life. The shock of reentering the real world after a 1 week retreat is all over the place. It’s HARD. Daily life is busy. You missed a morning meditation, then a few more. Eventually that lovely practice you’d started slowly faded away. When we don’t keep up a practice, it’s easy to feel like we’ve failed. Especially when we haven’t experienced the big payoff we were hoping for. We don’t see it right then, but we’re likely looking for the wrong kind of payoff? What I didn’t notice at the timeEven after I’d quit practicing regularly I was still studying. I’m fascinated with learning how our minds work, why we do the things we do, (or not) and how we can make life a little easier for ourselves and the people around us. Little by little, I absorbed what worked for me in my everyday life. I noticed when I was reacting out of habit. Seeing when my thoughts were distracting me from what was actually happening. I was more aware of how I listened to people and could sit with them without thinking about how to fix everything before they asked. There was no grand awakening, but small changes in how I experienced my life. Over the last ten years, I’ve continued collecting those little discoveries, learning from some wonderful teachers, and how to make what I’ve learned useful in my own life. Eventually, I started sharing those practices in workshops and with clients, helping people find what works for them rather than asking them to fit themselves into a particular method. Surprise! That was what I’d been missing all those years ago. I thought mindfulness was something I had to do. Something I needed to make time for, be consistent with, and eventually get good at. It took a while to realize that mindfulness is about how we meet the life we’re already living. A little goes a long way There’s plenty of research showing that mindfulness and meditation practices can make a real difference (https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/meditation-and-mindfulness-effectiveness-and-safety). Programs like Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction have helped people manage stress and anxiety, and researchers have studied how regular meditation affects the brain. I find the research fascinating, particularly the work of neuroscientist Richard Davidson, who has studied the brains of highly experienced meditators, including one of my favorite teachers, Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. The findings are remarkable, absolutely, and they’re also a little daunting. Mingyur Rinpoche has devoted an enormous part of his life to meditation. I’m not going to become him, and neither are most of us. We have jobs, families, responsibilities, and lives that need our attention. Most of us aren’t going to spend months on a meditation retreat. In many of his teachings he emphasizes “Short times, many times.” I love that. Here’s someone who’s spent thousands upon thousands of hours practicing meditation, reminding us that we can begin with just a few moments of awareness. His meditation community has a lovely article about bringing meditation into everyday life (https://blog.tergar.org/blog/how-to-meditate/how-often-should-i-meditate/), including the value of both formal practice and those brief moments of awareness throughout the day. We can learn from his experience without expecting to duplicate it. We don’t have to eat the whole enchilada to enjoy a good meal, right? Drop by dropHere’s how you can work with this. A moment of awareness can interrupt an old habit. It can give us a chance to pause before saying something we’ll regret, recognize that we’re worrying about something we can’t actually control. We can realize we’ve been so busy thinking about tomorrow that we’re missing what’s happening today. Without those moments, we tend to run on autopilot, repeating familiar patterns without remembering that we have agency, choice. Of course, I love meditation now, and I know the value of a regular practice. But I also know mindfulness doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing proposition. Plenty of people live with a great deal of awareness without making mindfulness the focus of everything they do. Maybe you’re one of them. That’s really how I came to practice mindfulness in tiny doses. One little drop of awareness can create a ripple. Another drop creates another. Over time, those ripples can influence how we respond to life, how we relate to other people, and how we see ourselves. * A tiny moment of kindness creates opportunities for others to pass kindness to others. * Sitting with a friend and listening with full attention encourages them to do the same for someone else. * Authentic gratitude works the same way. It’s why I created Microdosed Mindfulness® (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/jfouts/microdosed-mindfulness-reflection-cards-for-real-life?ref=8enz3n), to make it easier to bring a little more awareness into our everyday lives, without feeling we have to commit huge amounts of time, or find another hour in an already busy day. Not to replace meditation or the deeper practices that have so much to offer, but to give people a way to begin. Or begin again. So if you’ve tried mindfulness before and it didn’t stick, perhaps you haven’t failed at anything. Maybe you’ve already picked up more than you realize. No catching up to do. No mindfulness police checking your attendance. Just one small moment of awareness. Then another, whenever you remember. Get full access to Microdosed Mindfulness at www.microdosedmindfulness.com/subscribe (https://www.microdosedmindfulness.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

3. 

   29 Sept 2026

   When You’re Stuck, Start Here

   You can be stuck deciding whether to go back to school. Stuck in a job you’ve outgrown. Stuck wondering whether it’s time to leave a relationship, move across the country, start something new, or finally do the thing you’ve been talking yourself out of for years. You can definitely be stuck in being stuck. It’s a vicious loop. * Why can’t I just make a decision? * What is wrong with me? * I should have figured this out by now. * And my fav: Just DO it! Spinning about it doesn’t help much, does it? That’s likely why you haven’t moved yet. We’re afraid of making the wrong choice, and hey, there may be real risks involved. Part of you may want change, and another part wants the safety of the known. Have you been staring at the problem so long that all you can see is the problem? Our minds get good at what we practice. You’ve prolly heard the phrase “neurons that fire together wire together.” It’s a simplified way of describing neuroplasticity: repeated patterns of thinking and behaving can strengthen the pathways associated with them. So we do them more. And more. Cool when we’re learning to drive, play the piano, meditate, or build a habit. Not so much when we keep circling the same worries: * I can’t leave this job because… * I can’t go back to school because… * I can’t change this because… * I have to stay because… * I’ll lose… Pretty soon, instead of poking around to see what’s there, we’re rehearsing why we’re trapped in it. Again. I’m not saying the obstacles aren’t real, but consider that they may not be the whole story. I’m pretty familiar with this stuck stuff. I spent a few years in technology and digital marketing. I was good at it. I had experience, a reputation, and built an identity around my work. But it wasn’t really where I wanted to be anymore. It took way too long to figure that part out. Then, how could I bring out the parts of me that weren’t getting to play? Would that be OK? I knew how to fit into that work persona. Other people knew me as that person too. Walking away wasn’t simply changing careers. It meant questioning an identity I’d spent years building. That was heavy, and it brought up hard questions. If I’m not doing the thing I know I’m good at, what makes me valuable? What makes me me? The stuck feeling wasn’t something I needed to force my way out of. What I needed was to understand what was keeping me there. Once I could see that, I had more choices. Before “What should I do?” maybe try “What’s going on here?” When we want change, we tend to jump straight to “fixing” and solutions. And ur friends and family will happily join in with advice, helpful or not. Quit the job. Stay in the job. Go back to school. Don’t go back to school. Move to Tahiti. Definitely do not move to Tahiti. There’s useful territory to explore before deciding. Try finishing this sentence: I’m stuck because… Don’t think of it as an assignment. Just notice what comes up. Your first answer might be practical: “I can’t afford to change careers.” Then something else like: “I’m afraid I’ll have to start over.” And underneath that: “I’m not sure I’ll be good at anything else.” Now we’re looking at something different. The money still matters. But it may not be the only thing involved. What do you actually want to change? We might have a clear image of what we don’t want. * I don’t want this job anymore. * I don’t want to keep having this argument. * I don’t want to live here. * I don’t want to feel like this. Okay… So what are you hoping will be different? More creativity? Stability? Freedom? Connection? Work that feels meaningful? A relationship where you feel heard? A chance to find out who you are now instead of continuing to live as the person you were ten years ago? Sometimes we can be ignoring a need we haven’t named yet. Once we name it, the picture can change. Maybe you don’t need a new career. Maybe you need more creativity and a sense of agency in the one you already have. Maybe you don’t need to move. You need more community and connection where you are. Maybe something in the relationship needs some deeper conversations. Or maybe, yes, it really is time to go. The point isn’t to talk yourself into staying or leaving. It’s to see your situation clearly enough that you have a choice. Give yourself more than two options Stuckness has a way of making life look binary. Stay or leave.Do it or don’t.Succeed or fail. Most of life has more options but we aren’t really seeing them. * You can take one class instead of enrolling in a degree program. * Talk to someone already doing the work you’re considering. * Visit the place you’re thinking about moving to. * Ask whether something can change at work before deciding you have to quit. * Spend an afternoon making art without demanding to decide whether you’re officially an artist now. None of these may be YOUR answer, but they are new directions to explore. It might be just one tiny step that gives you information that another month of thinking never could. You may not be stuck at all. You just don’t know that YET. You don’t have to solve everything today. Start with one question. Notice what comes up. See whether there are possibilities you couldn’t see when all your attention was focused on being stuck. As you understand where you actually are, your choices may become clearer. And clarity doesn’t always mean change. You may decide to leave the job, take the class, move, have the difficult conversation, or begin something completely new. You may also discover that you don’t want the change you thought you wanted. That’s OK, it’s learning something important about yourself. Maybe you take a leap, or just one small step. Maybe you stay exactly where you are, but now you understand why you’re choosing to stay. I wrote something to help you go a little deeper As a coach, I’ve had a lot of conversations with people who know something isn’t working but aren’t yet clear about what needs to change. That’s why I created I’m Stuck. Now What? (https://payhip.com/b/Zem8P) It’s a short ebook and workbook designed to help you slow things down, look at what may actually be keeping you stuck, and ask better questions before making a big decision. It won’t tell you whether to quit your job, leave your relationship, move across the country, or reinvent your life. It will help you look at the situation from a few different angles, notice what’s underneath the obvious answer, and identify a reasonable next step. Get full access to Microdosed Mindfulness at www.microdosedmindfulness.com/subscribe (https://www.microdosedmindfulness.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=CTA_4)

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