No Straight Answers

About No Straight Answers

The agony-aunt podcast where your hosts, Clayton and Suran, dive deep into dilemmas and conundrums. With thirty years of friendship, almost a century of life experience and zero years of relevant training, they’ll hopefully make you feel less alone. Each week they tackle the big, small and ridiculous questions - from parenting meltdowns and partner clashes to dopamine addiction, workplace disasters, midlife crushes - always with humour, honesty and no straight answers. Send your comments, conundrums or AMAs to dilemma@nostraightanswers.org

Publisher

Suran Dickson and Clayton Carrick-Leslie

Category

society & culture

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

28 Aug 2025

Latest episode

1 Jul 2026

Latest episodes

16 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   1 Jul 2026

   Geriatric I.T., Making Love, and the Haughty Slag #8 Season 2

   It's the Season 2 finale! Jo from Wellington has become the unofficial IT support for her 85-year-old mother, who has early-stage dementia. Clayton and Suran get into the funny side and the heartbreak of caregiving, the way anger about a malfunctioning device is rarely actually about the device, and how you keep showing up for someone you love without losing yourself in the process. Private Pete has been with his new partner for a year and she is wonderful. She also documents their relationship on Facebook with too much enthusiasm and refers to sex as 'making love,' which Pete finds immediately deflating. Clayton and Suran wrestle with consent and privacy in relationships, whether public declarations of love are about the person you're with or the audience watching, and how to ask someone to dial it back without hurting their feelings. This week's AMA: Suran's worst habit, and what superpower Clayton would choose.

2. 

   24 Jun 2026

   Affairs, Accidental Tinder and Moments of Joy #7 Season 2

   This week Clayton and Suran go back and forth with two letters about situations that are COMPLICATED. Mark has been having an affair for nearly three years. His partner says she'll leave her husband when the time is right, when things settle, when the kids are more stable. Will it ever happen though... A senior leader writes in about an accidental Tinder swipe. She matched with someone junior to her at work - he's been giving her a look and she has been catastrophising ever since. Clayton and Suran talk her down from the dating ledge. Plus Clayton asks Suran about the small things that bring joy, and Suran asks Clayton what people get wrong about him.

3. 

   17 Jun 2026

   Faking It, Losing a Mate, and a Boner Story

   This episode deals directly with suicide and suicide bereavement. If that's not where you're at today, give yourself permission to sit this one out or come back to it when you're ready. Support details at the end of these notes. Clayton and Suran are back, and this week they cover a lot of ground. Millie is 47, happily partnered, and has been quietly faking orgasms to end sex when she's tired -- not because anything is wrong, exactly, but because her partner can go all night and sometimes she simply cannot. Now she's stuck in a pattern she can't walk back without a conversation that will make him mentally replay everything. Then there's a letter from a bloke who lost a close mate to suicide not long ago. He's carrying the grief, the shock, and real anger. And then guilt about the anger. On top of all that, he's somehow ended up as the strong one with no obvious place to put his own feelings. In the AMA, Clayton talks through his sliding door moments -- the chances he didn't take -- and Suran considers the stereotype she least wants to become. If this episode has brought anything up for you, please reach out: Free call or text 1737 any time for support from a trained counsellor. Depression helpline (https://www.depression.org.nz/contact-us/) (24 hours a day, 7 days a week): free phone 0800 111 757 or free text 4202. Suicide Crisis Helpline (https://www.lifeline.org.nz/services/suicide-crisis-helpline/): free phone 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO). Lifeline (https://www.lifeline.org.nz/): free phone 0800 543 354 or free text 4357 (HELP). Samaritans (https://www.samaritans.org.nz/) crisis helpline: free phone 0800 726 666 if you are experiencing loneliness, depression, despair, distress or suicidal feelings.

4. 

   10 Jun 2026

   A Handshake, a Half-Sister, and Running with the Bulls

   Clayton and Suran are back, and this week the co-parenting wars come to the hockey pitch. Fraser's wife is a Black Sticks player with strong opinions about sportsmanship. Fraser thinks his eight-year-old was mid-cry and in pain. Both of them are a little bit right, which is the most annoying possible outcome. Then Vickie has found her biological half-sister Donna, they get on brilliantly, and she is visiting London later this year. The problem is her adoptive sister Rachel also lives in London, has an immovable husband, and assumes Vickie is staying with her. Blood versus time, obligation versus wanting a decent night's sleep. In the AMA, Clayton almost soils his pants running with the bulls, and Suran describes the friendship she's most proud of.

5. 

   3 Jun 2026

   Swearing, Porn, and Your Boss Seeing Your Browser History #4 Season 2

   Clayton and Suran are back, and this week things get a little ungodly. A listener writes in about the person she becomes the moment she gets behind the wheel, she's calm, patient, reasonable by day; full swears unleashed the second someone pulls out in front of her car. Her seven year old heard everything then went home and repeated it to Dad... Then there's the story of a houseguest who accidentally broadcast porn through his hosts' Bluetooth speaker at increasing volume, after which everyone sat down for toast and said nothing. Ouch. And in the AMA, Clayton faces a choice: would you rather your boss could see your browser history, or every text you've sent in the last year?

6. 

   27 May 2026

   Ethical Vegetables, Dating in Grief, and a Hooters Trophy #3 Season 2

   Clayton and Suran are back and, if anything, sitting on the fence even more than last time. Sarah has a problem: her favourite fruit and veg shop has the best produce in the neighbourhood, and possibly some employment law concerns. She doesn't want to shop at Shein, but is Dave at the corner dairy actually the same thing? What can one customer do? Then Benjamin writes in four months after losing his wife to a long illness. He's developed feelings for one of her closest friends, someone who was there through all of it. They've talked about it, agreed it's too soon, and left it there. He just wants to know if he's a terrible person. In the AMA, Clayton confesses what he got catastrophically wrong about women (wrong hole anyone?), and Suran resurfaces a story involving a trophy, boobs, and a Hooters restaurant.

7. 

   20 May 2026

   Transgender Kids, Pass-Ag Bosses, and Prince Alberts #2 Season 2

   Clayton and Suran are back and already proving their ineptitude. A parent writes in about their child coming out as transgender - the love is not in question, but the grief is real and they're struggling to process it all. David has a problem with his boss's email sign-off. "Thanks for your cooperation." Four patronizing, authoritarian words. Worth saying something or not? In the AMA, Suran reveals her piercing history (including a Prince Albert. Impossible? That'll make you listen to the end...), and Clayton contemplates what he'd do with fifteen million dollars (basically lie to everyone).

8. 

   13 May 2026

   Losing Friends, Lighting Candles, and a Long Overdue Return #1 Season 2

   Clayton and Suran are back after six months away, with updates, a new puppy, and the usual inability to give a straight answer about anything. Matt quit drinking two years ago and hasn't looked back - except at his social life, which quietly disappeared along with the bottles. It turns out a lot of his friendships were basically just shared drinking habits, and now he's 51 and starting over. How do you find your people when the thing that used to connect you is gone? Karen told a small lie about candles to a new friend and is now four candles deep with no exit strategy. Are candles really worth getting worked up about? Karen thinks so, what do your resident (in)experts think? In the AMA, Clayton reveals the words that make his skin crawl ('panties' makes its show debut), and Suran confesses to her worst ever fashion moment.

9. 

   15 Oct 2025

   Mortality, Exes and Gay Awakenings #8

   It’s our final episode of the season, and we’re going deep even though we promised not to. 👉 Our first letter writer is lying awake at night thinking about death, ageing parents, and creaky knees. Is midlife just one long existential crisis, or can we make peace with the fact that we’re all slowly composting? 👉 Dave loves his new girlfriend - but not her ex, who’s still watering the plants, popping in for dinner, and smiling from every photo frame. When does “we’re still friends” turn into “he’s still stealing the emotional air”. Plus, we read some of your feedback on the season (spoiler: it ranges from “woke and gay” to “Clayton’s dulcet tone is s.e.x.y”), and answer one final AMA about first loves, sexual awakenings, and why Suran didn't swoon after Clayton's pash. No Straight Answers - solving life’s problems, one unhelpful answer at a time.

10. 

    8 Oct 2025

    Teen Sex, Perimenopause, and Everything In Between #7

    This week, it gets a little steamy as both of our letters are about sex. Expect unhelpful advice, mild moral panic, and at least one moment where Clayton looks like he wants to crawl under the desk. 👉 Anxious Amanda writes about her 15-year-old son and his 14-year-old girlfriend - who are, let’s just say, not reading books together. She’s letting them be intimate under her roof because it feels safer than the alternative… but what happens when he turns 16 and she’s still underage? Is Amanda being a responsible parent or walking a legal tightrope? 👉 Hot and Bothered (but not in the good way) is 47, deeply in love with her husband, and freshly perimenopausal - which is all fine until he suggests they open their marriage in the name of “ethical non-monogamy.” Is this progressive honesty or just a polite midlife crisis? In our AMA, Clayton talks about the uneasy marriage between comedy and mental health, while Suran admits which app she checks most for no good reason. No Straight Answers — solving life’s problems, one unhelpful answer at a time.

11. 

    1 Oct 2025

    Book Clubs, Bitter Exes & Undesirable Traits #6

    This week we’re tackling wine-fuelled book clubs and the headache of co-parenting gone wrong. Expect unhelpful answers, a little righteous indignation, and an AMA that exposes just how soft we really are under all the tough talk (we know, there's no tough talk...). 👉 Frustrated in Auckland writes about her book club of middle-aged mums that’s turned into less “literary discussion” and more “wine-and-whine night” - thanks to a couple of new recruits who never crack open the book. Do you lay down the rules, or let it devolve into gossip hour? 👉 Dad from Christchurch shares the pain of trying to co-parent with an ex-wife who paints him as the villain, manipulates the kids, and cancels weekends on a whim. How do you stay sane, protect your relationship with your children, and keep from being swallowed by her bitterness? Finally, in our AMA, Clayton admits the one trait he’d change to make his wife’s life easier, and Suran shares a moment when she felt utterly carefree and in love with life.

12. 

    24 Sept 2025

    Assisted Dying, Conspiracy Theories and Never Askers #5

    This week we’re diving into the world of conspiracy theories and the heartbreak of end-of-life choices. Expect unhelpful answers, a few tears, inappropriate giggles, and an AMA that will probably reveal too much about both of us. 👉 A listener writes from Grey Lynn about a friend whose obsession with fringe conspiracies has gone from Bill Gates’ “microchips” to Paul McCartney being replaced in 1966. Once the life of the party, he now derails every conversation with the conspiracy du jour and calls anyone who disagrees a “sheep.” Do you cut ties, call it out, or just keep baa-ing along? 👉 Jamie shares an impossibly tough situation: his father-in-law, a big character in a big family, is dying of cancer and wants assisted dying to avoid pain and burden. His wife is devastated, the siblings are divided, and their kids are 13, 8, and 5. How do you support your partner through it, and do you prepare the kids — or protect them? Finally, in our AMA Clayton reveals his ultimate dating “ick,” and Suran shares her irrational fears ⚠️ Please note: this episode contains sensitive conversations about assisted dying. Take care when listening.

13. 

    17 Sept 2025

    Text Blunders, Bullying and Gender Swapping for a Day #4

    This week we’re tackling the blurred line between banter and bullying — in schools and workplaces. Expect unhelpful answers, bad 90s flashbacks, and an AMA that goes places it probably shouldn’t (Clayton becomes a giggly teenager). 👉 A parent writes in about their 11-year-old son who’s being teased, taunted, and even left stranded without his schoolbag. The teachers say they’ll “keep an eye on it,” but the bullying hasn’t stopped. Do you pull him out to protect his confidence, or help him stick it out and build resilience? We weigh protection against preparation — with some raw 90s flashbacks along the way. 👉 Lee from Taranaki tells us she’s become the office punchline. As the oldest in her team, she’s bombarded with “harmless” age jokes about naps, TikTok, and slowing down. Should she laugh it off, or risk making things worse by calling it out? We explore the fine line between humour and harassment, and why “just joking” is rarely just joking. Finally, our AMA asks what Clayton would do with 24 hours as a woman, and who Suran’s celebrity hall pass would be. If you came for clarity, you’re in the wrong place. But if you came for honesty, laughter, and a reminder that you’re not alone in life’s messiness — you’re exactly where you should be.

14. 

    10 Sept 2025

    Gaslighting, Ghosting and Giggling Till You Cry #3

    Welcome to Episode 3 of No Straight Answers — the podcast where we workshop your predicaments and dilemmas with maximum empathy and minimum usefulness. We kick off with highs and lows, updates on the Christchurch comedy scene, and some hard truths about social media. Then it’s time for your letters: 👉 A listener questions whether his marriage has crossed from “normal rough patch” into gaslighting territory — after an AI told him so. We unpack the dangers of becoming worn down by love, and whether this is just part of long term relationships. 👉 Another listener is stuck in the limbo of a fading friendship — should she keep pushing for connection, or recognise it’s time to let go? We talk reciprocity, seasons of friendship, and why one-sided effort rarely works. Finally, our AMA uncovers laughing-until-you-cry moments and what advice Clayton would give his younger self. If you came for clarity, you’re in the wrong place. But if you came for honesty, laughter, and a reminder that you’re not alone in life’s messiness — you’re exactly where you should be.

15. 

    3 Sept 2025

    Extra Marital Kisses, ADHD Wives & Middle-Aged Boozing #2

    Clayton and Suran are back with more fence-sitting advice, inappropriate laughter, and just enough honesty to make you wonder if we should be trusted with your dilemmas. We start with highs and lows - milestone birthdays, party chaos, and the joy/pain of being back in offices and airports again. Then onto two listener letters: Letter 1 — The Goodbye Kiss Conundrum: Greg from Huntsbury writes in about a social ritual gone rogue: whenever his friends come over (and drinks are involved), the wife always lands a kiss that hovers between cheek and lips — sometimes fully landing. Greg’s not sure if it’s harmless affection, low-level attraction, or a potential landmine if their spouses notice. We ask: what’s the real issue - the act itself, or the fear of being caught? How much attraction is “normal,” and when does it cross the line? Letter 2 — The ADHD Divide: Dan’s wife has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. She’s empathetic and hardworking but struggles with organisation, reactivity, and daily “boring” tasks. Dan feels like the load is falling on him - and worries the diagnosis is becoming an excuse. We unpack executive function (working memory, self-restraint, cognitive flexibility), the realities of ADHD at home, and how to focus on strengths while addressing the friction. There are tangents, of course - forgotten glasses, unpaid car insurance, and a few “weird shit my wife did this week” anecdotes. We round things off with an AMA: Clayton on alcohol, Suran on regrets, and a little too much candour about lives half-lived and still in progress. Not therapy, just two long-time friends oversharing, workshopping, and occasionally confusing you more than helping. Send us your dilemmas: dilemma@nostraightanswers.org Follow us on Instagram: @nostraightanswersnz Content note: mild language and mild oversharing.

16. 

    28 Aug 2025

    Screens, Sanity and Micro-Managing Bosses #1

    Welcome to No Straight Answers — the fence-sitting advice show where we explore your predicaments with curiosity, compassion and a few questionable ideas. In this debut, Suran and Clayton trade highs and lows, then tackle two listener letters: Letter 1 — The Screen-Time Standoff: When one parent rage-bans devices, what actually helps? We talk dopamine and transitions (hugs, timers, trampolines), neutral parenting, weekly couple check-ins and family meetings. The aim: less panic, more predictable routines. Letter 2 — The Micromanager Maze: How to steady yourself when a new boss erodes your confidence. We cover fight/flight, getting the frontal lobe back online (breathing, pause lines), written follow-ups, allies, and when a values misfit means planning an exit. We cap it with a quick AMA (Clayton's first hickey is a hot topic!). Not therapy, just a couple of old friends workshopping your dilemmas. And pushing each other to overshare more and more each week! Send your dilemma: dilemma@nostraightanswers.org Content note: mild language.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Spotify

5.0 / 5

30 ratings