An extemporaneous, rhetorical podcast wherein I share my life experience as someone who has never felt the same as, or experienced 100% acceptance by, any human, organization, or subculture in my entire life. My aim is not to use this platform to rail against 'normalcy', nor to grump about exclusivity, or complain about my inability to 'fit in'- since the only common denominator in all of these failed attempts has been ME. Having been sober for two years now, I have the clarity to examine how/why I am like this. I'm a warm, caring being and I love humanity, but I am NOT quite like you. Enjoy!
Season one, #10: Part one of my prison story- dedicated, with love and admiration, to my father.
I made this one with my father in mind- hi, Pop! I love you! It's an unscripted recounting of my first prison experience and a bit of what led up to it. Enjoy!
16 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #9: Dealing with it.
I have been coping with some pretty difficult circumstances this month, ironically the first month in almost ten years I have not used THC (so far) by choice. So I'm trying to determine what is of value to me and pare away nonessential aspects that stress me out. I'm looking over the tools and coping mechanisms I have collected and keeping them handy. As a self-actualized adult who has needlessly relied on others for most of my life, it feels like my responsibility to develop as much self-reliance as I can. My problems are too weird and dangerous to burden others with them when I feel like I am right on the edge. And as well meaning as the words may be when others say them, if they REALLY don't wanna know, hearing people ask"are you okay?" just feels like a kick in the head to me.
15 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #8: Thoughts about why we exist
Now that my mind feels more agile, I am comfortable asking big questions and open to whatever insights or data may arise..I mean, it's early and I didn't sleep great so this one miiiiight be crap.
15 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #7: This is NOT all there is.
A few experiences I've had which make me feel certain this life ain't everything.
13 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #6: Toxic Insincerity (sounds like a punk band, eh?)
While insincere words or actions, minor ones, at least- have long been considered a necessary evil that keeps us civilized to a point we no longer notice when we engage in them, acceptance and adoption of this 'okayness' with falsehood or insincerity seems to be reaching a poisonous level in our society today. Insincerity or agreeing with,'liking,' or 'retweeting' what is popular instead of what is personally meaningful to us as individuals seems to be the dominant paradigm. Since fortunes and careers can be built or destroyed solely on the ability to appeal to a massive audience/following, has being true to oneself lost its value? Unpopular opinions still deserve to be heard, and a refusal to acknowledge this fact is changing things in a dangerous way. We NEED new and unpopular ideas, or at least the absolute freedom to express them without judgment, or we can no longer truly be a free society that allows room for all perspectives, not just the sexy ones.
12 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #5: Building upon the Stoned Ape Theory
A realization I had which builds upon the popular Stoned Ape theory- that a new phase of human evolution is beginning, and that maybe I feel like an alien because I'm sort of bridging this evolutionary gap...
12 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #1: Okay, let me try this again...
My second go at recording my inaugural podcast segment cos the first one was NOT good. It's still completely unscripted and unedited, though- as if you couldn't tell. Probably not your cup of tea.
12 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #4: You down with BPD?
This is my almost completely (save for a few notes) unscripted, extremely amateur attempt at looking into ways my Borderline Personality Disorder has impacted my interpersonal relationships-not only through my emotionally lashing out at anyone brave enough to stay close to me, but unconsciously "teaching" them how to treat me in order to remain safe. Nasty stuff, y'all.
11 Jun 2021
Not Like You with Anonymouse Donor (Trailer)
11 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #3: WTF I'm up to, and why I bother
Sort of a rambling explanation of why I decided to make this podcast. Again, fully unscripted, unedited, and rhetorical, produced with as little effort as possible.
11 Jun 2021
Season one, episode #2: San Quentin daze and self-alienation...
A totally unrehearsed rhetorical podcast, entirely self-produced with minimal effort and no editing so far... In this one. I ramble about some of my time in San Quentin, where I could not possibly have fit in less.
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