Not Your Average Counsellor

About Not Your Average Counsellor

Welcome to ”Not Your Average Counsellor,” hosted by Vee Vinci, a Mental Health Wellness Expert and Registered Relationship and Family Therapist. Here, Vee takes you on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, delving deep into the challenges of personal and relationship dynamics, helping you understand the reasons behind your thoughts and actions, and empowering you to create a more fulfilling life. Vee’s approach is refreshingly straightforward and effective. Tune in to her candid, deep, yet humorous conversations covering various important topics, including Navigating Well-Meaning Meddlers, Preventing Burnout, Breaking Free from Negative Thought Patterns, Coping with Trust Issues, Mastering Communication, Fostering Intimacy, and much more. If you’re looking for valuable insights, practical advice, and a new perspective to improve your relationship with yourself and others, ”Not Your Average Counsellor” is the podcast for you. Join Vee on this transformative journey, one episode at a time.

Publisher

HQCS

Category

education · health & fitness

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

5 Sept 2020

Latest episode

26 Oct 2026

Latest episodes

120 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   26 Oct 2026

   Should the Higher Earner Have More Say in Financial Decisions?

   Episode Overview Money is one of the most emotionally loaded topics in relationships, and income differences can create subtle or obvious power imbalances. This episode explores fairness, autonomy, contribution, and how to maintain equality even when finances aren’t equal. ----more---- 💭 Why This Question Comes Up One partner earns more, temporarily or long‑term. The higher earner may feel they “contribute more,” therefore should “decide more.” The lower earner may feel dependent, guilty, or powerless. Society reinforces the idea that money equals authority. This is rarely just about finances - it’s about power, security, and respect. 💰 What Money Represents in a Relationship Money is never just a number - it represents freedom, safety, control, responsibility, status, and self‑worth. Both partners bring financial history, cultural messages, and emotional triggers. Understanding these meanings is essential. ⚖️ Contribution vs. Value Not all contribution is financial. Non‑financial contributions - childcare, household management, emotional labour, planning, life admin, cooking, organising - often make the higher earner’s income possible. Income does not equal value. 📈 When the Higher Earner Having More Say Can Be Fair Sometimes the higher earner has more financial skill or experience - budgeting, investing, planning, or managing assets. In these cases, more influence is practical, not hierarchical. But influence is not the same as control. 🚩 When It Becomes a Power Imbalance Warning signs include: Big decisions made without consultation. Monitoring or criticising the lower earner’s spending. The lower earner feeling like a dependent or child. Money conversations causing fear or shutdown. This is financial dominance, not leadership. ⚠️ The Risk of Financial Hierarchies When one person’s voice matters more because they earn more: Emotional intimacy decreases. Resentment builds. The lower earner feels invisible or undervalued. The relationship becomes transactional. If the relationship ends, the person with less power loses the most. 🤝 What Fair Shared Decision‑Making Looks Like Healthy couples prioritise transparency, collaboration, shared goals, flexibility, and respect. Income doesn’t have to be equal - but influence and emotional weight should be. 🧩 Practical Structures for Fairness Proportionate contributions based on income. Joint account for shared expenses plus separate personal accounts. Regular financial check‑ins where both voices matter. Agreed‑upon spending thresholds that require discussion. These structures reduce power struggles and prevent secrecy. ----more---- Closing Thoughts The higher earner does not automatically deserve more power. Relationships work best when money is shared openly and handled with respect - not used as leverage. Your income may differ, but your voice in the relationship shouldn’t.

2. 

   12 Oct 2026

   Should You Date Someone Less Attractive But Financially Stable?

   Episode Overview This is a confronting question because it touches ego, desire, status, self‑worth, and security. Many people quietly weigh passion and physical chemistry against stability and long‑term safety. There’s no “right” answer - but there are consequences either way. 💭 Why This Question Comes Up People consider this choice due to fear of financial instability, pressure to “choose safely,” past relationships where passion didn’t last, desire for predictability, concerns about ageing, or the belief that stability equals maturity. 👀 What We Mean by “Less Attractive” Attraction is personal. Usually this refers to someone who feels less physically or sexually appealing, doesn’t evoke instant desire, or isn’t seen as socially desirable - but who is kind, reliable, and stable. Attraction can grow, but it doesn’t always. ✨ Potential Benefits Emotional security, reduced chaos, financial stability, and a sense of being cared for. Reliability can become attractive over time, and emotional intimacy can make “average attraction” feel fulfilling. ⚠️ Potential Risks You may feel trapped, bored, or resentful. Lack of desire can impact intimacy. You might treat them like a backup plan or fantasise about others. Power imbalances can develop, and they may feel “not enough.” 🚩 Signs the Relationship Won’t Work Long‑Term You avoid physical touch, compare them to others, feel bored rather than safe, or don’t look forward to seeing them. You tell yourself it will improve - but nothing shifts. You know you’d leave if someone more attractive came along. 💚 Signs the Relationship Might Deepen You enjoy their company, feel comfortable, and attraction is slowly increasing. You admire their character, feel emotionally safe, and intimacy feels warm even if not electric. Shared goals and closeness are growing. 🧭 Core Questions to Ask Yourself Can I live without strong sexual chemistry and still feel fulfilled. Do I respect this person. Do I like who I am with them. Is attraction growing or declining. Would I choose them if money wasn’t a factor. Would I be proud to introduce them as my partner. Closing Message Security without desire feels flat. Desire without security feels chaotic. The right relationship is one where you feel safe, seen, chosen - and still attracted. You don’t need fireworks, but you do need warmth and a genuine pull toward each other. If you’re choosing someone only because they’re safe and stable, that’s not love - that’s fear. And fear is a terrible foundation for a long‑term relationship.

3. 

   5 Oct 2026

   Is It Shallow to End a Relationship Over Lifestyle Incompatibility?

   Episode Overview This question comes up often: you love someone emotionally, but your day‑to‑day ways of living don’t align. It’s not about who is “right” - it’s about whether your lives can actually work together. Lifestyle differences shape the relationship far more than people admit. 🏡 What Lifestyle Incompatibility Really Means This isn’t about different hobbies - it’s deeper. It shows up as different values around money, activity levels, priorities, health, routine, mess tolerance, planning, or spontaneity. Lifestyle is how you live daily - and daily life is what a relationship actually is. 😔 Why This Feels ‘Shallow’ People fear seeming judgmental or demanding. We’re taught “love conquers all,” even when it doesn’t. Ending it over lifestyle can trigger guilt - but it doesn’t mean you’re cold or superficial. It means you’re honest about what you can sustainably live with. ✨ Why Lifestyle Compatibility Matters It affects stress levels, connection, future goals, home environment, and how supported or strained you feel. Even deep love can crumble under chronic friction. 🌱 Potential Benefits of Leaving You create space for a life aligned with your values. You prevent long‑term resentment. You avoid bending yourself into someone you’re not. You open the possibility of a relationship where both love and lifestyle align. It’s choosing long‑term peace over short‑term comfort. ⚠️ Potential Consequences of Staying You compromise core needs. You lose parts of yourself. You become the “nagging” or “controlling” partner. Daily tension erodes emotional closeness. You may wake up years later living a life you never wanted. This is how resentment grows. 🧭 Questions to Ask Yourself Are these differences stressful or just inconvenient. Do I feel more like myself or less like myself with them. Have we both tried to meet in the middle, or only me. Will these differences matter even more in the future. Am I staying for love, fear, or guilt. 💚 Signs the Relationship Can Work You share core values even if habits differ. Both partners can adapt without losing themselves. There is mutual effort and willingness to meet halfway. The gaps feel manageable, not exhausting. You still feel like a team. 🚩 Signs It’s Not Sustainable One person is constantly compromising. The differences cause daily tension or exhaustion. You feel like you’re living the wrong life. Conversations about change lead to defensiveness or shutdown. Your futures clearly don’t align. At this point, staying becomes self‑betrayal. Closing Message Choosing a partner is choosing a way of living. Ending a relationship over lifestyle incompatibility is not shallow - it’s self‑awareness. Love is essential, but it’s not enough on its own. You deserve a relationship that doesn’t require you to abandon the life you want to live.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Spotify

5.0 / 5

8 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 51 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

56

Social presence

91

YouTube

0

Engagement

68

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Guest appearances

Books guests

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