Offside Remarks is a comedy podcast for football (soccer) fans and curious newcomers alike. Every week: unsolicited takes on the beautiful game, a crash course on how football actually works, and the ongoing emotional journey of an American who inexplicably supports England. Nobody asked for this podcast. Here it is anyway. First stop, the World Cup.
In this week's episode of Offside Remarks, we recap the top 3 match results from match week 6, specifically those of the three win-less clubs. Then we deep dive on Manchester City (including the current controversy), and talk about European Football competitions: The Champions League, The Europa League, and the Conference League.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
28 Sept 2026
No Pints in View of the Pitch
In this week's episode of Offside Remarks, we recap the top 3 match results from the weekend, including two upsets that shifted the table. Then we deep dive on Liverpool FC and the dark history associated with the team, and answer one of the most important questions about Premier League football: Why can't I bring my beer to my seat?
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
16 Sept 2026
Breaking format already
In this week's episode of Offside Remarks, we recap the top 3 (just kidding, actually 4) match results from the weekend, including the dumpster fire that was Newcastle vs Leeds on Monday afternoon. Then we deep dive on Chelsea FC - located actually in the borough of Fulham, and talk red cards in our wildcard segment...
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
10 Sept 2026
Arteta's a Fox
In this week's episode of Offside Remarks, we recap the top 3 match results of the week, including two chaotic draws. Then we deep dive on Arsenal's Gunners, and talk transfer period winners and losers in our wildcard segment..
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
3 Sept 2026
IFAB, if you're nasty
In this week's episode of Offside Remarks, we finally give you an episode format that I will (try to) follow for all upcoming episodes.
We'll start with a recap of the top 3 match results of the week. Then we will deep dive into one premier league team (out of 20) - its history, its city, and why to watch them. Our third segment will be a wildcard segment because I don't know what the future holds and neither do you. So get off my back.
This week, we kick off our deep dive series with Newcastle United. Because duh. Then in our wildcard segment, we talk about the new rules of the game that the premier league has adopted from the International Football Association Board....or IFAB if you're nasty.....
As always, HOWAY THE LADS.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
27 Aug 2026
It's the Premier League Baby
Season 2 is here, and we're going all-in on the Premier League — every episode, every week...(maybe).
In our season opener, we set the stage: where the Premier League actually sits in world football (spoiler: richest and most-watched, not necessarily the most tactically refined), some pub-quiz-ready history — from the league's 1992 breakaway origins to Arsenal's unbeaten season — and a full breakdown of every Week 1 result, including Hull City's shock win over Manchester United and Brentford's statement 3-0 win over Tottenham.
Plus, full disclosure: your host is a Newcastle United supporter, and that bias is coming with us all season long. HOWAY THE LADS.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
23 Jul 2026
Spain Deserved It: World Cup Wk 6 Recap
The World Cup is over — and what an ending it was. Spain are world champions for the second time in their history after edging Argentina 1-0 in extra time, but the final whistle was just the start of the story.
In this final episode of the season, I break down Spain's dominant run to the title, Ferran Torres' 106th-minute extra-time winner, and Emiliano Martínez's record-setting goalkeeping performance that kept a rampant Spain at bay for over a hundred minutes. Plus: the mad 6-4 third-place classic between France and England, Kylian Mbappé's history-making Golden Boot, Rodri's Golden Ball, Lionel Messi's classy farewell to World Cup football, Donald Trump's cringeworthy trophy-stage encore, and the ugly post-match scenes involving Leandro Paredes that overshadowed Spain's celebration.
It's been six weeks of upsets, comebacks, controversy, and (occasionally) actual football. Thanks for riding along for all of it.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
16 Jul 2026
And Then There Were Two: World Cup Wk 5 Recap
We are in the World Cup finals, and I had to record this episode twice because I don't know how to use a computer.
This week we close out the Round of 16 with the three matches we hadn't covered yet — the US going down 4-1 to Belgium in a performance that was honestly as bad as it sounds, Argentina coming back from 2-Nil down in 13 minutes against Egypt in one of the most controversial matches of the tournament, and Switzerland grinding past Colombia on penalties in Vancouver to set up a quarterfinal date with the defending champions.
Then we go through all four quarterfinals, and the two semifinal games from this week. A lot of football to chat through.
Laws of the Game this week covers substitutions — how they work, when they can be made, and why getting them right can completely change a football match.
Plus, Hot Takes No Follow Ups is back.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
8 Jul 2026
1100 Dan Burns Above Sea Level: World Cup Wk 4 Recap
We are finishing up the Round of 32 and diving into the opening matches of the Round of 16, and this week did not disappoint.
We cover the matches we didn't get to last episode — Cabo Verde nearly pulling off the most unthinkable upset in World Cup history against Argentina, Belgium stealing it from Senegal in the absolute last breath of extra time, the USA's Balogun getting a red card, and England scraping past DR Congo in a performance that was, let's say, less than convincing.
Then the Round of 16 kicks off and immediately delivers. Morocco put on a masterclass to send Canada home. France grind past Paraguay in the Philadelphia heat. Norway knock out Brazil at MetLife with Haaland scoring twice in the final minutes. And England beat Mexico 3-2 at the Azteca in ten-man, altitude-challenged, weather-delayed, Bellingham-powered chaos that I will be talking about for the rest of my life.
Also — the Golden Boot race. Messi, Mbappé, and Haaland. All tied. All still in the tournament. That has never happened before.
Dan Burn made his World Cup debut. Jordan Henderson broke his arm singing Wonderwall. This tournament is completely unhinged and I could not be happier about it.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
2 Jul 2026
The Group Stage is Dead: World Cup Wk 3 Recap
The group stage is officially over, and the World Cup just got a whole lot more interesting. This week we close out the group stage properly, run through all sixteen teams heading home, and dive deep into a Round of 32 that has already delivered one of the biggest upsets in World Cup history.
We talk about the Norway-France match that everyone was looking forward to, and nobody actually got — because one manager decided to bench his entire starting lineup including Haaland and play chess instead of football. We talk about the Uruguay red card that had a guy practically needing to be physically removed from the pitch. And we talk about Germany — four-time World Cup champions, ranked tenth in the world — losing a penalty shootout to Paraguay for one of the greatest knockout upsets in recent memory.
Also: Canada punch their ticket to the Round of 16 for the first time in history, Brazil survive a scare against Japan, who was honestly sneaky good all tournament, and Morocco eliminate the Netherlands in another penalty shootout on the same day. Two shootouts in one day.
Plus, the Laws of the Game breaks down exactly how extra time and penalties work, and we're debuting a brand-new segment — KNOCKOUTS of the World Cup. No criteria. Purely vibes. No follow ups.
The group stage is dead. Long live the knockouts.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
25 Jun 2026
Record Breaking Behavior: World Cup Wk 2 Recap
This was one of the best stretches of football all tournament. Messi gets his first ever World Cup hat-trick at 38 years old, tying Miroslav Klose's all-time scoring record — and somehow still gets overshadowed by Mbappé and Haaland both scoring twice on the exact same day. England wins a genuinely insane 4-2 game against Croatia that goes back and forth four times before halftime even hits, and the US tops their group for the first time since 2010.
This week we also break down exactly how the group stage standings actually work — points, goal difference, and the new third-place team wrinkle that's confusing everyone with this expanded 48-team format. Plus a rundown of who's looking good heading into the final group games, and who should probably start worrying.
Final group games are coming. People are about to go home.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
18 Jun 2026
Red Cards and Mistaken Identity: World Cup Wk 1 Recap
Week one of the 2026 World Cup is in the books. Three red cards in the opening match. The US scoring four goals for the first time since 1930. Spain getting nil nilled by a tiny island nation. Cape Verde's 40-year-old goalkeeper producing one of the saves of the tournament. Brazil not winning.
This week we break down all of it — Mexico vs South Africa, USA vs Paraguay including the funniest VAR check in World Cup history, and everything else from a genuinely chaotic first week of football.
We also introduce a brand new segment — Hot Takes, No Follow Ups — because some things just need to be said without qualification. Plus, Laws of the Game breaks down all eleven positions on the pitch, explained like a normal person... finally.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
11 Jun 2026
The World Cup is Here and Nobody's Ready
Format: Solo | Style: Casual, self-deprecating, mild language
The World Cup is here and I have opinions. Episode one of Offside Remarks covers everything you need to know before the tournament — who to watch, who to worry about, and why I'm emotionally attached to the England national football team despite all available evidence that this is a bad decision. Plus: the offside rule, finally explained like a normal person. Welcome to the show.
Music: Sovereignty by KETSA X THE CONSCIOUS COLLECTIVE via Free Music Archive, License: CC BY
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5.0 / 5
8 ratings
Spotify
5.0 / 5
7 ratings
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