About Our Best Interests: Adopted - Life Lessons from Childhood Trauma to Adulthood
We all need meaningful social connections and a secure sense of belonging. But sometimes, natural or social forces separate us from loved ones and even ourselves. Children who were relinquished by their families and later adopted navigate a particularly challenging set of issues related to finding authentic individual and social identities. Michael and Jack invite other adoptees and allies to discuss issues of self, family and society from the adoptee perspective.
#adoptee #adoption #adopteevoices #adopted #transracialadoptee #adopteestories #adoptees #adopteesspeak #childhoodtrauma
Jack and I recorded this episode with adoptee activist Pamela Karanova back in early 2022. Pamela is a fearless and talented writer and Founder of both Adoptees Connect and Authenticity Over Alcohol. Since the time of our conversation, Pamela lost her birth father, so we added a brief condolence to the beginning of the recording. Stepping away from the Adage format of Season I, we discuss Pam's struggles with relinquishment and grief, inhabiting 'badness' and her never-ending quest to take control of her narrative and find authenticity in sobriety. I have great admiration for Pam and believe the adoptee community has benefited enormously from her bravery and leadership. Rock on with your bad self Pamela Karanova!
Please leave us a voicemail and let us know what you think about the episode!
-Michael Rocco 8.2.22
7 Jan 2022
Reckoning with the Primal Wound: An Interview with Rebecca Autumn Sansom
Michael and Jack interview filmaker Rebecca Atumn Sansom about her documentary feature film Reckoning with the Primal Wound - December 23, 2021. Show notes forthcoming.
See the film's webpage: reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com
Leave a message for the show! https://anchor.fm/michael-rocco-author/message
#adoptee #adopted #adoption #ptsd #cptsd #childhoodtrauma #primalwound #reckoningwiththeprimalwound #tra #transracialadoptee
13 Oct 2021
What You Don't Know Won't Hurt You - Michael Rocco - Part 2 of 3
OBI is back with the second installment of the three part episode focusing on Michael Rocco's story. The story is set withing the adage "What You Don't Know Won't Hurt You."
14 Jul 2021
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree
This time Jack and I welcome Dr. E. Kay Trimberger, Professor Emerita of Women’s and Gender Studies at Sonoma State University and author of Creole Son: An Adoptive Mother Untangles Nature and Nurture, published by LSU Press 2020. The guiding adage for this episode is “The Apple Doesn’t fall far from the Tree.”
Kay’s memoir recounts transracial adoptive motherhood using insights gained through the field of behavioral genetics. Using this body of research, she revisits key inflection points in raising her biracial adoptive son - who was born to Creole and Cajun parents - as a single white professional woman raised in an upper-middle class family. The key challenge Kay seeks to better understand is the development and persistence of Marco’s addiction. What could she have done differently? What are the limitations of her influence as non-biological kin? In the case of her son Marco, “The Apple Doesn’t Fall far from the Tree” may be an apt adage but don’t be surprised to learn that the story isn’t quite that simple. Nature and nature are inseparably tangled in their combined influence on the relinquished child. Still, we negotiate the relative weight of each in our conversation with Kay, with some attention given to the contribution of the primal wound as an alternative explanation for outcomes such as addiction and mental illness. In in the end, we had a thoughtful and honest conversation - not with a fellow adoptee this time but rather – with a social scientist and dedicated adoptive mother hoping to share what she’s learned from a field of study whose roots were nearly antithetical to her sociological training.
Among its other contributions, the book is a call to integrate findings from behavioral genetics into adoption practice and scholarship. A key point is that adopted kids and families may benefit from re-imagining the post-adoption family as an integration of the two existing families in a way that is more integrative than is typically seen in even today’s open adoptions. Kay advocates for providing appropriate weight to those genetic influences that my predictably pose challenges and opportunities when raising an adopted child.
-Michael Rocco
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We hope you'll drop us a line and let us know how we're doing. If you have an adoptee story that you'd like to shed light on using an adage, please pitch your idea by email (michael.rocco.author@gmail.com) in a paragraph or two. We'll contact you within 1-2 weeks if your story is a good fit for the series. Contact Michael at Michael.Rocco.Author@gmail.com Michael on FB- https://www.facebook.com/Michael.Rocco.Author -contact Dr. Jack Rocco at JRocco34@aol.com; Instagram: #recycledchild: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackrocco/. Original song "Muse" composed and performed by David Russell (with Rob Ellenberg, collaborator and producer). Full album available at: https://open.spotify.com/album/6DejQjsIM0pQ7lMeH9EK57?si=6uaeCFy9R1eRGZeJMhCByw #adoptee #adoption #adopteevoices #adopted #transracialadoptee #adopteestories #adoptees #adopteesspeak #childhoodtrauma #cptsd #addiction #alcoholism #ptsd
8 May 2021
New Eyes
This time, Jack and I are joined by Sergeant Brad Ewell, a Texas bomb squad law enforcement officer, late discovery adoptee, husband, and father of three. Brad situates his story within a quote by the French writer Marcel Proust, “The real voyage of discovery consists, not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” We unravel the relevance of Brad’s quote for adoption throughout our chat, but zero in during our discussion of the movies Truman Show and Sixth Sense. In the Truman Show, the creator/producer of the hyper-reality TV show says of Truman’s (the protagonist) lack of critical examination of his fabricated life “We accept the reality of the world with which we're presented.” Truman, and Brad too, discovered alternative realities in which deception no longer served as the foundation of an understanding of self. In the Sixth Sense, the main character, psychologist Malcolm Crowe, is unaware of his own death. In both movies, the familiar world is left unchanged subsequent to unearthing a fundamental truth about one’s context, but one’s ability to apprehend that world is drastically and forever transformed. -MR
Please help us to grow by subscribing, liking, and sharing the show!
Leave us a Message! https://anchor.fm/michael-rocco-author/message
We hope you'll drop us a line and let us know how we're doing. If you have an adoptee story that you'd like to shed light on using an adage, please pitch your idea by email (michael.rocco.author@gmail.com) in a paragraph or two. We'll contact you within 1-2 weeks if your story is a good fit for the series. Contact Michael at Michael.Rocco.Author@gmail.com Michael on FB- https://www.facebook.com/Michael.Rocco.Author -contact Dr. Jack Rocco at JRocco34@aol.com; Instagram: #recycledchild: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackrocco/. Original song "Muse" composed and performed by David Russell (with Rob Ellenberg, collaborator and producer). Full album available at: https://open.spotify.com/album/6DejQjsIM0pQ7lMeH9EK57?si=6uaeCFy9R1eRGZeJMhCByw #adoptee #adoption #adopteevoices #adopted #transracialadoptee #adopteestories #adoptees #adopteesspeak #childhoodtrauma #cptsd #addiction #alcoholism #ptsd
29 Apr 2021
A House Divided Cannot Stand
Michael Rocco is joined by Co-Host Dr. Jack Rocco (not related) in OBI's premier episode. Jack is a Baby Scoop Era adoptee who strongly identified with his Italian-American, Democrat, Catholic, Yankees fan, blue-collar upbringing in Erie, Pennsylvania. But, well into adulthood, Jack's ethnic/racial identity was challenged when he learned about his black/white biracial father after meeting his biological mother. Eventually, he confirms his own biracial identity through meeting paternal cousins. Like many transracial adoptees, Jack needed to reassemble his identity both in terms of adoption and race/ethnicity. In this episode, Jack's story is examined through the adage "A House Divided Cannot Stand." Jack reads from his memoir in preparation "Recycled: Nature, Nurture and Free Will through the Eyes of an Adoptee." Michael and Jack discuss the need to reintegrate core components of one's social identity after disintegration occurs while "coming out of the adoption fog" and recognizing the central role that adoption plays in the construction of self and an understanding of one's place within the family and society. We hope you'll drop us a line and let us know how we're doing. We welcome words of encouragement as well as criticism. If you have an adoptee story that you'd like to shed light on using an adage, please pitch your idea by email in a paragraph or two. We'll contact you within 1-2 weeks if your story is a good fit for the series. Michael.Rocco.Author@gmail.com -contact Dr. Jack Rocco at JRocco34@aol.com; Instagram: #recycledchild: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jackrocco/. Original song "Muse" composed and performed by David Russell (with Rob Ellenberg, collaborator and producer). Full album available at: https://open.spotify.com/album/6DejQjsIM0pQ7lMeH9EK57?si=6uaeCFy9R1eRGZeJMhCByw #adoptee #adoption #adopteevoices #adopted #transracialadoptee #adopteestories #adoptees #adopteesspeak #childhoodtrauma #cptsd #addiction #alcoholism #ptsd
29 Apr 2021
Never Trouble Trouble
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Our guest is Barbara Sumner, filmmaker, journalist and author of the memoir Tree of Strangers (Massey University Press, 2020).
Barbara situates part of her adoption story within the adage “Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you, for you’ll only trouble trouble and trouble others too.” This was a common response to questions about adoption when she was young. The adage advises you hesitate or even refrain from those actions that are judged as risky. (But of course, the level and character of that risk varies across actors.) Importantly, the adage also raises the specters of guilt and shame for placing others in danger if the advice is not followed “...for you’ll only trouble trouble and trouble others too.” Applied to adoption, it often means ‘don’t ask questions about yourself that might lead others to confront their own inadequacies.’ -MR
Barbara at Auckland Writer’s Festival (Sat, 15 May 2021 @ 12:00PM): https://www.writersfestival.co.nz/programmes/event/speakers-corner-the-crime-of-adoption/1389775/ (https://www.writersfestival.co.nz/programmes/event/speakers-corner-the-crime-of-adoption/1389775/)
To buy Barbara’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Tree-Strangers-Barbara-Sumner/dp/0995135401/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1619644226&sr=8-1 (https://www.amazon.com/Tree-Strangers-Barbara-Sumner/dp/0995135401/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1619644226&sr=8-1)
To join Barbara’s mailing list: https://www.barbarasumner.nz/sign-up (https://www.barbarasumner.nz/sign-up)
Barbara on FB: https://www.facebook.com/barbarasumner.nz (https://www.facebook.com/barbarasumner.nz)
***
Michael Rocco's Website: https://www.michael-rocco-author.com/ (https://www.michael-rocco-author.com/)
Email Michael: michael.rocco.author@gmail.com (mailto:michael.rocco.author@gmail.com)
Michael on FB: https://www.facebook.com/Michael.Rocco.Author (https://www.facebook.com/Michael.Rocco.Author)
***
Email Jack: jrocco34@aol.com (mailto:jrocco34@aol.com)
Jack on Instagram: Jrock3234
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Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
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#adoptee #adoption #adopteevoices #adopted #transracialadoptee #adopteestories #adoptees #adopteesspeak #childhoodtrauma #cptsd #addiction #alcoholism #ptsd
2 Mar 2021
Our Best Interests: Life Lessons from Childhood Trauma to Adulthood
Each episode of Our Best Interests is guided by an adage. Adages are little bits of folk wisdom that can apply to a variety of situations. In this series, they will be used to shed light on life lessons learned by adoptees by situating our experiences within greater "truths" about humanity. The goal is to help the listener connect the adoptee experience to something already understood in a way that is both meaningful and memorable.
Original song "Muse" composed and performed by David Russell (with Rob Ellenberg, collaborator and producer). Full album available at: https://open.spotify.com/album/6DejQjsIM0pQ7lMeH9EK57?si=6uaeCFy9R1eRGZeJMhCByw
#adoptee #adoption #adopteevoices #adopted #transracialadoptee #adopteestories #adoptees #adopteesspeak #childhoodtrauma #cptsd #addiction #alcoholism #ptsd
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