It’s Christmas in July! This episode the guys review Santa Claus vs. The Devil. No, not the recent Supreme Court case, but the 1959 Mexican Matinee Masterpiece. Vince leads the discussion for the first time, Shane rails against Christmas for the thousandth time, and Pat laughs like a hyena sucking nitrous oxide as per usual. The entire movie is only about twenty minutes long, but there’s an hour of filler, including a dance number in Hell, ten minutes of some of the most racist stuff you’ll see outside of a Goebbels film, a Santa who is probably high, a werewolf blacksmith, and, for some reason, Merlin. Also, a bunch of kids that have no parents that raises the Spector of Epstein Island. PLUS the super secret origin of the podcast! (Make sure you listen all the way through, kids!)
17 Jun 2022
Episode 4.1: There’s No Way EVERYONE Was Kung-Fu Fighting….
That’s right, Pat & Shane are back from the gutter — and they’ve brought someone with them! Season 4 opens up with a review of Force: Five. Yeah, no else has ever heard of it either. Directed by the same man that brought us Enter the Dragon and Game of Death, it’s essentially the same movie, but without any martial artists. Some people think that this movie served as the template for the 80’s TV show The A-Team, but then again some people believe that the earth is flat and that the Edsel was a cool looking car. Highlights include spurs on house slippers, a bloodhound bull, and some of the most un-spectacular stunts ever accidentally caught on film. Also, a surprise guest! And just remember, if the game is afoot, the answer is a shoe.
24 Nov 2021
Episode 3.5: You’re (thanks)Killing Me, Smalls!
The guys review what is literally one of the worst movies ever made, ThanksKilling. The whole movie is just a foam rubber turkey head puppet on a rampage. Yeah, that’s it. Just further proof that each day we drift further away from God’s love. When the highlight of a movie is a puppet wearing Groucho glasses, you know that it’s no good.
13 Sept 2021
Episode 3.4: The Real Challenge Was Sitting Through This!
How bad is it if you can’t afford David Carradine? Pretty bad, apparently. The Challenge, starring Scott Glenn, a/k/a the Poor Man’s David Carradine, came out in 1982, just ahead of the Ninja craze. Maybe they should have waited a year and added a few masked assassins in black pajamas. A muddled tale involving the ownership of swords, it’s one of the last appearances of Toshirô Mifune. One can only assume he died of shame. Trigger warning: don’t watch this if you are sensitive to animal abuse.
9 May 2021
Episode 3.3: Godfrey Ho-ly Crap! Which Ones Were the Ninjas?
Godfrey Ho strikes again. Ninja Operation 7 is the sequel to a nonexistent movie and, well, shouldn’t exist either. A mishmash of jungle people, martial arts, and a lost mine that’s obviously a tourist cave, Ho hits a new low. Pat had technical difficulties making him sound like he had a stroke, Shane actually had a stroke from rage. Enjoy!
5 Feb 2021
Episode 3.2: Beware Cheap Chinese Knockoffs!
In this episode the boys revisit Infra-Man, one of Pat’s favorite movies of all time. Spoiler alert: Shane didn’t like it. Infra - Man is just a cut rate Power Ranger episode without the good fight choreography, at least according to Shane. It’s been a while since Shane got this worked up. So while he recovers from the aneurysm he suffered whilst recording this episode, take time to enjoy some first rate rants!
27 Jan 2021
Episode 3.1: Just Another Reason to Hate Christmas
In the first episode of Season 3, the guys review Christmas Evil, a wretched mess of a story about an idiot that falls into self delusion so much he starts killing people. (Same as that god-awful Joker movie that came out last year) Featuring the worst ending of any movie ever. Yes, worse than Ninja Terminator.
20 Dec 2020
Episode 2.10: Jesus! That Was Horrible!
This episode we review J.C., an obscure bad biker gang film from 1972. Falsely advertised with the premise of Jesus Christ being reincarnated as the son of an Alabama preacher, this film fails to deliver on any level. When the highlight of a film is Slim Pickens being Slim Pickens, your film is lacking.
23 Nov 2020
Episode 2.9: I’m Really Not That Thankful
This week the boys review Home Sweet Home, the horrendous garbled mess of a movie from 1981. Starring the dude from Body by Jake, this early slasher film fails to deliver any kind of entertainment. It’s supposed to be in color, but it’s mostly just black. Even Pat couldn’t find any redeeming qualities in this schmootz.
27 Oct 2020
Episode 2.8: Who Was That Masked Man? Nevermind, I Don’t Care.
In this episode Shane and Pat delve deep into the philosophical meaning behind Santo and Blue Demon vs. The Monsters. Finding that the lacks anything resembling a deeper meaning, or for that matter, anything resembling a plot, Shane rages at the world, and prays for the end of mankind. Surprisingly, this may have been the least offensive film reviewed by this podcast. Mexican cinema at its finest?
28 Sept 2020
Episode 2.7: The Bronx Just Got Worse, But How?
In this Episode, Shane & Pat review Escape From the Bronx, sequel to The Bronx Warriors, a movie we endured in Episode 2.2. Was this cinematic offering any better than the original? Surprise, the answer is no, but at least the leading man learned how to walk like a real boy.
25 Aug 2020
Episode2.6: Black Cats Are Bad Luck
This episode we look at The Black Cat, a/k/a The Third Mother, a/k/a Demons 6 de Profundis. As Shakespeare said, a movie by any other name will probably suck, and this movie is no exception. A steaming hot mess of Italian garbage, prepare to throw yourself in front of a moving train in order to avoid watching this mess.
17 Jun 2020
Episode 2.5: My Brain Has Been Terminated. By A Ninja.
Ninja Terminator is not so much a movie as a series of incoherent and unrelated sequences, most of which are pretty generic fight scenes. For a move called Ninja Terminator, it’s pretty short on ninjas and cybernetic killing machines from the future.
11 May 2020
Episode 2.4 — Mazel tov! You’re Both Pathetic!
In this episode we examine Dracula vs Frankenstein, and I don’t mean the Supreme Court case. A shockingly bad marring of two of the greatest movie monsters of all time, chocked full of movie footage unrelated to what’s allegedly going on. Lon Chaney Jr.’s last movie, one can only assume he died of a combination of shame and cirrhosis of the liver.
24 Apr 2020
Episode 2.3: Baby Don’t Hurt Me, No More......
Delving into 1973’s The Baby, a discombobulated tale of Münchausen Syndrome by Proxy. Slap your eye with a cactus instead of sitting through this one.
17 Apr 2020
Episode 2.2: The Class of 1990 - I Don’t Remember It Being Like This....
We delve into the Cult Classic 1990: The Bronx Warriors. But why?
10 Apr 2020
Episode 2.1: Is It Over Yeti?
An in depth look at Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century. Never heard of it? Don’t worry, no one else has either.
7 Apr 2020
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