6 Oct 2026
Sandra Tsang on raising children across cultures, the pressure to perform, and why warm parenting works even in Hong Kong
What happens when the parenting style your culture handed you stops working? And how do you raise children who are genuinely thriving (not just achieving) when the world around them is measuring them by grades, instruments, and extracurricular trophies?
Today, Millie is joined by Dr. Sandra Tsang, Honorary Associate Professor at the University of Hong Kong, registered clinical psychologist, social worker, pastor's wife, mother, and now grandmother. With over three decades of frontline and academic experience, Sandra has helped reshape Hong Kong's official parent education curriculum, brought evidence-based parenting programs into prisons, and researched what actually makes families function well across generations. She brings both the science and the story and in this conversation, she shares both with remarkable warmth and honesty.
In this episode, we discuss:
Why technology is the single biggest external stressor on modern family dynamics and why it's not the same challenge TV was for previous generations.
How Sandra's team introduced positive parenting into one of the most traditionally strict, high-pressure cultures in the world and what happened when Hong Kong parents tried it.
The surprising place Sandra brought parent education next: inside prisons, for fathers who had never held their own child.
Grandparent dynamics: where good intentions go wrong, why Sandra told her own daughter "no" when asked to be a full-time caregiver, and the healthy boundary that actually kept her relationship strong.
The "middleman," why the father's role in a multigenerational household can either anchor the whole family or quietly unravel it.
How to tell the difference between a resilient, self-motivated child and one who is quietly performing under pressure, and the four dimensions parents should watch for.
Why raising children in community matters more than any individual parenting technique, and how Sunday school fits into that picture.
Practical, honest scripts for navigating grandparent boundaries, sibling rivalry, and the art of getting a child to tell you their secrets on the way to the supermarket.
Whether you are parenting in Melbourne or Hong Kong, navigating in-laws or academic pressure or a child who seems fine but might not be. This conversation is full of wisdom that travels across every culture and every kitchen table.
Links & Resources Mentioned:
City on a Hill Melbourne: cityonahill.com.au
Triple P: Positive Parenting Program: triplep.net
Mathsbuddy Project 我識數學. Tsang, S. K. M. et al at HKU on supporting people with mathematics learning difficulties. http://mathsbuddy.socialwork.hku.hk/ (http://mathsbuddy.socialwork.hku.hk/).
Jockey Club Autism Support Network (JC A-Connect Project). 喜伴同行The University of Hong Kong Faculty of Social Sciences. www.jca-connect.hk (http://www.jca-connect.hk/)
Resources of the KG Parent Education Framework 2021 https://www.parent.edu.hk/article/framework_kg (https://www.parent.edu.hk/article/framework_kg)
Resources of the Primary Parent Education Framework 2022 https://www.parent.edu.hk/article/framework_pri (https://www.parent.edu.hk/article/framework_pri)
Resources of the Secondary Parent Education Framework 2024 https://www.parent.edu.hk/article/framework_sec (https://www.parent.edu.hk/article/framework_sec)
Leung, C., Tsang, S.K.M., & Heung, K. (2008). Evaluation of the effectiveness of the Parent Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) in treating families with children with behaviour problems in Hong Kong. Research on Social Work Practice. Published on August 5, 2008 as doi:10.1177/1049731508321713.
