Pour It On is a podcast hosted by Shaun Emerson, Ben Feller and Chris Lozier about male friendship, life’s challenges and joys, and making the most of our time here. When the chaos of life makes you want to bottle it in, don’t let it. Grab your drink of choice, enjoy the moment, and let’s pour it on!
Ben hosts this week and brings a topic the three of us had somehow never covered head-on: getting help, and especially therapy. Ben starts with the first time he really committed to therapy. He was going through a breakup in a newsroom where he had to walk past his ex every day, and his therapist answered him with an old proverb about sitting by the river.
From there, Chris, Sean, and Ben compare notes. Chris is a strong advocate for therapy and sees it alongside peer groups like MenLiving. Sean has never worked with a therapist and has found what he needs through friends, meditation, and conversation. Ben credits therapy with getting him to a place where he was ready for a relationship again.
Along the way they get into:
Why asking for help can feel like an admission of failure for men, and why it takes a kind of confidence to say "I need help"
Finding the right fit, and why it may take a few tries
What you're actually looking for in a session: solutions, venting, or an empathetic sounding board that reminds you you're not uniquely broken
The power of the question "What outcome are you looking for?"
Whether a therapist's gender matters
Ongoing therapy versus a short, focused "dose" for a specific issue, plus homework or no homework
AI tools as a possible complement to talk therapy, never a substitute
The thread that runs through the whole show: don't bottle it up. Pour it on.
Ben's book, Big Problems, Little Problems (https://www.bigproblemslittleproblems.com/), comes up at the end. It's a father-and-son story about distinguishing big problems from little ones and solving them together.
Subscribe to our Substack, Come A Little Further (https://comealittlefurther.substack.com/), which brings together both of our podcasts, to share your thoughts on the episode and suggest future topics. And check out MenLiving (https://menliving.org/) if you're even just curious about another source of help.
23 Sept 2026
#31...The Health Benefits of Goal-Setting
In Episode 31 of Pour It On, hosts Chris, Shaun, and Ben dissect the pragmatic realities of aging, goal setting, and the true definition of success. Chris shares his recent experience as a member of a four-person, eight-mile open ocean relay swim in the Florida Keys, sparking a debate on whether success is found in reaching the finish line or in the execution of the journey itself.
The conversation challenges orthodox views on getting older, contrasting the unavoidable physical reality of aging with the mental choice of "getting old". By examining research linking a strong sense of purpose to lower mortality rates, the hosts explore how continuing to test our personal boundaries intersects with long-term personal fulfillment and our capacity to impact the world around us.
Highlights:
The 8-Mile Swim: Chris his experience at Swim for Alligator Lighthouse in the Florida Keys, battling currents and jellyfish, and ultimately placing first.
The Pragmatism of the Finish Line: Ben shares his recent success of completely overhauling his son's room—which had remained unchanged for 14 years—and clearing out his house in just three weeks, proving that sometimes satisfaction comes entirely from the destination of a finished job rather than enjoying the process.
Aging vs. Getting Old: The hosts debate the physical realities of aging versus the mindset of giving up.
Purpose and Mortality: Chris cites a Rush Hospital study demonstrating that older adults with a defined sense of purpose have a mortality rate roughly half that of those lacking purpose.
Resources:
Come a Little Further (https://comealittlefurther.substack.com/) Substack
Goal Setting, Aging Gracefully, Sense of Purpose, Personal Fulfillment, Success vs. Finishing, Pragmatism, MenLiving.
3 Sept 2026
#30...The Work of Connection
In this episode of Pour It On, co-hosts Shaun Emerson, Chris Lozier, and Ben Feller explore what it actually takes to build and maintain meaningful human connection as adults. From emotional family transitions to Backroads trips, the hosts examine how depth in relationships doesn't happen by accident; it requires deliberate effort, intentionality, and a willingness to step outside our comfort zones.
The trio digs into the practical mechanics of community: why moving past surface-level small talk requires active work, how introversion and social capacity influence our willingness to engage, and why initiating conversation is a muscle we have to actively flex. Grounded in stories of fatherhood and Father Michael Himes' philosophy of asking "what ails you," this episode offers a pragmatic, honest look at the ongoing practice of showing up for the people around us.
Key Takeaways:
Emotional Milestones & Life Transitions: Chris shares the bittersweet weight of dropping his daughter off at the airport for a semester in Sevilla, Spain, and how major milestones trigger deep reflection.
The Power of Shared Experiences: Ben reflects on a Backroads trip to Montana and Alberta with his son Sam, highlighting how a group of strangers bonded and how Sam stepped up as a leader during an impromptu soccer game.
Navigating Small Talk vs. Deep Connection: The hosts debate the challenge of moving beyond surface-level chatter (like weather or Netflix) into real, vulnerable conversation, and when to invest social energy.
Introversion, Curiosity, and "What Ails You": Chris discusses turning on his "social switch" in new settings by channeling Father Michael Himes' principle of genuine curiosity about others' stories.
The Simple Act of Witnessing Others: Chris shares a quote from a high school friend—"Be cool to everyone because you never know who’s going to have a party"—and emphasizes the quiet power of acknowledging, seeing, and validating people in everyday interactions.
Resources Mentioned:
Substack: Come A Little Further (https://comealittlefurther.substack.com/?utm_campaign=profile_chips) ("Let's Read" feature)
Organization: MenLiving (https://menliving.org/) (Book Club for Men & "All Humans" Call)
Reach and audience
Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.
YouTube views
15
Score snapshot 15 Sept 2025
Apple Podcasts (US)
5.0 / 5
7 ratings
Podcast Authority Score: 21 / 100
A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.
Quality
4
Social presence
0
YouTube
63
Engagement
32
Contact Pour It On
Guest appearances
Does not typically book guests
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