Press X to Despair is a weekly audio ritual where a slightly broken monk explains the absurdity of modern work and how to survive it with humour, confusion, and occasional enlightenment
The Monk spends the week being small, worn down, and quietly overwhelmed by forces that insist on calling themselves natural. Thoughts roll. Edges soften. Nothing improves, but it does become smoother.
3 Mar 2026
This week I am cosmic moisture
The Monk becomes something vague, everywhere, and mildly inconvenient. Thoughts condense. Meaning evaporates. Events occur without asking permission. No one agrees on what cosmic moisture actually is, least of all the Monk.
24 Feb 2026
This week I am a tea bag of fate
The Monk drifts through a series of moments steeped too long and taken far too seriously. Small decisions ripple. Conversations grow bitter. Someone insists this was always meant to happen. The Monk disagrees quietly from the bottom of the cup.
17 Feb 2026
This week I am a paperclip
A series of small, unnecessary incidents unfold while the Monk attempts to hold things together. Conversations bend. Tasks fail. Nothing aligns properly. He remains useful in theory only.
10 Feb 2026
This week I am a traffic cone
Ah, welcome back, persistent listeners drifting through the haze of another week.
Let us once again prise open the world’s overstuffed filing cabinet and see what nonsense has been misfiled under “progress.”
3 Feb 2026
This week I am an emergency whistle
Ah, welcome back, resilient wanderers of the weekly chaos.
Let us once more unfurl the scroll of global happenings, wipe away the fingerprints of incompetence, and pretend any of it makes sense.
27 Jan 2026
This week I am a decorative fern
A selection of strange moments unfold quietly while the Monk attempts to remain ornamental and unnoticed. People speak. Objects complain. Time sighs. He stands in the corner like decor you did not choose but cannot remove. The episode will not explain itself. It never considered that an obligation.
20 Jan 2026
This week I am a tiny pepper pot
Strange things occur. People behave. Objects interfere. The Monk tries to understand why the universe feels smaller and slightly perforated. He does not succeed, and neither will you, but you might enjoy the attempt.
13 Jan 2026
This week I am a disappointed cloud
Not because the episode is about weather. It isn’t. At least, not intentionally. But the mood of a cloud felt accurate: drifting aimlessly, observing chaos from above, occasionally releasing rain out of sheer emotional inconvenience. In this second episode, expect another scatter of strange sketches and mild philosophical confusion as I attempt to offer wisdom with the structural integrity of vapour.
6 Jan 2026
This week I am a bus stop
This week, I am a bus stop. Not because the episode is about buses. It isn’t. Not really. But the spirit of the bus stop felt right: patient, confused, occasionally sheltering strangers from nonsense. In this first episode, enjoy a scatter of absurd thoughts and calming chaos as I attempt to deliver wisdom that may or may not apply to anything in your life.
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