Pushing Back With Hails

About Pushing Back With Hails

Welcome to “Pushing Back with Hails,” where we challenge societal norms, explore personal growth, and dive into relationship dynamics. Join your host, Hails, and co-host Ice, as they share real talk, real stories, and practical tips for breaking barriers and embracing self mastery. Each episode covers sensitive topics, self improvement secrets, and advice on effective communication and deeper connections. Tune in to embark on a transformative journey and live with purpose and fulfilment.

Publisher

Hails Saunders

Category

education

Language

en

Explicit

No

First episode

6 Aug 2024

Latest episode

7 Sept 2026

Latest episodes

14 episodes in the feed.

1. 

   7 Sept 2026

   🚩 Red Flags Aren’t Moments - They’re Patterns

   We hear the phrase “red flag” everywhere but what if we’ve started using it too quickly, or not quickly enough? In this episode, we’re slowing everything down. Because one bad argument doesn’t define a relationship. Neither does one mistake, one stressful week, or one defensive reaction. What matters is the pattern. We’ll explore the difference between normal relationship struggles and behaviours that repeatedly undermine emotional safety, trust, and connection. We’ll talk about the subtle red flags people often miss, why your nervous system notices long before your mind does, and how hope can sometimes keep us holding on to relationships that aren’t truly changing. Together we’ll unpack the difference between fear and intuition, why accountability matters more than apologies, and how self-abandonment can quietly become the cost of staying. This episode isn’t here to tell you whether to leave your relationship. It’s here to help you rebuild trust in yourself so that whatever decision you make comes from clarity rather than panic. If this conversation resonates with you, I’d love for you to follow the podcast, share it with someone who might need to hear it, and leave a review. Every share helps this community reach another who may be feeling exactly what you’ve felt.

2. 

   7 Jun 2026

   When You’re Growing and They’re Not

   In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we sit with a heavier truth: what happens when growth is no longer mutual? After talking about repair, rupture, and staying when both people are willing, this kōrero gently explores the other side when you are the one reflecting, regulating, apologising, softening, learning and trying… but the pattern stays the same. This episode is not anti-relationship. It is not reactive. It is not about one bad argument. It is about recognising when effort has become one-sided. Hails unpacks why leaving is not failure, why your body often knows before your mind does, and why potential without participation can keep you stuck in hope instead of safety. In this episode, we explore: * what one-sided growth can feel like * why your nervous system may feel tense, guarded or exhausted * the difference between patience and self-abandonment * why love alone cannot carry a relationship * how to recognise patterns without rushing your process This is a gentle, honest episode for anyone who has stayed longer than their body wanted to, not because they didn’t know but because they were still hoping. Take what lands. Leave what doesn’t. And as always, move gently with yourself. Follow Pushing Back with Hails for more grounded kōrero on relationships, healing, motherhood, nervous system awareness and emotional growth. And if this episode sits close to your heart, share it with someone who may need to hear: leaving is not always a reaction. Sometimes it is recognition.

3. 

   16 May 2026

   Choosing to Stay | When Both People Are Willing to Grow

   Kia ora e te whānau 🫶🏼 In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we’re talking about something deeper than just love… We’re talking about what it means to consciously choose to stay. Not from fear. Not from attachment. Not from scarcity. But because both people are genuinely willing to grow. This episode explores the difference between staying in survival mode vs staying in a relationship where healing is collaborative. We unpack: – Fear-based staying vs growth-based staying – What willingness actually looks like in relationships – Why repair matters more than perfection – The difference between willingness and skill – How healthy conflict becomes curiosity instead of escalation – Why language matters during emotional repair – What collaborative healing actually feels like in the body This episode is for the couples doing the uncomfortable work. The ones learning how to communicate differently than what they were taught. The ones trying again. Because growth-oriented relationships are not built through perfection… they’re built through willingness. If this episode resonated with you, please share it to your story and tag me so more people can find these conversations.

4. 

   9 May 2026

   The Exhaustion of Being the Emotionally Mature One

   In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we’re talking about the quiet exhaustion that comes from always being the one who repairs. The one who reflects first. The one who regulates first. The one who softens first. The one trying to communicate better while secretly wondering why it feels like you’re carrying the emotional weight alone. This conversation explores: • the difference between dysregulation and emotional immaturity • what real repair actually looks like • over-functioning in relationships • defensiveness, avoidance, and accountability • why boundaries feel hard for abandonment wounds • the loneliness that comes from one-sided emotional labor • discernment, capacity, and willingness This episode is not about blame. It’s about clarity. Because repair is more than apologies. And you cannot do enough emotional work for two people. If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who may need the reminder that mutual effort matters 🫶🏼

5. 

   18 Apr 2026

   How to Stay Regulated When Your Partner Isn’t

   This episode is for the moments when your partner is escalated… and you feel your body wanting to follow. When their tone rises. When they shut down. When they get defensive, withdraw, or react from their wounds. Because nervous systems don’t just react… they sync. In this episode, we talk about how to stay regulated when your partner isn’t not by suppressing yourself, avoiding, or being passive… but by becoming the anchor. We go into: – Why escalation spreads between people – How to regulate your body before you respond – The difference between calm and self-abandonment – How to set boundaries without matching energy – When to pause vs when to engage – Why regulation is contagious (and powerful) This isn’t about being the “bigger person.” It’s about emotional leadership. Because you don’t have to follow someone else into survival. You can stay grounded… and change the entire dynamic.

6. 

   11 Apr 2026

   After The Trigger — How To Repair & Rebuild Trust

   This episode is for the moment after. Not the trigger. Not the theory. Not perfect regulation. The moment after you’ve already reacted. After the sharp tone. After the silence. After the shutdown. After the words you didn’t mean. Because relationships don’t break from rupture… they break from a lack of repair. In this episode, I talk about what it actually looks like to come back after conflict. We cover: – why conflict itself isn’t the problem – what happens in the nervous system after a blow up – why you can’t repair while still activated – what real repair sounds like (and what it doesn’t) – the difference between ownership and defensiveness – how to rebuild safety and connection after tension This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about returning. Because repair is what builds trust. Repair is what builds safety. Repair is what builds secure connection. If you’ve ever walked away from a moment thinking: “I wish I handled that differently…” This episode is for you. Take a breath… and come back to this one slowly.

7. 

   4 Apr 2026

   What To Do When You’re Triggered (Real-Time Regulation)

   If you’ve been listening to the last two episodes, you already understand why you react the way you do. But this episode is different. This one is practical. Because awareness is powerful… but awareness without tools can feel frustrating. It’s one thing to recognise when you’re triggered. It’s another thing to know what to do in the moment. In this episode, we slow it down and walk through how to regulate while it’s actually happening. Not after. Not in hindsight. Not replaying it later. In the moment. We talk about: – how to recognise activation in your body – why your breath is your fastest tool – how to interrupt escalation – what to say when you feel triggered – how to pause without avoiding – and how to repair when things don’t go perfectly This isn’t about being calm all the time. This is about building the capacity to stay present… even in discomfort. If you’ve ever thought: “I know I’m triggered, but I don’t know what to do” This episode is for you. Take a breath before you press play.

8. 

   28 Mar 2026

   Why You React the Way You Do — The Layer Beneath (Part 2)

   If you listened to Part 1… this is the layer underneath it. This isn’t about fixing yourself. This is about understanding what’s actually happening inside of you when you feel triggered. In this episode, I slow things down and take you deeper into the moments where your body reacts before your mind catches up. We talk about: – Why small moments can feel big – How your nervous system holds onto past experiences – What your triggers are really trying to show you – The protector parts that step in to keep you safe – And how to create space between reaction and response This is not about shame. This is about awareness. Because most of the time, you’re not reacting to what’s happening now…you’re reacting to what it reminds you of. If you’ve ever thought: “Why did I react like that?” “This feels bigger than it should be” “I don’t understand why I shut down / overthink / people please” This episode is for you. Take this one slowly. There’s no rush here. Kia ora for sitting with me in this space

9. 

   19 Mar 2026

   Why You React the Way You Do (It’s Not What You Think)

   Why do small things feel so big sometimes? In this episode, I’m talking about why we react the way we do not from a place of blame, and not from a “fix yourself” mindset… but from a place of understanding. Because most of the time, you’re not reacting from who you are now… you’re reacting from what you’ve been through. I break down how your nervous system works, why your body responds the way it does, and the four core survival responses: fight, flight, freeze and fawn. You might recognise yourself in: – shutting down in conflict – overthinking or avoiding – reacting quickly or feeling overwhelmed – people pleasing or keeping the peace This isn’t about labelling yourself. It’s about understanding what’s underneath your reactions, so you can start to respond differently. You’re not too much. You’re not broken. Your body learned how to survive…and now you’re learning how to feel safe.

10. 

    18 Mar 2026

    Start Here: Why We React the Way We Do

    Before anything else… this is the conversation we need to have. In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we unpack why we react the way we do not from a “fix yourself” perspective, but from a place of understanding. Hails shares her own experience of knowing she was triggered, but not understanding why. Being labelled “too much”, “dramatic”, “crazy”… and what shifted when she began learning about the nervous system, trauma, and patterns. This episode covers: • Why your reactions feel bigger than the moment • How your past experiences shape your present responses • The difference between reacting and understanding • Moving from shame → compassion This isn’t about blaming yourself. This isn’t about labelling yourself. This is about finally understanding yourself. If you’ve ever thought: “Why did I just do that?” Start here.

11. 

    26 Jul 2025

    Navigating Grief, Growth & Gentle Parenting

    ⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains themes around cancer, loss, and emotional trauma. Please take care of yourself while listening. In this raw and heartfelt episode of Pushing Back with Hails, I return after a long pause to open up about one of the most emotionally challenging seasons of my life. From supporting my mum through a life-altering cancer diagnosis and chemotherapy, to grieving the loss of my grandmother, to navigating the daily realities of motherhood and marriage all while trying not to lose myself in the process this kōrero is my most personal yet. We dive deep into: • The emotional toll of being a caregiver while parenting • Gentle parenting and breaking generational cycles • The silent battles behind social media • Why it’s okay to feel, and how feeling is the start of healing This episode is a reminder that you’re not alone whether you’re in the thick of grief, raising your babies in a way you were never shown, or simply trying to survive the hard days. 🎧 Tune in, take what you need, and remember to do something gentle for yourself after listening. Thank you for holding space with me. 💛 If this episode resonated, follow, share, and leave a review to help others find this safe space too.

12. 

    22 Aug 2024

    Parenting, Anxiety, and the Path to Self-Mastery: Navigating the Tough Moments

    Warning: This episode contains some discussion of physical discipline and hypothetical scenarios involving violence, which may be triggering for some listeners. The hosts make efforts to approach these topics sensitively, but listeners are advised to exercise discretion. In this episode of Pushing Back with Hails, we dive into the realities of parenting while managing anxiety and the pursuit of self-growth. Join us as we discuss the delicate balance between caring for our tamariki and nurturing our personal development. We explore the importance of mindfulness and self-reflection in parenting, the complexities of discipline, and how these practices shape our relationships and decision-making. We’ll also delve into how the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems influence our emotional responses and strategies to harness positive energy to overcome adversities. Through personal stories and shared experiences, we highlight the power of self-awareness, self-regulation, and challenging oneself to push past mental barriers. Strategies and Learnings: Mastering breathing techniques to manage stress during physical and emotional challenges. Emphasizing playful activities alongside competitive environments to maintain mental balance. Implementing mindful discipline strategies to guide children without crossing into negative behaviors. Using personal reflection as a tool to continuously improve parenting and self-growth. Join us as we explore these essential topics and offer actionable strategies for navigating the challenging yet rewarding journey of parenting and self-mastery.

13. 

    13 Aug 2024

    Overcoming Triggers: Handling Arguments with Compassion and Respect in Relationships

    In this episode, I dive deep into the challenges of navigating arguments and conflicts in our closest relationships. I share a personal experience where a seemingly small disagreement quickly escalated due to triggers, hurtful language, and old communication habits. We explore what triggers are, how they manifest in relationships, and effective strategies to manage them. You’ll learn about the power of active listening, using “I” statements, implementing timeouts, and setting boundaries around respectful communication. I also discuss how to address harmful behaviors like name-calling and absolute language in a calm, constructive manner. Most importantly, I emphasize the importance of acknowledging your partner’s positive actions and creating an environment of mutual understanding. Relationships take work, but with the right tools and mindset, we can push back against old patterns and embrace healthier, more compassionate ways of communicating. Join me as I unpack this crucial topic and equip you with practical techniques to navigate conflicts in your own relationships with greater empathy and respect.

14. 

    6 Aug 2024

    Unlocking Self-Mastery: Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth

    From the comfort of our couch in this insightful episode of “Pushing Back with Hails,” Hails and Ice delve into the complexities of personal growth, relationships, and self awareness. Join us as we explore the challenges and rewards of navigating relationship dynamics, offering valuable advice on health, communication, and self improvement. Ice opens up about his reservations regarding threesomes, highlighting concerns about energy transfer and insecurities. Meanwhile, Hails underscores the importance of open communication and exploring desires within a relationship to foster deeper connections and mutual understanding. The discussion takes a profound turn as Ice shares his unique perspective on self mastery, emphasising the power of sexual transmutation. He explains how controlling and redirecting sexual energy can lead to more productive and fulfilling actions, contributing to overall personal growth and success. Hails and Ice also touch on the critical need for self awareness, moderation, and being present in one’s relationships and personal journey. We discuss the significance of prioritising one’s own healing to break the cycle of trauma and ensure a healthier, more positive legacy for future generations. Tune in to this episode for an engaging conversation filled with practical tips, deep reflections, and inspiring insights on how to push back against limitations and embrace a path of self discovery and empowerment.

Reach and audience

Public platform figures. Ratings count people who left a rating, not total listeners.

Spotify

5.0 / 5

3 ratings

Podcast Authority Score: 15 / 100

A composite of feed quality, social presence, YouTube performance and engagement. Read the methodology.

Quality

30

Social presence

0

YouTube

0

Engagement

0

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Guest appearances

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Based on episode analysis; this does not confirm that the show is currently accepting guests.