The Quaid In Full podcast rates, reviews, and ranks every single televisual work in which Dennis Quaid appears. This highly unscientific endeavor is hosted by Sarah D. Bunting and Jeb Lund, because they give a fox.
Author and critic Zack Handlen made the mistake of offering to return for Pandorum, 2009's "what if we stuck a bunch of grimy Jell-O to some warehouse walls and filmed a live-action 'Space Madness' meets Event Horizon" sci-fi. The movie starts out well -- good atmospherics; good partner chemistry between Quaid and Ben Foster -- but as Zack notes, most of the interesting stuff happened before the movie started. And after we find out the enemy isn't a giant snacky space arachnid, well, it's a tough sit. (How tough? We measured its length in, variously, feet of blanket knitted, Lego kits assembled, and online games of Risk played.) Surrounded by the detritus of the other, better properties Pandorum tried to rip off, we talked about confusing ship layouts, Virtuosity, which member of Roxette wrote Nadia's dialogue, Quaid's search for emotional truth, and why hypersleep pods in the future come with tooth-whitening strips. Oh, also what the hell "pandorum" actually is. It's the QIF season finale, so tell Scotty the PA to douse your cleavage in melted licorice and join us!
Overall score: 2.83
QQQ score: 6.17
Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 454
Don't Say A Word counter: 2
SHOW NOTES
Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/quaidinfullpod)
Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull)
Follow Zack Handlen on Twitter (https://twitter.com/zhandlen)
Read more from Zack at Episodic Medium (https://episodicmedium.substack.com/s/star-trek-strange-new-worlds)
Xan Brooks's Pandorum review at The Guardian (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2009/oct/01/pandorum-review)
Annalee Newitz's at io9 (https://gizmodo.com/pandorum-delivers-zombie-mutant-banality-in-space-5368633)
Nathan Rabin's at AV Club (https://www.avclub.com/pandorum-1798207023)
Special Guest: Zack Handlen.
25 May 2023
S07E09: G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra
Extra Hot Great's Dave Cole is back to help us list the many complaints prompted by 2009's dreadful and boring live-action take on G.I. Joe, including attempts to elevate an already-fine cartoon, suboptimal explosions and fight scenes, pointless origin stories, creepy side views of Quaid holograms, and the movie putting SDB in the position of defending Transformers 2. G.I. Joe lifts scenes almost wholesale from Star Wars, Apollo 13, and others, and it still sucks -- but is DQ perfectly cast, and not the third or fourth choice for once? Did Channing Tatum's character learn about marriage proposals from Galaxy Quest's historical documents? And could we identify the exact moment, in the middle of a line of dialogue, when Joseph Gordon-Levitt gave up and went full Vincent Price on The Brady Bunch? So many questions (and Winston Lights-infused line deliveries)...but knowing is half the battle in the latest Quaid In Full.
Overall score: 2
QQQ score: 6.5
Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 447
Don't Say A Word counter: 2
SHOW NOTES
Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/quaidinfullpod)
Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull)
The Extra Hot Great podcast (https://extrahotgreat.com)
Dave's previous QIF guest shot, S05E01: DragonHeart (https://quaidinfull.fireside.fm/37)
Ebert's review of GIJ:TROC (https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/gi-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-2009)
Rolling Stone's (https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-reviews/g-i-joe-255858/)
Zack Handlen's at AV Club (https://www.avclub.com/g-i-joe-the-rise-of-cobra-1798218734)
Cobra Commander video at Something Awful (https://archive.org/details/SomethingAwfulTV_Archive/CobraCommander04-0r_pvfyyyiu.mp4)
Special Guest: David T. Cole.
18 May 2023
S07E08: SpongeBob Squarepants S06E13, "Grandpappy The Pirate"
Jeb had never seen a SpongeBob-isode before, and the good news is, he no longer has "incipient dread" about his child possibly enjoying it one day! The bad news...isn't really bad, or specific to this particular 12 minutes of SBSP content, because it involves the show not knowing whether it takes place underwater or on the surface, and Dennis Quaid's inconsistently accented Grandpappy is therefore obliged to fall for middle-school-theatre "set dressing" designed to convince him that Mr. Krabs is continuing the family pirate tradition. It's a hard one to gauge the Quaidosity of, but DQ's having a blast; arrrrr you ready for a pocket-sized episode of Quaid In Full?
Overall score: 6.5
QQQ score: 7.5
Days since a lost Kuffs accident: 440
Don't Say A Word counter: 2
SHOW NOTES
Follow us on Twitter (http://twitter.com/quaidinfullpod)
Get EVEN MORE Qontent (...sorry) at our Patreon page (https://www.patreon.com/quaidinfull)
Reach and audience
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Apple Podcasts (US)
4.9 / 5
45 ratings
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